MLP Rule 34 Repost: Dec. 2012 / UK not okay with BDSM · 7:16pm Dec 5th, 2014
Since my December 2012 Rule 34 Update was deleted a long time ago for some reason, I wanted to go ahead and repost it here. Please note that my Rule 34 update for December 2014 will appear on the tenth. I just wanted to repost a two-year-old blog update which was removed.
It's that time again. On the fifth of each month, I set aside some time to record Rule 34 statistics. 
For those who missed the previous entries, I've archived them below.
August 2012
September 2012
October 2012
November 2012
As of Dec. 5, 2012, here's the state of Rule 34, according to Rule34.paheal.net:
Pokemon still holds the lead with 54,411 images. 845 new explicit images were added during November, giving Pokemon a 1.6% increase in porn from last month.
Touhou is in second place with 32,530 images. 793 new explicit images were added during November, giving Touhou a 2.5% increase in porn from last month.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is in third place with 21,126 images. 1,961 new explicit images were added during November, giving My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic a 9.3% increase in porn from last month.
DC Comics is in fourth place with 18,455 images. 357 new explicit images were added during November, giving DC Comics a 1.9% increase in porn from last month.
Street Fighter is in fifth place with 14,457 images. 336 new explicit images were added during November, giving Street Fighter a 2.3% increase in porn from last month.
Marvel Comics is in sixth place with 13,399 images. 244 new explicit images were added during November, giving Marvel Comics a 1.8% increase in porn from last month.
Naruto is in seventh place with 11,909 images. 438 new explicit images were added during November, giving Naruto a 3.7% increase in porn from last month.
Sonic Team is in eighth place with 10,953 images. 91 new explicit images were added during November, giving Sonic Team a 0.8% increase in porn from last month.
Digimon is in ninth place with 10,333 images. 99new explicit images were added during November, giving Digimon a 0.9% increase in porn from last month.
Since I started keeping track of Rule 34 trends, the previous highest month of MLP porn production took place during August. 1,941 new images were made during that month. As time wore on, the numbers of pony porn slowly started to decrease.
Now, with the third season in full swing, I think we can look forward to MLP trending in the near future. November marked the highest amount of MLP Rule 34, with 1,961 new images being added in one month. While the series only beat its previous record by twenty, I feel confident that the numbers will only continue to increase as we move towards the season three finale.
In all honesty, I expected the numbers for November to be higher than they were. I'm still waiting for MLP porn to generate more than 2,000 new images in one month. It hasn't happened since I've been watching, but I'd like to think it'll happen before the season's over.
Here's an update on Rule 34 for the mane six:
Twilight Sparkle 
has 3,319 images. 288 explicit images were added during November, Giving her an 8.7% increase from last month.
Rainbow Dash 
has 2,987 images. 217 explicit images were added during November, Giving her a 7.3% increase from last month.
Pinkie Pie 
has 2,647 images. 194 explicit images were added during November, Giving her an 7.3% increase from last month.
Fluttershy :
has 2,501 images. 231 explicit images were added during November, Giving her a 9.2% increase from last month.
Rarity 
has 2,034 images. 196 explicit images were added during November, Giving her a 9.6% increase from last month.
Applejack 
has 1,924images. 212 explicit images were added during November, Giving her a 11% increase from last month.
Twilight still holds her title as the queen of pony porn, but how does she measure up against the titans of T&A? How do her purple petals compare to the rulers of Rule 34? Fortunately, the Nostalgia Critic (Doug Walker) comprised a list of the Top 11 Hottest Animated Women. How do they stack up in terms of Rule 34? (Source: Rule34.paheal.net)
Rule 34 images of Linka from Captain Planet: 24
Rule 34 images of The Baroness from G.I. Joe: 234
Rule 34 images of Sailor Moon (Usagi_Tsukino) from Sailor Moon: 1,409*
Rule 34 images of Harley Quinn from Batman: 1,453
Rule 34 images of Hello Nurse from Animaniacs: 80
Rule 34 images of Cheetara from Thundercats: 454
Rule 34 images of Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo: 1,070**
Rule 34 images of April O'Neil from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: 621
Rule 34 images of Rogue from X-Men: 1,466
Rule 34 images of Ariel and Jasmine from The Little Mermaid and Aladdin, respectively: Ariel - 1,220, Jasmine - 1,400***
Rule 34 images of Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit: 2,127
Twilight Sparkle trumps all of them with 3,319 explicit images. 
