The Superpony Revenge Society (And You Can, Too!) · 6:07am Nov 16th, 2023
Once upon a time, friend DocBeard asked for any suggestions for a ponyfied Superman rouges gallery. And so I filled six pages of a GoogleDoc, like a normal person. Maybe anybody reading this will get a kick out of them. Kinda proud of how I worked in some actual MLP characters.
HEX HAMMER: Superpony’s arch nemesis, the greatest polymathic mind in Equestria. Hex could probably have secretly ruled Metropolis and Equestria for decades from his tower if he hadn’t just had to erase Superpony from the public consciousness, punishment for replacing him. By the Stallion of Steel’s third year, Hex was outed as the criminal mastermind and his empire is now owned by his sister or whoever. His following silver age-ish hater era is what most ponies think of when they hear his name, high concept schemes to destroy the pony he hates the most. And partly because of that, Hex has admitted things need to change. Hex Hammer…Agent of Celestia? Stranger things have happened. With a magical bracelet to monitor his moves Hex is now Celestia’s weapon of last resort, concocting plans that just might save the world from certain doom in the event Supes and the JLI can’t. Strangely, an awful lot of Hex’s plans involve Superpony taking life risking gambles…but that’s a sacrifice Hex Hammer is fully prepared to make.
MERCY: Hex’s (Amazon?) bodyguard. Will figure out a pony breed for her later. Can’t do anything to Supes but will break anything that tries to touch Hex. While aloof, when Mercy was almost fatally injured protecting him in his new role, Hex subtly hunted the perpetrators down and ruined their lives. Supes is still wondering if this was Hammer’s misplaced affection for Mercy, or simply retaliating for anypony daring to attack him. Does Hex care or is Mercy just a piece of property? The mare herself doesn’t seem to care. She will lay down her life for her principal, that’s all there is to it. Surprisingly, Mercy gets along with the Elements “off hours”, and at this point she, Applejack and Rainbow Dash will go out for drinks even after a pitched battle.
BRAINIAC: A centaur maybe? He can download his brain into anything, so. The universe’s greatest intellect, the computer tyrant himself, still sore about only being able to bottle Kandor and being driven off by Kom-Et’s ancestors all those centuries ago. And the boy had the cheek to refuse dissection and steal his collection! Unable to immediately peirce Earth Equestria’s magical atmosphere, Brainiac has elected to send smaller bodies down to the planet in assorted attempts to stage a conversion, spying on the population as he bides his time. “Magic” is vaguely unknown to him, and part of what might be saving Equestria is that Brainiac is determined to learn it as thoroughly as possible before putting Canterlot/Ponyville in a bottle. Some of his more innocent drone bodies have made their way to Ponyville to study this “friendship” nonsense, leading to one or two cute episodes where the Elements are unknowingly teaching the universe’s maddest scientist how feelings work.
MYSTALLO: Pre-Shining Armor royal guard paranoia at its finest. Originally tasked with bringing the champion of Metropolis’ oppressed to heel in case he turned out not to be the real deal, (pony name) drove himself over the edge trying and repeatedly failing to capture Superpony. Deciding to fight fire with fire, and blatant alien invader, why does everypony else refuse to see that, with conveniently radioactive rock that can kill him, Mystallo and Hex Hammer created an enchanted suit to house a Kryptonite heart…and the wearer’s own soul. Driven mad by never being able to touch anything again? Nonsense! Celestia has simply raised a kingdom of weaklings, and Mystallo will sort that out with his militia of disaffected equine soldiers and a few trans…equine(?) modifications. First Superpony and the rest of these so-called heroes, then the throne. The age of Metalquestria is nigh.
