My Birthday + Surprise Review · 3:02pm Dec 28th, 2023
Look out for any Disney references in this review! ;)
Rating Scale:
12/10—a complete masterpiece; flawless and outstanding
11/10—Excellent, near-perfect film
10/10—the standard rating; awesome film with a couple of flaws
9/10—a wonderful film with several flaws
8/10–a great film with numerous flaws but not enough to ruin it
7/10—a fun and entertaining movie; not great but still enjoyable
6/10—a slightly above average film; it is something I might watch again
5/10—mediocre movie; not awful but not great either
4/10—a below average film; it could have been much better
3/10—a bad film; poorly written and poorly executed
2/10—a very bad movie; the few good things in the movie overshadowed by the bad things
1/10—a terrible movie; a total waste of time
0/10—a worthless piece of abomination; should have never been made
Hello, everyone! Today is my birthday!!! So grateful for another year of life on this beautiful day! As a way to celebrate my own birthday, I thought about doing something I have never done before—making a surprise movie review on my birthday. I thought to myself, “Why not? This film sucks, so I can feel free to rip it to shreds with joy in my heart!” With that said, I present to you my movie review of Disney’s latest animated movie “Wish”!
You guys already know how immensely disappointed I was after watching this train wreck of a movie last week. I was really hoping Disney would redeem themselves after a series of disasters they brought upon themselves this year. I thought “Wish” would be the one that would bring back the Disney we all knew and loved that made the classics we still watch and remember for the impactful storytelling they have.
But alas…I was so wrong. Let me explain why this movie simply doesn’t work and just how awful it really is.
Now, this movie is about a young girl who seeks to become King Magnifico’s apprentice in the Kingdom of Rosas. However, the ruler is keeping everyone’s wishes as the sole guardian and thinks he is looking after his people so they don’t wish for something that may be harmful. Asha sees this as a selfish act and fights for the freedom of all their wishes.
Even as I wrote my take on this movie’s summary, I feel like I’m losing brain cells. First of all, the premise itself immediately falls apart the more you think about it. You have a seemingly benevolent king who wants to look after his people by safeguarding their wishes and making sure that what they wish for isn’t harmful or dangerous in any way. Then you have this girl who wants every wish to come true…and that creates this conflict.
This is where the movie crumbles to pieces: it upholds an unrealistic narrative that tries to shield itself with all the recognizable Easter Eggs to past Disney movies but, at the same time, sends a harmful message to the audience. The truth is that not every wish will come true; due to the unpredictableness of life, there will be times when some of our hopes and dreams will never be fulfilled or simply won’t work. This is where we can improve and develop new ideas and expectations that can motivate us to do something new and fresh.
With that in mind, we can wish for something possible within our reach and work towards those wishes. Even if it may seem impossible, if you remain hopeful, it will become a reality. But according to this movie, all wishes will come true no matter what! It doesn’t matter if that wish can lead to something harmful in the future, just force it into existence and you’ll be happy! That’s a dangerous message to send to people, especially to kids.
The main character, Asha, is incredibly bland, irritating, and boring. Disney needs to stop making Disney princesses that have the same old personality traits: quirky, optimistic, nervous, etc. Even worse, she barely developed as a character and stayed being a bland character until the end. Not once was she ever in the wrong for anything, and whenever she would blame herself for the bad things that were happening, she would receive encouragement to continue fighting. Um, where’s the actual character growth? None of that is in this movie.
Making the protagonist likable is the bare necessity…a simple bare necessity. What did this movie do? Making her come across as the bad guy instead due to her nonsensical actions.
All the side characters were either annoying, one-note, or boring…or all of the above. Not even the animal sidekicks were that good either; they certainly didn’t need to talk or sing, and the goat was the most annoying character out of them all. This is the first time ever that I found Alan Tudyk’s voice acting to be extremely grating to listen to. He’s a great voice actor in general, and I deeply respect him for it. But the movie did him dirty and made him so unbearable, thanks to the horrendous writing.
