A crimson halo ringed the sun as it crept behind the shadowed silhouette of the distant Canterhorn. With the stillness and warmth expected of a midsummer night, the humid air bore the chirping of crickets and cicadas, while the first hints of stars shimmered in the clear evening sky. The once-busy town seemed all but empty, fireflies flickered about the golden streetlights, and Anon stared a hole in the little blue horse that had taken him to some sort of life-sized gingerbread house.
"Looks closed to me, Rainbow."
She turned away from the store's darkened windows and shot him a crooked grin.
"That's what they want you to think."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Who's 'they'?"
She snickered.
"You'll see."
It was a delightfully ominous answer, and one that deepened the already gaping pit in his stomach. His grimace apparently reflected this, and Rainbow's features softened.
"This is ... a Ponyville welcoming tradition, yeah, let's go with that. Just trust me, you're gonna love it."
Rainbow then opened the door, paying little mind to the low-hanging closed sign, and held it open with an outstretched wing. Looking back at Anon and Summer, she waved them inside.
"Don't just stand there, come on!"
Summer tapped Anon's elbow, motioning for him to lean down, and whispered in his ear.
"I say we play along, but it's your call. We can leave if you want to."
Though Anon trusted Rainbow about as much as any other friend, he couldn't shake the feeling that someone—or somepony—was lurking around with a baseball bat, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to bludgeon and drag him to a horsey Eyes Wide Shut party. The feeling had bothered him since he got off the train, and had only gotten worse as the day went on, despite the unquestionable warmth and kindness of both the town and its inhabitants. Perhaps he was simply being paranoid—he certainly tried to tell himself that—but his concerns kept niggling away at the back of his mind until they all but overwhelmed him.
In the end, and with no small amount of willpower, he buried his inhibitions and decided to just go along with whatever Rainbow had planned. After all, ponies were a rather amiable lot, and they held friendship as the ultimate good, so the odds of something truly horrible happening to him were, he figured, practically nonexistent.
Anon gave a curt, if forced, nod.
"Alright, but if a witch stuffs me into her oven or something, I'm taking you with me."
Summer tilted her head and narrowed her eyes.
"What was that, some kinda reference? That sounded like a reference."
"Yeah, you know, Hansel and Gretel? Candy house in the woods, trail of breadcrumbs and all that?"
He was met with a blank stare.
"Fucking ABBA's a thing here, but ... " He sighed. "Fine, whatever, just lead the way."
Like an inmate to his execution, he shuffled through the door, swallowing as it clicked shut behind him—the interior was as black as a tomb, stretching out into an infinite nothing. Rainbow forged ahead, disappearing into the shadows, while Anon planted his feet, clinging to the few stubborn beams of light that crept through the shutters. Alarms were ringing in his head, and Summer rubbed up against his side, just as much for her own peace of mind as his.
"Can't say I'm feeling too welcomed, Non."
"Hmm." Anon rested a hand on the small of Summer's back. "Hey Rainbow, you good?"
The question echoed through the darkness, and the only response was a suffocating silence.
"Are we really doing this bit again? That bush from earlier was ... "
"SURPRISE!"
Light suddenly filled the room, revealing a remarkably large crowd of ponies, one that probably shouldn't have gone unnoticed, even if it was pretty dark. A banner reading 'Welcome!' hung suspended from the rafters, and a line of tables covered in sweets ran along the length of the store. Pinkie Pie—who had somehow wedged herself between Anon and Summer—wrapped her forelegs around their shoulders.
"It's so nice to see you again, Nonny! And you too, Summy!"
Summer glowered.
"Don't call me that."
Pinkie giggled, wiping a tear from her eye.
"Ah, good times. It's my honor, and privilege, to officially welcome you to Ponyville!"
Anon tried to distance himself from the mare, but her earth pony strength made doing so somewhat impossible.
"Didn't you already do that?"
"No, no, no, that was the greeting, this is the welcoming." She waved a hoof. "Entirely different things."
"I see."
