Dinky Doo trotted out of her boyfriend’s front door with an annoyed look on her face, then was followed by another unicorn with a mane the color of toothpaste, and a white earth pony stallion with large brown spots on his head and back.
The unicorn spoke, “Oh, we’re in Ponyville!” She said as she scanned the area, “It hasn’t changed a bit!” She said in excitement.
Dinky talked over her shoulder, “Is it really that hard to say, ‘I’m sorry’?” She said angrily, “It’s been ten years! Going on an adventure, then just leaving her to rot really damages a pony!”
“I panicked!” The Unicorn mare stated, “Which is odd, because I usually don’t…” She paused for a moment, the stallion bumping into her, and rubbed her chin with a hoof, “Which is quite odd, because I don’t usually panic!” She looked at her flank, “Or regenerate as a mare. Whatever made me regenerate must have been controlling my personality for the moment!” Dinky turned her body to face her, but found that the Unicorn and her boyfriend had lagged behind.
“Hey! I’m over here! Not back there in ‘la la’ land!”
The blue unicorn looked back at Dinky, taking her eyes away from her flank, “Ah, yes, sorry. I’m just thinking.” She trotted back to Dinky, and they continued their journey to the ‘Doo’ household.
“Doctor?” The stallion trotted up next to the toothpaste unicorn, “I have to agree with Dinky. Why can’t you just tell her you’re sorry?” He said confusedly.
“It would be too complicated. She’d ask me to take her back with me, or she’d end up turning against us and trying to kill me, or if I told her I couldn’t take her with me, she could hurt herself, or worse.”
Dinky stopped, “What?” She turned to face the Doctor, her expression changed to surprise instead of anger, “She could end up KILLING herself out of knowing she can’t travel through time?”
“It’s never happened before! But I’ve never just stopped and left them on the street. Except that once, but she didn’t go INSANE about it!”
Dinky’s expression changed from surprise to sorrow. “Oh… well… maybe it is best we don’t tell her.” Dinky continued forward, and into the streets of Ponyville with her head hanging.
“So how far away is your home, Dinky?” The Doctor asked.
“A few minutes away.” She said quietly, as if she had just been told her mother was dead NOW.
“Well, I’m sort of excited to see what your window has in store for us!” The stallion said.
“Pipsqueak, I’m not completely sure if there’s anything wrong with her window. But even if there isn’t, my assistants are usually hunted down or kidnapped. USUALLY. But this also puts Dinky in danger.” She said the last part under her breath.
“What?” Pip asked in surprise, also whispering, and leaned his head toward the Doctor.
“My assistants know who I am, and may know where I am,” The Doctor whispered, “therefore proving useful to the forces of evil... and… other things…” The Doctor looked around Ponyville, as if saying, “Don’t ask what I mean by ‘other things’.”
Pip slowed to the back once more, keeping his face straight, but signs of fear showed in his face, thinking of the possible dangers of Dinky being kidnapped.
The trio trotted through Ponyville, one hanging their head, another looking straight ahead with a slightly fearful look, and an over-joyful blue unicorn.
“Are you sure you can’t tell her who you are?” Dinky said, disappointment and sadness across her face as she stood at the door to her house.
“I’m sorry, Dinky,” The Doctor said quietly, “But I just can’t. The only way I’ll tell her is if she’s in danger, and I have to save her. She’d figure it out before I’d say it, though.” The Doctor looked along the walls of the three story building. The last time he had seen it, it had been a wood brown. It was now a vibrant yellow, and the roof seemed to be raised a floor. ‘Things change in time.’ She thought to herself.
Dinky turned the doorknob with her magic, and opened the door to the edited house.
The trio walked into the house. A kitchen, just a fridge, a counter desktop, and an oven, was on the immediate left. Straight ahead was a circle of chairs and couches, and a staircase on the far left of them. A hallway was to the immediate right. There was one door, and the Doctor could clearly pay attention to it.
“Dinky,” She began, “What’s down there?” She pointed down the hallway.
