Lunaverse Reviews: At the Grand Galloping Gala · 12:00am Mar 16th, 2013
...Ah yes, these lovely reviews again. Or rather, this one review. Yes, this is technically a Lunaverse review, but the fic in question is so big that it needs its own post to cover it all. So please, lean back and prepare to dig into the Season One closer, At the Grand Galloping Gala.
---
Story: At the Grand Galloping Gala
Written By: RainbowDoubleDash
SYNOPSIS:
Right after the events of “Foaling Around,” Ponyville is in ruins. The only hope for saving the town comes from a relief fund, which is unfortunately headed by Twilight Sparkle's father, Night Light. Convinced that she's the reason funding has been cut off, Trixie goes to Canterlot to save the town...and discovers the horrible truth of Equestria's government, the scope of her opponents, and worst of all, what her dreams of becoming a noble might actually entail...
REVIEW:
The fic loses me right from the gate by pulling one of the worst, most asinine things I can ever find in a story. Remember how “Foaling Around” was kind of a silly, goofball sort of comedy with the adults getting totally smashed and the foals having to save the day? The first chapter makes it very clear that if you laughed at any of that, you're a bastard. It literally takes every last bit of joy and comedy from the preceding piece and smashes it against the wall over and over and over and over again, and that's not the all of it.
This is really two stories in one. The first half deals with Trixie in Canterlot alone, trying to get the funds and dealing with rumors and fallout from previous stories, while the second is the actual Gala itself. Let me just say this right now: the first half was so dismal, hateful and downright frustrating that I was ready to give up on the Lunaverse as a whole. Not even L!Twilight can make that claim.
The first half is basically Trixie getting run through one grinder after another, while Greengrass and his ilk behave like idiots. Puissance is basically dropped from their scheme because...of quantum, and even in the second act, nothing she does really matters all that much. Blueblood is probably the closest thing to a saving grace among the villains, but that's mostly because he's played solely for laughs and is never presented as being within the realm of a legitimate threat. But the worst offenders are Shining Armor and Night Light. The former is shown as being perfectly willing to abuse his position to screw with Trixie because of the events of “Countdown to Crisis,” and the latter is willing to hold out the funds for a desperate town simply because Trixie lives there. And what's worse, he only changes his mind after Luna tells him to stop...but he keeps going, instead telling Trixie that he'll make sure her dreams go unfulfilled because his daughter's a rotten monster like he is. Even with the rewrite towards the end that got him to drop the blackball threats, he's still a horrible, horrible pony for going this far.
(AND THE NEXT PERSON WHO SAYS HE'S JUST AN OVERPROTECTIVE FATHER GETS IT. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING OVERPROTECTIVE AND UTTERLY CORRUPT.)
...Wow, sorry. Never knew I could feel true, unfiltered rage like that. Maybe I shouldn't have gone so easy on Around the Bend after all...
The second act, on the other hand, is a lot stronger. It involves a crazy scheme revolving around an old villain, truth serum, Pinkie Pie, punch bowls, and lots and lots of manipulation and drama. But even then, there are things that put me a bit off about all this. The action becomes a lot more fragmented, with the groups breaking off and hanging out with the villains, and while it's important to set up what happens, the actual scenes tend to vary. On the good end, you have Blueblood becoming enthralled with Pinkie Pie. (Although the joke at the very end about syrup and blueberries...excuse me, I think I need a shower.) But on the not-so-good side, you have Greengrass, who continues to be as boring as Shredded Wheat and just as flavorful.
The actual ending is, again, a mixture of the good and bad. On the one end, the Night Court is well and truly resolved, locked out from ever taking over another season. And the way it's resolved is pretty strong. Plus, I loved the scene between Luna and the L6, serving a similar function to the ending from “Return of Harmony.” But on the other hand, Greengrass, despite being the supposed Big Bad, basically just disappears from the story after getting his comeuppance. He's not even mentioned in the last chapter. Plus, again...that joke...
OVERALL RATING: Meh/Okay
I debated back and forth on what grade to give this one as a whole, and while the second half was significantly stronger, the first half was so AWFUL that it weighed the story down as a whole. It's still required reading, since it'll be followed up on come next season, but for now, let's just say that it wasn't realized quite as well as RDD wished.