He didn't.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
" ... Did you know that zebras commit over half of all violent rhymes? ... "
" ... so this bucking dyke just runs up and grabs my snowpity ... "
" ... I wonder what his hoof-spiders feel like ... "
About an hour or two had gone by, and the party was in full swing. Rainbow had thankfully, mercifully, interrupted Pinkie's budding lecture on hospitality with an offered bottle of cider, and it wasn't long before everybody settled into their own little worlds. While Summer and Rainbow talked off to the side, and Pinkie busied herself with all sorts of festive nonsense, Anon was content to sit back, nurse a drink, and engage in some good-natured people watching—there was something about ponies, he thought, that made them particularly entertaining subjects.
Ignoring the stares of some of the greasier mares that decided to attend, he made his way to the door, keen to get some fresh air. It wasn't as if he wasn't having fun—far from it—but something about the situation still rubbed him the wrong way.
Stepping out, he took a moment to appreciate his surroundings. Night had fallen, and the sky was a pale, gentle blue, a full moon shining down and casting the rooftops in a spectral glow. A pony had followed him outside, if the clopping of hooves was any indication, and she plopped down on her flank right alongside him.
"Hey."
He turned towards the mare.
"Oh, hey, you're ... Twilight, right?"
She nodded, nervously rubbing her forelegs together.
"Look, about ... a few months ago, when we visited you." Twilight took a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry if I came across as, um, a little strong. It's just that I'm a big fan, and ... I've always had a bit of a hero worship problem, I guess. If it isn't a human, then it's Starswirl, or the Princess, or ... well, you get the point."
Anon couldn't help but chuckle.
"Hey, it's all good. You're far from the worst, believe me."
"Still, I ... "
He held a hand up.
"Celestia personally showed me her doll collection. Weird fangirling doesn't even faze me at this point."
It took a moment for his words to register.
" ... Princess Celestia is a humare?"
"You mean you didn't know? I thought that's where you got it from, being her student and all."
"Truthfully, she's pretty cagey about her private life. I'll have to bring it up one day, maybe send her a letter ... "
They sat in silence for a moment, and Twilight scuffed a hoof against the ground.
"Hey Anon?"
"Yeah?"
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
"Wait, wha - "
A soaked rag wrapped around his head, suspended in a lavender aura, and Anon fell to the ground as darkness consumed him.
goshdarnit Twi
goddamn it twiggy
No way that can go wrong, no sir.
Fantastic work.
Oh, Twilight...
Considering Zecora? Pony racism at it's funniest
Oh Twiggles, for one moment you made us believe you had become reasonably sane... Now we know the truth though, Twiggy's gone Twilynanas
Dammit, Twi! You had to ruin all the effort made!
LOL
Twilight just pulled a Mrs Brown.
That got a legit lol out of me.
I'm genuinely surprised that Twilight didn't know Celestia was a humare. Can't wait to see how deep of a hole Twilight is gonna dig for herself. Hopefully deep enough for a pony, but just right for a human to climb out.
oh ..goodie... going this far with her fangirling....
i know it's for comedy but it feelis charaer assassinaty
"Well, I don't actually know what chloroform smells like. How about you describe it, and I'll tell you?"
(one tediously long and excruciatingly detailed description later)"Yup, that's chloroform, all right!"
(Nods at Twilight, smiling, then passes out)
Damn, and here I thought things were getting better.
Oh god I've just noticed the jar on the cover picture
Dammit Sparkle. Also seriously dude? you fell for it too? Silly anon
*FACEPALMS* Oh Twilight... You are going to be in a world of hurt for doing this. Obsession leads to terrible things and the consequences ain't fun either.
Fun fact, I actually just looked this up, so it’s word for word: It takes at least five minutes of inhaling an item soaked in chloroform to render a person unconscious.
😂😂
media0.giphy.com/media/UWse77aqHkxCFEdUPB/giphy.gif
I found this pretty funny.
10868557
Yep! Gotta love the movie magic. For me it's on the same level as "I hit him on the head and knocked him out for more than a few seconds, but he'll just wake up with a headache and be fine. The prolonged unconsciousness definitely isn't due to serious brain damage. We're the good guys!"
And here Anon was given her the benefit of doubt, thinking that Twilight wasn't that bad all things considered.
Why am I getting Annie Wilkes from Misery vibes from Twilight right now?