“Bathroom.” She said bluntly, and trotted over to a couch in the center of the room.
‘Of course,’ The Doctor thought, embarrassed, ‘I can clearly see it, and everyone knows it’s there. Nothing weird at all!’
“Mom! I’m home!” Dinky yelled up the staircase.
“Hold on!” The Doctor heard the unmistakable voice of Ditzy Doo. Suddenly, a loud crash was heard, and a grey Pegasus stumbled down the stairs, and looked at her daughter with crossed eyes, “The chairs do not want to cooperate with me!” She said angrily, spread her wings, and shook some dust that had gathered off of her.
“That’s why you let me know if you need help moving things!” Dinky began to trot up the stairs, “I can easily help with my magic!” She said over her shoulder, smiling at her clumsy mother.
“Yeah, well- OH! You didn’t tell me we had guests!” She turned and looked at he Doctor and Pip.
“Hello, miss Doo!” Pip cheered happily.
“Hello, Pipsqueak! How was the party last night?” Ditzy asked the stallion politely.
“It was great!” He said, then blushed slightly as he remembered how it ended.
“Good,” Ditzy turned to the Doctor.
A lump caught in the Doctor’s throat, ‘Uh oh.’
“Hi, Colgate. It’s nice to see you again! I didn’t know you’d be back this early! How was Appaloosa?” She asked her.
Pip gasped in realization, while the Doctor stood confused.
Then she understood, “It was great! The ponies there are amazing! Absolutely brilliant!” She said smiling.
“Great! Now you can help Dinky load these chairs upstairs in the new family room!”
The Doctor swallowed, “Umm, okay! I’ll just, uh, take these then.” The Doctor grabbed a chair by the teeth, and began to drag it.
“Why don’t you just use magic?” Ditzy asked.
‘Oh, crap!’ The Doctor began to panic. Then she had an idea, and let go of the chair, “Being with Earth ponies for so long makes me just want to work like they do! You know, get the feeling that they do from manual labor!”
Ditzy smiled, “That’s what I like about you, Cole! Always trying new things!”
The Doctor smiled back, “I like me too!”
Ditzy laughed, and then had a straight face, “Now get to work.”
"Yes, ma'am!" The Doctor grabbed the chair once more and began to drag it up the stairs…
“Why did I agree to this?” The Doctor complained to Dinky as she dragged the third chair up the stairs.
“Why don’t you just use your magic!” Dinky retorted.
“Because I’m new to being a unicorn!” She whispered in reply, trying not to alarm Ditzy.
“Oh, right.” Dinky said, and levitated another chair into position.
“Why are we here again?” Pip asked as he sat on a couch and took a drink from a juice box.
The Doctor lay on the ground, panting. Dinky replied in her place, “To look at my bedroom window, and will you please stop rubbing it in! And where's Mom?”
Pip stopped drinking, “Rubbing what in? Bow chicka bow wow. And she's over at Carrot's. Something about she needed help with something. I didn't pay much attention to the details.”
“I hate you,” Dinky said, smiling anyway at his dirty joke, "Rubbing in the fact that my Mom didn't make you work!”
Pip turned on his side, “Well, maybe I’m just too sexy to work.”
“Shut up!” Dinky laughed and threw a nearby pillow at him, which he blocked with a hoof.
“Alright!” The Doctor was suddenly standing and bounced around the room until she stood in front of Dinky, “Where is your bedroom?”
“Bow chicka bow wow.” Pip said quietly.
“Shut up!” Dinky threw another pillow at him, “It’s on the third floor. Follow me.” She waved her hoof to follow as she trotted up the second flight of stairs.
“Stairs will be my next greatest nemesis!” The Doctor said as she ascended the devil’s creation, and Pipsqueak followed.
They entered the room, Dinky in front.
She gasped as she stood in the doorway.
“What?” The Doctor asked, and tried to look over Dinky’s shoulder.
“My window is gone!” Dinky ran across the room, which was littered with papers and other trash, and looked along the far wall, rubbing it with her hooves.
