I guess we all make mistakes · 9:20am Mar 14th, 2014
First off, my apologies.
After some reflection I have decided it would be best for me to take down the most recent chapter of Bad Mondays in preparation of a substantial rewrite, (or potential scrapping) before I finish off this arc and move on to the next interlude chapter.
It is no secret I have been having trouble writing these recent chapters and indeed, most of them I don't even like (despite how well received they were). I had not, however, anticipated the overall negative reaction to this chapter.
Suffice it to say I had given it some thought and decided I handled it far too poorly for it to be acceptable and people ended up getting the wrong idea. The entire point of the conversation was to, first off, put Handy on edge by destroying what little preconceptions he had about the world he was in and secondly, deal with the entire multiverse issue, which has always been a pet peeve of mine.
I have always hated the multiverse explanation for how the plot's events were put in motion in stories, its lazy and I do not care for it and hence wanted to try something different for Bad Mondays. The single universe thing was never going to be a central issue of the plot going forward as much as it was an explanation to fit in with the rest of the worldbuilding.
I thought using Discord would be useful for this but I was mistaken, being a trickster and known liar in the show (but not known to Handy, who only knew Discord as this really weird thing that turned his cloak pink that one time), I had thought people would suspect something else was going on when Discord decided to give the human a pep talk, and all the references to Twilight's interview should have been a dead give away that the scent of bullshit was on the air, especially with the handshake.
Long story short here's what I am confirming without spoiling anything else:
-Humans are not inherently magical
-Humans can be affected by magic. Hence, Vampirism
-Magic may or may not be a universal force, we only had Discord's word on the matter which is dubious at best.
-The universe is one. Sort of.
-Handyman is very tired and should be doing his job rather then writing a blog post but fuck da police.
-The nonsense talk about the veils actually held some water
If I do end up scrapping the chapter I'll find some other way to make the concepts gel into the story that hopefully won't be as jarring or confusing. As it stands, looking at it from a narrative perspective, its currently looking like it will cause more problems then its worth.
Go home Handy. You're drunk.
Also, you should send a chapter to a beta to get a reaction from them before you post the next chapter, and if you still feel iffy about it, then send it to two others. Enlisting readers that aren't afraid to criticize your work to help you improve is very helpful. Plus it gets rid of those pesky run-on sentences of yours.
1924704 But but I love my run on sentences, *sniff* I don't want to give up on my babies!
But in all seriousness though, you're probably right. I guess I was just so used to pumping these things out with only myself to proofread them, the thought of getting a beta never really occured to me.
1924726 Yeah, I was the same with my first attempts at fanfiction until I proofread it and realized how shit it was. Now though? I'm a Russian grammar Nazi. 'Nuff said.
If you want, I could be a beta for you, though I'm probably going to be on on occasion, what with my job....
*throws cheese at Handyman*
1924728 Well I started this story as just a way to get back into practicing writing again. If you feel you're up to it I'll send my next chapter your way for a proofread before uploading it.
*eats the cheese*
1924739 Sweet. Oh, and that cheese was for that whine of yours, if you didn't get it.
1924742 Oh i got it, it was merely uncouth to consume both at the same time.
1924766 But of course. *sips tea* Care for some? It's black.
1924767 I would love some!
1924775 "Ah, but of course!" With a flourish, an entire tea set appears out of nowhere, complete with little cheese cubes and slices of pepperoni and ham. As well as a jar of peanut butter, of all things. "There you are, my dear friend. Enjoy!"
1924778 ...Ok... Sure why not?
It wasn't that bad, taught you did the edge part pretty poorly. You are trying bit too hard to be edgy in last few chapters.
Also getting drunk with discord should had been more fun. Dark and brooding Discord did seem out of character a bit.
Only the only parts I liked about story, seem to be the parts you disliked.I admit that there was too much telling, not showing with the universe descriptions, at least in my opinion. Have Discord levitate some oranges with windows in them for demonstration or something like that.
I would say I would proofread for you, but as you can tell, my grammar and ideas usually are not that good.
Good luck writing, and have fun.
I can't wait till we can read another great chapter from you.