Fic recs, January 10th: Lotus Moon edition, part 2! · 2:25pm Jan 10th, 2023
Lotus Moon has also done a reading of ShadowStrike11's "Celestia"'s New Year's Resolutions!
VisualPony's done a reading of Noble Cause's Blood Ties! And Midnight29's done PonyThunder's I'm Not Small, I'm Aerodynamic! as well as RadiantBeam's Scar Tissue!
And Scribbler's newest reading is KitsuneRisu's Home, with ABagOfVicodin!
Yes, friends, Lotus Moon has done a shitload of audiobooks over the years (and is still doing them!) so I have split up the usual reader-centric review edition into multiple parts! There will be a part 3, after which I am mixing the rest into the 'normal' stream of videos because there are so many I am never going to catch up now. D:
Fun fact: This is the furthest into January I have ever posted a first review of the year. I did so on the 10th back in 2013, but that was also before I had adopted this format!
H: 2 R: 17 C: 17 V: 8 N: 11
At the Gala by Lotus Moon
Reading
Genre: Shipping
Twilight may be at the Grand Galloping Gala, but she can't enjoy it all by herself.
Hey, it's horseified Flashlight, I don't see that a whole lot! Granted, I wasn't a big fan of Twilight being all mopey and moony because she doesn't have a special somepony, for all that that's pretty unsurprising for your average shipfic. I also wasn't a fan of them both being secretly in love with one another, but that's my own cynicism. I did like Cadence's role meddling in her sister-in-law's lovelife, that's always a good way to use her. But if this sounds like a standard shipfic just scraping by on technicalities, that's because it is. It's very cute, but it's also very unsurprising. The more you like the ship, the more you'll like this fic.
Recommended for Shippers
A Ponyville Without Diamond by sbloom85
Reading
Sequel to What Goes Around…
Genre: Villain Reformation
A week after having to live without a cutie mark for a day, Diamond Tiara still hasn't learned anything.
As I recall, I was kind of 'meh' about the previous story, but this one I feel is a distinct step up. The setup is basically a reverse "It's a Wonderful Life", which is kind of funny if you think about it. And watching Diamond slowly realize how her own behavior hurts other people, without having to have it pounded into her head, is really pleasing. I do feel like this was missing a fourth scene in that journey, to really complete the reformation in the most natural way possible. But for what it is, it's good, and I especially liked the vision the author had for the CMCs in this alternate reality. :)
Recommended
Diamond Tiara IS Special by sbloom85
Reading
Sequel to A Ponyville Without Diamond
Genre: Drama
If one pony's life is so meaningless, what's the point of living?
I found myself very pleasantly surprised by this story, because it answers a question posed by its prequel that I never actually thought of. That being the one I put in the description. And don't worry, despite the way I phrased it, this isn't a story featuring suicidal ideation. I mean, Diamond is a huge sadsack all the way through, which gets a bit annoying, but that's it. But really, taking the time to think about what her response to seeing that alternate world might have been, and how it would affect her, was a really good way to finish up this trilogy. Furthermore, this demonstrates that reformation is more than just saying, "I'm done being bad" or someone declaring you a good guy now. It takes time, it takes work, and not everyone is going to accept it immediately. I don't have many quibbles about this, really. And taken as a whole, this trilogy presents a solid way to reform Diamond Tiara, or really just about anyone.
Recommended
April Fools by Harmony Charmer
Reading
Genre: Random/Drama/Light Shipping
Pinkie Pie needs to pick better April Fools' pranks.
Wow, this is apparently a classic despite me never having heard of it before. :O I mean, other than being on my RIL, of course. 15k views, 1100 likes, written back in 2014… It's somewhat heartwarming to see that making Sombra just be there with no explanation was a Thing 8 years ago. So, I have to say this surprised me. Around the time I was wondering just why the Comedy tag was there, the attempted laughs stopped and we got a serious discussion about how pregnancy scares are not good pranks for April Fools'. Like, seriously, I did not expect that at all. And then Sombra turns the setup around on Pinkie, which was actually amusing. So while a bit uneven, this at least had the decency to not revel in a poor idea.
Recommended for Sombra Fans?
Hot Pepper Ponies by SaltWriter the leviapony
Reading
Genre: Comedy
Hey, who remembers Hot Pepper Gaming? Are they still around? The guy who looked like Sethisto was always super funny, but I kind of got bored with it after a while. (Even though I once tried doing it myself.) Anyway, this story has nothing to do with that. And if the numerous misspellings in the description don't suggest anything about the quality of the text, rest assured you can definitely hear it in the reading. (Also, why does said description start with "I do?") Conceptually, I like this, but in practice, it unfortunately just becomes a string of ponies eat hot peppers and then reacting as you might expect, minus one. Except that, if you know anything about horses, you know that they shouldn't have this reaction at all. <.< Anyway, even if the story itself wasn't generally uninteresting, I would pan this due to the gratuitous sexual joke leading into the gratuitous (if justified) fourth wall break, plus the absolutely gross way Rainbow's turn ends. Like, I'm not surprised that she took it hard, that's always the punchline in these kinds of stories, but why did her friends laugh at that?