*The show Sailor Moon has a total of 7,421 explicit images. The show's main character, Usagi_Tsukino, has 1,409 explicit images.
**Interesting aside, Velma Dinkley has more porn than Daphne, with Velma garnering 1,442 explicit images. Nerd power!
***The Nostalgia Critic omitted Belle from the list. Belle, from Beauty and the Beast, only has 561 explicit images. I guess showing your navel really does make a difference.
That's all for now!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Pony porn has come a long way in the last two years. Since we're on the subject of smut, I'd like to take this opportunity to add to the original blog post by discussing a recent development.
Warning! The following news story contains allusions to sexual acts!
UK pornographers were recently censored through an amendment to the 2003 Communications Act. The Audiovisual Media Services Regulations 2014 requires that video-on-demand (VoD) online porn now adhere to the same guidelines laid out for DVD sex shop-type porn by the British Board of Film Censors (BBFC). The board's ruling on 'content that is not acceptable' effectively bans the following acts from being depicted by British pornographers:
Spanking
Caning
No spanking or caning? Are we sure that the BBFC didn't confuse porn with classroom discipline? While I agree that preschool teachers shouldn't spank or cane their students, there's no reason why those elements should be banned in porn involving consenting adults.
Aggressive whipping
So is nonaggressive whipping permitted? How is that any better than spanking or caning?
Penetration by any object "associated with violence"
"Objects associated with violence?" Do penises count? Seriously, how do you define a term as nebulous as an object's association with violence?
Physical or verbal abuse (regardless of if consensual)
Remember that old BDSM nursery rhyme? "Whips and cane may bring me pain, but words will never hurt me." How soft have we become when harsh words are deemed inappropriate for porn? Some people enjoy rough talk during sex, but you can't depict that in British porn.
Urolagnia (known as "water sports")
In fairness, I can see some heath risks associated with water sports. It's never been a fetish of mine, but for those who enjoy it, there should be a way to depict it in a safe fashion as opposed to banning it outright.
Role-playing as non-adults
This is just baffling to me. Consenting adults should be able to role-play as whatever they want. Why set limits on the imagination?
Physical restraint
Why? Is it out of fear that someone will watch porn involving restraints and then go out and try to restrain unwilling people? If the BBFC wants to remain consistent, then they should use the same insane logic on their films and television. No imitable behavior.
Humiliation
The porn stars are getting paid for their efforts. If humiliation is deemed inappropriate, then we should ban most reality television... I suppose this news story has a silver lining. If we can use this ruling to ban all reality TV, then it will all have been worth it.
Female ejaculation
This is just sexist.
Strangulation
Facesitting
Fisting
The final three banned sexual acts fall under the BBFC views as potentially "life-endangering." That's all well and good, but where would we be if action stars avoided life-endangering stunts?
I want to see daring porn stars risk life and limb for dick and quim! For the record, I'm not advocating for snuff films. I don't want to see anyone get hurt, but if people who have trained their bodies want to take calculated risks with consenting adults, they should be allowed to follow their passions.
While the measures won't stop people from watching whatever genre of porn they desire, as videos from other countries can still be viewed, they do impose severe restrictions on content created in the UK, and appear to make no distinction between consensual and non-consensual practices between adults. What's even more troubling is that the amendment seems to take issue with acts from which women more traditionally derive pleasure than men.
In a piece for The Independent, award-winning erotic film director Erika Lust said that she believes "we need to rethink what is offensive or dangerous and what is, in fact, normal human nature, and remember that it’s more important to educate than regulate."
The Department for Culture, Media & Sport insists the BBFC's R18 certificate is a "tried and tested" method for protecting children. "The legislation provides the same level of protection to the online world that exists on the high street in relation to the sale of physical DVDs," a spokesperson said, "In a converging media world these provisions must be coherent, and the BBFC classification regime is a tried and tested system of what content is regarded as harmful for minors."
This is madness. The BBFC is imposing restrictions on an entertainment industry based on an audience who shouldn't be watching porn in the first place. Might as well remove violence and language from R-rated movies in case a child sneaks into the theater.
And to think I once praised Brittan's rating system when compared to the USA.