THE PARASITE-PONY: “Parasocial” as a name, maybe? It’s what I’m going with for a theme: he basically has two moves. One is to offer himself to Metropolis/Equestrian residents as a sort of faith healer, draining away all those negative emotions…and a couple of vital secrets or skills. The other is the more super villainous persona we’d known, bait to draw Superpony out with the threat of innocent lives on the line. Not so Parasite can take his powers, although that’s what he’ll make a big show of telling you. It’s because, for all his issues, Superpony has something the little pony who became a giant leech never did. He knows what it’s like to be loved. And Parasite will do anything to feel that even if only for a second. He may be eyeing Elements of Harmony for the same reason.
BIZARRO: Created from Superpony in an accident with a magic mirror, the backwards creature struggles to make sense of his own logic as much as anypony. They haven’t hit on the Bizarro World concept yet, so Superpony is often forced to trick the poor beast into various forms of confinement, which Bizarro will either inevitably escape or be freed from by masterminds looking for a powerful dupe. Worryingly, the creature has shown one consistent trait: the need for others like himself, occasionally attempting to create copies of Supe’s friends and other Equestrian figures, using ground magical glass like the kind that created him. Just one Bizarro with all of Superpony’s powers is dangerous, an entire race of irrational creatures eager to replace the pony species could be an extinction event were Bizarro to ever create more than a few duplicates at a time.
TOYBOX: One of the many living, breathing costs of Metropolis being the city of Tomorrow. Heir to a famous toy making family, this pony’s life and innocence were stripped away from them when Intergang tried to get his father to turn their factory into a front for making weapons, and ruined them for not co-operating. Suffering an intense mental breakdown after Equestria’s most advanced city failed to help them, the surviving scion used advanced technomancy to turn himself into a living factory, dubbing himself The Toybox and waging war on the “lying” adult world with weaponized toys he can generate within his box-body. And Metropolis has thousands of advanced but abandoned factories for him to use to speed up his manufacturing.
MR. MYXYZPTLK: Because it’s just not a Superman rogues gallery without the little bastard. Maybe has a trickster rivalry with Discord, who Celestia has assigned to challenge Superpony to keep both on their hooves. “‘EY! Thirty days! That’s my time! You know the rules, ya hack!” “Hack?! How dare you, you pint-sized poser!”
KING SOMBRA: Sometimes and possibly an alternate universe version. Since Superpony is one of the people who will get in the way of his comeback, Sombra has waged many different campaigns against the Stallion of Tomorrow with mixed results. In the future, the two will wear each other down and come to a kind of truce, based on this Astro City story. Sombra is allowed to exist in his personal shadow realm and try to tempt Superpony into creating a paradise with him…and pretend that he isn’t slowly becoming tempted by the prospect of a mundane world where he is not the feared and hated king of darkness. Where he can simply be…Sombra.
THE EMISSARY: Family friendly pony name for the Eradicator. A botched attempt by Superpony to recreate a Kryptonian sunstone A.I., resulting in a shape-shifting, living computer loaded with glitchy knowledge from the fortress’ own incomplete crystal records. Rather than trying to brainwash Clark into becoming a Kryptonian, implying being one is something to be ashamed of, the Emissary is cycling through various periods of Kryptionian history in its databanks, not all of which are good. Sometimes, the Emissary is a sci-fi Renaissance figure, ready to explore the pleasures of “simple” Equestria. Other times, it’s a cold, emotionless analytical Byrne style Kryptonian, based on that cult Kom-Et’s weird uncle joined back in the day. Friend or foe, the Emissary’s malfunctioning programming will inevitably lead it to try and replicate the conditions of Krypton. Regardless of the cost to the creatures already living here.
LA ENCANTADORA: Inheritor of a strange pendant that manifests red mist, which seems to enable the wielder to do anything their heart desires… (Through the power of persuasion. The mist can form lifelike illusions and influence the unwary’s perception, fooling even Superpony’s senses, once making him suffer psychosomatic Kryptonite exposure symptoms.) Technically, La Encantadora could use this power to make Celestia hand over the deed to all Equestria and think it was her idea, but the vivacious pony isn’t interested in anything except having a good time, making a ton of money for nothing, and looking after her little brother. Superpony obviously disagrees with ’Dora’s reckless, impulse driven ways but knows she’s not out to kill anyone, so they have a sort of respect.