Not Recommended
The Beacon of Bickering by forestpip
Reading
Genre: Random
In which Pinkie Pie argues with furniture.
Compared to the last story, this one is less funny but better executed, at least in terms of writing. I spent most of my time wondering just what the heck was going on and why, more confused than amused, you might say. Then we get to the 'what' and 'why' at the end, and the explanation-slash-punchline I honestly found rather tasteless. So in the end, I can't recommend this one, either.
Not Recommended
That's Not What I Said… by Level Dasher
Reading
Genre: Comedy/Shipping
Twilight is upset because… why, exactly?
This story's pretty darn amusing, with a fun punchline, but nevermind that. First it's Sombra, now we've got stories where Chrysalis is randomly reformed? And living in Ponyville? And genuinely friends with the Mane Six? And dating Twilight??? If you surmised I was intensely distracted during this reading, you would be correct.
Recommended If You Don't Need Your Ships Explained
Angel Bunny Plots Murder by TGM
Reading
Genre: Dark Comedy
You can't deny a bunny his dinner and not expect a little revenge.
Cute animals acting evil is always a fun trope, and this story puts it front and center. It's pretty straightforward, no real surprises, but I did have a few genuine laughs even though it kind of cuts the buildup off right near the end. The final punchline, at least, makes up for this. Fun!
Recommended If You Like Dark Comedy
Going to Sleep by Space Wizard Novablast
Reading
Genre: Comedy
It's not always easy.
It's really strange to get caught up in something as esoteric as pacing while listening to a reading, but this story has a very good example of just that. It has the right amount of extra stuff, a good introduction, and doesn't linger on each of its ideas for too long or too little. The story itself is cute and fun, and the final punchline is actually really good. So yeah, while small, this is well written, good job.
Recommended
What Lurks in the Fog by ShadowWalking18
Reading
Genre: Horror
It wants in.
The thing about writing horror is, it needs to get a reaction out of the audience. And this story made me feel nothing at all. The fog isn't interesting, nor is the monster. When the description thereof began, I was hopeful it was going to be just an ordinary human, but no, it's some kind of creature. The writing itself avoids building any sort of atmosphere, and does that thing where a character explicitly looks back to what happened to lead up to this point, which just bugs me. That said, the origin of the fog is, if not interesting, at least quite creative, so this isn't entirely without merit. It just doesn't accomplish what it set out to do.
Vaguely Recommended
Starlight Explores Twilight's Castle by David Silver
Reading
Genre: Comedy
Getting revenge on Twilight Sparkle shouldn't be that hard. All Starlight has to do is find the map room…
Having also written a story about Starlight getting lost in Twilight's castle and slowly losing her mind, I was very interested to see how this idea would differentiate itself from mine. Pleasantly, setting it right before The Cutie Re-Mark, as the story of how she got to the map room in the first place, changes the whole concept in really fun ways. (Though it does diverge from canon toward the end, no spoilers.) Along the way, David Silver invents a whole host of things — some expected, some surprising, some classic — for Starlight to encounter, and I found them frequently quite funny. The different ending is also a treat, and he didn't overdo the "she's losing her mind" part. A good comedy!
Recommended
The Crystal by The Lunar Samurai and Auramane
Reading with Free Spirit and Viper Freak
Genre: Dark
How do you communicate with a rock?
I'm not really sure what this was trying to be. The titular crystal is pretty interesting, I will admit. The opening gets you wondering things like what it is, where it came from, and why Celestia thinks it's alive. Any tension however is deflated because we only hear about its more sinister effects after the fact, from random guards, rather than getting to see what someone possessed by the thing is like. Celestia's 'conversation' with it is, again, interesting, though I really question her decision to have two guards go near it. Like, after what it does, what did she expect to happen, seriously? The final stinger is… honestly kind of obvious, as reveals go. It does at least answer a couple of the above questions. I just sort of don't have any feelings about this one.
Vaguely Recommended
Luna's Nightmare by Shining Smile
Reading with Viper Freak
Genre: Dark
Luna has a conversation.
We've read a ton of "Luna talking to Nightmare Moon" fics by now. This one sadly does little to separate itself from the crowd. It very much feels like a first draft, from the writing — fast, simple, rather slapdash — to the concept — straightforward and again simple, basically the first thing you'd think of when going to write a story like this. There's so little detail here, there's nothing to grab onto for the reader. It's the bare bones of a story idea, and while I've definitely read worse, this is only okay at best.
Not Recommended
Alabaster by ForgottenDreams
Reading
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Mature: Gore
Genre: Grimdark
Something terrible has happened to Celestia.
Okay, so, I actually didn't finish listening to this reading. When Rarity giggles and says, "Let me take your coat" and starts pulling at the incisions she's made in Celestia's skin, that's when I nope out. That Gore tag is something of an understatement. Besides all that, this is just not good. I mean, the first warning sign is "Warning not lil' miss Rarity, but a new kind of Rarity." I get the sense the author was (sloppily) trying to outdo LMR. Or maybe Cupcakes. But at least Cupcakes understands the concept of tense! Whatever you think this is, it's that or worse.
