• Published 28th Nov 2021
  • 3,320 Views, 24 Comments

There Is Nothing New Under the Sun - Reviewfilly



Over a cup of tea, the Princess of the Sun warns her former student about the dark side of having so much power.

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...Or Is There?

It was early in the afternoon as most ponies went about their daily business in the bustling city of Canterlot. Others merely basked in the sunlight, the ultimate display of their rulers’ mastery over the world. For thousands of years now, the Sun and the Moon only rose because the princesses willed so. Across Equestria, even in the most remote towns, anypony could just look up and know they too are part of something greater, guided by benevolent and nigh omnipotent leaders.

Though, at the moment, instead of guiding the celestial bodies or watching over the nations’ many problems, one of these powerful creatures was preoccupied with something much more mundane. Deep in the palace gardens, hidden from the uncountable amount of decisions and issues of the world that would undoubtedly assault her once more when she left, Princess Celestia was making tea. Boiling water was an easy spell, even for lesser unicorns, so by all means the princess could have finished the whole procedure with less than a flick of her horn. Yet, here she was, carefully measuring the ingredients and slowly raising the temperature, until the water was just hot enough for the flavors to manifest in a way that hit the spot perfectly.

Suddenly Celestia’s ears perked up, as she heard the clopping of hooves behind her. Without saying a word or even turning around, she continued to pay attention to the small kettle in front of her. The trotting slowed down and eventually came to an awkward halt. For a moment neither of them said anything.

“Princess,” said Twilight, finally breaking the silence. “I came as soon as I could. Is there a problem? Do I need to do something for you?”

The tiny kettle whistled cheerfully, which signalled to the princess that it was about time to pour the water. Using her magic, she gracefully placed two cups in front of her and filled them almost to the brim with black tea. The brew’s scent was faint, yet quite pleasant. With a small and satisfied nod, Celestia finally turned around to greet her student.

“It is very nice to see you, Twilight. Please be at ease. I just want to spend some time with my most faithful former student,” she said with a smile and levitated a cup to Twilight, who took it into her own magic.

The princess grabbed two pillows and set them on the ground. She beckoned Twilight before sitting on one.

The two mares sat next to each other in silence. The princess stirred her tea idly, while Twilight watched the beautiful garden in front of them. Her mentor had always paid special attention to this corner of the castle and it really showed. Flowers from all around the kingdom bloomed around them, showcasing the many colors and varieties Equestria was blessed with. A few finely groomed trees and carefully mowed trails of lawn broke up their massive patches, which gave the garden an appearance that both felt natural and befit a princess. As Twilight was about to ask her why she wanted to meet alone, Celestia suddenly sipped her tea, which, to Twilight’s horror, was still almost boiling hot.

“Princess!” she gasped. “Are you alright?”

“Whatever do you mean, Twilight?” she asked innocently, through her sly smirk implied she very much understood.

“The tea... did it not burn you?” The lavender alicorn’s voice was brimming with worry and confusion.

To her surprise, Celestia began laughing. It was a gentle, yet playful laugh, which quickly died down.

“Ah, forgive me,” she said apologetically. “I just really wanted to pull this trick on somepony once.”

Twilight’s expression quickly changed between several emotions. Relief, an annoyed frown and then finally wonder.

“Was it an illusion? Do you know a spell that can teleport liquids without the usual flash of light?” Twilight furrowed her brows in thought, then her eyes shone up again. “Did you invent a new spell to make yourself fireproof? Imagine if we could teach that to fireponies!” She could barely contain her excitement at the possibility of learning a new spell.

The white alicorn just laughed again, but this time she didn’t sound nearly as joyful as before.

“Oh, Twilight. This is why I’ve chosen you as my student and this is why Luna and I decided to make you a princess. Even now, you’re not mad at me, despite the fact that my joke came at your expense. Instead it only made you motivated to learn for the benefit of your future subjects.” She looked away. “Sadly, however, my answer is both much simpler and much more complicated than what you’re expecting. It is also the real reason why I called you here today. I didn’t cast any spells. Insignificant temperatures like this merely have no effect on me.”