And that's not even getting into the hornet's nest the story kicked off, as everyone seemed to have an opinion on whether or not this spelled the end of the Lunaverse. My personal favorites were the ones that said it made the Lunaverse too dark; I'd say that it crossed that line the minute it made Celestia into a reoccurring baddie just because and made Zecora her willing servant.
Either way, nobody was happy with this one, and hopefully, things will get better now that it's all over.
Made it to dark? Considering how the site get inudated with dark fics every day I think it really doesn't matter. Still not going to read it though and to be honest if that is how the government is working then Luna is a pretty crappy princess.
I don't undertand why you keep doing this. I read 3 Lunaverse fics, didn't like two, and thought one was just a meh romance, and almost every review you have that i read, you often say that they are all shit.
i also have my haterade detector going off nearly every time i read a descrption of one, and lastly all the villians lack much depth, usually just making them into melodramatic horses acting out Oscar Wilde's the virtue of being earnest
(I think you got Foalish Misadventures mixed up with Foaling Around in the review. The former is the alcohol one, the latter is the 'foals get loose in the castle' story).
... yeah, I didn't like this one either. And I'm really unhappy with the ending. ("Blackmail and poison: okay when the protagonist does it! Manipulation of Luna and other political officials: okay when the protagonist does it!"). And I also found myself wondering what actually happened to Greengrass after running into the night. Maybe he got eaten by a grue. (Insert fertilizer/gardening joke here).
921947 Well, let me put it this way: IAH has been asserting for quite some time that L!Luna is a much worse ruler than M!Celestia, and based on this fic, I now think he has a point.
See, I think a show can have recurring villain and not be too dark -- I mean, Power Rangers had a slew of recurring villains. But it's really dark to suddenly assert that the government of the good guys, led by a good character, is so corrupt, depraved, and evil that there is literally not one member of it that, to quote Luna, is worth more than a worm. That the only way to fix the government is to manipulate the government leader into basically threatening to destroy everyone if they don't stop. That Night Light really does have the power to make a town suffer for several days, and that there's no way to stop him besides Luna herself getting involved. And so forth.
I mean... I don't exactly what I was supposed to be feeling during the castigation scene. Glee that the baddies are getting their comeuppance, maybe. But I mostly just felt bad for Posey and Mounty and Poker and Wallflower and all the other good ones, the ones who tried their hardest, working in what is apparently a completely broken and corrupt system but nonetheless still fighting hard to govern the country correctly and maintain as much of their integrity as they can, only to be sent running and screaming in fear for their lives because Trixie wanted to prove a point and was unable or unwilling to make it in a way with less collateral damage.
(I even thought of writing up a webisode of one of the good ones dealing with it, but I couldn't figure out a good way to make it not seem like I'm just trying to reverse the point of AtGGG. I do tend to find "Actually, this episode got everything WRONG and I am going to show how it SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED" kind of annoying, which means that I probably wouldn't even like my own story, and I could hardly expect others to like it either in that case.)
Which isn't to say the story is out and out terrible. It was well-written throughout; my problems are more with the ideas and logic behind it than any textual errors. RDD has a brilliant knack for making the characters come alive, and the intrigue at the Gala and during the 'Trixie is given the runaround' chapters was good. But... well, I think there's a reason this story displaced CTS as the lowest-rated Lunaverse canon fic.
But it's over, and hopefully, we can all move on. I am a little skeptical of the idea of a Corona arc, since I think the L!verse just showed that we don't end villain arcs very well, but I guess we'll see what happens.
921996
No checks or balances and an ineffectual leader. For Epona's Sake Trixie is supposed to be her student and Luna does nothing?
Well, it certainly was a story, parts I liked and parts I didn't like, sure. But by the end it was fairly well redeemed in my mind.
I'll leave it there, as I really don't want to rehash the same old fights.
922016: It was postulated by RDD (I think) a while back that the big problem with the Court is that there's no independent judiciary. The Court itself is the legislature, Luna is the executive, but there didn't seem to be anyone to step in and stop corruption. But the idea of Trixie identifying this problem and working with good Courtiers to try to solve it, maybe getting them to either set up such a judicial court or pass a case (such as Greengrass's) through an existing one? That could have been awesome. It would have Trixie progressing towards her character arc of wanting to be a Courtier (instead of just having it dropped in her lap), verify that there's good in the Court and that the Court is not so far gone that it cannot be fixed normally, could involve the other L5 in meaningful roles (literally the only thing they did in this story was fail to stop Zizanie from poisoning everyone, then attack Zizanie during the Gala) and it could still have the Truthing of Greengrass (I mentioned a few ways to do this legally in the comment thread on the board).