Not Recommended
In the end, by Regoliths
Reading with Free Spirit
Genre: 2P Dark/AU
nothing matters.
I always hated that Linkin Park song. :V Surprisingly, this story is pretty good regardless. The decision to write in second person is really intriguing. It lends the proceedings a different feel than if they'd been in third or even first person. Granted, I'm sure some readers will tire of the story telling you everything you've done up to this point, most of this is flashback. Further readers will likely be turned off by the non-graphic but nevertheless explicitly mentioned deaths of the Mane Six and others. But if neither of those things bothers you? Totally worth it.
Recommended for Fans of Dark Fics
September by Lightwavers
Reading with Gindor and Shadow Kitsune
Genre: Dark
Yaknow, as much as I did not like this story, I have to admit it's got some good ideas. In fact, I would go so far as to say this could be a pretty decent dark AU story if only it wasn't being told by a half-crazed Twilight. Like, sure, she's going around killing ponies while doing what everyone thinks is 'being crazy' stuff. Discord really hates her for some reason. For some reason, she thinks that everyone she kills is going to come back. She's apparently slipping through dimensions. Something called the "void" is watching her. Why is all this happening? No idea. But a bit more concreteness would go a long way toward making this work. As it is, it's completely undone by its execution.
Not Recommended
Harvest by errant
Reading with Vebril and Free Spriit
Genre: Horror
Vinyl Scratch is kidnapped by changelings.
When I get this blog out, I expect it will be the year of our Lord two-thousand twenty-three, and I will still be irritated by authors using "buck" instead of "fuck". <.< (Ed.: No surprise, I was right!) Let the ponies cuss if they're gonna cuss at all, dammit! Anyway, though this story is incredibly easy to sum up, it does its thing quite well. Most notably, it includes a very detailed description of what it must be like to be caught by changelings and entombed in one of their cocoons, not to mention a very original idea for what happens afterward. Really strong ending from that!
Recommended
Luna's Nightmare by Holocron
Reading with Jonas Clopper
Mature: Gore
Genre: Dark/Historical
Why would Luna be having the same nightmare for all this time?
This isn't bad, but it also doesn't do a whole lot to distinguish itself from other stories about Luna's downfall. Though I will say I liked the nightmare's response to her question. Also, I don't think this needed to be rated Mature. In fact, remove about a half dozen words and it wouldn't even need that Gore tag. (Also, how did I not realize I read two stories with the same title nearly in a row?)
Recommended If You Want a Darker Retelling of Luna's Fall
Over-the-Counter Sparkles by Gray Compass
Reading with Vebril and Free Spirit
Genre: Human Transformation Horror
When it comes to body modification, Animale is the real deal. But you only take one.
This one's for all those people who think bronies aren't furries. :V No, but literally, this is a story about two furries, for whom body modification goes too far. And if that sounds like your jam, definitely check this out, because it's pretty darn good. I found the results horrifying, and the letter at the end just drives the knife in even further.
Recommended
The Traitor's Laugh by CrackedInkWell
Reading with EighthFlame and GrindorRedFire
Genre: Dark AU
Who dares laugh at the Emperor of all ponykind?
I can't say I have particularly strong feelings about this, but it's pretty neat. Not sure if this is meant to be a bad end to the Sombra future of Cutie Re-Mark or just your standard "Sombra won" AU, but that's fine. It presents a solid question with a short philosophical discussion, and I really like the subtle hint at the titular traitor's identity. So yeah, not bad!
Recommended for Sombra Fans
"There's a Monster in My Bedroom!" by Vertigo22
Reading with Faithgoss4
Genre: Horror
Twilight comes to Cadence with a problem.
This is simple, straightforward, and quite good. It all comes down to the final line, and I was not disappointed. Good work, exactly what this kind of story should be, short or not!
Recommended
Mister Sunshine by Vertigo22
Reading
Sequel to "There's a Monster in My Bedroom!"
Review #8000!
Genre: Dark
You are right to fear the dark.
One of the things that made the previous story work so well — and that I say time and time again when it comes to monster-based horror — was never showing the monster. We get an indication of red eyes, and that's it. Starting the sequel off more or less from the monster's point of view is not a bad idea, especially since this is telling a different kind of story. And the way said monster is described… God, it's really not described at all, when you get down to it, other than adding a few extra details like claws. And that's what makes this piece work. The way the narrative describes things like how he moves just drips with otherworldliness. The only spoken dialogue comes from the ponies; the monster's able to communicate with them, and with its brood of thousands, but we're told their conversations instead of shown them, which suggests the method is something we just can't comprehend. I will say I was disappointed that he was given a motive. I mean, I expect a creepy shadow monster to be motivated by some kind of hunger, erudite or standard, and we do see that. But his whole deal is coming after Twilight, the one who got away, for some kind of high-minded revenge, and it just didn't quite sit right with me. It also makes this feel like part 2 of 3, since Twilight never shows up, but there is maddeningly no part 3. D: I would definitely want one! Regardless, the excellent storytelling is what makes this work, and was just a joy to behold.
