Friendship is Card Games: Tell Your Tale, Pt. 8 · 1:10pm Dec 4th, 2022
With the last of the 3D content covered, we reach the second layer of my backlog, all the Tell Your Tale shorts and comics that have come out in the interim. Like the tortoise ahead of Achilles, some of what I’ll cover hasn’t even come out yet. Let’s start catching up.
I do love how Pipp is low-key the chemical engineer to Zipp’s mechanical. All in the name of cosmetology, yes, but there’s still a scientific streak running through that whole family. Makes me wonder what wonders and/or horrors Haven got up to in her youth. Maybe mad social science…
Ah. Should’ve waited for another second for the much more relevant link.
I get the feeling Pipp is still putting magic in her mixes. I’d say she should stop, but the algorithm knows no mercy and clearly demands new content. Especially something involving the ingredient of the moment, i.e. magic.
“I promised the Pippsqueaks a new product! Today!”
Yup. Got to stay relevant.
Nice touch with the mirror completely covered in various substances so Pipp doesn’t notice her beard.
Even nicer touch with Sunny’s knowing Pipp’s usual during her freakouts.
Signs of Sunny’s heritage peeking through: When stressed, go look at apples. And I do appreciate how she hesitates to broach the awkward subject; Sunny just doesn’t have much experience with friends. Certainly not other mares, and especially not anypony as concerned with their appearance as Pipp.
I wonder what Opaline thought of the random screaming bearded mare. She probably thinks Sunny’s found the scrying focus and is mocking her. That or she declared it beneath her notice.
Oh no. It doesn’t just wipe off. Pipp’s invented rainbow Rogaine.
Ah, spamming refresh as you await new content. I’ve been there.
“Maybe if you got to know the Pippsqueaks a little better, making products for them would be easier.”
This is an interesting idea, but it doesn’t work for an online luminary with the majority of the pony population following her posts. Of course, the setting can’t seem to decide if “the Pippsqueaks” constitutes a pan-Equestrian following or just this generation’s answer to the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
“You could even create something together!”
Yup, we’re definitely going with “Pipp’s dedicated following consists of three children” for this one.
I see Pipp’s idea of a disguise is the same as Rarity’s outfit for a day trip to Canterlot.
Of course Pipp has a pencil topper of her own head. Why wouldn’t she?
Calling a short aux cable a design flaw feels a bit disingenuous, but I can see this happening a lot with pegasi using devices designed before magic returned.
The eyeless Pipp standee at the sunglasses stand is several kinds of horrifying. As is Pipp popping out of nowhere and triggering an understandable “stranger danger” reaction from the fillies.
I see the average pony’s ability to see through disguises hasn’t improved since the days of Plainity and Eyepatch.
The Pippsqueaks’ marks reacting to the group alchemy session is a very interesting data point. Is this what they’re meant to do, or does cooperation trigger the glow regardless?
“Unicorny morning breath” will absolutely become a Canternet meme in the next 24 hours. Poor Peach Fizz.
I’m a bit uncomfortable with Pipp deciding the best way to find inspiration is to stalk her underaged fans, but this was still one of the more enjoyable scenes I’ve seen with her.
Making a swing out of a desk lamp, a bucket, and a set of hoofcuffs is creative and all, but we’ve seen that Maretime Bay has a playground. If for whatever reason it doesn’t already have a toddler swing, Hitch apparently has the authority to have one installed.
Also, I can only assume that those cuffs were another fine Canterlogic product, rated for the worst pegasi and unicorns could offer according to the finest in hypothetical testing. (They put them on a crash test dummy and four hours later, they were still secure!)
Sparky was already wearing a helmet, Hitch. If he’s unsafe, that’s on you for not dragonproofing the station. (Granted, given transmutation breath, Sparky can hypothetically render any environment unsafe for himself or others.)
“No snacks!”
Hitch, that was everypony’s lunch. Also, that’s a very impressive paper shredder.
Sigh. It really is a shame what they’ve done with Hitch after the movie. I miss grounded, charismatic pony Javert. Not only has he been rendered a paranoid worrywart, he’s not even an effectual paranoid worrywart.