The only “character” who was remotely decent was the Star. They were pretty cute due to its interesting design and innocent personality. I guess you can say they were the star of the movie. Pun intended…
And now for the biggest letdown of them all: King Magnifico. Noooooo…onnnne’s…poorly written like Magnifico! No one’s wasted like Magnifico! And no one’s a bad excuse of an antagonist like Magnifico! Jokes aside, he’s the worst villain I’ve ever seen in a Disney animated movie. That’s right, he’s so poorly written he makes other bland villains like Gaston, Maleficent, Clayton, and even Bellweather look good by comparison. After looking deeper into his character, I realize that he simply doesn’t work as an antagonist. Guarding the wishes of your people and deciding whose wish is worthy to be granted isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and the movie villainized him for it.
That’s like saying a parent is a villain for not giving in to his/her child’s demands for candy while the kid is whining and throwing a tantrum.
But it gets even worse from that point: because he got so frustrated and angry when people decided to question him about their wishes, he goes absolutely insane and opens a book that has some dark magic which enabled him to absorb every wish and gain their power. He then became evil after that and suddenly got power-hungry.
WHO WROTE THIS GARBAGE?! His descent into madness made no sense at all! It’s like the writers randomly decided to do a 180 on his character and turn him into an asshole just because the plot demanded a pure evil villain. He’s really not that evil when you think about it. In other words, they shoehorned a villain into the story. The way I see it, he was stressed out from his job and allowed his anger to get the best of him. It’s his responsibility to make sure every wish is kept safe and grant them accordingly to anyone he sees fit.
Remember all the actual evil villains we had in the past? Scar, Frollo, Jafar, Hades, Cruella de Vil, Captain Hook, Ursula? They actually did something that justified their villainous status: murder, attempted genocide, deception, etc. Even the worst plot twist villain Hans did something evil to justify his villainy despite the fact he made no sense. This guy is a villain because…he doesn’t grant every wish? He doesn’t do anything objectively evil! He doesn’t kill Asha, he doesn’t lie, and he doesn’t even try to kill people! He’s more of a tragic fallen hero than anything else.
Chris Pine did a great job voicing him, but I hated his character. It’s such a waste of a “villain” combined with a waste of a great actor.
To add even insult to injury, the way he was defeated was by far the dumbest scene in the entire movie. Right after he holds everyone hostage with his magical bonds, Asha and everyone else sings their hearts out…and that somehow manages to weaken his hold on them. Their singing actually managed to destroy his power and imprison him in a mirror.
That was a piss awful way to defeat a “villain”; it just came out of nowhere. I often don’t mind Deus Ex Machinas, but this type was just laughable and stupid.
And there was something about it that rubbed me the wrong way. The Queen happily taunted Magnifico and ordered him to be taken to the dungeon while he was already trapped inside the mirror. Hold up…why is she so smug about this? I thought she loved her husband dearly which is why she warned him not to take that accursed book.
The book was literally told to curse people who open it and grants them dark magic, corrupting their souls and commanding them to do evil. Shouldn’t she be sorrowful over the fact that Magnifico still chose his own ways and was about to be punished? Couldn’t she try to find a cure to release him from those dark powers?
Are we sure she isn’t a bad guy in this movie? Or are they trying to justify some dumb theory that he’s gonna be the magic mirror from “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”?
Oh, and it seems like Asha is in charge of granting wishes now. So what is this? Is she gonna be some fairy godmother or something? But—I…I thought granting wishes shouldn’t be in anyone’s control?! It’s wrong when a man or a king does it, but it’s fine if it is done by a woman?? Disney, what are you trying to tell us?
Oh, and there are some plot holes that I can’t help but notice: whenever someone willingly offers their wish to the king, they forget what they were worrying about and wishing for and…apparently a “piece of their souls”. If that’s true, then what about their family members who didn’t forget about their wishes?
Aren’t they gonna remind them what they wished for? What if they wrote about their wishes in a journal or a piece of paper? It would play out like this:
Person 1: Hey, did the king grant your wish?!
Person 2: What wish?
Person 1: You…don’t remember?
Person 2: No? I forgot somehow.
Person 1: You wished for XYZ on your upcoming birthday, remember?
Person 2: Oh, yes! Now I do! Thanks!
See what I mean?
And remember the part where Asha’s grandfather was angry with her because she told them Magnifico refused to grant his wish, and she wanted to tell him what the wish was? Later in the movie, right after she stole the wish, he happily sees it and gets his wish.
