Body And Mind on hiatus · 3:58am Apr 20th, 2013
I'd like to begin this post by thanking everyone who's been following and commenting on my story. It means a lot to me, knowing that I've made a contribution to this community and created something that people enjoy. I hope you can all be understanding of my decision to put it on hiatus, then, in light of what I'm about to tell you. Quite simply, I just don't have time or energy to spare for it right now.
I found out today that my grandmother, who was diagnosed with cancer shortly after my grandfather's death last year, will be entering hospice care this Monday. I received terrible news about her condition last Sunday, and while I still clung to hope then, there's no longer any possibility of her recovering. Despite months of chemotherapy and radiation treatment, her cancer has spread to the point that there is nothing further the doctors can do for her. I've been traveling home on the weekends so I can visit her in the hospital because by this point any time I see her could very well be the last. I've always been close to her, my family's still bearing the wounds from my grandfather's death, and this has taken its toll on me -- last week I've slept like shit, I've been missing most of my classes, and in general I haven't left my dorm unless I absolutely had to.
This has been especially hard for me because within a month I will be graduating college. I've fallen behind in many of my courses, and recent events have only made that worse. I'll be spending the next few weeks studying harder than ever so that I can close out my last semester with good grades. It's hard to put any real enthusiasm into it when I know I'll very likely be mourning my grandmother on graduation day, but at the same time I realize how critical this is to my own future.
Unfortunately, I can't give any estimates. I don't know when I'll be writing again. Right now it's an emotional and cognitive luxury I can't afford, and I can't even begin to guess when that will change.
I know from having been on the other end of such a situation that it's often hard to know what to say to a stranger over the internet at a time like this, but I welcome and am grateful for any support that you can offer.
UPDATE: Unfortunately, hospice care never happened because my grandmother passed away.
She stuck through with the radiation as long as she could, even knowing it would've given her a few months of borrowed time at most. There were a few things left she wanted to take care of in those few months, so she gambled on the chance.
It didn't pay off. She never got to do those last few things she wanted to do before she died, and one of them was attending my graduation.
My grandmother went through the same thing, and in this situation, you have to look to the bright side. She's in hospice. She is being taken care of, everything is being finalized, and if her hospice is doing its job, she won't be in any kind of pain.
Now I can't speak for you, but for my grandmother, it was time. It's selfish to hold onto a family member until the very last second, dragging it out and forcing life upon them. She's been battling cancer for months now, and I think it's time she was able to rest, you know?
It's awful to lose someone close, but they've lived their life. Everyone's time comes, it's just a matter of how. It could be much worse, she could have fallen and broken her neck, or died in a car crash, but she didn't. She will most likely pass in her sleep and never feel a thing.
Sorry if I sounded presumptuous.
Ouch, I'm sorry to hear that. Take as much time as you need man.
Take all the time you need. My deepest sympathies to you and your family
Don't worry about it man. Good luck, and my sympathies.
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I… really can’t say I know exactly what you’re going thorough, to do otherwise would simply be insulting, but regardless you have my condolences.
I have experienced the death of numerous short lived pets and been to the funerals of more distant family members I doubt it’s quite the same for someone so close to you.
All I can hope is that the pair of you enjoy her last moments in life. I suppose that’s the twisted thing about cancer, an inevitable onslaught that gives you some time before the end.
Goddamn cancer.
May you and your family get through this without crippling grief. May your grandmother live longer than expected, suffer less than expected, and finally go knowing she is and will be loved.
And may humanity figure out how to cure this cancer bullshit in our lifetime.
If there is a right thing to say in these kinds of situations, I don't know it.
All I can say is sorry, and that you take as much time as you need, this story and and we the people that like it are just not important at all with the events going on in your life right now.
Your grandma sounds like a wonderful woman, I hope you can spend as time with as possible.
Take your time, I lost my grandfathers last year so:
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My sincerest condolences on this, Starman. I hope her passing is as easy as possible. :(
Posting a reply here to update everyone who's shown their support.
To begin with, I'd like to thank you all for your understanding and well-wishes. Unfortunately, hospice care never happened because my grandmother passed away a week ago today. By the time they stopped the radiation treatment, it had taken its toll on her body and she had become too unstable to transfer. I got back from the funeral Sunday.
She stuck through with the radiation as long as she could, even knowing it would've given her a few months of borrowed time at most. There were a few things left she wanted to take care of in those few months, so she gambled on the chance.
It didn't pay off. She never got to do those last few things she wanted to do before she died, and one of them was attending my graduation.
1021454 Thank you. From the accounts I heard, she went peacefully, so I can at least take solace in that.
1021501 Thanks for understanding.
1021524 I was pleasantly surprised to hear from you on this, since we'd been out of touch for awhile. I understand you went through the same thing not too long ago. You have my sympathies likewise.
1021561 Thanks Eric.
1021617 I think I'll be needing this for awhile.
1021691 1021778 Cancer is, without a doubt, one of the worst. Even if you've been cured, there's always the chance that some stray cells the doctors missed can come back to hit you again. My father had cancer (but survived), 3 of my grandparents had cancer, and I'm afraid that someday it'll be my turn too.
1021967 You're right. She was wonderful. Put in a lot of volunteer work around the community, and she cooked dinner for the family every Sunday right up until she was hospitalized. Needless to say, I was far from the only one who was sad to see her go.
1022098 Sorry to hear that, man.
1023064 Thanks, Striker. It was about as easy as I could've hoped for.
1045504 Everyone has to go sometime, it's just nice that she went peacefully.
1045504 Damn, I'm very sorry.
1045504
Just damn man, you and your family hang in there.
1045504
My condolences for your loss
Oh, goodness gracious....
Um... err... I know she's here somewhere... Derpy! Derpy! Ah, there you are... I'll need you to go with this fellow for a while, okay, and give him lots and lots of hugs. Let me pick you up... There we go...
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1045504 idk if this will help, but keep in mind that even if this is a sad moment, she was able to live long enough to see her son and you grow up, this is the way things should be, and not the other way around.
Be strong, like I know you are.
1045504
No problem at all man, though I'm sorry to hear how it turned out though.
>finds cool story
>nearly begins story
>sees it's on hiatus
>comes to userpage to see if reason why is provided
>sees this blog
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7322738432/hD6C847F4/