Recommended
Dear Rarity by Alyssa Hartwick
Reading
Sequel to Dear Diary
Genre: Horror
Rarity reads her sister's diary.
I had to go back and reread Dear Diary ahead of this one, and I have to say, what made that story work was charm and voice in the writing. It's all from Sweetie Belle, after all, and the author did that quite well. Unfortunately, this story is told in third-person, and more importantly, includes several sizable passages pulled directly from its predecessor. You can experience Rarity reading her sister's diary more fully by just reading Dear Diary yourself. The only thing this has going for it is the ending, which is kind of neat, even if NIGEB did it better. But yeah, not great, and I don't have any desire to read the finale of the trilogy.
Vaguely Recommended
Journal of the Crystal Tyrant by ForgottenDreams
Reading with Eighth Flame
Genre: Sympathy for the Devil
Everything I did, I did for my little ponies.
Eighth Flame, the guy who Lotus Moon goes to for Sombra's voice, is not super great at reading, so I went and listened to this on Fimfiction. Which meant I got to hear all the writing problems. Nothing major, but plenty that would have been easily fixed by an editor. Unfortunately, even were that the case, this would still have the problem of trying to justify King Sombra's evils by painting him as the Crystal Empire's abusive boyfriend. You know, "I don't like what I'm doing, baby, but I'm doing this for you." And all because he "can't figure out" how to tell the Crystal Ponies that the Crystal Heart isn't what they think it is. What it is is actually pretty original, I will say, though it's not used to the best ends in this story. And the author did try to at least line up everything we knew about Sombra at the time with some kind of motive no one had any way of knowing because he was bad at communicating. It still doesn't serve to garner sympathy, however, certainly not from me.
Not Recommended
Where Would You Hide? by RoMS
Reading with Free Spirit
Genre: Dark
Afraid of the dark? Well, perhaps you should fear the light…
I'm sorry to say, this has a lot of writing issues, almost all of them related to word usage. And since so much of a ghost story's effectiveness relies on its prose, this just doesn't work by the end. I like the framing story, that Luna's here trying to outdo Rainbow Dash and succeeding (with a story whose impact on the characters does not mirror my own experience), but again, those word usage issues mar the dialogue, making it sound unnatural if not downright confusing. A good idea, but it needed an editor.
Not Recommended
Right/Wrong by Ice Star
Reading
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: Sad
I never used to think anything existed in shades.
I do so love stories about Celestia being angsty over her sister. :) And between the quality of the prose and the framing of Celestia chiding herself for ever having thought in stark binaries, this one's really good! Sometimes, that's all you need.
Recommended
Queen Chrysalis Does the Thing! by naturalbornderpy
Reading
Genre: Comedy
Have you heard Queen Chrysalis is back?
This is a really good comedy. :D It features my favorite kind of comedic villain plot, where incompetence and/or laziness is met in turn by incompetence from the other side. Also, I figured out what was going on early on and rather than be disappointed at knowing the surprise ahead of time, I felt rewarded for having picked up what the author was laying down. The ending is hilarious! Do check this out.
Recommended
Hearth's Warming Cookies by Everyday
Reading
Genre: Holiday/Emotional
Where did the Hearth's Warming tradition of leaving cookies out come from?
Wow, a holiday fic reading being reviewed in the appropriate season, that never happens! And what a fic this is. Easily the best "Hearth's Warming as secular Christmas" piece I've ever seen, simple to its core yet powerfully emotional. The moment Celestia showed up in the narrative, I knew exactly where I wanted it to go, and I was well and truly rewarded. Cry factor very yes!
The First Highly Recommended of 2023!
Peckish by MrWriterWriter
Reading with Sparrow9642
Mature: Gore
Genre: Horror
Gravy Train has always had a certain uncontrollable… craving.
The title and description make no bones about what this guy's 'craving' is, but ultimately, I don't think that matters. The horror comes from watching this naive young doctor sit down with him to try and figure him out while knowing exactly what's going to happen to her by the end. Super tense! Also, the interview format really makes this work (not to mention some of the early descriptions of the craving make it sound like it could actually be something sexual and violent, making you question whether cannibalism wouldn't be better!) and there's some solid character work with the OCs. All in all, I'd say this is worth it!
Recommended
Please Kill It by JackRipper
Reading (part 1) with kevinbeast589
Mature: Death
Sequel to Please Kill Me
Genre: Dark Comedy
Twilight meets her niece.
This is really, legitimately hilarious (and coincidentally works as a companion piece to my story, Shub-Cadurath!) The alternate ending is definitely the weaker of the two given, but this works because it has more than one joke and, to my surprise, Twilight wasn't the one saying the title. If you enjoy dark stories about Flurry Heart being an eldritch abomination, this is for you!
Recommended
Twilight and the Door by Briarpelt
Reading
Genre: Random Comedy
Twilight goes to the kitchen.
