Pest List · 1:02pm April 18th
Just something I whipped together for fun one day, set to a possibly recognizable tune, all intended in good fun. And hey, given that I derived my Fimfic handle from a misremembered detail of the Mikado, it's only appropriate. 
As someday it may happen that a victim must be found.
I've got a little list. I've got a little list.
Of the ponyfic offenders who might well be underground
And who never would be missed. Who never would be missed!
There's the ones who post work-unsafe covers with nary a care,
The self-inserts who skin Spike for their character to wear,
The cloppers who think plot is adding more waifus to schtup,
And those who just refuse to look a single datum up.
The accidental anthros who confuse a hoof and fist,
I've got them on the list. I've got them on the list.
You can put them on the list! You can put them on the list!
And they'd none of them be missed! They'd none of them be missed!
There are those who comment "First" and offer nothing else of note.
I've got a little list. I've got a little list.
And the ones who read no stories but give each their own downvote.
And they never would be missed. They never would be missed!
There's the grimderp authors who are always trying far too hard;
Who take a land of friendship and make it a knacker's yard.
The premises all written as the barkeep made his rounds,
The settings where conveniently that one fetish abounds,
The ones who want to know ahead of time if there's a twist.
I've got them on the list. I've got them on the list.
You can put them on the list! You can put them on the list!
And they'd none of them be missed! They'd none of them be missed!
There's the homophone confusers who mix up to, two, and too.
The AI proselytist. I've got him on the list.
The fanon echo chambers who forget what's false or true.
And they never would be missed. They never would be missed!
There's the channers who delight in doing what they know is wrong,
The snowflakes who get outraged at a faux-Mikado song,
The vaguepost bloggers calling out each of their You-Know-Whos,
The hypocrites poo-pooing all the things they also do.
Before you fill the comments, it's a joke I do insist.
(Though never they'd be missed. They never would be missed.)
You can put them on the list! You can put them on the list!
And they'd none of them be missed! They'd none of them be missed!
You missed on your list "those who refuse to accept that Trixe is best pone"
Anyway, today I learned that "datum" is also an English word and means something completely else (in German Datum means date as like April third). Made reading the line "And those who just refuse to look a single datum up" confusing at first
I feel personally vindicated!
And personally affronted…
As it should be.
Great song.
Hoo?Who?
What an ode of love for the site, very nice
First
That is a funny rant/joke indeed, and thanks for the link to the song :)
I like this rendition.
D'oh, pish posh. Of course all of them would be missed. Every shot fired at them so far has been a miss. Why would the next hit?
Feeling slightly called out.
Oh. Well, that's a horse of a different colour.
Hey, it's not my fault the show lined that up in mere seasons even more than Disney did over decades.
... You were talking about that one fetish, right?
To be fair, consistency was never the show's strong suit. It's very easy to forget, especially with the accidental retcons. I mean, Equestrian history isn't so much chiselled in stone as it is chalked up on a whiteboard and wiped clean every few months, just to name one example.
Definitely guilty of that, though it's mostly to avoid hatemobs who get triggered when certain character names are brought up... combined with the echo chamber thing and the retcons, it makes for a high-risk endeavour.
Slightly surprised you didn't add any underachieving wizards to that list. Because the ones who cannot master Gaseous Form, well, obviously they will not be mist.
I'm offended! (Oh, wait. Why are you writing my name down on that long list? Oh.)
FYI: That group made one of the best updated treatments of the Mikado that I've watched. Sometimes, the old versions of the musicals or movies can really short-sheet more modern remakes. Example: Man of La Mancha the opera back in 1960s had an astounding soundtrack (I have it on 33rpm) so when they did the movie version with Peter O'Toole, they had to get somebody else to dub the musical tracks since Peter's voice just wasn't up to it. Or Once Upon a Mattress made with Carol Burnette as Princess Winnifred (which you can still find bits in black and white in '59, color in '64, and '72) or the later filming of it with her as the evil queen (still awesome after all these years)
Bravo! Bravissimo!
Behold Fo-Me, Lord High Executioner of Ponyville!
This is epic.
Most excellent indeed
Excuse me. It's not hypocrisy when I do it.
blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTT1UXs6qTEAfDYOc-4TnAH2tBwQ3B6dVULrUPs7L38UOEsrXImwagyKr4gEooY97XHhmJghFxd7Bg2FYoRXxoYyzlmQP_bZIA5QE9c1QAWLtk5c8rZmKhgerS1tca2BSPJIkqb77LY5AC/s1600/169502__UNOPT__safe_animated_trixie_spoiler-s03e05_magic-duel.gif
"IT'S SHOWMARESHIP!"
Hay, I'm only on this site to read blogs, argue in the comments sections about topics I don't understand, and senselessly click random buttons!
That is the very model of the fandom faults untenable. Bravo!
i.ibb.co/QYRtD70/Blocked.png
The List goes ever on and on
Down from the jerk where it began...
Okay, okay, I'll stop now!
5777310
They're the very model of modern criticism general,
They've got them on the list. They've got them on the list.
(Though never they'd be missed. They never would be missed.)
(Who?)
Huh. Do you know, I never made the connection there.
Still, I am all too willing, with a smile well-bred, to bow three times to the Fan High (of) Everything Else! And, if needed, with a modest 'insult'.
(No idea how many'd get it and/or care, but hey - how often do I get to make proper Gilbert and Sullivan references around here?)
When a crackfic writer's not engaged in writing (gaged in writing)
Or perusing Reddit, Twitter or 4chan (or 4chan)
His taste in stories witty or exciting (or exciting)
Is just as good as any sober fan (no such thing)
Our sympathies we with difficulty stifle (culty stifle)
When a deadline for reviews is nearly come (nearly come)
When with other writer's stories we must trifle (we must trifle)
A pony critic's lot is not a happy one
5777394
🎵 Hardly ever! 🎵
5777281
add a line for "the ones who think this song was about them"