As they wove through the streets, the crowd began to thin. The heat of the day was intensifying by the moment, and it seemed the cats had no interest in enduring it. With some breathing space, Scootaloo smiled, "This is almost better."
Applejack nodded lightly, "In some ways, sure. Just st--"
A purrsian stepped out in front of Applejack, wearing an almost stifling amount of clothing by the look of it. Dark robes concealed most of its form, and even its tail was wrapped up from sight. "What a pleasant day for a walk," she said, "I know just the place you should do so..."
Apple Bloom tilted her head, "We're already walking to tha tailor!"
The purrsian wagged a finger, "Not any longer." Stepping out beside her came a hulking shape, dressed similarly, but its shape was all wrong for a purrsian. The arms were too thick, and though shrouded, its thick claws were on full display. "My associate here will guide you. Be courteous and save us both some time and energy in the hot sun."
Applejack bristled as she pawed the ground, "Now see here! Ya best be backin' off before ah decide you're trying ta threaten us."
The hulking figure showed no response, save to suddenly thrust a clawed hand forward. Applejack was too slow to avoid being grabbed around the throat, but reared up, lashing out with her deadly hooves. Though she landed the blows, it was like punching a bag of leather, and the assailant cared not, instead lifting her bodily from the ground despite her bulk.
The purrsian looked towards the smaller ponies, "Don't damage them, they're valuable."
Sweetie let out her best, silent, scream, forcing the purrsian to raise a single paw to the side of her head. "Ow," she said in a complaining voice, "Cut that out, or I may allow some bruising."
Apple Bloom dug out a packet of a bomb and tossed it quickly where it could catch the smaller in its blast, afraid to catch Applejack if she aimed any closer at the hulking beast that had AJ. The cloaked figure swept away the flames, clearly unimpressed. "Is that the best you have? Give up. I'm not even here to hurt you anyway."
Scootaloo edged closer to the others, whispering, "Should we run?"
Sweetie shook her head a little, "She's got Applejack!"
Upon mentioning, the hulking figure hefted Applejack up into the air over its head and pinned her hooves in place, immobilizing her struggles. The cloaked purrsian chuckled darkly. "I do have your friend. Now come along. If you're stalling for the guards, I paid them well to leave us alone, and I mean to earn that money back and more."
With the figure's hands on her hooves instead of her throat, Applejack could speak, and did so, "Run girls! Ah'll take care of mahself!"
Scootaloo began speaking words of power with a scowl. Taking it as a prompt, Apple Bloom let loose another bomb, even if it only seemed to irritate the purrsian.
She drew a short curved blade and advanced on them, "Enough. I did try to be kind."
Sweetie Belle backed away from her as her voice rose into a nervous song. Despite her uncertainty, the words filled the fillies and Applejack with a renewed sense of vigor and determination. Apple Bloom moved between the purrsian and Scootaloo, trying to protect her as she cast her spell. She paid the price quickly as a quick slash of that blade left a nasty gash in her shoulder. Already this was becoming much worse than their other adventures.
The spell finished, and suddenly Applejack surged outwards in size, coming down on the hulking creature that held her. She lashed out her hooves in a stunning buck as she said a quick spell. There was a bright flash when her hooves connected with the purrsian, knocking her into the air to crash against the side of a building. The hulking figure took immediate revenge with a duo of raking claws, leaving painful and bloody lines across Applejack's front.
Taking advantage of the chaos of Applejack's escape, Apple Bloom hurled a bomb at the purrsian that had crashed against the wall, engulfing her briefly in flames. The purrsian quickly gathered herself back up, "This has become too high a price." She ducked into a close sideroad without further comment. The hulking brute nodded at Applejack before leaping clear over her, landing on her back, then hopping down the other side to chase after the purrsian.
Sweetie Belle was first to speak as she stepped forward uncertainly, "Is everyone OK?"
Apple Bloom sagged in place, "No... But we won!"
Applejack quickly hurried up to her wounded sister and seized Bloom by the scruff of the neck. Applejack placed Bloom on her back, "You just stay right there. That was a right brave thing ya did, foolish too."
Scootaloo pointed at Applejack, "You're hurt too."
Applejack snorted, "I've been through worse. Sweetie, can ya do more ah that healin'?"
Sweetie shook her head, "Out of song magic... "
Apple Bloom grumbled from on top of Applejack, "I'm outta bombs. Oh!" She dug out a potion and chugged it down, and her gash sealed into an angry red wound. She tucked the empty vial away for later re-use.