... but whatever. It's over, and I guess we should all move on as best we can.
922029
I guess that would make too much sense and take away the planed plot line.
922043: I don't want to rag on RDD too much. Like I said, there's stuff to like there, it's just the overall themes and such... not a fan.
922053
I guess stick with the ones about the side character and you'll be fine?
922060: Stick with the what about which side characters? *is confused*
This has always been my primary problem with the Lunaverse as a whole. I heard it described once by one of its contributors as a sandbox where they could explore darker and more mature subject matter without having to justify it in standard canon. To me, this just says that the authors for the Lunaverse as a whole have no real grasp on what makes a ligitimetly mature story.
How mature a story is has nothing to do with the included subject matter; it has everything to do with how that subject matter is addressed. I've seen plenty of stories written in standard canon that have delt with dark or mature topics in amazingly mature ways. You don't need an alternate universe to create a mature story.
All the Lunaverse seems to be to me is a darker and edgier version of the show's universe, and not an exceptionally inventive one at that.
922062
Sorry, stick with the fics about the side characters.
922077: I don't think that's it, really.
For next season, I've got a Trixie story already drafted (costarring Fluttershy and Octavia), a Trixie, Ditzy, and Cheerilee story about 1/3 drafted (costarring a one-shot antagonist), and I definitely want to look into doing a Carrot Top heavy story as well. I don't want to stop with the main characters; arguably they are the most important part of the 'verse. :-)
seriously, am I the only one who liked this fic the whole way through?
922111
I've never read the Lunaverse and probably never will at leas until Corona gets her chance to redeemed like Luna did in canon, that is one of my biggest beefs with the series (and why I think at times it's just turned into another excuse to bash Celestia and make Luna be pure as the driven snow)
I... disagree for the most part, reviews are at the end of the day just our personal opinions so I guess mine if just different than yours.
I liked the set up with Trixie it's hard seeing a character go through a lot of unpleasantness but if they don't there is no drama and this was meant to set up the season finale... look at Return of Harmony the first half of that ended with the world in ruins a monster destroying and torturing and the mane characters completely broken, Gala is not nearly that screwed up and depressing. Though I think both were well done.
I don't recall many people defending what Night Light did, Shining Armor sure, being an inconvenience to someone who seemingly ruined his sisters life is understandable and not really that wrong or bad. But I don't want to start a thing regarding the Sparkle family.
With Puisancce, if I recall she was meant to be falling out of the villain scam on purpose because she felt it was going to fail and so dropped them like they were a hot potato. in regards to GG, I felt the ending was fitting for all his attempts at being the main villain, it's the nature of the night court that allowed him to get anywhere in the first place so it being the thing cut down and him ignobly disappearing seemed quite fitting, to me at least.
Anyway this is all personal opinion, but I felt the need to say my piece regardless. Sorry if this seemed rude.
922119: There's not really much Celestia bashing. She barely showed up at all in Season 1. There was the first fic, a chapter in 'When There Is Smoke', and now Hendy's/IAH's fic 'A Chance Encounter' has her in it for a bit.
Talon Thorn also just wrote a non-canon Celestia fic in the Lunaverse, "Monster", which is also really good.
But anyway, Corona's redemption is slated for end of S2. Gala finished off S1.
922043>>922029
Considering the time limit they were working on and the extremely slim chance of being bale to get enough of the nobles and Luna to support such an idea i'm not really sure how practical it would have been to try and add a new sector onto the government, all things considered, but that's just me.
922147: It's fiction, so we could compress or hand-wave any logistical difficulties. (Maybe such a system is almost set up already, but the good nobles aren't quite capable of getting it done without Trixie's help). I don't think that's a sticking point.
922119
That's an understandable reaction, though Celestia is my favorite character, standing head and tails above all the others in my mind. Luna is hardly pure as drive snow (I would not be here if she was) considering she did try to become NMM is and was a destructive alcoholic and missed her own court becoming corrupt. Still if it's not your thing it's not your thing.
