Thousands of years into the future, the Empire of Equestria is in shambles, its ponies left to waste away in space colonies or dying terraformed planets without a strong leader to guide them.
With the Empire fragmented mercenaries like Grogar have risen to power and attacked it head-on with only one goal in mind: to get their hooves on the Stone of Harmony, the last vestige of the old magic left in the universe.
In a desperate ploy to protect the stone, Starlight Glimmer embarks on a journey to safeguard it in the last place her adversaries would anticipate—the lost planet of Equus...if she finds it first.
Her old friend Sunburst might have some answers, but in a galaxy where everyone only looks after themselves, Starlight's misplaced trust might not only cost her her life but the future of the Empire as a whole.
Written for the Science Fiction Contest III
Rated T for sci-fi violence, some swearing, minor character death, and a dash of awkward romance, but nothing too severe.
Why did you make Grogar of all people a simple mercenary?
Oh I like this.
Man, I love that this feels like such a classic space adventure. We have romance, peril, betrayal, daring escapes, etc. The story feels episodic and complete at the same time, and it's just fun, dammit.
Really great stuff that deserves more attention!
Hey there, fellow contestant! Here's my review of your story:
As my buddy Pen and Paper mentioned, this has a lot of the hallmarks of a great space adventure. It's exciting and paced well and does a good job of not overexplaining things. I'm a bit ambivalent on Starlight x Sunburst, but I think this is a good example of the ship done well, and they are cute together (even if some of their moments are a bit cheesy).
On the more critical side, I think the nebulous nature of the Harmony Stone leaves it as this blank magical macguffin with no real defining characteristics other than being really powerful. It's also a little jarring to see Starlight, objectively one of the most powerful characters in the canon universe, be so helpless here and needing to rely on luck and Sunburst to get rescued. And lastly, because the story ends the way it does, it feels incomplete, which might be a problem for a contest entry.
That said, I wouldn't mind seeing more of this later. Space Pirate Sunset Shimmer sounds pretty badass!