Ooh, Misty’s premiere in Tell Your Tale. And a noble attempt to render her mane in 2D. Makes me wonder if Pinkie’s would be similarly kinked in three dimensions.
Okay, I love the way Misty’s amulet snapped open, pupil dilating. Likely the same reaction as Opaline’s eyes the moment she heard “dragonfire.” The first step is admitting you have a problem.
The waggly butterfly pencil topper is a little bit tragic. Misty really wants to have that cutie mark. Or any other, but that’s the one she’s chosen.
“I’ll be the most powerful fire alicorn of all time!”
Doesn’t that raise some interesting questions? Was Celestia a fire alicorn? What of the other classical elements? Or is Opaline pulling this out of her rear end? After all, being the last physical alicorn means nopony can call you on your bullcrap.
“The station is dangerproofed from head to hoof.”
Hitch, we’re not even two minutes into this short and I can tell that’s patently false.
Okay, I admit, actually jingling keys to get Izzy away from the laser grid was funny.
Yeah, when your child can turn literally any object into a knife, trying to keep sharp objects out of reach is doomed to failure.
I have to assume this is taking place between Make Your Mark episodes, going by how Misty is only now seeing the capabilities of dragonfire. Also, it’s a good thing everypony is too distracted by Hitch and Sparky to hear the mare narrating to herself just outside the open window. Mind you, by this point Izzy has shown that a gentler hoof is the way to go with baby dragons, but that would require the characters to actually learn and grow. 
The allure of cotton candy is stronger than any can truly appreciate.
Again, Hitch’s overbearing parenting wouldn’t be so bad if he actually achieved what he set out to do. Makes me wonder how he was raised…
“Sunny, you, uh, just stand around until you find him!”
Credit where it’s due, Hitch knows a main character when he sees one. Aside from the likelihood of Sparky gravitating back to his snack hoard, the narrative may end up leading him to Sunny anyway.
I see Izzy has constructed a working dragon radar. Now she just needs to collect the seven Sparkies and…
Hang on, I seem to have drifted into a different franchise.
Being Misty is suffering. Classic Team Rocket Syndrome: She’s better at being good, but wants to be bad due to incredible loyalty to her superior. And karma lets her know what a bad idea that is every. Single. Day.
Surely that dragon with the luscious blond locks couldn’t be the one they’re looking for. (Shame on Jazz for somehow failing to notice him all that time, needs of the plot or no.)
Sunny! That’s not standing around and waiting at all!
The thought occurs that this is rehashing the events of “Have You Seen This Dragon?” but far more effectively. And this seems to predate that episode. The writers really have no idea what they’re doing, do they?
And then Misty almost died. Depends on whether or not there’s beach or ocean at the bottom of that cliff, but even the latter wouldn’t go too well.
I’m not sure which Hitch-proposed scenario concerns me more, Sparky getting baked into a pie or Sparky getting eaten by bees. That second one doesn’t work on a number of levels.
Izzy giving Hitch a distraction bunnicorn does nicely balance out the earlier jingling keys gag.
That is the most Canadian “sorry” I’ve heard in pony media.
Darn it, Sparky, Hitch was this close to actually relaxing.
Ah, now we’re getting into the more seasonal material. Also when the official MLP channel started uploading half-hour long TYT compilations that start with the newest short. Sorry, folks, I can’t control that bit.
In any case, while Hearth’s Warming has warped and mutated over the years, it appears that Nightmare Night is still going strong. I suppose with an alicorn at the center of the holiday, every tribe had something to fear and demonize. An ironic way to maintain a bit of cultural unity, but it worked. (I’d consider the possibility of Sunny unearthing and reviving an old holiday, but I’m skeptical there.)
Pipp apparently doubled down on her Great Gatsby chic for the occasion. Meanwhile, the Pippsqueaks demonstrate that Maretime Bay’s film industry has a Stanley Kubrick analogue somewhere in its history. And presumably a Stephen King among its novelists. (It could also be Zephyr Heights, but I definitely see King flourishing more in the earth ponies’ paranoia than the pegasi’s bread-and-circuses mentality.)
There’s something deeply ironic in royalty dressing up as Robin Hood. (Or maybe it’s Zipp’s favorite Marevel character.)