922147
You have a point... I'm not sure how the Lunaverse government is set up so I really can't say.
922133
Let's hope it can be pulled of, though again I still might not read it. I get... touchy when Celestia is made the villain since she seems to be one of the most disliked characters in MLP and fans are just looking for an excuse to make out to be a ruthless tyrant even when it is obvious that she is not.
922172
Whoa. whoa back up there, Luna nearly became Nightmare Moon in the Lunaverse?
922156
Personally I dislike that kind of view, a writers contained by the rules, characters, setting and logic of their own world, ignoring it and hand waving problems with the view (it's a story / i'm the writer) just feel like weak writing to me. Sorry if that seemed rude at all. I don't see why the "good" courtiers would be interested in creating such a branches they'd lose power from it and the chances of such an idea going anywhere without Luna's support seems near impossible and they'd have no reason to seek out Trixie for help. Additionally if they had tried and done well enough to get anywhere Luna woudl be liable to have notice and probably supported it considering the problems her government has had before. That's just my personal opinion though. Sorry again if this seemed rude.
922193: My understanding of the idea is that the universes were very similar -- Celestia, trying to do everything, became proud and over-controlling, and Luna, feeling abandoned and alone, turning to dark magic. The difference is that, in the main-verse, the common ponies supported Celestia, preventing her from going too far down the 'I must do everything' route and reigning her in, leaving Luna to go NMM. While in the Lunaverse, the ponies supported Luna, showed her that she had friends, and so she backed off on the dark magic before being corrupted. Meanwhile, Corona had no friends, having driven them away through her pride and insistence on doing everything, and so went full on evil.
922193
yep, the basic premise is that about 50 years or so before the (1000) year mark that had Sombra and NMM showing up in canon, both sisters were struggling to say the least.
Luna was as in canon feeling under appreciated and playing with dark magic, she confessed in a later story that she already had been making plans to take over the country and make eternal night and generally becoming the monster queen Celestia saved the world from in M!verse.
But Celestia also had troubles, over the thousands of years of fighting tyrants, monster, shielding her younger sister from the worst of it (while having to see the full horror of what they were fighting herself and dealing with it mostly alone) and generally having everyone expect utter perfection from her at all times, was starting to break down from stress and isolation.
the idea being that in M!verse Celestia's courtiers and friends stuck by her side and allowed her to recover, in L!verse they didn't and instead went to Luna. Luna feeling appreciated ignored her plans and Celestia's problems; then Sombra came up and the thought of having to go through all the horrors again was to much for Celestia.
Corona still loves her subjects and want to protect them, but she fell into well intentioned extremist territory and had to be sealed away. Her redemption is coming though
Sorry if this doesn't seem very clear or if I misrepresented something, RDD could probably explain it better.
922196
So in regards to characters would that mean drastically changing their personalities be considered weak writing?
922242
That sounds a lot better than I think the first time I've read the supposed reason why
922177: As for the government, this is my understanding:
Luna is the reigning monarch. She has, at least on paper, total authority over the land -- supreme legislative, judicial, and executive power are hers. However, she recognizes that the ponies have the right to a say in their own lives, and as such only rarely uses her power directly.
The nation of Equestria is divided up into many provinces, as well as land that is not part of any province. Each of the provinces is ruled by a noble house appointed by Luna. Within the province, the noble has fairly strong local authority; they're like a feudal lord. However, there are restrictions: for example, while they technically own the land all the ponies in the province live on (and just 'rent' it to them), they are not allowed to evict commoners willy-nilly, unlike how the real Middle Ages worked.
Additionally, 243 of the nobles serve in a body called the Night Court, the national legislative body. They vote on national proposals -- taxes, funding, initiatives, and so forth. Proposals are often divided by committee; a high-ranking noble cannot (directly) influence a committee bill if they are not on that committee (Cheerilee implied this in the Gala fic, when she told Puissance that Puissance can't set education policy since she's not on the education committee). Generally speaking, higher ranked nobles have more power, but a clever low-ranked noble can get on useful/important committees and form alliances, and can wind up with more actual power than a higher ranking but less skilled noble.
Finally, each city or town has an elected legislature to handle the day to day stuff. This is a fully democratic body, and they pass local ordinances, local taxes, and so forth. Many towns also have a Representative, sort of a liaison between the Court and the town council.