What in the fuck?!! I thought you didn’t want to see your own wish, old man?? Did he change his mind off-screen? That whole argument between them both was pointless then.
Don’t even get me started with the songs therein. Every song was both forgettable and lackluster, and the way they were sung came across as repetitively obnoxious.
Additionally, this movie doesn’t hold up because the plot feels so lifeless and dull; nothing about it made any sense and relied so heavily on referencing past Disney movies without standing on its own feet with a unique story that is supposed to have all the traditional elements of a Disney classic: likable characters, a good story, charming songs, a princess falling in love with a prince, a dastardly evil villain, an animal sidekick who doesn’t talk, a satisfying villain death/defeat, and even 2D animation.
Speaking of which, there’s something I can actually give the movie credit for: the blending of 2D and 3D animation. It’s looks pretty neat for the most part, but I still wish that Disney would get back to making entirely 2D animated projects. I still don’t understand why they refuse to get back to the actual basics of their Golden Age. For a movie that is supposed to celebrate their 100 years of storytelling in animation and a tribute to their basic structure, it forgot the first pillar of their foundation: 2D animation.
The classic Disney movies we all know and love aren’t just remembered for their stories and characters but also for their gorgeous 2D animation. It made us feel like we’re in a whole new world…a dazzling place we never knew. Unfortunately, Disney still clung to their old ways by mixing 2D with 3D and ruined the characters of this movie with meticulous planning and tenacity spanning after a decade of denial of what made them as a studio iconic in the first place.
It’s not that I hate 3D animation. I just prefer 2D more because it feels more cartoony and more immersive—making me feel like I’m in a new dimension. That’s just my preference.
I’m such a poor, unfortunate soul for watching this mess. Disney keeps looking at its box office failure and all their previous disasters while saying, “It’s not my fault! I’m not to blame! It’s the writers and animators that sent this flame! It’s not my fault!“
This movie will be remembered for causing millions of people to lose faith in Disney for once again destroying their own legacy. All the Disney executives—they’re savages! Savages! Barely even human!
Overall, “Wish” is one of the worst animated movies I’ve ever watched. It has some decent ideas but terrible execution. I heard that there are some concept arts and earlier versions of the script that could’ve made “Wish” a lot better. But knowing this company, they have to remind their employees who are eager to help make their movies successful, “Are we forgetting one tinsy, winsy, but ever-so-crucial little tiny detail? I OWN YOU!!!!”
This film gets a solid 2/10. As for my birthday wish, I “wish” that Disney will get their act together, remember who they are, and truly get back to basics in storytelling, animation, and world-building. Nothing more, nothing less. Such a dishonorable mistake, Disney. Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow, and dishonor on your movie.
And one more thing: to all the people who actually enjoy this movie: good for you. I’m happy you found this to be a delightful experience. However, I do not appreciate it when some of these people call those who dislike it as “entitled haters” or “they didn’t understand the movie” or some shit. Let me tell you something: people have every right to hate this abomination. From my perspective, it failed in every single aspect in honoring Disney’s 100 years like it was supposed to. If we hate it, then you should respect that and move on.
Now I can’t speak for everyone, but I don’t really think it’s about taking advantage of Disney’s lack of success because that’s not the case at all. It’s just that I was hoping this would be at least good…and it isn’t good at all. I’m both angry and disappointed. That’s all. Besides, it’s not like Disney is entirely hopeless because they still managed to put out…or rather help put out genuinely good movies like “Elemental” and “Guardians of the Galaxy 3”.
I have my opinion, and you have yours. So please, do not attack or put others down for not liking this movie.
*blows the candles*
Happy birthday to me! 🥳 Who wants a slice of my chocolate cake? 🎂
It’s your opinion, and I respect that.
However, I thought “WISH” was 10 times better than other certain animated films I negatively reviewed over the past year, and my interpretation on it is incredibly different compared to yours. Ironically enough, your review and opinions on some of its aspects also reminds me of how I felt about “My Little Pony: A New Generation” & its successors, as well as “Open Season”.
Crazy, right?
Happy Happy Birthday!!
🍰 To you!! 🍦🎂
Have a good one Mr. J!! 
And yes!! Cake does sound good right now!!
