Link has done many things in his life all at a very young age. He defeated hordes of monsters, traveled through time and into another world, and defeated two beings with powers equal to gods. Yet throughout all this he never lived a normal life.
While on a search for a friend who had left him long ago he is sucked in by a portal and teleported into the land of Equestria. When he awakens in this new land all of his memories of his life are gone. When the Elements of Harmony realize that he has no where to go one volunteers to take care of him until he can remember who he is.
The elements aren't the only ones who will try and get his memory back. They will get help from both a mystical being with wings and the dead to help the hero remember who he was. They better be quick though a evil unlike any other Equestria has ever seen is rising. And it wants the dead body of Link and it will do whatever it takes to make sure it happens.
My entry in the Super Smash Ponies Writing Contest #1
Cover art belongs to Art-Anon all credit goes to him
Nice story.
More please.
Not a bad start. Still needs some editing for grammar. Run-on sentences, missing commas, a few typos and misspelled words, that sort of thing.
5910400 Mind telling me what they are, my editor usually misses some of these things when he reads the chapter
5910557
Take a look at the first paragraph:
Let's go through this one sentence at a time:
Insert a comma between "Hyrule, the". Also, you used the word "land" twice. I would rephrase this as: "The sun shined down upon the beautiful land of Hyrule."
First, this sentence construction is strange. Why would we think that anyone would deny the beauty of Hyrule field? Compare this sentence: "While my sister annoys me sometimes, I can't deny that I love her."
Anyway, there should be commas between "field, no" and "beauty, especially". "It's" (with an apostrophe) is a contraction of "it is", whereas "its" (without the apostrophe) is a possessive pronoun, so in this case you should use "its" instead of "it's".
This is a long run-on sentence that can easily be split in two. Also, you used the world "field" multiple times. Try it like this: "On the field laid a single person, a small boy in green clothes. He was resting on the grass enjoying the rays of the sun as he took a small nap, a small hat covering part of his face as he relaxed."
"Hero of Time" is Link's title, so it should be capitalized and put in a separate phrase, like this: "This boy was Link, the Hero of Time, savior of..." Also, there are multiple lands mentioned, so that word should be plural.
Get rid of "While" and just start the sentence with "Many could not believe..." Add a comma between "hero, but". The phrase "when they see" would be better as "upon seeing". The word "was" should be plural "were", since it is referring to the "skills".
I definitely like the size and pacing, but it does have several grammatical errors and it could use a bit more showing (especially at the beginning).
this is really good! but why the items D:
this is looking bad! Link needs to find his ocarina fast!
Needs quotations
Extra word? Just what I saw.
Great story! Love the parasprite fairy.
I guess i would prefer him, without his masks, i mean without his god power, if he is in equestria, but i am going to see how it works out.
Not bad for the start, i could really like it.
Don´t need Guards for Twilight, bt don´t mind it this time.
Is the romance for link? If it is for Twilight, then i hope for a slow paced, and realistic one i guess.
If the story is something like an adoption, i prefer it if the romance is for the child, and the story focused about the mother, and son bonding time.
If you should have planned a romance for Twilight, or someone else, well like i said, i hope it is slow paced, and not rushed, somehow it usually feels a bit interfering for me, if there is a stallion soon after the mother got her foal.
Maybe i just didn´t liked to OC´s i knew till now.
I think i would enjoy it, if Link would have a sudden reaction, if he wakes up, i mean something that shows what he can do.
Or he has some really good reflexes, if Pinkie plays something with then, or thinks like that.
6151051 I'm glad that you enjoy and don't worry the romances I have planned will actually be realistic no love at first sight, there will be reasons why they work and I'll take time for them.
6151347 that sounds good, and if the romance should not be for Link, maybe one of the Fillys, maybe even a Backround Filly could start to like him?
Since a young Link in Equestria is new for me, i would like something like that, i mean just think about it.
I guess since it sounds good, i could give the romance a chance, if it should be for Twilight, i think i said it already, but i saw bad examples as Twilights Special somepony you know.
6152351 the most I can tell you is there will be two shipping and twilight isn't one of them
i look forward to Link showing them hes not some weak kid :D
um, I don't mean to be rude but when are you going to update this?
Nice to see Majora back again and more menacing than ever.
Really hope to see Link deal with the Hydra. Also, I think you need a proofreader as there are a few grammar and punctuation.
"This won't end well."
-Johnny Bravo
I knew it was Majora.
Did I missed a chapter?
Well not sure if I like Twilight with guards, but it doesn´t have to be bad.
I find your lack of commas... disturbing.
BEN reference?
That's where I draw the line.
Well i wold probably think that too if every enemy is stronger than th last one.
I hope he isn´t going from one fight to another one without a break, not that he is really fighting the whole story nonstop
However good story till now.
6443930
6444108 Me and my Proofreader do go over the chapter and we do tend to miss some things so thank you both for telling me I'll try and fix any I can find.
6444133 Just trying to establish some future events that will happen, Majora after all wants to get revenge on Link for beating him though he is still making a game out of killing him, The next fight will be the last one for awhile
i hope Link gets a sword soon
I'm looking forward towards the return of the Fierce Deity Mask...and the butt kicking to follow!
6151347 is there going to be Fluttercord? That would be AWESOME
6568071 yes there will be butt kicking and I hope you will enjoy the mask return in the future.
Nice story. It's already hard enough to find a Zelda story that's not cancelled. I look forward for more
6572811
I hear that
SO the mask miss it's user, that's sad.
Oh I can't wait to see what happens next!
Wow, I've never been so invested in a story since kingdom hearts of Harmony, this is how good your story is
. I love this story so much, and I'm begging you, from the bottom of my heart, please continue it 
.
Deku Spike I wonder what mayhem will follow.
Crap looks like some of link's things followed him out of Termia.
I'm not sure why I think it's weird half of the time if it even looks like main six X random Guard.
Maybe it is because they usually are just a random idiot with no backstory usually, not sure but I think I just don't like those love at first sight moments and I nearly thought you wanted to start something between him and Rainbow right there.
Not bad, but this is one of the first storys where I really want Link to be able to act soon, to regain some of his abilitys.
Great work, man do I love this story. I can't wait to see more. Btw, will Link regain all the items he lost from termina; the weapons, masks etc?
7177372 like any game where you lost all your stuff.
I'm looking at you metroid prime
Link will get everything back, the items but for the masks some will have some importance to the plot.
7177889 Does that mean Link will get his deity mask Majora gave him in the moon?
7177916 maybe, maybe not, just gonna have to wait and see
7178507 personally I hope he does, that mask is just awesome. Plus, I don't think it would be right to just leave it out, but that's just me. Then again, there could be others who agree with me on this. Still, I'll support whatever you decide.
Aside from the pacing and a few typos an interesting story let's see where this goes oh and try not to repeat yourself.
Oh and I think the royal guards aren't there to protect the princesses but to guard the civilians in case one of the princesses has to fight using all her power (I mean Celestia is the avatar of a star and I think would she use all of her power she could level canterlot with ease)
Just a quick thought I came up with while readin
7178861 that's pretty much the reason why they are there, twilight and the others can't always be in ponyville and seeing how that town is occasionally danger prone, gotta have a group to help keep it safe
Plus some important plot stuff with the guards will happen
Thats the way to go flutters giving away free food that isn't even yours to give
And stealing from the bed of your employer is also a great way to get more free time Mr unnamed guard
I really hope Link can get back to normal soon.
7228192 And by normal, I mean un-amnesia-d
My reaction to the Ben Pic.
"Oh. HELL. No. Fuck this shit!"