“I... don’t understand. Do you mean us, Alicorns, cannot get burned?” Twilight asked and tentatively sipped her own tea. The hot liquid promptly singed the top of her tongue, causing her to yelp and quickly yank the cup away from her mouth. “Evidently not,” she croaked with a frown.

“No. This is something that goes beyond mere alicornhood.” Celestia shook her head. “What do you think about ants?”

“Ants?” The question’s suddenness took Twilight by surprise. “Umm, I’m not sure. I’m not really a big fan of insects.”

“Let me be a bit more precise. How do you feel if you accidentally step on one?”

“Bad, of course. Even if it is such a tiny creature, it didn’t deserve having its life taken away.”

“But do you really grieve for it? Or do you merely just feel bad?”

“Well, I get over it pretty quickly, of course. It is just an ant after all.”

Celestia sipped from her cup again and twirled the liquid inside her mouth for a few seconds before she continued. She spoke matter-of-factly, without the slightest hint of humor in her voice.

“That is how I used to feel about ponies.”

“What?” Twilight couldn’t believe her ears. How could her mentor, who’s beloved by tens of thousands say such a thing. Before she could ask her to clarify though, Celestia spoke again.

“Luna and I weren’t always like you see us now. Have you never really considered it odd, how we have so many celebrations, yet not a single one about the founding of the diarchy? Hearth’s Warming Eve celebrates the foundation of Equestria, yes. The Summer Sun Celebration honors us as the masters of Sun and the Moon. Yet you never-ever hear about how and when Equestria came to be ruled by us, do you?”

Twilight squinted her eyes as she recounted every single historical book she read. She could recall numerous legends about the deeds of the princesses and even more valiant battles and negotiations that ensued the survival of the nation, yet it was as Celestia said. She couldn’t remember a single mention of the kingdom’s roots. Seeing the realization dawn on her face, the princess continued.

“After we came into existence, my sister and I travelled all over the world in search for meaning and, admittedly, fun. We fought creatures your mind couldn’t even comprehend and saw the founding and death of many civilizations, but nothing could really satisfy us. Eventually we grew bored of our travels and that’s when we stumbled upon the ponies. They were a trifling nation. Poor, ill and so insignificant that the question was less about if they would fall and more about simply when. Seeing their pathetic way of life, Luna and I came up with a new game to play. It started as a joke, really. We decided to become queens of this anthill and we would stop at nothing to raise it to heights they could never even dream of.”

Twilight recoiled from the unexpected words out of the princess’ mouth. Still, she had to make sure this wasn’t merely a misunderstanding. Deep down, she hoped it was.

“So you helped them?” she asked. Her voice was flat.

Celestia closed her eyes and sighed.

Twilight suddenly noticed that the air suddenly became far warmer than before and as she looked at Celestia, her mentor’s body began to shine brighter and brighter. Twilight had to put a hoof in front of her eyes, just to be able to tolerate the brightness. Then, as quickly as it came, the blinding light died down and Twilight slowly lowered her hoof. Sitting beside her wasn’t the same alicorn anymore.

Her mane and tail - those gentle, ethereal rivers of pastel colors - were now trails of fire, which aggressively lashed towards the skies. Her simple, golden regalia was replaced with the finely crafted armor of a conqueror. Her eyes, which were like two deep, calm, pink ponds, became miniature suns, burning with a piercing, orange flame. Her pillow ignited below her and the grass around her withered and died from the sweltering heat.

“No,” she said calmly. “We subjugated them,”

Twilight dropped her cup, which broke to pieces with a loud crack, and jumped up. She ignited her horn and raised it against the creature who now sat in front of her.

“Who are you? What did you do to my teacher?” she yelled.

“Twilight,” the flaming equine said quietly. “I am your teacher.”

Twilight took a step backwards, still training her horn on her. She did not fire.