“There is no window?” The Doctor said disappointed, “Now I’ll never get an adventure to test this body out first!” She turned to look at her flank.
“I don’t understand!” Dinky frantically scratched at the wall with her hooves, “It can’t just disappear! I know Mom didn’t do it! She would have cleaned my room, or asked me to do it when I got home!” She thought out loud.
“Aliens?” Pip suggested.
“No! It can’t be! Aliens don’t exist!” She continued to search the wall, as if hoping she was just hallucinating.
“Well, you have a pony who claims to be an alien in your room right now.” He pointed to the Doctor.
“We don’t even know if that’s true! For all we know, she’s just as insane as my mother!” Dinky turned to face Pip.
“Well, she literally appeared in my living room, along with a giant blue box, which in no way could have been carried in there! All evidence points to her being an alien!” Pip pointed once again, “Right, Doctor?”
…
“Doctor?” Pip turned to the mare.
She stood there looking her body over, and taking long glances at her flank.
“Doctor?”
She continued to examine herself.
“Doctor!”
“What?” The blue mare looked away from herself, her expression blank, showing absolutely no emotion what-so-ever.
“Where is her window?” Pip asked simply.
“Oh, uh,” the Doctor turned back to herself and murmured, loud enough so they could hear, “Dimensional change. Someone took your window because they knew we were coming.” She continued to stare blankly.
“Wait, somepony just pulled my window out, and a wall grew?” Dinky asked surprised.
The Doctor nodded.
“What are you doing?” Pip asked, curious as to why the Doctor had suddenly stopped caring about the window.
“My body.”
“What about it.”
”I’m a girl.”
“Yeah, what about it?” Dinky asked.
“I’m hot.”
Dinky scrunched her face in a sort of disgust, “What?”
“I’m a girl. I am a hot girl.” She continued to examine herself with a blank expression. She then started to spin, as if chasing her tail, slowly.
“What about my window?” Dinky asked, tilting her head to the side, though her face was still riddled with disgust.
The Doctor’s eyes grew wide, and she looked back to Dinky, “What am I doing! I should be figuring out what happened to your window!”
“You did.” Pip stated blankly.
“I did?”
“You already did. You said that the dimension changed, and that something took her window because it knew we were coming.” Pip replied, motioning his head toward the 'window'.
“Did I?” The Doctor said, surprised, “Well, I need to remember what I figure out more often!” She trotted to the wall that was once apparently a window, and began to examine it, “Yes, there was definitely a window here, the hole is still there, but a wall is slid into place,” The Doctor pushed on the wall, and a small chunk, though large enough for a pony to fit through, fell to the ground on the other side. But the ground was a meter down, “Ah, a portal! I love portals! They’re so… moving!” The unicorn dove through the hole in the wall, leaving the other two ponies with their jaws on the floor. She peeked her head back in a moment later, “Come on! What are you waiting for? Jump in!” She said excitedly.
“The-” Dinky began, “The ground is right there!”
“Yes?” the Doctor said, smiling widely.
“...We’re on the third floor!” Pip replied after Dinky did not answer.
“Correction! You’re on the third floor. I’m somewhere completely different!” She smiled widely, “Brilliant, isn't it?”
Dinky continued to stare, while Pip asked a question, “You want us to go through a portal to another part of Equestria?”
“It could be a different world, mind you.” She stated matter-of-fact-ly.
“Are you insane?!” Dinky yelled, “We don’t even know where it is!” She stood on her front legs, lifting her flank into the air, her eyes bulging.
“That’s the best part of it!” the Doctor replied, turning her head to the side, keeping one eye on Dinky, the walked out of the feild of view from the window.
Dinky turned to her boyfriend, “Come on! You agree with me, right?”
“Dinky,” Pip said, “Life is short, and dull,” He turned to look at Dinky, “Why not make the most of it?” Pip galloped and jumped through the hole.
“Pip!” Dinky called after her boyfriend, “Don’t leave me here alone!” There was no reply, as the Doctor and Pip had run off.
“You are so going to get it!” Dinky jumped through the hole in her wall, embracing the danger and possibilities of this new world.