FLIM & FLAM: “Oh Great Scott, not again.” Yes, it’s the fabulous Flim-Flam brothers, back in the ol’ hometown to take stock after another year traveling Equestria! Normally more lowkey antagonists for Superpony’s gal pal Sunny Monsoon, Flim and Flam usually manage to find some magic or technology to make a scam out of, resulting in a dangerous, rapidly developing mess that requires them to try and con Superpony into cleaning up a mess he would anyway.
TERRA-PONY: An alien abductee from Equestria’s lawless pioneer days, returning to his home planet after being altered by his captors to thrive in just about any environment…and not liking the look of all this holdin’ hooves and sunshine and friendship nonsense. Armed with an arsenal of weapons that can match Superpony’s own powers, Terra-Pony sets out to find some way to wreck modern day Equestria and return it to the idealized survival-of-the-fittest world he has in his head.
MAGUS JAILER: Eccentric magician/inventor who used to be in charge of the Metropolis meta-mortal prison system, snapping when he was fired, blaming Supes and adopting a jailer themed costumed persona. Often locks down Metropolis, turning it into a city-wide trap, in order to prove he’s not a failure and can concoct a cell even Superpony cannot escape! (And it’s here I think I’ve hit on a theme for these villains beyond just “He’s so fucking nice, I hate him!” People selfishly trying to twist the world into what they want it to be, where Clark attempts to assimilate and improve it.)
THE PRANKSTER: Keep the Busiek stuff, former comedy villain who found his niche being an annoying Superpony distraction for Intergang, Cadmus, et al.
LIVEWIRE: I…guess she’d just be pony Surge the Tenrec? A punk rock Pegasus caught in a Metropolis science accident, blaming the city for turning her into an electric freak and Superpony for not stopping it. Nevertheless, underneath all that anger, Clark sees somepony who needs help and could maybe get Metropolis to take a much needed long, hard look at itself, if Livewire would stop trying to burn it all down.
IRON WILL: What if he was just Steve Lombard?
QUEEN CHRYSALIS: Sometimes. She takes Cadence and Diana’s existence more personally. But Superman vs. a shapeshifting race of emotional vampires sounds like a good time, so they’ve clashed a few times. She and Hex Hammer have an evil “Coulda been something” thing going on. (Insect Queen expy?)
THE PHANTOM KING: Superpony’s own personal Nightmare Moon, first prisoner and ruler of the Phantom Pasture, the ethereal non-space Krypton banished its worst to because they were too high minded for good old fashioned execution. Trapped for decades after they should have been released when the planet, y’know, blew up, the prisoners have fallen in line with Xa-Du, who’s been honing his own psychic talents to enact plans without needing a presence in the physical world. Superpony is often forced to venture into the Pasture, running the risk of either freeing the Phantom King…or being trapped with him forever.
SOLARIS: The tyrant sun! More of a cosmic baddie, but has threatened Earth a time or two. Superpony has recently become aware that in the future he will be forced to create Solairs to counter a world-ending crisis, and isn’t sure what to make of that. For starters, what kind of threat could ever force him to create a living second sun with delusions of godhood?
DARKSIED: Is. Around. Need to think of a creature to make him. (Beard suggests bovine for a Hindu god vibe) Superpony usually encounters his minions or his twisted machinations, like Happy Land, seeking to bring the darkness that exists even beneath the surface of near utopian Equestria to the surface.
And how does Celestia feel about such an entity?
Also, I personally like the idea of Darkseid still being humanoid. In all dimensions, all realities, Darkseid is. But that's just one option. Fascinating to see your creative process captured mid-adaptation like this. Thanks for sharing it.
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"Why spikes? He's big enough to affect gravity, what possible purpose could spikes serve? Really, Kom-Et..."
Thanks! Here are similar bibles for Spider-Pony and the Fantastic Family from the SPR glossary.