Decisions · 6:41am Jun 21st, 2014
Throughout what I'll go ahead and call a "dry spell" in my writing, I've come to all of you with excuses, reasons, good intentions and tiding both good and bad. What I haven't delivered, however, is anything by way of the next story in my series. It does bother me, all these long waits, but I'm not writing this to once more bring to the table further excuses. I won't apologize yet again for the weeks and months that you've all spent with nothing by way of updates; I think you're all very much aware by now just how much my apparent inability to make consistent progress brings me regret. Neither will I attempt to justify the silence, because you've all told me time and again that I need to take care of what's happening in my own life before worrying about trying to please the masses. After quite a number of changes over the last few months, I have reached a decision.
...I'm quitting my job so I can write.
Is it risky? Yes. Is it fiscally irresponsible? Perhaps. If something dire happens and I'm in need of medical care, will I be able to pay for it? Probably not. Do I care? No... no, not so much. Writing was once my passion, but passion is smothered when buried under distraction, and there's no way I'll ever be able to finish any endeavor if I don't devote myself to it.
For those who appreciate a more thorough explanation, I'll elaborate. For lack of a better way to say it, I've become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Working at a grocery store isn't at all what I'd like to see myself doing in ten years, and yet despite my loathing for customer service, I've done nothing to move towards getting out of that field and looking for something better. I'm convinced that the reason for this is because I've a very high tolerance for inconvenience, and it's simply "easier" to bear another day of drudgery than to stand up, face the fear of doing something different, and try to find the path to a better place. Dreams, however, aren't always as far off as they appear, and a little effort is all it takes sometimes to start a chain reaction.
I recently acquired a second, part-time job working at a small little company that my father works for. It's nothing amazing, less than 20 hours a week and just barely above minimum wage, but the nature of the work and the stress-free environment makes it a much more healthy place for me to work. I'm often involved in boring, repetitive tasks that free my mind to wander, and on the whole I just straight up appreciate the time I spend there far more than when I work for the grocery store. The owner of the company has also made it evident that she'd like to do what she can to help me along, likely due to my father's 20+ years working for the company, and as a result she has begun paying my medical insurance bill, which was around 160$ a month. That's a huge load off my shoulders, but then she made an even more generous offer, one that I feel would be criminal to ignore. She offered to pay for tuition and books if I decided to return to college.
As those of you who are in college can probably imagine, I was nothing short of stunned. This was a recent revelation, and one of which I still don't know all the details. Obviously, I can't imagine her paying for some exorbitantly expensive university, as that would be ridiculous to think considering how small that company is (literally four employees including me), and I'm fairly sure the deal is only good if I'm working there, which means I'd have to stay local. That being said, I've been wanting to return to college for some time now, and if this isn't a golden opportunity, I don't know what is. I've got a lot of questions, and a lot of fears. Facing the unknown and stepping outside the norm of my routine has always been something that I've struggled to do, but if I never face anything that'd difficult, then I will continue to stagnate and atrophy. I've come to realize that there is a lot of growing up for me to do, and it starts with forcing myself to make the right decisions regardless of how it feels. If I want a brighter future than spending another ten years in a dead end job, then I damn well better pick myself up and fight for it.
While some could argue that I should then be working towards publishing something for profit, my desire to finish the fan fiction series I've started here stems from multiple desires of my own. It would be a tremendous accomplishment by any account to finish what I've started, especially when it has grown far beyond what I imagined it would when I began typing the first chapter of "Tears." I want to be able to look back on the time I invested here not as something that I ultimately failed, but as something with which I struggled and prevailed. Even more than that, there are a number of you who, both in comments and PMs, have told me how much my stories have touched your hearts. I apologize to those that I haven't managed to personally reply to, but to think that the hours I spent could maybe, somehow, give another hope... well, it's difficult to think of a better way to spend my free time. I want, selfishly perhaps, to finish this, and the only way that's going to happen is if I sit down and make it happen. And so, my decision stands. I will leave behind the comfort of the norm and force myself to find shelter in change, and in so doing give myself the opportunity once more to pursue my goals and my dreams.
...and all you wonderful people have to do is keep being awesome.