Randall truly is Trixie’s successor, with far less attachment to his own dignity.
… You know what? Hitch is doing his best. It’s not in his nature to disguise who he is.
I love Sunny’s historically accurate costume. I do wonder if she managed to dye her actual horn and wings or if she’s wearing prosthetics. Either way, she knows full well the reason for the season.
Also, I really want to know what Opaline thinks of this costume.
Izzy going as all of her friends is a delight. And her wings demonstrate that Sunny could well be using artificial ones herself.
Oh dear. Jazz hasn’t gotten much time in the spotlight, but I do like how she consistently suffers from decision paralysis without a clear template to work with. In this case, the problem is too many templates, and choosing for herself is a much rougher task than picking for somepony else.
Again, it’s equal parts neat and tragic that Misty’s adopted butterfly imagery as her own. And channeling the Phantom of the Opera is very appropriate, both for a mare with a sort of magical disfigurement and a saboteur with a tragic backstory.
Jazz apparently ended up as Rainbow Dash at the beach. Whatever works!
On the one hand, it’s a shame Opaline was cut off. Her opinion of Nightmare Night would be enlightening in its own right. On the other, the fact that she doesn’t know about pegasnails has some fascinating implications of its own. These mutations are recent, and possibly only within Twilight’s barrier.
“Tell me the plan again, Misty,” says Opaline, who proceeds to tell Misty the plan again. These two really are the best part of G5 at the moment.
Opaline is incredibly lucky that there’s a loud party going on in the next room and that nopony needed to go backstage.
I see candy corn is still a Nightmare Night staple… for some reason. Maybe it’s only used in decorating.
I’m not entirely sure what Misty’s logic is. Ruining the party doesn’t seem like it’ll improve odds of magic usage. Honestly, I’m not sure why Opaline picked now to look into this matter, especially since she can easily scry on Maretime Bay and see magic in action any day of the week. I blame the dragonfire; it’s clearly frying her brain. Possibly literally.
Ah yes. Nothing says being inconspicuous quite like saying how normal you are.
Opaline, the very model of discretion. At least the bubbling punch provided some cover.
Hmm. The insect wings on that one pony are probably meant to evoke fairies (or breezies) but they do make wonder how much ponies remember changelings.
I do like the smiley-face power outlet. Very pony touch.
Ah. Clearly the best plan is to conveniently use magic rather than, say, turn down the punch fountain.
And, of course, Opaline looks away once her preconceived notions are confirmed, thus missing the moment when the chaos coheres into something productive. (I actually don’t mind that nearly as much; it’s very true to her character, whereas Misty’s plan only seems to work because the script says it should.)
And then Misty dawdled on the way home. Whether or not she reflected on the emotional support she got from various sources remains to be seen.
Ah. There’s been some memetic mutation if fright-or-biting has become trick-or-treating. To say nothing of carrots becoming an acceptable treat. (The candy apples get a pass.)
There’s also the question of what the common age of trick-or-treaters is, but Sparky does provide an excuse for this group.
Trick-or-treating at Mane Melody raises a number of questions. You ponies were just there.
It’s not that Posey was afraid of those costumes. That’s just her reflexive reaction to seeing these five. Also, looks like she’ll have a bountiful spaghetti harvest this year, whether she likes it or not.
I do appreciate the musical nod to Psycho as Posey’s fury builds.
“Not even a strawberry ripple smoothie can cheer me up tonight,” says the mare who has shown every sign of enjoying the festivities thus far.
There’s something wonderfully surreal about seeing Nightmare Moon running a smoothie stand.
I have to wonder how many abandoned buildings Zephyr Heights even has. It doesn’t exactly seem like the best environment for haunted houses.
I do appreciate how Pipp basically demands her frightening experiences have a Danny Elfman score.
Honestly, I’m not surprised that there’s some abandoned property around Maretime Bay. The town’s always felt a little empty, especially the “port town with no ships” aspect.
Izzy’s kludged-together tablet continues to delight me.
It seems the literal rats with wings have spread out from Zephyr Heights.
I have many questions about those portraits. Especially what seems to be an earth pony king. They don’t usually have those.
