Yonder Vents About: Wish Fulfillment (and Boy Toys) · 3:59pm Aug 17th, 2014

I have a whopping sixteen followers and I doubt I'll ever get Regidar-famous no matter how hard I try. But I've just got to get this out of my system and maybe some day when a fellow brony is scrounging around the blogs and stories of the nobody-accounts like mine they'll find it and perhaps agree with me.

This isn't about wish fulfillment in the broad term. HiE stories inspired by it can be written well.

This is about the 1st-world problems of those kinds of stories. Mainly this started while I was reading the work of MadMaxtheBlack's "Your Human and You". I added it to my favorites list what feels like a long time ago because it seemed really interesting and I planned to read it as soon as I got off work (a place where internet access is allowed, but its not exactly a judgement free zone if a coworker sees pinkie pie on your screen). I added it to favorites instead of the read-later list because that list stands at a current count of 3032 due to forgetfulness and click-happy glee when I first discovered the button with the promise to myself of "I'll read this later today, for sure" every time until I finally learned to stop lying to myself.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to say I regret adding it or anything like that. Its got a compelling idea and I like it enough that I'm currently at the Stunt Day interlude and going strong. But the interactions between Max (the human) and the various ponies such as - any of the Mane 6 you care to name, Cheerliee, and Mrs. Cake are the names that come to mind - reminded me of something.

Summarize it?

All the mares want Max's body.

Max's concern? Being unnerved by the sheer volume of mares who want to have sex with him.

I'll be honest when I say I'm not the most attractive man out there. I got a big forehead (hell, I got a big head), I often forget to shave but never really let it get out into anything that looks like a respectable beard, I look terrible with long hair but grow it out for Locks of Love anyways, and - well you get the point. So my big problem has never been too many women. What kind of first-world luxury life do you lead when your first reaction to swarms of women wanting your body is groaning about how you just don't want to have sex with them?

Note, I said "wanting your body" and not "wanting you".

There is a difference.

These mares aren't interested in Max's personality. They aren't interested in his potential charm or wit. They aren't interested in any of those things because they literally think he is nothing more than a loyal pet no more intelligent or sentient than the average dog or house cat. With that last part making it even worse. They don't want Max. They want his body. You could swap Max out for a particularly girthy bit of branch and so long as they didn't get splinters, these mares probably wouldn't complain about the trade save for maybe the fact that the branch doesn't have a toned stomach.

And his reaction is that he is just is unnerved so many mares want to have sex with him.

In my opinion? Like I said I've never lived through something so torturous as being swamped by women eager to be in my company (for my body). But I don't think my chief complaint would be the number of women who want my body.

My chief complaint would be that I'm a piece of meat to them.

That I serve, in their eyes, literally no other purpose than to insert myself into their body. That they don't care what I get out of it or what I think of the situation. They just want to get off and they see me as the most suitable tool, yes tool, to achieve that goal.

To MadMax, if you stumble across this post or one of your other readers stumbles across it and brings it to your attention, please don't take this as a personal attack or deriding your story. Its still a good story, even if I have a problem with something in it. Every single story does and even the greatest have something folks find they feel is wrong or poorly executed. I'm still going to read the story and I think you should keep on writing it.

This was just - getting it out of my system. Your Human and You" isn't the first story to do this and its by far one of the more mild cases. It was just the straw that broke the camels back and I don't have any problems with the author or anything that gets to me about the story that would make me stop reading it.

Just . . . needed to vent that.

And anyways, its 1100 in the AM and I finished a 12-hour overnight shift about four hours ago. I need to get to bed for a while if I plan to write anymore today.

Its going to be a pain sleeping through the rush of so many Kickstarts, though.