“Welcome, Dinky, my dear, to the world of adventure!” The Doctor proclaimed as Dinky stared off at the distant land.
She stared at the trees, plants, and animals she could never have even dreamed about.
And some part of her loved it…
The other part wanted to scream in terror...
Let me know what you think about this chapter!
Uhm, right. I still feel sad about Ditzy...dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Derpy_Hooves.png
Good chapter the doctor is still funny as a mare....a hot mare apparently.
1236361
1236375 you basically made the doctor into a self centered pony and a staryotipical pony who calls herself hot?
bow chica bow wow xD love the refrences and the fact the doctor is turned on by his new body xDDD overall a good update plenty of laughs but ya still sad about ditzy >w< keep up the good story :D
I'm loving this story. You can write a Doctor really, really well.
1236411 And that's only because I finished watching it like, a week ago.
Very excellent.
Good luck on!
1236440 And one that nopony expects.
At all.
I bet you, if one hundred people guessed, they could not guess where the future chapters will end up!
(It will be a long fic, kind of like the show, a few extra adventures, but mainly in this area.)
The doctor is checking out his own body, he is going to become a narcissist
i love that reference to Sarah Jane Smith
Pip + Tucker = Brilliant!
And when is more?
Brilliant! I cannot wait to get more!
You know what's really weird? When I saw this had updated, I was listening to Chameleon Circuit. Also, Dinosaurs on a Spaceship tomorrow!
... WOW... This is great. PLEASE don't keep us waiting!
I just became a whovian, so i can now do this:
What an ood adventure...
but a good one!
oh and the lines: "What are you doing?” Pip asked, curious as to why the Doctor had suddenly stopped caring about the window.
“My body.”
“What about it.”
”I’m a girl.”
“Yeah, what about it?” Dinky asked.
“I’m hot.”
Dinky scrunched her face in a sort of disgust, “What?”
“I’m a girl. I am a hot girl.” She continued to examine herself with a blank expression."
1236540 More is when it comes! Bow chicka bow wow.
1236854 Bow chicka bow wow.
Wow, I predicted this story updating last night. I'm gooood.
1236327 Hey for all we know, Ditzy could of witnessed the trio going through the portal.
1237130 BUT DID SHE?!?!?!?!?
"I didn't know we had quests!" Derp.
Also I'm still new here so uh..Do you know why I didn't know there was another chapter?
1237186 iunno
I love this chapter! I was a little confused about ditzy, and where she was through the story. Did she go through the portal already, or was she still in the house? And what about the chairs? I still really think this story is a good idea, but it needs a few extra details. Keep up the good work!!!!!!
1236876
1236484 angels? Master? Daleks? Vashta narada? What will happen???
1237275 Thanks for the info! I'll try to fix it as well as I can!
Tucker would be proud of you Pip
"I'm a girl. I'm a hot girl."
LOL
I want MOAR!
THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!
1237285
. It even sounds like something a doctor would say!
And now for somewhere completely different.
Anyway, this seems like a fun story. I'll keep reading it.
1145579
Allow me to advise against that in the strongest possible terms. You have an interesting idea here, but the hasty execution means that it feels both rushed and clunky--the first chapter had enough issues with telling rather than showing that I stopped reading it halfway through.
Simply put: SLOW DOWN. You don't have to release a new chapter every day by any stretch, and trying to do so is folly. Take the time to really flesh out each chapter and make it worth our time as readers.
1/5 stars, and I respectfully decline to track this story.
1237327 Yay! A person who actually doesn't like this story!
Also, the reason I try to update so often is the fact that I have WAY too much free time.
Being fourteen has it's Privileges!
I was unsure about this story, but the second chapter cinched it. It looks good so far.
1237147 e621.net/data/c1/62/c1629caa09c7d5d8f10abad227815aab.jpg?1302245121
You're the author, you tell us. And now that I have you, you must comply.
NOW TELL US THE TRUTH OR YOU SHALL SUFFER THE WRATH OF OUR ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE!