This is a simple, silly story that reminds me of that picture of young Twilight pushing on a door labelled "pull" on her first day at Celestia's School. That picture, unfortunately, paints a thousand words that are considerably funnier than this story. It honestly comes down to a single line about where Twilight is putting her focus. I take it as explaining the joke, which may just be to say that the bulk of the story, the over-the-top exaggeration and eye twitching and so forth, I simply didn't find funny. And good god, does the ending drag on. Also, don't use 'buck' to mean both 'fuck' and 'kick' in the same sentence, that just doesn't work.
Vaguely Recommended
Please Kill Everyone by B_25
Reading
Mature
Genre: Dark Comedy
Hell is other ponies.
I find it super weird that this isn't related to Please Kill Me and Please Kill It. I mean, it stars Twilight and has her on the cover, but this isn't even the same author! Bizarre! Anyway, I found this story thoroughly confusing… right up until the final line, that is. Twilight's cynical, nihilistic diatribe reaches levels of complete insanity at times, and never sounds like her regardless. I mean, if you enjoy over-the-top exaggerated responses to things, it could be kind of amusing to see her acting this way after The Cutie Re-Mark, but I'm not even sure that's what's being gotten at here. Point is, the final line absolutely justifies everything, and you will not see it coming whatsoever.
Recommended for Dark Comedy Fans
Regrets… by Hail King Sombra
Reading
Genre: Random
Boy, what a weird story! This is apparently based on a single frame of a season 9 promo video, and specifically is trying to guess what each of the mane six was thinking at the time. Me, I dunno, I can't see what their expressions are, but this runs the gamut of things you might expect (kick his ass, or party if you're Pinkie) to, like, romance? And that one starts the story off, so it really sets the tone! Weird butt fun!
Recommended as Light Reading
Angelic Easter by BR
Reading
Genre: Random
It's Easter, so why is everypony fighting?
I have to say, if the author wasn't really young when they wrote this, it sounds like they were. The writing is very simple and easily summed up by this early line: "The white bunny jumped on the pink pegasus's head." Very straightforward sentence construction, modifiers anywhere they'll fit, up to and including LUS, and, oh yeah, Fluttershy isn't pink, only her head is. Mane is. You get what I'm saying. That said, I will give the author credit for one major thing: Right at the point where I was thinking, "Wait a second, why the hell are ponies celebrating Easter?" the story told me. And the answer given was the perfect, really the only, explanation for why a very Christian holiday like Easter might show up in Equestria. The rest of the plot is then very weird, but it's also pretty cute. But unless you've got little kids, this probably isn't going to satisfy you.
Recommended for Parents Only
Dressed to Impress by Ice Star
Reading with Forgotten Dreams & Cloudy Brony
Sequel to The Care and Keeping of Hidden Castles
Genre: Romance/Drama
Why would Sombra be wearing… that?
I remember once reading one of Ice Star's Lumbra fics in which Luna was revealed to be transgender, so coming into this one, I was kind of hoping we'd be headed for a "they're both trans!" relationship, because I can't recall seeing that one before. That is not the case, but neither can I say I'm disappointed in the direction this goes. It reminds us of an important aspect of Sombra's existence in this continuity (I really do need to read the first story in the series sometime), and its exploration of crossdressing gets Luna to contemplate her own gender and gender presentation. It was pretty darned interesting and probably also works as guidance if you ever find your significant other looking not quite so much like they usually do. (I guess?)
Recommended
Shattered by PoisonClaw
Reading with Kevinbeast589
Genre: Sad
Shining Armor makes a hospital visit.
The opening scene of this story does a fantastic job of capturing the emotion-laden hesitation one experiences ahead of seeing a loved one in the hospital. It's that boundary, that liminal space, between being able to remember them as they were and seeing them as they are. It pops that last, tiny bubble of hope that maybe everything is still okay, and that requires no small amount of skill to portray this well. The rest is basically the story of how we got here, and while a part of me wishes it hadn't done that, I do at least have to recognize that the juxtaposition of "before" and "now" is kind of the whole deal with this piece. It's just the seen-it-all-before transition between the two time frames that maybe rests a little uneasily with me. Regardless, this is good, and the ending isn't quite as bleak as you might expect, so that's good.
Recommended
It's Not a Phase, Mom! by The Psychopath
Reading
Genre: Comedy
There's something odd about the new batch of changelings.
If you're an adult, it's likely you've been there. If you're a teen, it's possible you are there right now. The search for identity — a nuanced, often undefinable and ultimately highly personal thing — is something we all go through, and eventually come to realize is, y'know, kind of silly. That search can take a person through realms dangerous or ridiculous, and the ridiculous is usually what gets mocked in stories like this. But there's also the possibility for something else to emerge from that search: genuine understanding and self-realization. And while I agree that the "I'm half-this, half-that, half-some-other-thing" bad math is silly, and the inherent hypocrisy of rejecting one's birth identity only to take on some of its elements when they are convenient is funny, this story makes one tiny misstep that ultimately killed it for me. Once the word "gender" showed up, this turned from a gentle ribbing of a near-universal experience into a yikes-aclysm of problematic punching down, and I couldn't find humor in the story anymore. Just keep it to the weird multi-species conglomerations and eye-searing neon colors, people. The kids need their genders.
