Friendship is Card Games: Princess Twilight Sparkle

Well, it's the day after a new episode, and according to my feed, that means it's time for reviews.

Yeah, we've got enough of those. I'm not about to hop on an overstuffed bandwagon full of people who are better at this whole "criticism" thing than I am. Fan of most everything = easily pleased audience = reviews that are boring to read. No one wants a weekly repetition of "I liked it!" However, that's how I feel about every episode that doesn't have the word "Well" in its name.

As such, I'm turning to a known strength of mine, making up Magic cards. You can go to other folks for opinions on the episode. I'll be supplying hypothetical cardboard. Starting now:

Overprotection W
Enchantment
When Overprotection enters the battlefield, exile target legendary creature until Overprotection leaves the battlefield.
"Equestria needs a princess, Twilight. We can't afford to lose you."
—Applejack, Bearer of Honesty

Tactical Pronk W
Instant
Untap target creature. Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to that creature this turn.
It's surprisingly hard to hit a bouncing target.

Canterlot Stalwarts 3WW
Creature — Unicorn Soldier
Vigilance
W, T: The next time damage would be dealt to target legendary creature this turn, that damage is dealt to Canterlot Stalwarts instead.
They live and die in the service of the princesses.
2/5

Raise the Sun XWW
Sorcery
Until end of turn, up to X target creatures become white and gain vigilance and "Whenever this creature attacks, tap target creature defending player controls."
Celestia's armies rise with her sun, and Equestria's enemies are blinded by their magnificence.

Inexplicable Seat Belt U
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature with flying
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, target attacking creature gains flying until end of turn.
"I didn't bother asking why it was there. I was just glad it was."
—Spike

Magic Amok U
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Any player may activate enchanted creature's activated abilities. (The player who activates the ability controls it.)
The spreading Everfree took a crude pleasure in toying with the magic of unicorns.

Postal Pegasus 2U
Creature — Pegasus Scout
Flying
2U: The next time you would draw a card this turn, draw two cards instead.
Neither hail nor sleet nor botanical apocalypse will keep these messengers from their appointed rounds.
1/1

Search the Shelves X1UU
Sorcery
Look at twice X cards from the top of your library. Put half of them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.
"When in doubt, research."
—Princess Twilight Sparkle

Ray of Torment 1B
Instant
Target creature gets -3/-1 until end of turn. Tap that creature.
Nightmare Moon would not end Celestia before the sun princess had felt every agony Luna had endured.

Ominous Eclipse XBB
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast Ominous Eclipse, pay X life.
Black creatures you control get +X/+X until end of turn.
Darkness falls, and its minions rise.

Raise the Moon XBB
Sorcery
Until end of turn, up to X target creatures become black and gain intimidate and lifelink.
Luna's armies rise with her moon, and Equestria's enemies are taught to fear the shadows.

Crumble Society 2R
Sorcery
Creatures of the creature type of your choice can't block this turn.
"The princesses are equinity's lynchpins. Remove them, and all that's left is a bunch of skittish herd animals."
—Discord

Thorny Thunderhead 3RR
Creature — Elemental
Flying, double strike
Whenever Thorny Thunderhead blocks or becomes blocked by a creature, Thorny Thunderhead deals 1 damage to that creature.
The Everfree's clouds don't let themselves get pushed around.
1/3

Discord's Obfuscation 4R
Instant
Target player exiles all cards from his or her hand face down. At the beginning of the next end step, that player returns those cards to his or her hand, then draws two cards.
Chaotic 2R (You may cast this card for its chaotic cost. If you do, choose its targets at random.)

Dissent in the Ranks 5R
Sorcery
Target creature fights another target creature with the same controller.
Bad ideas strike twice: once when acting on them, once when assigning blame.

Aerial Amateurism 1G
Instant
Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt by creatures with flying this turn.
"I'll get the hang of these things eventually. Until then, well… listen for the screams."
—Princess Twilight Sparkle

Sporespitter 3G
Creature — Plant
Vigilance
G, T: Prevent all damage that Sporespitter and each creature blocking or blocked by it would deal this turn.
Some flowers seem to invite you to smell them. Some don't give you a choice.
2/3

Everfree Encroachment 3GG
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy target nonbasic, noncreature permanent. If you do, search your library for a basic Forest card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, and shuffle your library.
Finally unfettered, nature was free to make its inexorable way across Equestria.