1237365
I'm glad you're able to take a dissonant opinion with a grain of salt. Upvotes are always nice, but one can never improve if one's flaws are not laid bare.
I advise you to use that freetime to add more polish and body to your chapters, rather than simply releasing chapters rapidfire. Plan out your story, or at least your chapters, in detail--go through them, get a rough draft, and then take a break for an hour or a day, come back to it, look over it again and ask, 'What can I do to make this better?' If you find issues, great--fix them. If you can't send it to proofreaders, or better yet the people on /fic/ for a review. (They're amazing at what they do, trust me.) Once that's done, go back and make the revisions you need to and then go ahead and submit.
That's my process, anyway. Whether or not it'll work for you remains to be seen, but I do offer it up as a way to help you improve. Best of luck to you on your various projects!
C-K
1237380 NO! BECAUSE I HAD TO CHANGE IT DUE TO SOME CONFUSION FROM THE READERS! SHE WENT TO CARROT TOP'S! TO 'help her' WITH SOMETHING! I DON'T KNOW WHAT, AND I WON'T BE IMPORTANT! ALL CAPS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
1236503
Hey, women (mares, in this case) are allowed to do that. Now men? We flex our muscles and instantly get labeled 'egotistical' :|.
1237423
fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/117/e/f/rainbow_dash_salute_by_atomicgreymon-d3bo0dx.png
I salute you good sir.
HOLY FRICKIN' BALLS THATS BIG!
1237425 ...
*Snap fingers*
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnr70mEf4Z1qjr62mo1_500.jpg
Are you absolutely sure you aren't tricking us with some sort of changling?
1237445 Plus It's a guy... in a mare's body...
WOULDN'T YOU DO THE SAME??!?!?!?
1237453 Yeah? I'm pretty sure.
I will eat a bagel.
cdn.overclock.net/e/e9/e9a91572_spit_coffee_Wut-s576x416-126987-580.png
I just had a brilliant idea.
And I have no idea if anyone will like it or not.
Shall I spoil? Let me know if I shall, and I will tell you my idea.
1237525 AS A FELLOW AUTHOR (and reader of yours)!
t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQzvEa6gQGQE_R0oL7LW-PO_bfOhULKiLmX7Am_3bt_qhOW4Rg_fPB-qEGDBA
I must know.
1237561 Actually, I KNOW some will hate it.
But some might not care.
Dragons.
Spyro.
Nuff' said.
(1-3 spyro. I didn't play the rest because they sucked.)
1237561 Also dat Gummy has the creepiest eyes ever.
Ah! Yes! I only just started reading this new chapter, but it's already better than earlier, more descriptive and the like! Gonna finish reading, with haste, but I hope my comment from earlier helped.
Also, I'm probably going to write another thing once I'm done reading this chapter. Just cause it's fun.
EDIT: Okay, yes! That was a great chapter! I got a much better feel for each character's personality, this time around, with Dinky being cautious, Pip, being lax, and the Doctor being excitable. The flow of dialogue felt much more natural, this time around, and the scenery was slightly more vivid, as well. The overall conveyance of ideas was so much more streamlined. Aside from a few punctuation and capitalization errors, you're on a good track!
Something I particularly liked was how it had originally seemed that Dinky believed the doctor, right away, but this chapter made it out to be more of a shadow of a doubt, hanging loosely on the claims of her mother. And once the Doctor's legitimacy is put into question, she begins to vocalize her doubts as well as question the placement of her trust. And then that's cut short by the Doctor being awesome.
I do like Pip's position in this, acting as a mediator between the Doctor's explosive personality and Dinky's cautiousness. Of course, I'd expect this to change as everyone becomes more buddy-buddy and Dinky inevitably becomes a bad-ass action girl, but for now, Pip's lax nature is a great way of bridging the gap between the other two characters.
Also, the Doctor is pretty hilarious.
1237573 Dude, I write Luna Plays. I can't hate that kind of stuff. Do it!
1237603 Oh, holy crap, it's you! Luna plays is sweet!