Not Recommended
No Surprises, Please by Ice Star
Reading with Free Spirit
Sequel to Scrambled Serenity
Genre: Romance
It's going to hatch!
In my review of this story's predecessor, I lamented that I weirdly wanted more comedy and less romance. If you replace 'comedy' with 'drama' in this case, I got my wish. The first third or so of this piece is all about tension, waiting for this egg to hatch as Celestia is all "wtf", and it's quite good. The rest is pretty much a long and detailed description of what comes out of the egg, and maybe it's just the reading, but I felt it was rather slow. That said, this does make a good comparison to an event from earlier in her life, as well as what this really means for Celestia. So in total, it's good, but quite niche.
Recommended for Dislestia Fans
Buck the Shut Up by Julia
Reading
Genre: Random Comedy
Fluttershy has had enough.
The opening paragraph of this story moves from the funny (Fluttershy saying "my fucking goodness") to the hilarious ("let them not see my anger!") to the confusing (why call Angel a 'white supremacist'? Not only does it make no sense in context, that's an epithet that ought to be left for the actual white supremacists lest it go the way of 'Nazi'). And that really sums this piece up. Fluttershy goes on a little rampage because of Angel, and rather than ramp up to a punchline, it goes from 1 to 11 right off the bat and never drops back down until the very end. The author did far too much exaggeration and ended up coming up with really off-putting ideas like Fluttershy shoving Diamond Tiara up Silver Spoon's ass. Really, what I think rubs me the wrong way about the whole thing is that an exaggerated, over-the-top reaction is funny when the thing being reacted to is hardly worth a low-key reaction. If she were doing this simply because Angel was being his usual petulant self and was, at last, sick of his shit, that might be funny. But he actually hurts her at the start of the story, and so a lot of this feels completely justified — sucking the comedy out of it — while the rest is just confusing.
Not Recommended
King Sombra Went Down to Ponyville by MisterEdd
Reading with kevinbeast589
Genre: Filk
He was looking for a mare to wed.
Y'all know what that word in the genre category does to me. c_c; From a mechanical standpoint, taken as poetry or as song lyrics, this is not good. The meter is all over the place, not all rhymes are created equal, and I'm pretty sure there's a limerick randomly thrown into the middle. The reading is informative, as sometimes you can't even tell there's supposed to be meter or rhyme. So how does the content hold up? Well, if this is meant to be shipping, it really doesn't work in my mind. It's very fanciful and skips over a lot of major stages in relationships, which, let's be honest, tends to be how music works in the first place. And then there's the postscript, which smacks of "I couldn't write 1k words of poetry". Which, well, fair. But while the fourth-wall break is fine, even amusing, the rest is just eh. Based on the description's, uh, description of where this idea came from, it had merit, but in this instance, does not work in practice.
Not Recommended
Lightning Crashes by TLC
Reading
Genre: Shipping
A storm drives two mares to take shelter in a barn.
FlutterJack is one of those ships I absolutely love but rarely ever find. So when I'm presented with one, I'm inclined to be very generous in my evaluation. But even saying so, this is… okay. It's written as though we've never met these characters before. The shipping is fine, I guess, considering the low word count. There's a suggestion of another pairing at the end, which is a thing. Then again, I'm miffed that this directly quotes the Live song from which it gains its title (not supposed to do that!), because, while a fantastic song, it's about childbirth, not smooching in a barn. >.> This is okay, but just okay.
Vaguely Recommended
Dear Princess Celestia by An Intricate Disguise
Reading
Genre: Dark Epistolary Drama
I know you're busy, but I wanted to write to you.
I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this one. I may end up spoiling some of it as I try to work through them. For starters, Anonfilly is, to my knowledge, a character with a lore all her own. The standard green-skinned Anonymous, brought to Equestria, turned into a filly, and now stuck as a grown man in a child's body and then she marries Dyx what? But in this story, she's just… a filly. Who calls herself "Anon". Like, legitimately, why use that name? Why not just make this a fully original character, or, given the way the last chapter shakes out, just say, "Hi, it's me again! Guess I forgot to tell you my name last time, so let's just stick with that." Just, never name her. Because if you look past all the weird baggage associated with Anon as a concept, this is an extremely good story. Good letter writing, good depiction of a child as they grow up. And of course, once it starts getting dark, it gets really dark, in ways I wasn't expecting. Listening to this kid regurgitate the abusive language that's been used on her, verbally abusing herself, that is heavy and really, really emotionally impactful. And the last chapter, again, is fascinating, because of how the Anon thing works, how it's used and justified in-story. It's just… weird that it was ever there to begin with. Highly Recommended If You Don't Mind Anon
Recommended
Favor Those Who Hold the Fire by GroaningGreyAgony
Reading with Jacob M. Keene and Blaa6
Genre: Historical
It has been three days. It is time to raise the sun.
