failure to meet deadlines and HEY LOOK A DELETED SCENE · 2:49pm Nov 23rd, 2013

Hey guys,

I think that if you take anything from this experience is that I can't be trusted when it comes to deadlines. I've been working on The Man With Two Names, and I've actually made some progress. There are chapters left unwritten, and those that are written, are unedited to the point of reading like a Nanowrimo.

So I had three possible options after realizing I would be unable to finish by my self-imposed timeline
1. Seppuku.
2. stall with blog posts of deleted scenes and sneak peaks
3. write my butt off at the expense of my friends, family, grades and physiological needs.

My current plan is to do all three. and seeing as all I have on hand is plastic knife, I think #1 is going to have to wait for a while.

so without further ado, a scene from The Assistant(Lucky) that never saw the light of day until now.

I stumbled backwards, as I felt my snout throb horribly, as I felt blood flowed freely. “God damn it, Lucky, god fucking damn it! I thought you were my friend. I thought you wanted to help me.” I caught a glint of a tear in his eye. “Then you just fuck me over, like every one of these god damned ponies. I thought you were different, you bastard!”
At that moment, a beam of fiery light piled onto to Jerry from the morning sky, and I was momentarily blinded by the flash. Was he being burned alive? No, he was bathing in the inferno, laughing, letting the flames cleanse him of his mortal weakness. I saw as his skin and clothes burned off, revealing the reddish skin of an imp below. He pulled the skin off of his hands like a glove, revealing needly claws, black as iron. He tore the skin away from his face, and cast it away. It lay crumpled on the street like a fleshy burlap sack. I stared up in horror, as bat wings extended from his back, and I saw him for what he truly was. Crooked, goat horns protruding from his temples, and long canine teeth that protruded all the way down to his chin, interlocking with the bottom teeth in a way that looked like crossing sabers. He had evil yellow eyes. Jerry laughed in booming, demonic voice.
“Pathetic mortal. You discovered my true nature. Few ponies sought reasons to fear my disguise, but only you saw through the truth. You are a clever pony. I’ll be sure to kill you last.” He waved his hand flippantly, and the beam of light evaporated into nothing.
I backed up, stammering. “You’re a… A…”
“An Incubus. I have come to bed all the virgin mares of your town, and then feast on their succulent flesh.” He licked his lips, only to sever his tongue on his razor sharp teeth. It laid wrigginlg on the ground until he picked it up, and reattached it to the bottom of his mouth. the flesh rejoined with a terrible hiss.
“You bastard! I’ll Kill you!” I pulled my trusty stake from my tool belt. I carved it out of the finest oak tree. I found it growing over the grave of a saint. For extra demon slaying power I misted it in garlic-infused olive oil daily, and taped it to a sawn off shotgun. I put the whole contraption in my mouth and charged heroically at the Incubus. “Stay away from my Lyra, you minion of Discord!!! And maybe Bon Bon too, I guess.”
He swatted my weapon away, and lifted me up by the throat. “Fool! I am no minion of Discord. I serve none but Korrak!” He proceeded to projectile vomit corrosive acid at the house. It ate away at the wall within seconds, revealing two ponies slumbering peacefully in their room.
“Really?”
“Actually, not really. I’m just a normal human, who’s trying to find his place in this world.” I found myself back on all fours, looking at Jerry, as I had known him for the past two and a half months, normal as can be. Damn, I really needed to stop huffing paint on the job. “Can I show you something, Lucky?”
“Uh, sure, I guess.” I looked back up at the house. The front wall was still missing, and there were blackened edges smoldering. I elected to not give the sight anymore thought.
Jerry produced a composition notebook, stuffed with post-it notes and worn binding. “I’ve been writing this, in case any other humans find themselves in my situation.” He handed me the book, and I read the title, Jerry’s declassified Equestria survival guide (for wayward humans) . I took a peak inside the first page. It was taken up by one sentence, written as large as possible. 1). Don’t kill Fluttershy’s Chickens.
I whirled around, and delivered a buck to his stomach, he grunted, and fell against the wall. The wall that just so happened to be part of a certain Pokey Pierce’s house. “Listen, you greasy morlock. You’re in for a world of hurt.”

Expect new update soonish. 2-3 weeks soonish.

-Trump Card

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