Would calling up Celestia and telling her that Anon was kidnapped (... foalnapped) by Twilight make this situation better or worse?
Celestia could probably find Anon ASAP, but she might delay giving him back
He says seconds away from being kidnapped.
Nice! Update
Time for take one on the operation husbando for Purple Smart <)
O for fuck sake... Twilight had a great start and probably even had a chance! Now she literally killed every chance ever to get in any good relationship with him...
Lyra i see doing that doing... Literally in two / three storys, but Twilight?
10868459
She had a great start! The hell one can even suspect shit like that is ok?
10868463
Really hoping its Lyra or a Changeling not Twilight...
She is booksmart, so she must know what the punished for obducting someone is plus Celestia was mentioned so why would she risk making her Teacher angry especially if she is a Humare to
10868465
The sarcasm is thicker than the Apple molases of Applejacks familie...
10868471
There still a chance its a Imposter Among Em...
I can see Twilight rather paying someone to obducting Anon so she can save him and hes falling madly in love with her... Just LIKE in all HER ROMANCE NOVELsssss ♡
10868472
She was so clooose
Unless its a imposter and the real Twilight comes to save him with the imposter infront of em.
No need to tell anyone Twilight hired the Changeling or Illusion user to do it...this is def not a good way to build bridges XD
Oh, yeah, this will end well.
Pro tip for anyone who wants to pull a Twilight here, chloroform doesn’t work that fast and needs to be constantly inhaled to keep someone under. It’s better to just strangle hold them from behind when they don’t expect it.
Honestly, I thought this was going to show up in an earlier chapter.
10868489
After learning of it she couldnt risk dissapointing and more important harming a fellow Humares potencial husbando...
10868492
Yep... Than again i read a story were Twilight killed a Royal Guard for a experiment and only revived him because her teacher 'might' disapprove of one of her Guard dying to experiment and getting PR backlash...
10868499
Nice
10868515
Your avatar is the perfect mirror image if me after the last part of the chapter...
10868537
Its come so out of left field everyone would fall for the ' what' ? Moment...
10868557
Not if its very high concentrated. Happend to me ones but i accidently knocked myself out.
What is never shown in movies is your puke a lot afterwards and the killer headache that makes it impossible to stand.
Plus i get high concentrated O2 for 2-3 hour after i get checked in the hospital
10868557
True. Ether works faster, but has a stronger smell. Also chloroform is a carcinogenic, which is why you shouldn't use chlorinated water in a hot tub. For the purposes of narrative convenience, unless you're making the character to be an absolute bad ass, it works better to have the character go out quickly in a few seconds, rather than having them struggle for several minutes when a chloroform-soak rag is placed over their mouth and nose.
Twilight nooooooooo
time for prison for twilight.
Chloroform doesn't work like that.
That got dark quick. Ok, you've got my attention.
That some strong chloroform for it to work that fast!
Nope. Doesn't even smell like any kind of chemical I know. It has kind of a stale smell than reminds me of something ...
Oops that's not the rag; that is my special sock I use for ... never mind. Wait a minute. Now does this one smell like chloroform to you?
Despite being 13 percent of the population…
Lmao
This is my new favorite way of describing hands and fingers.
10868882
Okay but it's magic chloroform so it's fine
10869062
Yes, also how's your story coming along?
From 0-100 real quick. She gonna slip him the love poison?
10869618
Which one?
If you mean "Equestrias Wild Card" I'm currently working on the next chapter and it's gonna be longer than the last.
I've also named the next chapter of "Kingdom of Predators"
10869680
Noce
10869639
It's possible!
Damn, Twilight was really was halfway through undoing all the bad rep she has, then she just goes and does that.
Wonder what she's going to do now?
Oh deary, deary me Twilight.
You were doing so well.
btw
shutters
10868727
Do you a link to it?
10869839
Can you remind me later again? I have over 200+ favorits and over 400+ hidden shelter to search for it...
10869839
Never Judge A Bug By Her Cover
Mated For Life
10869901
Thank you!
10869904
Be warned its a real cruel story. Element of Harmony never existed and the had to do everything the hard way...