I have to admit, I spent most of the reading being entranced by Jacob M. Keene's narration. His voice fits GroaningGreyAgony's ever-stellar prose, but he's still nevertheless better suited to reading Lord of the Rings than something this personal and humble. But enough about that, I've already reviewed him; the actual story, once I read it, was fantastic. Here's just a snapshot of Celestia, less than a week after she's banished her sister to the moon, and it seems to take the boring canon events of Princess Twilight into account, which is a first. I never tire of stories about Celestia being sad and angsty, and this one is no exception. Plus, just look at that title! I love titles like that. :D
Highly Recommended
Where Are We Going? by Honey Lavender
Reading
Genre: Letter to the Princess
We've done so much and gotten so far.
I honestly don't have a ton to say about this one. It's a good epistolary fic, and a good prelude to the end of the show, summing up a lot of what Twilight's been through and posing a solid question to fanfic writers. Worth having been written.
Recommended for the Nostalgic
Nightmare Night by Connor the Brony
Reading with David Sparps
Genre: 2P Dark Historical Action
The time to overthrow your sister is now.
This is one of the many, many epic tales of Nightmare Moon and Celestia bringing armies against one another, that still are so cool because canon gave us a two-minute slap fight in comparison. Does being written in second-person add anything to it? Eh, not really, though given that 'you' are an established character, this is at least the right way to use it. I mean, if I'm Nightmare Moon, I'm sure as heck going to crush my enemies and hear their lamentations, etc. So, yeah, not bad.
Recommended If You Aren't Bothered by Second Person
The Last Battle by Connor the Brony
Reading with TheWingman
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: Historical Drama
Nightmare Moon is here, Celestia.
Huh, it's another example of the same sort of thing from the same author as last time! And this one I think works a little better. It's just a conversation between two adversaries, not even really any scene-setting to go with it, and that makes it feel intensely personal. I also really liked that Celestia makes a strong distinction between Nightmare Moon and her sister, I don't see that done often. So yeah, this one's real good!
Recommended
Equestria's Biggest Threat by Ashfur
Reading
Sequel to Put That Crown Back Where It Came From
Genre: Random Comedy
Equestria is under yet another new threat.
Despite having read it relatively recently, I have no memory of the previous story. This one, I think, is significantly sillier, and might just be the definition of stretching a joke. But, eh, it's got a good punchline.
Recommended If You Like Random Comedies
Hello, This Is Not a Scammer, I Promise by BronyWriter
Reading (part 1)
Reading with RagingKirinVA and XavierThePhoenix
Genre: Comedy
With the invention of the telephone came phone scams.
If you ask me, the joke here is that you can't have phones without phone scammers, a point that seems to become more and more true as time goes on. Watching that happen to Equestria would be fun, but only as a short one-shot. Instead, the joke focused on here is "ponies rip phone scammers a new one", which, okay, that's also got a lot of comedic merit. But after the first chapter, I really felt that I had gotten the joke. This became repetitive quickly and I lost all desire to listen past the first part of the reading. I won't even tell you that I don't recommend this story despite that, it's not awful or anything, but like… I get it already.
Vaguely Recommended
What Dreams Are Made Of by Posh
Reading
Reading by Midnight29
Other reading by Midnight29?
Genre: Dark
What might Flurry Heart dream of?
Coming into this, I rather expected a dark comedy given the premise, and I had to double-check the tags to see that Comedy was not among them. So I ended up getting what I expected, just without the ha-ha's. <.< That said, this is really cool. Almost a horror story if you think about it enough. It's quite well written, and I just really like the idea that there might be downsides to being able to visit other people's dreams.
Recommended
The Mane Six Lose Their Collective Shit - A Crackfic by RejectOwl
Reading
Genre: Random Dark Comedy
It's time to kill the princesses.
This story doesn't exactly give a good first impression. Like, you shouldn't have to put "A Crackfic" in the title of a crackfic. Also there are a couple of typos in the chapter titles, including Fluttershy's name. Said titles also give away who gets the kill (though not how!) Most importantly, the first chapter is bad enough that I was ready to DNF big time. It's that kind of author mouthpiecing where everyone's out of character solely because they're picking apart plot holes in the show, and also that's the only joke. But at the end, Twilight just gives in and says, okay, let's kill 'em, and things pick up from there. In fact, knowing what I just told you, you could probably skip the first chapter and have fun with the rest of the story, because all that chapter does is provide motive, and honestly, the mane six trying to kill the princesses with no motive? That's probably funnier.
Recommended If You Skip the First Chapter
Butt Pillow by Lotus Moon
Reading with The Wingman
Genre: Shipping
After a long day, Fluttershy needs a nap.
Once again, a story randomly shipping someone with Sombra. Does it want to explain itself? Absolutely not. (Also, why do multiple writers now use "Sombry" as a pet name? It sounds horrible! It clearly should be "Somby" ffs.) Is it what I wanted from a story called "Butt Pillow"? Definitely. Very cute.
Recommended If You Don't Need Explanations in Your Shipping
Hearth's Warring by XenoPony
Reading
Genre: Comedy
Luna has a few things to say about modern Hearth's Warming traditions.
