I feel pathetic · 9:59pm Mar 19th, 2013
I haven't been very active in the past few days, have I? There's actually a reason for it this time, even if it's more of an excuse. Story time:
The day before Spring Break, I was tense, awkward, and far beyond ready for a week without the stressful, annoying interaction with people at school. And what do you know, I screwed something up. In science, I knocked a tray that had been jutting out from a table. And it had been right next to some precariously placed cups full of earthy stuff, like sand and clay. I shouldn't have to explain what happened next. Of course, while I was angrily trying to scoop stuff off the ground and into their respective containers, I was being harassed by the entirety of my class while the teacher was in the bathroom. One thing led to another, and it ended in me screaming at others for the first time in my life. Then I had a panic attack, was sent to the bathroom to calm down, and went home two hours later.
It was a trivial thing, honestly, and I should've kept my temper under control. It was a choice between shouting at the top of my lungs or grabbing the closest person and pummeling the shit out of them, so I chose the lesser of two evils. At least I didn't have to see those smug dicks the next day.
And now I feel all weird, and I don't like it. It's this indescribable feeling of self-loathing and misery, taking up the place in my gut where there's usually a void. Poor old me.
Please do forgive me for the lack of presence. In between writing a History paper and being too apathetic to work on anything, I haven't said much here, and I want that to change. Hopefully, I'll be more alive over here for the rest of the week.
Hugs?
-Plyxe
Damn... *hugs*
If you ever need someone to chat with, I am usually online, and always willing to listen to a friend in need.