“But... I don’t understand. You cannot be the princes, she would never say such things! Why did you become like this?” Twilight almost chocked on her words as tears streamed from her eyes. The nightmarish alicorn turned to face her fully and flashed a toothy grin at her.

“Become? You are mistaken. I am merely showing you my true form.” The being laughed with a voice that emanated malice and great power. “Are you perhaps scared of my appearance? Or maybe the fact that your perfect princess isn’t so perfect after all?”

Twilight’s mind blanked out. She was looking for words she couldn’t find. She felt like the mare’s orange eyes bore deeply into her soul.

“Who are you?” was all she finally managed to utter.

“Why I am your dear Princess Celestia, of course!” replied the other with mocking innocence. “But before I took on that name, I was known as Queen Daybreaker. Nightmare Moon and I ruled over the ponies for centuries with an iron hoof. Through our efforts and their sacrifice, we raised Canterlot, expanded our territories and elevated them from the mud. We put Equestria on the map.” Her voice brimmed with pride. “Many died of course, but even more of our enemies. The surrounding nations learned well just what it meant to face the unmatched power of the Sun.” She said with a smug grin. “Especially those nosy Changelings! Too bad a few of them survived in that damp pit of theirs.” She laughed again. “You should’ve seen what the Badlands originally looked like. What a beautiful oasis... but nothing a few thousand degrees can’t handle.”

“You’re a monster,” Twilight whispered.

“I will have you correct that,” the queen said with a scoff, though her voice lost most of its edge. “I was a monster. What I’m showing you right now is myself at my worst.”

She held a hoof out and pointed around herself in a sweeping motion. “You may have noticed that things are quite different nowadays.” She then continued in a less boisterous voice.

“Eventually we couldn’t help ourselves, but see our little ponies as more than playthings. I guess this is where that ant analogy breaks down.” She chuckled a little. “Unlike an insect, ponies were capable of melting even our hearts eventually. Not only did they toil valiantly even though we knew no mercy, they also constantly surprised us with their kind spirits and hope, even in the face of our absolute terror. It happened far later than I’m happy to admit, but we finally began to understand and appreciate just how much they were capable of, if only they weren’t squashed under our hooves.” She sighed and looked at one of her armor-plated hooves.

“Once we were certain that Equestria would last, we began the slow process of reforming everything.” As Daybreaker spoke, her voice slowly became softer and softer and her flames started to burn in different colors. “We threw away our original forms and adopted ones that the ponies wouldn’t be afraid of anymore.” The fire turned into strands of mane, which hung in the air, then slowly began their ethereal flow. “We abolished the many cruel laws we ourselves put in place.” The intensity of her eyes faded and patches of pink mixed into the orange. “And, once everything else was set into motion, we finally relied on the one thing we always had a limitless supply of: Time.” The princess once again looked like she always has. “I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying. It heals all wounds.”

She ignited her horn and the grass around her sprang back into life. The pillow too, which by this point was nothing more than a pile of ash, suddenly morphed back to its original form. If anypony arrived now and looked at the princess, they could easily have believed that nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Twilight, however, could hardly stand straight. She felt like she had been hit by a train.

“Is what you’re saying really true, Princess?” Twilight asked in disbelief.

“I’m afraid it is.” Her mentor stared at the ground.

“Why did you tell me all this?” Twilight’s voice rose quickly from a whisper into a scream. “Why couldn’t I have lived on without this knowledge?”

“As a lesson and as a warning,” Celestia replied quietly as she forced herself to look at her former student. “Eventually you will inherit much of our power and all our responsibilities. Perhaps not tomorrow, nor in the next few years, but it will happen.

“Until then we might be able to help you learn the ropes, and your friends will surely be there to guide your heart for a while; but for one reason or another, eventually there will come a time, when you will stand alone.” She paused for a moment and looked deeply into her pupil’s eyes. They still glistened from tears. “And when that moment comes, you will need to find your own balance in leading this kingdom. Ruling is not unlike the Sun itself: If you encroach on the ponies’ life, they will suffer from your power. But, if you become too distant, they will inevitably lose their direction in the dark.