Town councils can petition the government to remove nobles or Representatives if they feel the noble/rep is abusing his or her authority, and Luna has said she takes this very seriously.
922249
i'm not sure exactly what you are asking here, but I will try to answer; if a character has an established personality and suddenly begins behaving contrary to that for seemingly no reason with the only justification being the author wanted it, then I would classify that as bad writing.
If a reason is supplied for it such as (mind control, being emotionally scarred, they are acting, ETC) then it can make a lot more sense. That's my take at least. If it's an AU of some sort, then some sort of justification/explanation should be provided for a thing or character behaving differently. That's just my personal take though.
thanks.
922310
That is... a lot more thought out that you usually see in fics since most seem to go with the absolute monarchy/diarchy. That is probably the closest I've seen to my Concordiat.
922322
That is pretty much what I was asking for, thanks for answering. Screwing around with a character's character is something I've seen far too often in this fandom (examples: Cupcakes, Rainbow Factory, the whole NLR/SE thing, etc)
922340: The strong worldbuilding, along with the emphasis on continuity, is one thing I like a lot about the Lunaverse. :-)
922368
Then I will grant RDD that for sure, as a fellow worldbuilder
922340
yeah we're a chatty bunch.
I'm sorry to say i'm not sure what Concordiat is.
922365
I completely agree.
922395
That we are, that we are.
The Concordiat is... well it's my own MLPverse. Basicly it is me really thinking hard on how can I make a Equesrtiani government that would make people think that Celestia is a tyrant and would offend our democratic sensibilities. I have a group set up that hold my notes if you are interested: Equestriani Concordiat
It is always nice to find someone who does. Go too far and what got is an OC that bears the name
921996
Frankly I think things like blackmail and manipulation are okay when a protagonist does it because if you've got an establish protagonist you know why they're doing it and it probably has something to do with the villains. I don't like it when heroes are hamstrung by the things they want to protect while the villains are protected by the same. It suggests a corruption of the system that means the heroes should NOT be abiding by it. And while they say "two wrongs don't make a right" they also say "turnabout is fair play."
922455: Then the only difference between heroes and villains is who's got the camera following them around. Trixie isn't a hero if she stoops to those tactics, and she certainly is not one at this point in the story.
Villains do bad things. By definition. Sure, it sucks to follow moral rules when your enemies don't, but that's the price you pay for being a good guy. Being a bad guy is easier; everyone knows that. It's good guys who have the moral courage and ability to not use their tactics.
922340
That is one of the Lunaverse's strengths. RDD obviously put a lot of thought into the initial setup, and gladly accepted outside input and ideas on how the government should be run, who the ponies on top should be, and so forth.
This story, however, came about because the Night Court was allowed to grow too far past what was intended. The Night Court, as originally envisioned from what I can tell, was supposed to only be thought of as corrupt, with a few bad apples ruining the pie for everyone. The Big Bad would have been Blueblood, he would have gotten his comeuppance at the finale, and then everyone would turn to dealing with Corona.
But then Greengrass came along, originally as a one-shot villain. He got obscenely popular, and soon everyone was planning to include him in almost every story. And since he wasn't Blueblood, he became the new Big Bad. And then came Fischer and Puissance, who were planned to have their own season-spanning arcs; heck, Fischer was planned at one point to be the Big Bad of the first half of the second season, before being usurped by Corona. Almost every conversation became about the Night Court and how its agents would work to corrupt and break apart the heroes.
Heck, Eye of the Hurricane? A similar idea was suggested long before, but with the therapist being an agent of the Night Court out to ruin the heroes.
So, whether or not you liked the story, the point is that it came out. It's over. The Night Court is finished, and we can move on to other things.
922322
What if the justification is crap?
922462
No, you're wrong. There is the difference in the reason of goals Robin Hood was a thief. He was a good guy because he didn't commit his crimes for his own benefit but for the poor.
When you're helping those who can't help themselves things that are unacceptable for your own personal gain are totally okay. If you put the moral high ground ahead of people's well being you're almost as selfish as those you're fighting against. After all you're both getting what's most important to you. They're getting the proceeds of they're actions, you're getting to claim that you're better than them and talk about all the stuff you'd love to do if not for this gosh darned code of yours. The only ones suffering the the villain's victims, who in addition to being hurt by the villains are subjected to empty promises that raise and dash their hopes.