Thank you to everyone who has stuck around through the silence. The time has come for me to finish this.
Oh, and I'll be releasing chapters 1 and 2 of the next story very soon, as a means of whetting your appetites. I'll put in the disclaimer here that the first two chapters were written literally a year ago, so you'll notice that the style doesn't exactly match my current manner, but that will change chapters 3 and forward. I sincerely hope that I can make the last three stories worth the wait.
Hope all turns out great for you
So long as you're okay, that's all that matters. It's a relief to hear from you either way.
Wow. You are a brave person to actually stand up and step into the unknown. No matter what happens, I, and countless others, will be here to support you.
You, sir, are awesome. Never stop.
wish you well in your indevers
Congratulations, and good luck!
You're a kind soul for feeling guilt at all when we're getting your time and effort for free.
The owner of that company sounds like an unusually generous person. In your position, I would also take up her offer. Other than that, I don't know what else to recommend other than to work hard at the company, make a point of asking what else you can do to help, and just in general watching and learning how the business operates. It might also be helpful to make a record of the different tasks you've completed to use in future job interviews. In case they want examples of how you've resolved different challenges.
Sticking with a job that you hate is no way to live—the damage it does to a person long-term is evident in members of my own family. I'm glad you're taking steps to correct it, and I can't give you a fist bump in person so you'll just have to imagine that a dark-haired guy in a Castlevania shirt has just given you one.
Oh wow, that really is a good opportunity, it is definitely not something to pass up.
Dang, kudos on falling and landing on your feet covered in roses. I'm sure you'll do great.
Yeah, I'd quit the grocery store, too. That's an amazing offer, I would definately take it. And just to let you know, every story in the Tears storyline is in my favorites. I can't wait for the next story to be added to the list. But, if you decide to do the college offer, if you have to choose which to spend more time on, choose college, because it'll help in the long run. Also, have you considered publishing your stories in that storyline as a book series?
You rock. I know what it is like to work in a grocery store and hate working with people.
More power to you.
What?! I mean, I know you love writing, but this seems like way too much of a sacrifice to give us free entertainment! You should publish a real book or something, it seems unfair for you to take this much of a risk to write FANFICTION.
FAN
FICTION
While I would love to see more of your work, I'm a bit worried.
Dude, you're awesome! We all love you and I totally support your decision! Yeah!
Best of wishes in this all working out.
You are an amazing writer and I (along with probably everyone else who has read them) can't wait for the next ones to come out. When your last three stories fill us with wonder and sheer amazement from the twists and turns of the characters we have come to know and love, I personally will be shedding a tear at the knowledge that there will be no more... But I will be thanking you for giving me something to lift my spirits at the end of a long Navy day. You thank us for reading, but I want to thank you for doing what you do. Thank you
I wish you all the best and look forward to reading your new story.
I still think that you could be a well known author or even write screenplays. Your writing is absolutely amazing! Continue doing what you love and I'm sure that something will work out
sometimes, i wish there's a like button in blogs.
but oh well~
it's really wonderful to hear/see/read that you're doing great~
No matter how long the wait, no matter what they are, they'll be worth it to all of us, because it's from you. You have and will make a lot of people happy, Ceru, and we're glad to see you doing better.
Auuughhh...............
Please, be careful about this?
If you need to, get a job if you cannot afford things, ok?
Yes, following your passion is a good thing to do...But the risks are very prevalent..But, you understand this.
Just promise that, if you have no other choice, you will find a job?
You've been given the opportunity of a lifetime, you should totally have your way with it!
-Missy
Best of luck. I just discovered your series, and I think you have great potential as a writer. Have a great time, in whatever you choose to pursue.
You are right.
We, as your readers, want what is best for our fellows.
I think you made the right choice as my writing suffered catastrophically due to me splitting my attention in to many directions.
Though my recent somewhat success has shown me taking time away to simply write like I use to is key.
I believe it will truly be a game changer in your life that you are taking this time to yourself and would like to let you know that I am rereading (for the sixth time) my favorite fiction in your series Under the Starry Skies. It has been a constant return fiction for me over the month and I do love it ever so much.
Truly, good luck out there.