“Even with all the policies and lawmaking, you will be the absolute ruler of this kingdom. If you truly want something, not a single soul in Equestria, no, the whole world, will be able to say no to you. They won’t stand a chance. If you aren’t careful and your self-control slips, you might begin appreciating how we used to do things back then. After all, it was all so simple: no politics, no silly nobles, who scheme for their own benefit or act with incompetence. When we ordered something, it happened. Because if it didn’t, someone would have swiftly lost their head.

“Such control and certainty is intoxicating. Especially if you can justify it by claiming you’re doing it for the greater good. Yet, if you ever step on this path, you will become what we used to be. A queen, perhaps, but one that merely rules over an anthill.”

“But then why would you even give me all this power?”

“Multiple reasons, but the main one is because we are tired. Remember, to us this all started as nothing more than a game. We raised quite a nice kingdom, I admit, but we were never meant to be chained down for so long. We atoned for our sins by leading ponykind into prosperity for thousands of years, but now Luna and I both long for our freedom once more.”

Twilight took a deep breath and sat down again. She wiped her tears away. Even though the Sun still shone as warmly as ever, she shuddered.

Moments passed. Eventually Twilight spoke up.

“Princess?”

“Yes, Twilight?”

“Do you regret what you did back then?”

Celestia didn’t reply immediately. After taking a deep breath and shrugging a little, she replied.

“Every single day. I could say we merely acted out of our nature or that we did not know better, but that is no excuse.” She hung her head and looked away. “We were monsters, just like you said.”

She chuckled bitterly.

“Even just pretending to be my old self again made me feel great pain. Still, I’m more than happy to bear such discomfort for a moment, if it helps you understand the full weight of my words.”

Hearing this eased Twilight’s aching heart a little, but one single question still remained.

“What will happen if I become a monster?”

To her surprise, the princess smiled at her. It was a gentle and warm smile, without the slightest hint of worry.

“This is the second reason we are confident in giving you our power. Anypony can get corrupted if they have too much, but you have proven again and again that you only want to use it for the benefit of others. Sure, your journey wasn’t without its own obstacles and setbacks, but you have persevered and now you’re here. After all, you and your friends were even able to snap my sister out of her attempts at returning to the old ways.” Celestia intended this as half-joke, but Twilight didn’t smile.

“Are you two going to become mortals once I have become the ruler?”

Celestia laughed.

“You do not have to worry about that. You merely inherit a piece of our full potential. When the time comes, we will return to our old ways of travel, but we will neither perish, nor forget about you.”

Hearing these words, Twilight broke down again.

“Princess, I’m terrified,” she sobbed, her words hardly comprehensible through her ragged breaths. “I don’t want you to leave! I’m not ready yet!”

To Twilight’s surprise she felt a wing drape over her as Celestia pulled her closer to herself. The princess’ body was warm, but nowhere near as hot as before. Twilight slowly stopped shuddering and leaned into the comforting warmness.

“Oh, Twilight, how could we leave you right now?” she said softly. “Such matters will not even be discussed again, not until you are fully prepared. And even when we eventually have to leave, it will not be a goodbye forever.” The princess’ sly smile returned. “We will return to visit and compare notes from time to time.”

Twilight couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. Though her tears have stopped flowing, her mind was still racing from the revelations she was given. Her entire world flipped upside-down today, yet the birds were still chirping and the flowers were still blooming. She knew that even if it was going to take her a long while to properly process all this, time would heal these wounds too. And in time, she would be ready not to repeat her mentor’s mistakes.

“Now then,” the princess spoke again. “How about we have a proper cup of tea?”

It continued to be a warm day, but to ponies all over the kingdom, the Sun seemed just a bit more pleasant than usual.

Author's Note:

This story was inspired by a comment I've read. OP mentioned how he thought the "Nightmare" form of both princesses were their real forms and the ones we are used to are just them restraining themselves. I liked the idea so much that I had to write a story about it.

