Tales of the Sun, Moon and Stars by DalTRS · 4:49pm Oct 25th, 2013
Hi kids, I’m the Spideremblembrony. I’m the voice of the inner monologue you hear when you read comic books.
I want to welcome you all to my first fanfiction review ever!
This is where I review one of the fanfics I’ve read (or you suggested), and give my honest thoughts and opinions on it.
Now I know a lot of you tend to do this for fun and that’s just fine. But for those of us who want to improve and strive to be better, we ask that we receive good, honest criticism. (Good being a flexible term)
Which is why I have decided to spend today discussing what I think is good, bad and ugly with the fan fictions I’ve read and proceed to give you my own judgment.
To start us off for my first review, I have chosen Tales of the Sun, Moon, and Stars, by DalTRS
This was one of my first fan fictions I read on this site. The first of a trilogy, this would lead into two other stories, Her Happily Ever After and When Stars Dream.
All three of which are very well received by the community.
But what are my takes on them? Or more importantly just this one? Well, let’s look at my first review, with Tales of the Sun, Moon and Stars.
If you haven’t figured out by now, there are spoilers for those of you who haven’t read the stories. If you want to read them, I have provided a link above. And for the rest of you… 
The story starts off with a young filly rushing towards the library, where we find Twilight Sparkle. The filly, who is never named, asks Twilight to read her a story. Twilight says she is reading something that she doubts the filly would like.
So, what do we know about this filly? Well, so far nothing. Does that ever change? Nope. Okay, we do learn one thing, that she is Princess Celestia’s student. And… that’s it. The character is not even given a name. I know that she’s just a witness to the story about the princesses, but seriously what significance does she show as far as the story? This story could have easily have been done without this unknown filly, who never gains any backstory.
She does appear once in the next chapter, but she doesn’t even get passed the first paragraph before she’s completely forgotten.
Why did we have to have this filly, who never gains any development? This story could have been just as easily Twilight learning about Celestia. To learn that there was in fact a third princess.
But I’m jumping ahead of myself. It turns out that there were indeed three princesses at the beginning of Equestria. One who controlled the sun, (Celestia, obviously), one who controlled the moon, (Luna), and one who controlled all the stars in the night sky. The youngest (that’s what I’m calling her since she is never given an official name) was the most important among the sisters, since she was the one would the conduit in which magic would flow to Equestria.
Yes, she was so important, Luna and Celestia both forgot her name and failed to honor her anywhere in this story.
The three sisters watch over the ponies for eons and life seemed pretty good. However, the three tribes of the land began to bicker towards one another. This, of course, causes the land to become covered in snow, thus the three sisters begin to grow sorrowful. In response, each of the sisters would choose a champion from each tribe to represent them, in the hopes that they would lead their people to a peaceful resolution.
And if you’ve seen Hearth's Warming Eve, you already know what happens. For those of you who haven’t (let’s be honest which one of you hasn’t.), it is the friendship of the three characters that allows them and their people to survive the harsh winter.
However, the story does explore that the events that happen as they travel are actually trials that would bring the ponies closer together. Though I’m not sure if a stream qualifies as a trial. Though if Princess Platinum is anything like Rarity, I can see that being a trial.
But I’m getting off track. The story continues as the show normally would, with the magic of friendship overpowering the windigos.
However, before the defeat of the windigos and the establishment of the land, harmony was blown to the four corners of the world. The story reveals that the disharmony and mistrust between the three tribes created Discord. (The character)
As guessed, Discord begins to reshape the world in his own image. Making it a world of chaos.
The three sisters use their champions to face him but are easily defeated. The younger sister comes up with a plan and says that two of them have to sacrifice their god-hood in order to battle Discord. (Wait what?)
If these gods are so freaking powerful, why can’t they just go and kick Discord’s ass?! Seriously, I question why they can’t just go down there and wipe him out? It’s not like they are forbidden and if they are, why was it never mentioned?
It’s not like they haven’t been interfering with the course of things before. They got involved with the whole formation of Equestria thing, why don’t they get involved with taking Discord out if they care about their ponies so much?
Nope, instead, Celestia and Luna are sent to Equestria as fillies… What?
Okay, so I guess Celestia and Luna are born into this world, giving up their god-hood and their god-like powers. However, the younger sister agrees to teach them how to defeat Discord.
Wait, what?
You mean to tell me that the gods can’t interfere with anything going on in Equestria, but you can have two little fillies trained, technically from birth, to fight off an evil being that you probably could have stopped with your pinkie. (If you had one.)
That makes no freaking sense. And another thing, if the younger sister did train the two fillies, why the heck don’t they know her name? You would think that would be important to these two characters, since they are being taught and protected by this deity. Why the heck would they forget her name anyway? Did they lose their memory when they were born? If so, how am I supposed to know that? Somebody tell what the hell is going on!