Applejack blinked at the display, "Y'all really have been practicing. I'm... proud of y'all, but ya should run when ah say run!"
Scootaloo concentrated a moment, and Applejack shrunk to her usual size. "If we did that," argued Scootaloo with a scowl, "You'd be dragged off to who knows where!"
Sweetie bobbled her head in agreement, "The Cutie Mark Crusaders don't abandon their members, and you're one of us!"
Applejack let the matter drop for the moment, turning and walking, with one Crusader on her back and the other two flanking her. There were no more obstacles stopping them from reaching the tailor, and they soon stepped inside, collectively sighing with the coolness of the interior compared to the increasing heat of the approaching noon sun.
The tailor was present. The male purrsian stepped towards them on all fours, dressed in fine silks and delicate jewelry. "Ah, look what comes, hiding from the scorch of the Sun King's glare. Are you here for shelter from the day, or do you seek to cover yourselves in fine attire?"
Apple Bloom flashed a bright smile, "Is both outta the question?"
"Certainly not," agreed the purrsian. "I am Reginald Silvertail, and it will be my distinct pleasure to serve you." He pointed at Applejack, "I apologize for being rude, but you appear to be injured, madame."
Applejack shook her head, "Jus' pretend it's not there. Not much ah can do about it right now. Get these fillies some functional clothes, if ya would be so kind?"
Reginald nodded as he looked over the small forms of the Crusaders, "You," he pointed at Apple Bloom, "Let's start with you. Do you have a profession, little girl?"
Apple Bloom slid down off of Applejack and approached, "Mah name's Apple Bloom, and that's my big sister, Applejack!"
Reginald smiled, "I had heard that prairie ponies could have powerful family bonds, but never witnessed it for myself. I would expect you to have a brand of destiny much like hers... but you don't have any? Surely there is an interesting tale to be told?"
Apple Bloom tilted her head, but Scootaloo spoke first, "We didn't get ours yet!"
Reginald blinked softly, "How can that be? I was told ponies were born with their marks, branded by destiny itself in the womb. Let us put that aside for the moment, as that will not get you clothed." He looked over Apple Bloom, reaching to turn her head this way and that, then to lift her hooves. He produced a measuring string and started going over all of her dimensions.
Apple Bloom tried to be still for him, but couldn't stand being silent, so she spoke, "Ah was training ta be an alchemist!"
"That explains the bottles," agreed Reginald. "I am certain you will become a great one, with time."
Applejack raised a brow, "Don't mean ta be rude, but yer a mite kinder than most of the cats we've run into."
Reginald shrugged, "Purrsian, and we may be all cut from the same cloth, but that does not mean our patterns do not change. Do not assume we are all obsessed with wealth simply because many are." He flashed a smile, taking a few notes before he moved on to Sweetie Belle, "And what is your name, adorable little foal?"
Sweetie Belle returned the smile quickly. "Hi there! I'm Sweetie Belle," her voice squeaking in the greeting.
Reginald reached to petted her on the head gently, "I can feel a warm spirit here, are you aiming to be a priest of some kind?"
Sweetie shook her head, "I'm learning song magic."
Reginald nodded, "That would have been my second guess, I assure. Will you sing for us? I will give a discount if you do."
Sweetie glanced at Applejack and the others before she took a soft breath and began singing a soft little wordless melody. Reginald smiled as he worked, taking all of Sweetie's measurements with practiced motions and quick scribbles in his notebook.
"Last, but certainly not least," he said as he approached Scootaloo, "Hello there, little pegasus. Now, I suppose chances are against it, but are you all related?"
Scootaloo shook her head, "Applejack's like a big sister to all of us, but not by blood, no. I'm Scootaloo! You're the nicest purrsian we've run into so far!"
Reginald began measuring Scootaloo, "Sometimes a soft word and a smile will earn you more money than a thousand scowls and threats. I have no need for the coarse rudeness of some of my fellows." He rapped a knuckle against Scootaloo's spellbook, "What do you have in here?"
Scootaloo tilted her head, "That's my book of spells. Every wizard has to have one, uh, that's what I read."
Reginald tilted his head, "A wizard, are you?"
Applejack interjected, "Ah think Twilight called it a 'magus'."
Reginald shook his head, "I'm afraid I wouldn't know the difference, but you must be a smart filly to practice the arcane."
Sweetie stopped singing to chime in, "She is!"
Reginald departed with a final nod, vanishing into the back. "Make yourselves comfortable." The last part of him visible was his bejeweled tail, then he was gone.