Comments ( 24 )

Very nice!:raritywink:

Absolutely love this interpretation, I think I'm going to run with it as my headcanon for now.

I really think you should write more, whether it’s of this story or more of your ideas in general. You have a really solid grasp of writing for only posting your second story, and the way you incorporate body language is something many new authors forget. There weren’t any notable grammar hiccups in the story either, though I’d recommend using a title capitalizer in the future until you get the knack for proper title capitalization. I really liked your idea and the history you set up behind it. The seriousness it was approached from shows you know a thing or two about how to effectively create an ominous tone.

That said, your story isn’t without some weaknesses. Conversation stories are plentiful on this site (I’ve written a few myself) and what’s central to balancing them is pacing. Your pacing was strongest at the start, rushed in the middle, and a decent save at the end. You shouldn’t be too eager to wrap these things up when part of getting your story to sink its teeth into the reader is crafting a disturbing psychological dynamic, something that comes from steadily spending more time with these ideas and characters. If you want, I could recommend a few stories that handle the central delivery of conversation well. The other two aspects of your story I felt could use improvement were how of Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon are the true selves, we get very little glimpse into how this recontextualizes things outside of how Daybreaker/Celestia feels when events like the banishment of Nightmare Moon are thrust into a new light in your AU. Stretching into more headcanon-y territory, I’d like to see some more of the origin and early years of these two. How is it two beings were so malicious even from youth?

Lastly, I felt like the regret of Daybreaker was cliche and not necessarily a natural or interesting turn for your story. Twilight not embracing the Celestia facade just because Daybreaker wants to be Celestia and reject that she has done many unforgivable things, and having Twilight being burdened by knowledge are really compelling inclusions. Rushed, unjustly given, and forced forgiveness litter way too much of the stories on this site, even a few favorites of mine. Yet, shaping Daybreaker into this character who lives a lie and is somehow all boo-hoo about everything she’s done and hyper-empathetic despite still being every bit as threatening and cold feels artificial. While her relationship with Twilight is a genuine one of mentor and student, I think that this story would have stood out even more had she instead been given more unique characterization as too alien to ever really be understood by ponies (even Twilight) or understand these mortals and forever a threat on the horizon, or as somepony who very obviously has little in the way of empathy or healthy emotional expression/capacity and can only understand the wrongness of her actions on a logistical and emotionally detached basis. She’ll forever know that she fucked up, but will also never be able to feel that way or truly understand the heart of the matter.

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Thank you for your kind words. I honestly don't even understand why your comment is in the negatives, even if someone disagrees with what you're saying, your critique clearly comes from good faith.

There weren’t any notable grammar hiccups in the story either

Hahaha, that's only because of the excellent proofreading I've received.

I’d recommend using a title capitalizer

I didn't even know such things existed. I've looked it up and used one. Thanks!

The spoiler stuff

Your critique here is fair. Indeed, I was very much only focusing on the "big reveal" and the things you bring up could have been explored to great effect. I guess it just shows how new I am to this. The only thing I can't really agree with is making Daybreaker into an emotionally detached character. I admit it's fully personal preference and if anyone else wrote a fic like this, I'd probably enjoy it, but in this story I wanted her to be regretful, even if that came through more rushed than I was hoping for.

“The tea... did it not burn you?” The lavender alicorn’s voice was brimming with worry and confusion.

Uh-oh, someone didn't read the writing guide...

I joke. This is a very well constructed, well written, and well sized little story, and is a great job for what is more or less a first effort. I suppose the only thing I noticed is that some of the dialogue sort of reads as, I don't know, ESL-ish? It's correct, grammatically and logically, but perhaps unorthodox in word choice and construction. Then again, the majority of dialogue on this site written by native English speakers is incomprehensible nonsense, so there's that.

In any case, great work, and I'd be happy to see more!

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I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I don't know, ESL-ish?

Considering English is my second (or technically third, because I began learning German earlier) language, that can very easily be the case.
If it's not too much trouble, I'd be curious which sentences felt off to you. It'd probably help me improve.