Pipp loving every moment of this is delightful. The showmare recognizes the skill that goes into a good haunted house without getting swept up by it. The fact that she’s apparently mugging for some of the cameras only makes it better.
Okay, how exactly did Misty set up this entire spook gauntlet/surveillance system on such short notice? Or was the house actually a forward base for Opaline’s sinister plotting? I could see that; no sense in making Misty trudge all the way back to the castle beyond Opaline’s own control freak tendencies.
The fact that garlic breath can carry over through the communication amulet raises a number of questions in its own right. Also, good to see Opaline has some capacity to admit something’s her fault.
I have to wonder what the trend for cobwebs is this season. It’s not like cobwebs themselves are passé. Pipp was clamoring for them earlier in the short.
Huh. Most of the main cast running into a spider web in a Nightmare Night experience crafted by the group’s most reticent member. All we’re missing is Grandma Figgy’s skeleton in a rocking chair.
So, there’s a range limit on the amulet, and Opaline seems to experience some of the physical shocks involved. Very curious. I wonder if she just dug it out from the pile of artifacts she’s gathered in past attempts to regain her power without fully understanding how it works.
… Sparky just farted dragonfire.
Sparky just farted dragonfire. Complete with a green cloud of other emissions.
If I didn’t feel duty-bound to keep cataloguing pony media, this might be what would get me to retire Friendship is Card Games.
The Scooby-Doo door gag does help alleviate matters.
I do appreciate how the most frightening thing Pipp has encountered here is the possibility of Sparky getting hurt.
“Pony ghost!” makes me wonder whether Zipp would be less horrified by a non-pony ghost.
Coming full circle from my comments on the first short, now Pipp's endorsement brings a decent chunk of the total pony population. Maybe those three fillies are her top contributors on Haytreon.
The good news is that Misty got a fleeting but considerable source of income. The bad news is that Opaline has no interest in being part of a community if she’s not ruling it with an iron hoof.
In all, these were mostly quite fun. This writing staff really does seem more comfortable with scripts written for five minutes than twenty-two. Yes, Opaline wanting Sparky is about as deep and complex as Dick Dastardly trying to stop that carrier pigeon, but it’s also as entertaining. I’ll take all the incidental world building I can get, especially when it lets me make cards like these:
Preservation Hobbyist 1W
Creature — Pony Citizen
When Preservation Hobbyist enters the battlefield, you may search your library for a card named Preservation Hobbyist, put it into your graveyard, then shuffle.
Embalm 2W (2W, Exile this card from your graveyard: Create a token that’s a copy of it, except it’s a white Zombie Pony Citizen with no mana cost. Embalm only as a sorcery.)
3/1
Hoarding Geist 4W
Creature — Unicorn Spirit
Vigilance
Whenever Hoarding Geist is dealt damage, investigate. (Create a colorless Clue artifact token with “2, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
Disturb 2W (You may cast this card from your graveyard transformed for its disturb cost.)
2/5
Hoard Appraisal
(W) Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +0/+3 and has vigilance.
Whenever enchanted creature is dealt damage, investigate.
If Hoard Appraisal would be put into a graveyard from anywhere, exile it instead.
Page Refresh 1U
Sorcery
Shuffle your hand and graveyard into your library. Draw cards equal to the number of cards that left your hand this way, then mill cards equal to the number of cards that left your graveyard this way.
On the Canternet, ten seconds out of date might as well be ten years.
Composite Alicorn 3U
Creature — Zombie
Alicorn (This is also a Pony Pegasus Unicorn.)
As an additional cost to cast this spell, exile one or more creature cards from your graveyard.
Composite Alicorn gets +2/+2 if a Pony card was exiled to cast it, has flying if a Pegasus card was exiled to cast it, and has hexproof if a Unicorn card was exiled to cast it.
3/4
Nightmare’s Acolyte 1B
Creature — Pony Cleric
Delirium — 2B: Until end of turn, Nightmare’s Acolyte gets +3/+3, gains flying, and becomes a Pegasus Unicorn in addition to its other types. Activate this ability only if there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard.
2/2
Masquerade Mauler 2B
Creature — Pony Vampire
Morph 3B (You may cast this card face down as a 2/2 creature for 3. Turn it face up any time ofr its morph cost.)