Applejack settled down on her belly. "Apple Bloom, what do ya need ta make more of them potions? Could ya make a big ol' batch of 'em?"
Apple Bloom shook her head. "If ya try ta make it too big, the whole thing goes to waste. It's, uh, complicated, but th' one ah used tastes pretty nasty. I haven't quite got it to th' point ah'd want to share it around. Ah'm not even sure it'd work for somepony else."
Scootaloo tilted her head. "I don't get it. It's a potion. If it works, who cares how bad it tastes?"
Apple Bloom shook her head quickly. "There's magic involved! My magic. Until ah get it right, it only works with mah magic."
Applejack reached for Apple Bloom and pet through her mane gently. "You'll get it right, Ah'm sure of it. We'll get some supplies after we're done here."
Sweetie is a Bard, right? Like Pinkie?
5864903 Correct!
I suppose this isn't an error per se, but do quadrupedal felinoids have "fingers"?
You don't need to say "AJ" at the end of the sentence, having written her name previously. Just say "her" instead.
A big "ol'" batch of them (note the apostrophe).
*looks at sheets* Wait, Scootaloo is the smart one? Excluding wisdom of course.
Don't drop "saidisms" entirely. They're a good way to anchor a conversation so the reader knows exactly who is speaking. They're also useful when you don't want to use an exact quote (e.g. when asked about the apple pie, Applejack said she would like some)
It was a lot more brave than it was foolish; she successfully bought Scootaloo enough time to finish the spell that won the battle for them, which is what she was trying to do. The CMC are continuing to use the kind of teamwork that is only possible for best friends; they know each other so well that they can anticipate each other's strategies and assist them without discussing it first. I wish the Mane 6 were more like this (both in the show and in fanfiction), but it warms my heart to see the CMC working together this way. At the rate they're going, Applejack is going to learn a friendship lesson from those three, rather than the other way around.
petted
If they're going to get mugged in broad daylight, they should invest in a pocket mirror and maybe a metal can full of marbles.
5865061 Purrsians do have fingers, and her could mistakenly refer to Apple Bloom, no? Other one fixed!
What species was the mook? Gnoll, Troll, or "You'll find out soon enough"?
5865095 Fixed! Yeah, the CMC have the makings of a very successful adventuring team, if they survive long enough to get some levels in. They are, minus getting them to Everglow in the first place, good foals and trying to do good.
5865139 Wrong, but I'm not going to reveal! I love secrets.
5865094 Two 14s and a 16 means they're all pretty smart. It's pretty hard to quantify between 14 and 16 in any real way.
5865133 So with the setup nearing completion, we've started rolling in the plot-hooks, the first one being an attempted kidnapping.
That purrsian female's choice of language made it pretty clear that she was a slaver, and that she'd marked AJ and company as potential targets. While I suppose this could be due to someone having their eye on them for a pre-existing reason, that seems exceedingly unlikely. More plausible is that their having wandered into town with no clothes or goods marked them as clueless, if not helpless, new arrivals, ripe for the picking. Of course, that the guards were apparently bribed to look the other way sends a bad message about corruption in Murrage - if you have enough money, I suspect that you could get away with almost anything in this city.
On the other hoof, I found Reginald to be perhaps a little too ingratiating of a character. The way he kept buttering up the CMC seemed to cross the line from "gregarious shopkeeper" to "potential child-molester," with all of the attendant creepiness. I'm half expecting him to have cut a deal with that slaver (after all, where else would a bunch of naked new arrivals head?) to help capture them in exchange for a discount in buying one of the fillies afterward. I'm not expecting that to happen, mostly because his character seems to exist to act as a counterbalance to the other purrsians we've met so far (as Apple Bloom noted outright)...but if it did, it wouldn't be completely out of left-field either.
That said, they're almost certainly not out of danger yet. That slaver is clearly going to want to make her money up, and it seems unlikely that one failed attempt will be enough to convince her that her scheme is unprofitable.
As far as fighting went, the Crusaders did a surprisingly good job, and not for the first time. I'm honestly starting to become surprised at just how battle-canny a group of untrained fillies are, first at evading an ambush, then at fighting a giant scorpion, and now at defeating an attempted kidnapping. Applejack is the trained warrior, and they're regularly showing her up. Did they do combat drills when they were studying magic?