Anyway, moving on now, years pass as Discord continues to wreak havoc on the world. Celestia and Luna are eventually able to face him, claiming their sun and moon respectively in the process.
The three fight for a bit with Discord easily defeating Celestia and Luna.
The younger sister, worrying for her sisters, finds the elements of harmony and uses them to battle Discord. As it turns out however, the element of magic is missing. Despite this, the sisters use the elements to battle Discord, only to have no effect on him.
However, as it turns out, the younger sister is the element of magic (This is explained in another story, which I will get to at another time). Using the elements, they defeat Discord, but not before giving Luna a warning.
"Be wary in the land of mortals, my dear little Moon; for they will never accept you like your beloved sister. They will fear you, they will shun you, and they will never love you."
Right. Because you should always listen to the crazy demon, who turns ponies against one another with lies.
So Equestria is save once again and the ponies welcome their new rulers, Celestia and Luna, who are quick to forget the sister that helped them get this far. And they live happily ever after.
Or do they?
If you know the story of My Little Pony then you know they don’t. In the story, Luna begins to ponder on Discord’s words. She thinks of herself as an artist, perfectly aligning the stars to make pictures in the night sky.
Wait a minute, if Luna can manipulate the stars then what the hell is the younger sister supposed to do? Seriously, I ask you, what does the younger sister do if Luna controls the stars?
For the pony who in the story is repeatedly called the Stars, she seems to have very little to do with them.
God, no wonder nopony remembers her name, all the stuff she’s supposed to do gets taken over by everypony else. Even her sisters don’t even bother to acknowledge her. And that’s saying something since they were raised and taught by her.
Anyway, Luna becomes angry that she isn’t loved like Celestia.
Don’t worry, Luna, every single brony loves you more than Celestia.
This anger turns Luna into Nightmare Moon. Nightmare Moon and Celestia duke it out while the younger sister tries to come up with a plan.
My sister—my beautiful, loving sister—is the cause of all of this. How? How could I have missed this hate forming deep within her for so long?
Well, to be fair, Celestia, who was actually living with her, didn’t see it either.
Art by Chaoschao123456
So the younger sister comes up with a plan and is able to sense Luna is still inside of Nightmare Moon, underneath of veil of darkness.
The youngest sister contacts Celestia, with Celestia still not asking for her sister’s name, telling her that the only way to save her is to …
Come on, you guys knew that was coming.
The younger sister takes Nightmare Moon into space, where she attempts to free her sister.
As it turns out Celestia, after nine hundred years, witnesses the resurrection of the elements of harmony when a sonic rainboom crashes through the sky. She then discovers that the elements, like with her sister’s elements, chose to live as ponies. She quickly swoops up young Twilight Sparkle and takes her under her wing.
Our story concluded with our filly wanting another story read to her, since we bronies know the rest.
And that is the story of The Tale of the Sun, Moon and Stars. And now it is time for my judgment. I will give either a thumbs up or a thumbs down.
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This fic is pretty freaking good.
For all the problems I have with it, it is still a well-writing, well planned out work of literature. The connection to the series is very well done and makes sense, given how little we know about Celestia and Luna. Discord becoming part of the reason of why Luna became evil was very interesting. While I do question the beginning, mostly dealing with the little filly since she plays so small a role, it doesn’t ruin the piece in the slightest.
And while I spent a lot of my time bitching about things, I did not think this was a bad story. It is the exact opposite of a bad story. It is a very good story. And I would highly recommend giving it and the rest of the trilogy a read. The descriptions were very good and the plot was solid, especially if you are familiar with the franchise.
There is nothing crude or offensive in this story, so if you are looking for a clean, well-written piece of literature, I would highly recommend this.
And that was my first review. If you disagree, please leave your thoughts below, or better yet, tell DalTRS what you think of the story.
And if you’ve got a Fan Fic that you would like me to review, whether it be good or bad, leave it in the comments below. Have a good day guys. I know I will.
Next month, I will be review the first of a series made the Avenging Hobbits. The shy pony with the heart of kindness who is plagued by a terrible creature. A creature known as The Flutterhulk
A fair and honest review. I'm glad you liked it, even with its flaws.
1454231 Every story has flaws. Not one story I've ever read will has been perfect. But it took me several reads to see the flaws that I did. Which means you were able to distract me enough with a well-written piece of literature, that I missed them the first two times I read this.
I am glad you thought it was honest and fair. I hope to continue to be a fair and just reviewer in the future, even if I do poke fun a few mistake.
I can't wait for my story's review
1492236 Working on it as we speak. Expect it up by November 17th.
1492289 Excellent