When Masquerade Mauler is turned face up, each opponent loses X life and you gain X life, where X is the number of Vampires you control.
3/2
Sightless Smiler 3B
Creature — Horror
Menace, deathtouch
Sightless Smiler can’t block.
Ponies once believed that getting your photo taken stole your soul. The process only takes a tiny sliver, and few of them hunger for any more.
4/2
Unfleshed Ambusher 3B
Creature — Pony Skeleton
Flash
Unfleshed Ambusher has indestructible as long as it entered the battlefield this turn.
The element of surprise pairs nicely with the elements of disgust and visceral horror.
3/1
Breaching Blast 2R
Instant
Breaching Blast deals 3 damage to any target. If that target is a creature with defender, destroy it.
Dragonfire transforms everything it touches. Sometimes it transforms things into cinders.
Flouncing Fool 2R
Creature — Pony Rogue
Whenever Flouncing Fool becomes the target of a spell, that spell’s controller discards all the cards in their hand, then draws that many cards.
Irreverence inspires new perspectives.
3/1
Trinket Tosser 2R
Creature — Dragon Artificer
Fabricate 1 (When this creature enters the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on it or create a 1/1 colorless Servo artifact creature token.)
Whenever an artifact creature you control with power less than Trinket Tosser’s power attacks, you may have that creature gain flying until end of turn. If you do, sacrifice that creature at the beginning of the next end step.
2/1
Queen of the Inferno 4RR
Creature — Elemental Noble
Alicorn
Flying
When Queen of the Inferno enters the battlefield, discard your hand, then draw three cards. When you do, Queen of the Inferno deals damage to any target equal to the number of card types among cards in your graveyard.
4/4
Petalmane Unicorn 1G
Creature — Unicorn Druid Mutant
T: Add G.
Whenever you cast a Unicorn spell, untap Petalmane Unicorn.
Early efforts at unicorn-earth pony collaboration bore strange fruit.
1/1
Surreal Harvest 1G
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant land
Enchanted land has “G, T: Create a Food token.” (It’s an artifact with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.”)
“Spaghetti trees, popcorn stalks, pie bushes… I could get to like this place.”
—Discord
Young Cosmetologist 1G
Creature — Pony Citizen
Whenever you cast an artifact or enchantment spell, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control.
“It’s not that it’s better to look good than feel good. If you look good, you will feel good.”
—Princess Pipp Petals
1/1
“Monster Party” 2G
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on “Monster Party”.
G, Sacrifice “Monster Party”: Distribute X counters in any combination of +1/+1 and trample among creatures you control, where X is the number of verse counters on “Monster Party”.
Exfoliating Slime 3G
Creature — Ooze
When Exfoliating Slime enters the battlefield, destroy up to one target artifact or enchantment.
Whenever Exfoliating Slime blocks or becomes blocked by a creature, destroy all permanents attached to that creature.
Gets rid of dirt, dead skin, and plate mail.
3/3
Delayed Blast Glitterbomb 3
Artifact
Delayed Blast Glitterbomb enters the battlefield with a charge counter on it.
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a charge counter on Delayed Blast Glitterbomb.
4, T, Sacrifice Delayed Blast Glitterbomb: Proliferate X times, where X is the number of charge counters on it. (To proliferate, choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)
Plastic Battlesphere 3
Artifact — Equipment
Whenever equipped creature attacks, you may tap X other untapped creatures you control. If you do, equipped creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn and deals X damage to the player or planeswalker it’s attacking.
Equip 3
Strange materials make for strange tactics.
Cosmetic Alchemist RG
Creature — Pegasus Shaman
Reach
When Cosmetic Alchemist enters the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
R: Switch target modified creature’s power and toughness until end of turn. (Equipment, Auras that creature’s controller controls, and counters are modifications.)
0/2
Ravening Swarm BRG
Creature — Insect
Devour 1 (As this enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice any number of creatures. This creature enters the battlefield with that many +1/+1 counters on it.)
Flying, vigilance, menace
When Ravening Swarm enters the battlefield, it deals X damage divided as you choose among any number of other target creatures and/or planeswalkers, where X is its power.