5865213 The CMC are quick learners and very creative. Their only mental deficiencies (well, Sweetie is a little thick sometimes) are a short attention span and bad judgement, both of which can be fixed with practice. Applejack is pretty good in the judgement and experience department, but her raw intelligence is pretty meager. Sometimes it's hard to believe Apple Bloom is related to the rest of the Apples.
5865224 They read a lot of comics. Though, to be honest, none of them really went outside the tricks they already knew. Scootaloo has used the get bigger spell before, she just cast it at Applejack this time. Apple Bloom threw more bombs. The only unusual thing was her advancing to guard Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle sang.
Applejack's a tried warrior, but she's still pretty straight forward. See a problem? Kick it until it ceases to be an issue.
5865224
There were a couple hints that the CMC were practicing combat-related magic even though they did not expect to see combat (fire bombs have so many peacetime uses). The way the CMC have been winning fights so far does not involve prowess or skill as much as it involves quick thinking and teamwork
Not to put too fine a point on it, but Applejack is kind of stupid. She is also an adult, which means she is less adaptable and learns slowly.
5865210
You use this particular description quite often and it's a little vague. Perhaps you could change it up sometimes with "X raked Y's chest" or "X's claws slashed Y's chest" or "X's claws left painful gashes wherever they touched" or "X swiped with his claws, leaving bloody trails across Y's chest" etc, etc. When you just call them "lines" you could be talking about a charcoal drawing for all we know (not really, I knew what you meant ).
Also, if AJ is a bloody mess, she won't want to put her clothes on until that's been fixed (Wait a second, is she getting clothes? They just talked about the fillies).
5865292 Fixed! I'll give you chalk lines...
Well, hopefully word will get around: don't mess with these particular ponies. At least, not unless you come better prepared. Of course, there is the possibility of word getting to the town guard. Corrupt as they are, I'm sure they could find some infraction if they looked hard enough...
But there's no need to worry about that just yet. For now, the ponies can worry about proper desert attire, and Apple Bloom can keep working on infusions.
5865404 Time will tell! Thanks for coming along for the ride. I do hope things are improving.
It'll probably be difficult to get Scootaloo to change back, as she can fly now. Though her mind might break once she finds out that Levitate, fly, Overland Flight are on her spell list.
hum the plot thickens. Apple Bloom making more potions in the land ware magic is plentiful for most every one this is going to be good.
5865480 Did you spot the updated fic art?
5865250
That's because combat magic is what those styles of spellcasting happen to lend themselves too. You'll notice that most d20 character spell lists tend to be filled with offensive, defensive, and buff spells; even the utility spells tend to be combat-slanted. The Crusaders were practicing combat related magic because that's pretty much all of what that magic is good for. You can use a gun as a paperweight, to be sure, but for the most part it's going to be used for killing things.
That they've been so quick-thinking is part of what's suspicious. That they're able to keep their heads together in the chaos of a battlefield is shockingly disciplined in such unruly fillies. That they can coordinate under those circumstances even more so.
I'll see your fine point by being blunt: that's not true. Applejack has never been characterized as being dumb, stupid, or ignorant. She's a country girl, but she's always had a down-to-earth, practical wisdom about her. Moreover, she's never once been shown to be lacking an education (the best you can say is that she doesn't have the sheer amount of information available to her that Twilight does, but that's a characterization of Twilight, rather than Applejack; almost nopony has the raw data and computational skills that Twilight does).
This strikes me as a complete mischaracterization of the differences between adults and children. Not having learned how to handle various situations yet is what characterizes children - this is not "adaptability." Likewise, that children are still gathering data regarding the world around them and how to interact with it does not mean that adults "learn slowly" in comparison to them; given that Applejack already knows how to handle a fight, she doesn't need to learn this, whereas the CMC should still be trying to figure that particular bit of knowledge out.
5872715
It may be unusual for children, but the CMC have always been like that. Their plans may not be good, but they come up with them quickly and under duress.
Applejack is stupid. For proof, look at how she handled Flim and Flam both times, her part in Testing, Testing, her line about "fancy mathematics" in Applebuck Season, all of the Last Roundup, and all of Somepony to Watch Over Me. What she has is wisdom, which she earned the hard way by doing everything wrong and seeing what happens (Cutie Mark Chronicles).
He rapped a knuckle against Scootaloo's spellbook.
6464849 Fixed, welcome to a new story.
Ah'm
6831218 Fixed along with its brother.
6831237 ima stop reading your story on that spaz called silver until im done with this saga so that i might get an hour of read time from the story when Im done with this one
As before, mite, not might.