You know what? You're right. Sometimes I really wish that they would bring the Golden Age back and fix there act. As for the rating? Well you are right in every way.
Happy birthday \ovo/
*yeets in smol bat pony*
I believe this was because she felt betrayed by him. And hurt that he didn’t listen. When she looked through the book herself, she found that there wasn’t anything that could even remotely help Magnifico.
At the very least, Magnifico thankfully didn’t end up like Sprout Cloverleaf, who got literally zero punishment for all he did and is last seen just following his “Mommy” around everywhere like an idiot. His defeat in question also wasn’t like how Shaw was defeated, which I honestly found to be stupid beyond compare.
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She didn’t seem that hurt and betrayed at the end. Otherwise, she should’ve said “I’m sorry it turned out this way” with a tear in her eye, not gloating at his face. That’s not how you react to your fallen loved one especially after countless times of pleading with them to do the right thing.
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He further corrupted himself using a book of dark sorcery, and the Queen stated that she saw all the good in him melt away because of it. I’m not sure if it’d be realistic for a good hearted wife or husband to remain loyal to a spouse when they’re in a state of wickedness, particularly if they’re being abused by said spouse or if the spouse has destroyed any notion of trust.
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True, but in Magnifico’s case, it felt way too forced for him to descend into a “state of wickedness”. And I’m not saying that she should remain loyal to him while he was spiraling out of control. I’m saying that she should at least feel heartbroken that her husband is acting like this.
Gloating to his face as if she never loved him is a huge character assassination and defeats the entire purpose of their relationship.
How good is Elemental?
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It has every element (no pun intended) that makes it worth watching. Good romance, great character growth, etc.
Definitely check it out when you have the time.
Happy birthday, buddy! This is one of the best reviews you have ever written!
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I can see your point.
Then again, maybe that’s why she didn’t just break the mirror Magnifico was trapped in. Perhaps putting him in prison instead was a sign that she still had some love for him left, and that she’d look for a way to break the spell he cursed himself with.
It’s just a theory, of course. I wouldn’t mind this sort of thing being tackled in a sequel, although considering the lackluster reception the film received…I sadly doubt that’d happen.
Happy birthday, my man!
Also, I myself am disappointed that, despite not seeing this movie, Disney has completely fumbled on their 100th anniversary special film, which is a such a huge shame considering how they have made some of the best animated movies out there.
First, happy birthday! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year too.
Secondly, I am one of the few people that enjoyed this movie. I actually thought it did have that disney spirit. But yeah, it does have lots of issues. The concept art ideas were far better (the romance between Asha and the Star, who would be a shapeshifting creature particularly, and while the idea of an evil couple is great, I understand disney didn´t want to go in the trope of evil queen. Also, they were supposed to have an evil cat, enough with evil cats!). It´s a pity cause if this had been better executed and had better songs, it could have been very iconic. But I´ll give them credit for making something original and related to Disney lore.
I completely agree with this. However, in my opinion, the wishes Magnifico didn´t want to grant weren´t harmful and could have granted them. All Asha´s grandfather wanted to be was a musician and inspire others! And let´s not forget that there´s nothing a dictator hates more than people thinking for themselves (artists and musicians are one of the most persecuted people in dictatorships). But I can understand why people can side with Magnifico, since they didn´t expand his backstory (the movie implies his family was murdered by magic, but if they wanted to make him a villain like the ones we used to have, there should have been a twist like that story being a lie to stay in power and persecute every other magic user so he would be the only one and people depended on him).
Speaking of Magnifico, I wouldn´t have made him crazy just for reading that book. I would have done more like he was always like this but the book made him show his true colours.
This would have made more sense if Magnifico was abusive towards Amaya. It could have been a powerful representation of abusive relationships and teach kids about red flags, because these relationships never start with physical abuse. It´s a very slow process that escalates so dramatically. Kids might not have the cognitive development or emotional maturity to understand this, but they´ll take into account lessons like this. I think this is something studios fail to understand when it comes to movies for `kids´.
Anyway, sorry for the long comment but I wanted to share my thoughts. If you didn´t like this movie, that´s fine, your opinion is as valid as mine. I just love analyzing pieces of media.
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Thank you and Happy Birthday.