Oh, by the way, I'm pretty sure the reason that Corona sticking as a recurring villain is what might have made things to dark, is not because she's recurring but because she's Celestia!
922413
Interesting idea, what motivated you to create it?
An OC by any other name is still an OC.
922455>>922462
i'm not trying to jump in here but, I figure i'll offer my opinion on this matter using a metaphor I threw out a while ago.
If a person stops a mugger violently, such as by knocking them down, the have then used the "same" methods as the mugger (violence) but it wouldn't really be fair to say that, that person is as bad as the mugger. The mugger is motivated by profit/evil and commuting a crime for themselves while the knocker downer is either defending themselves or saving someone else.
Actually I was happy with this. Not at the start, mind, but by the end everything more than made up for that. The worst of things though wasn't even the early chapters, but rather the highly vocal and argumentative speculation from the readers (especially the other Lunaverse authors who should all feel ashamed, myself included). If this had all been published as a single story though I doubt any of that would have been nearly so big a problem as it was. So while the overall experience was trying, I think the fic itself is one of the best the setting has to offer.
Other than that, there are two issues (though they more or less the same issue) from you review that I'd very much like to call you out on. I don't fear your rage, but I don't want to put you through the drama either, and besides, I'm tired of arguing about such things.
922504
yes, that's definitely my feelings on the subject.
922505
No...please. Go ahead. I don't want to shut down any potential conversation.
922504
My motivation? Initially it was a way to give the NLR wackos the proverbial finger then it just took on it's own... and stealing as much as I can from the real world.
Ok to everyone here, I have never read the Lunaverse and probably never will but from many of the comments I have seen here you all seem to be a good bunch of people who due to actions of outside forces seem to be between a rock and a hard place, but you've tried to keep going and give the stories the best possible endings. You have my respect
922492
I suppose that really comes down to personal opinion.
Much as Emeral said, I liked this one as well.
922500: Here's the problem with the 'greater good' justification: it is explicitly rejected by the story itself, both current and future iterations.
Forget for the moment that Fisher's villain arc was intended to show the problems of 'ends justify the means' theories; look back in Musicians And Dreamers, and again, in this fic. In M&D, Octavia explicitly states to Trixie that the reason some nobles want to control her is they do not think she can beat Corona on her own. They are confident that, should Trixie go it alone, they will all die, and the nation too. Hence why they want to control Trixie. (And this is explicitly Fisher's motivation). But this is still shown to be a bad thing -- their breaking the rules isn't good, even thought it's for the cause of saving the nation.
Or in the Gala. Posey offered a bribe for a bill, she says through tears, was vital to Cloudsdale. If that bill really was vital, then the bribe was also for a good end. But Luna chewed her out regardless.
Now, you can make an argument for degree; if the bad guys are burning down factories and the good guys engage in a little lockpicking to search for clues, fine. But that's not the case here. Trixie blackmails Blueblood in exactly the same way, and for identical reasons, as the nobles blackmail each other -- she, Trixie, does not want to get in trouble. She does not want to suffer consequences for what she did. Her actions aren't even different in motivation. They are identical.
922504: Trixie doesn't even have that justification. She used Blueblood and now blackmails him so she looks good.
Just started reading it. I will say this. Given how it started, I had assumed the story that left Ponyville a disaster (I haven't read it yet) was a drama. I am completely surprised to find out it was a comedy.
Anyway, Allons-y!
922029
how exactly do you get the bad ponies to agree to a court system that will punish them for being bad ponies? Or figure that the judges on it wouldn't be bought.
922545: Get the good ponies in the Court (it wasn't until this story that it was shown that there were none at all) to agree to set it up.
The good ponies aren't going to want corruption. They want it gone. They'd be willing to help set up a justice system.
922553
if the good ponies had the vote to pass it over objections of the bad ponies then the court wouldn't be corrupt enough to really need it.
922527
NLR
Never could get along with that group, I always much rather the Protect-Celestia-fc. 
Thing taking on a life of their own can be quite entertaining in it self, i'm a huge fan of world building as well!
Thank you very much for that wonderful sentiment, we really appreciate it.