Sow Mayhem 4G
Sorcery
Target player reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals two land cards. That player puts those cards onto the battlefield and the rest into his or her graveyard.
Chaotic 2G

Antithesis Synthesis XG
Sorcery
Search your library for a creature card with converted mana cost X or less that doesn't share a color with the mana spent to cast Antithesis Synthesis, put that card onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library.
For every actor, there is an equal and opposite reactor.

Commemorative Window 3
Artifact
3, T: Choose target instant or sorcery spell you cast from your hand. Exile that spell as it resolves. As long as that card is exiled, Commemorative Window loses this ability and has "X, T: You may cast the exiled card without paying its mana cost. X is that card's converted mana cost."

Pastsight Potion 1BG
Artifact
1BG, T: Return a card at random from your graveyard to your hand.
4BG, T, Exile Pastsight Potion: Exile all cards from your graveyard. You may cast cards exiled this way this turn. Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control this turn, it gains haste. At the beginning of the next end step, exile all permanents under your control that entered the battlefield from exile this turn.

Discord, Allegedly Reformed 1WBR
Planeswalker — Discord
+1: Draw a card, then discard a card unless you pay 2 life.
0: Put the top three cards of your library into your graveyard. You gain 3 life.
-7: Choose one or both, then shuffle your library — Exchange your graveyard and library; or search your library for two cards and put them into your hand.
3

Continual Equinox 2WB
Enchantment
White creatures you control get +0/+2.
Black creatures you control get +2/+0.
Only during the most pivotal moments of history have the sun and moon shared Ungula's sky.

Cragadile 2(bg)R
Creature — Elemental Crocodile
Swampwalk, forestwalk
If the Everfree has a mind, it is clearly one that loves puns.
3/3

Clash of Heroes 2RW
Instant
Cast Clash of Heroes only before attackers are declared.
Legendary creatures attack and block this turn if able.
Nonlegendary creatures can't attack or block this turn.
There are times when a chosen few will determine the fate of the world. Everyone else just tries to stay out of their way.

Plundervines 2GU
Creature — Plant
You may choose not to untap Plundervines during your untap step.
GU, T: Tap target permanent. For as long as Plundervines remains tapped, that permanent loses all abilities and doesn't untap during its controller's untap step .
2/3

Tree of Harmony 2GWU
Legendary Creature — Plant Avatar
Defender
All permanents have hexproof and indestructible.
Any player can activate Tree of Harmony's activated abilities.
Tree of Harmony's activated abilities can target permanents with hexproof as though they didn't have hexproof.
(2b): Target permanent loses indestructible until end of turn.
(2r): Target permanent loses hexproof until end of turn.
1/12

Comments

[Psykosis]

Fan of most everything = easily pleased audience = reviews that are boring to read. No one wants a weekly repetition of "I liked it!" However, that's how I feel about every episode that doesn't have the word "Well" in its name.

That is the exact same way that I feel, and you have no idea how glad I am to hear that someone else feels the same way.

[G S tol Kriaal]

I have not watched the episodes. Will doing so explain what a "plonk" is?

Neither hail nor sleet nor botanical apocalypse will keep these messengers from their appointed rounds.

Do not ask us about manticores, chocolate rain, big green things with teeth, or Mrs. Cake

Oh, and you forgot Discord's starting loyalty

[Bardic_Knowledge]

Can I use some of these for my set? I'll give credit in the description.

[FanOfMostEverything]

1536381
The only thing worse than the Idiot Ball is the Jerk Ball, and any story that hands that to the protagonist is not one I'm going to enjoy.

1536453
Pronking is a technical term for Pinkie's Pepe le Pew-like bouncing about. While not usually associated with ponies, I've seen it used on Fimfiction before, and it's such a fun word that I added it to my vocabulary the moment I encountered it. Plus, it kind of sounds like what it means. Pronk pronk, pronk pronk.

I should write something in Sideboard about the Equestrian postal system's fraught relationship with Mrs. Cake.

Also, thanks for the catch on Discord. As the card now indicates, he starts with three Rainbow Dashes loyalty.

[nemryn]

1536453
No, but Wikipedia will! (It's that bouncy thing Pinkie does.)

[FanOfMostEverything]

1536558
Go right ahead! So long as credit is given where it's due, I'm always happy to have others use my ideas. Besides, every Magic set is a collaboration.

[Speckle]

OoOoOoOo, I like