In any case, great work, and I'd be happy to see more!

We will see. Sadly I'm not some fic-writing machine and even this fic was the result of some very lucky timing of me reading another story that left a lot to be desired and the comment I mention at the end of the story.

We atoned for our sins by leading ponykind into prosperity for thousands of years, but now Luna and I both long for our freedom once more.”

“You do not have to worry about that. You merely inherit a piece of our full potential. When the time comes, we will return to our old ways of travel, but we will neither perish, nor forget about you.”

Yeah those are red flags for Twilight
If they literally will return to old ways of being traveling monsters she should ready the elements to imprison them .

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I use this one when I have a title where I'm not sure what rules of grammar apply. The writing guide is also incredibly useful for various tidbits and I know it had helpful resources for when I started out writing. One for tags and the site rules also exist. I'd also suggest adding your stories to a bunch of groups to help it travel around the site, and to stay across it. You can adjust notification settings on each group page.

I honestly don't even understand why your comment is in the negatives, even if someone disagrees with what you're saying, your critique clearly comes from good faith.

Either someone disagreed with what I said or they disagreed that I was the one to say it. I wouldn't be too worried about it. Comments aren't impacted by votes like stories, and I doubt any attempt to use them to target you or me is being done. Downvotes from vague places are basically a currency on the site. If you think people are targeting your stories in some way, that's when you can ask the mods via PM or through the discord server/channels for help. I hope that whoever was downvoting me didn't downvote your story too, since that'd be shitty of them.


Your critique here is fair. Indeed, I was very much only focusing on the "big reveal" and the things you bring up could have been explored to great effect. I guess it just shows how new I am to this.

I PMd you a list of stories that revolve around the vehicle of a conversation because the suggestion list got so big.

The only thing I can't really agree with is making Daybreaker into an emotionally detached character. I admit it's fully personal preference and if anyone else wrote a fic like this, I'd probably enjoy it, but in this story I wanted her to be regretful, even if that came through more rushed than I was hoping for.

Perhaps that was the case, though I'm just a sucker for unexpected twists and unrelatable characters (more in the sense that they're developed and written without the intent of anyone in the audience relating to them, though sympathizing is a whole other matter). I'm also not sure if detached was wholly the right word to use, just that she didn't feel bad for what she had done (either from an empathy deficit angle or something else, you're the writer) even if she knew it was. Having to work under someone who has that kind of everpresent, ruthless angle to them offers a lot of potential not just for a shift in relationship dynamic you could use in a continuation (should you ever want that) but it makes for a deliciously compelling usage of the dark tag. I hope that explains why I brought it up a little more, not just for the sake of Daybreaker and not losing her under the Celestia-as-a-facade here, but to really emphasize both the facade and how Twilight would feel about her mentor. Sweet, sweet hints of psychological horror are hard to find done well, and you have the beginnings of a promising time in ponyfic ahead of you. If you wanted an example of what I meant by a more alien portrayal, this is a story that embodies a lot of what I was talking about.

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The writing guide is also incredibly useful for various tidbits and I know it had helpful resources for when I started out writing.

Ah yes, I went over this several times before I even started writing. It's an excellent guide, it answered questions I didn't even know I wanted to ask.
I also read that tag and rule list as well. It would've been quite the blunder to be banned for some stupid technicality before I even began posting.
Still, thanks for being so welcoming, I appreciate the help.

Spoiler

Yeah I understand what you mean and frankly, your idea is excellent. I'm not really sure yet how to proceed from here (mostly because I didn't expect the fic to do so well in the first place), but from a reviewer viewpoint, which is something I'm far better at than writing, I can't find a single fault in it. I'll give that story a read when I find the time, if it is as good as you say I'm sure it'll be nice review material as well :twilightsmile:

(Haven't read the story yet, just based on the description.)
CELESTIA: There are dark forces you will have no choice but to deal if you want to rule, my student.
TWILIGHT: You mean dark magic?
CELESTIA: Tax code.