The thing about this story is that, while no adaptation for sure, its message is basically that of A Charlie Brown Christmas: the holidays are too commercial. It delves into silliness with the various ornaments and excuses therefore that Celestia has put on her Hearth's Warming tree, but I wasn't really laughing or anything. Not to mention it takes time out of its word count to drop a reference to Luna, There's a Sentient Race Inside Your Mane, of all things, and it ends on a Twilestia joke, which killed any possible goodwill I might have had for it. Not terribly written, but also not delivering a whole lot in terms of comedy.
Vaguely Recommended
Roses for Hearts and Hooves Day by Hoodwinked MCShelster
Reading
Genre: Slice of Life
Roseluck finds something unexpected.
I'm kind of coming up short of things to say about this. I like the depiction of Roseluck as awkward and lonely, selling flowers to others for something she herself will never get to experience. But it's also pretty schmaltzy. I mean, you know she's going to find a secret admirer by the end, and that creates a message that, if you're lonely or bad at relationships, you must accept the first affection given to you no matter who it comes from. That's not great! And the writing is just okay, starting with the weather report opening and never really growing beyond that level of skill. I just… eh, it's okay?
Vaguely Recommended
Reminisce by Flurshy
Reading with a bunch of others
Genre: Dark/Drama
Word of advice to fic readers: If a story has the same character narrating as well as speaking in flashbacks, do something to differentiate the two or the story will become incomprehensible. Apart from being hard to do a reading of, the problem with this story is that it is long on angst and short on character. I have no idea who this person is, or why I should care about them, and in big part, this is thanks to the story being intensely vague about everything. It's well beyond leaving an ending open to interpretation; there's just nothing to interpret here. So if you don't feel like reading a story where Celestia watches a pony be hanged, feel free to skip it!
Not Recommended
Panic Buying by Mica
Reading with AJPony
Genre: Comedy
The ponies prepare for the Equestria-wide quarantine,
Oh boy, here's a genre of ponyfic I'm not ready for! Like, seriously, if you don't live in the US, and especially if you don't live in an area that skews 'red', you're likely to forget that we're still living in a pandemic. D: It's been three years now. Reading this story made me realize I can't even claim to have pandemic-induced PTSD because the "P" stands for "post" and I am still experiencing the trauma! DX Which is all to say I probably would not have written a comedy about panic buying literally the day the lockdowns started (the reading came out on March 23rd of 2020, the date they started in Ohio), but this avails itself well as a "check in on the mane six" type of story. Not a laugh-a-minute, but it still has some good jokes in it, especially a weird one about a gag gift Rainbow gave Pinkie Pie. That was one of those lines that my mind got snagged on, and I'm still pondering it. How weird. Fun times.
Recommended If It's Not Too Soon for You
Eee, reviewed. Thank you.
Holy crap, a review!
That was certainly unexpected. Especially since I never even knew there was a reading of this story! She did a pretty good job!
I love the condition of the recommendation.
I'm sure you already saw it in the A/N, but the reason for the random ship is because it was originally written for a collaboration project called Tainted Love (prompt thread), which basically, LSS, required no reason for Twilight and Chrysalis to be together because they just kinda were, but I liked that prompt (Telephone) enough to post it as its own story. I won't go further than that so this comment doesn't turn into a text block. 
Thanks a lot!
It's not that there's this dumb scammer calling everyone in Equestria and failing miserably, it's how the individual people deal with it. Discord handles it differently than Maud who differs from Rainbow Dash, who is different from Celestia and so on. The comedy comes from what they do, not the setup.
At least that's what I was going for.
5707998
fun! :)
5708005
sorry, man :/ I'd been looking forward to that story, even, it just didn't hit right at the time.
Well, there's always a next time, eh?
The original idea was that Flurry Heart had a fever dream while dealing with food poisoning, and her subconscious was trying to tell her that Cadance was a federal informant, snitching on Celestia’s illegal pancake-running operation.
Anyway, four dollars a pound.
5708048
sounds posh
Been meaning to commission a reading, myself... I always enjoy hearing my fics read out loud.
I haven't seen that picture of Twilight pushing on the pull door, but I have to think it's based on this old Far Side comic, and it's probably even older than that.
I hope "Weird butt fun!" was a typo. :B
5708125
It's this'n!
And no, that's just an old fandom meme. :B
One of these days, I'll just DM you detailed notes on what parts 3 and 4 would have been so you can have some closure (if you'd like). Thank you so much for the reviews though. I'm glad you enjoyed them, and I'm so sorry that I couldn't provide you with a proper end to my little series.
Whew... thought for a while there weren't going to be any HR fics in this!
5708139
Yeah, pretty much the same comic.
5708141
do it D:
I hadn’t seen these as soon as I should have. That said, Lotus Moon is actually using the old versions of the stories (insofar as I remember) in her readings. All of these had more polished versions up at the time of review. I’m pretty sure I put that in the description. Whoops.
Thank you so much, though!
5710891
pfft, who reads descriptions :B
5710896
Ice Star may or may not be guilty of this.