1/1
Dragonfire Obsession 1UR
Enchantment
At the beginning of your draw step, draw an additional card.
At the beginning of your end step, if no opponents were dealt damage this turn, discard your hand.
The flames consumed Opaline’s thoughts even before her first taste.
Sharp-Eyed Vigilante 3RG
Creature — Pegasus Archer
Haste, vigilance, reach
Dethrone (Whenever this creature attacks the player with the most life or tied for most life, put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Forests have always offered shelter to those who oppose urban authority.
3/2
Moldering Manor
Land — Swamp Forest
(T: Add B or G.)
Moldering Manor enters the battlefield tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.
Restless spirits and relentless rot wage an ongoing battle for a place ponies have long since abandoned.
This batch of shorts are long ago enough now that I don’t remember much from them, except to note that they were clearly playing the “Misty spying/sabotaging/trying to steal” card three shorts in a row off of being tired of writing five-minute nothing fluff pieces twenty-eight times already. Which, yeah, fair, but it did start to tire a bit by the end. Could at least have spaced them out! Thankfully, that did turn out to be it, and while short #33 does feature a Opaline cameo (a lore-breaking one, at that), it’s otherwise back to the usual jumping around characters after this.
It really in an annoyance that. I get it from an algorithm standpoint, these are 100% made purely for kids staring at their tablets on YouTube Kids while the parent can leave them to be digitally babysat for a half-hour. Amplified by the near-daily releases of compilations (something that has been done with FiM clips ever since it finished three years ago). Doesn’t mean it’s not still annoying to see the original upload not be just themselves, after being that for 29 shorts. Wonder if this is tied to the massive shakeup/panic at Hasbro and eOne lately…
I am obliged to point out that it’s not the same writing staff; in fact, the voice actors and music composers are the only non-executive crew shared between TYT and MYM. They do have access to each other’s work, and the MYM writers must leave things for TYT to “provide context for” (Senor Butterscotch being the obvious example). But it’s still pretty clear there’s almost no direct communication between the two writing crews. Trying to construct a definitive timeline between the two would be a fool’s errand, for one.
That said, I totally agree the TYT writing is at least well-suited to its runtime and rarely as big a drag as MYM in the experience of watching it.
Which is funny because they've actually moved to Ireland at this point.
Fun fact: this is the actual reason for the name of Batman's sidekick. Any bird imagery is a pun at best.
If it were in any way plausible for them to have survived the Ebb of Magic, I'd suspect that "pony" of simply being one. Given how little regard for continuity G5 has, I suspect it anyway.
Inside Baseball Alert: I don't feel like pointing out every individual homage to Innistrad in these, but there's a lot of them because of course there would be.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert:
Switching power and toughness happensbeforeany other modifications, due to the same rules that keep the game from exploding when you do the thing I use as an example of this alert in the index. Hoard Appraisal will keep Cosmetic Alchemist alive if she targets herself no matter what your friend tells you "should" happen.See FoME's response. I swear you need a degree to understand this stuff, and if I were less lazy I'd link that to the Magic Judge Program because I don't take swears lightly.5701528
Also a thirty-minute video triggers more advertising revenue than a five-minute video. For the thirty-minute videos, I was treated to both the pre-video ad(s) and a banner ad during the first short -- the five-minute videos only serve me one or the other.
They should have designs in them, like latte foam.
Is this the first time the franchise has revealed the three foals' names (outside of the voice actor credits)? I will not be remembering them.
New theory: Opaline is Sci-Twi from the Equestria Girls series. Because Misty's amulet responds to dragonfire very similarly to the one from Friendship Games.
I'm still not interested enough in G5 to watch its media the moment it's released, so I'm seeing these shorts for the first time in conjunction with these card blogs. It was a refreshing change to watch these animated characters act animatedly again. It's still a shame that there's no greater plan for Tell Your Tale than "wacky situations that have no bearing on anything," because even with the more simplistic art style, these are less frustrating to watch.
I miss competent Hitch too.
You mean Rufus?
5701544
Apologies for taking so long to respond to this, but I do feel the need to do so:
The opposite is actually true. P/T switching happens on Layer 7d, the very last consideration when processing alterations. (See CR 613, especially 613.4d.)