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Ah yes, I went over this several times before I even started writing. It's an excellent guide, it answered questions I didn't even know I wanted to ask.
I also read that tag and rule list as well. It would've been quite the blunder to be banned for some stupid technicality before I even began posting.

Awesome! I'm used to linking them around a lot, but it's pretty e🅱ic to see that someone already did their homework. I look forward to seeing more from you!

Yeah I understand what you mean and frankly, your idea is excellent.

Aww jeez, thanks! I just wanted to make sure that we were on the same page because I went back over my comment and was thinking there was probably a way for me to have been clearer.

One way to get ideas is to just write what you want to see in stories that don't appear enough for your liking, at all, or to simply write an expanded version of how you wish something might have been explored based on a larger fandom trope or something. Using picture prompts to practice your writing and idea development are also great ways to work on brainstorming and forcing yourself to tackle new genres and ideas.

I like your story. Nopony should be ashamed by how they write. If you want a trick,: add love to your writing. Not literaly.

Time wounds all heels.

I'm not sure what I expected.

To preface, I should say that I'm typically not a huge fan of either Daybreaker or the idea of the Sisters 'retiring'.

I say this, because it puts in context the fact that I think this story actually made them work. They don't feel like things that 'just are there', but rather play key roles in the larger narrative, and present good reasons for her to raise this topic to Twilight in the future. I do, actually, get a sense of Celestia's actual emotions and motivation, and it also ticks the "Nightmare is just Luna with her morals cast aside" box I favor. Even the Sisters eventually handing over power to Twilight is recast in a far more understandable light, and let me say it is remarkable that you manage to build something decent out of that particular story note. The core concept here is a really strong; the idea that the "evil superpowered side" is the 'corruption' is a very common one in the fandom, but this turns it around: What if everyone had, at their heart, the power to be evil, and it's the self-control that keeps characters on the size of good? What if *goodness* was what changed them?

If I were to critique this, I would say that it suffers from two weak points, which are closely related: The first is pacing. Some moments just go a little faster or slower than needed. The second is that there are a couple things which seem... unfulfilled? Unexplored? Daybreaker's regret, someone has already mentioned; another might be why Twilight doesn't bring up Luna's fall to Nightmare or their sudden wanderlust. These feel like things that should be discussed, and I'm sorry they weren't. (A minor quibble is that you might want to... I'm not sure how to suggest this, but inflect the dialogue a little more? Try saying the words aloud and see if they feel 'natural'.

All in all, though: +1 from me. Definitely a really strong fic with some superb ideas at their core.

Ooh, fun fanfic to read. Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon being their true selves really gets the imagination going. Favorite part has gotta be when Twilight immediately gets battle ready when Daybreaker drops her disguise.

Does anyone realize that Daybreaker was spawned from Starlight's mind, and not Celestia's?

She came about from STARLIGHT'S nightmare about being unable to solve the Sisters' problems in the episode, as did the version of Nightmare Moon in the episode.

I don't think people realize that. Even though I thought the episode "A Royal Problem" was dumb, I DO remember the plot very well.

STARLIGHT is the one who has a severe weakness to misusing power... as should be pretty obvious from practically every episode she features in.

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I'm sure everyone forgets that happened. Though now that I think about it, a fic with Starlight and Celestia getting into a dream, Starlight pulling Daybreaker into the dream, and then Celestia bringing her 'true' darker form (I think people back before A Royal Problem called her 'Solar Flare'?) into the dream, just to talk, sounds rather interesting.

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I think its the part where celestia says "Never again" when daybreaker says she will become her

A bit edgy, but still pretty good.

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She just said they wanted to travel again, like in the beginning, not that they were giving up the morals and goodness that had become a part of them, and going back to murderhobo conquest.

RTK

wonderfully written, very good characterization

I can relate to this idea completely, had a similar one, and want to play around it in my own fic
Nicely written, very inspiring

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I've always thought that daybreaker was just the modern name she took that the darker side did actually look like that already but had no real name Starlight gave her the opportunity to give it a name

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