God, damn. How is someone gonna fap with all these restrictions? I don't think I can go one day with out my rough language in bed.
How the fuck do you ban female ejaculation in porn?
What I got out of this: Jackie Chan is fucking crazy.
Bunch of old fuddy duddies who have no clue what they are doing, trying to 'protect' us Brits. Without realizing that we can still access porn from other countries via online, not to mention that this is going to effect the economy.
Makes me embarrassed to be British, frankly. Absurd restrictions.
I confess the main one that makes me laugh is the "No caning or spanking" Considering one of Britain's main stereotypes is mousy men who like to sneak off to the caning brothel on a quiet evening.
I would really like to know more about how their panel is selected and who sits on it, as well as how they came to the decisions they chose.
I mean, was this a reaction to a rise of injuries caused by people viewing this sort of material? What sort of consideration was placed on whether this could have a significant effect of their porn creators. Were alternate options considered, or is that not part of their job? I
I feel like it's very easy to mock this council and take the mickey out of them, but I'm genuinely interested to know more.
Aww yis, my favorite part of the month. That said, it was very sad to see the British government put such regulations on their porn. Especially since, with regulations against facesitting, female ejaculation, and the like, it seems as if they don't want women to enjoy anything in porn besides receiving penetrative sex, which many women can't even orgasm from. Plus, with the recent pedophilia scandals in the British government, it seems very hypocritical that they want to regulate what we can watch consenting adults doing while the government officials continue to diddle kids. A very sad day for democracy.
I honestly wonder if they're just trying to everything they can, within the framework of British Law, to effectively the production of pornography in the UK.
If you assume the regulator think all porn is bad and the only reason not to just ban all of it is free speech rights, then what they're doing serves that agenda brilliantly. A real win for the "good guys."
(I'm not hugely familiar with British law in these matters, or any other matters.)
This sounds an awful lot like someone read 50 shades of grey, assumed that the BDSM practices contained within were an accurate representation of those practiced by the industry, and moved to block.
From an economic standpoint, this isn't going to help the government any. If local production is prevented from filming this kind of material, then those who watch it, and their pound will just move to overseas sourcing of their porn. Local sex shops and the industry in general will suffer.
I don't necessarily approve of everything the porn industry does, but in the end if it is between two (or more) adults of legal age who have all understood and consented to what they are doing of their own will, then government should butt out.
2635495 It's like a ban on moving a steering wheel when driving a car.
But... that was like... months ago.
Sounds a little like the banning of movies they did back in the 80's. I hate to say it, but I start to feel like the brittish are ruled by a bunch of prudes who faint if they spot so much as a naked ankle at this point.
2635755
Repost
Oh wow. How will British pornographers attempt to fly under the radar? Maybe to get around the whole violent object thing, they'll resort to calling dildos things that aren't dildos. It'll be like role play or something.
Like, need an brutal on-the-fly object to shove in someone's anus in a rape scene? That's not a dildo. That's a "broken bottle".
Police brutality scene? Totes not a dildo. It's a "tonfa".
Home invasion? Not dildos. They're "guns" and "knives". Someone gets stabbed in the forehead later? They're now a "dildocorn"—I mean—"knifacorn".
G-spot curvy dildo? Naw, it's a "cattle prod" for collecting semen.
Excessively large dildo sword? No, it's a "baseball bat" to play baseball with someone anally.
A dildo attached to an electric drill? No, dammit! It's an electric drill so very improperly used.
Is that a pear? No, it's a "vaginal pear". Look, just pretend. Getting a rubber vibrating dildo that blossoms like that is fucking expensive. That's almost fucking machine territory.
As for female ejaculation, dress up as Transformers. It is no longer is it female ejaculate, it's now "sky drool". Don't know what it is? It eats through shoes, that's what it do.
2635486
I dunno. Force yourself to have a really stupid fetish that no one can ever ban. Like a "watch paint dry" fetish. Or a "watching dogs catch frisbies" fetish. Or a "hearing magpies jabbering" fetish. Or a "smelling freshly baked cheery pie" fetish. Or a "door opening" fetish" (FUCKING AUTOMATIC DOORS MY BALLS ARE EMPTY).
Also, learn to fap without using your hands. Like, do it psychically or something. Ejaculate without physically touching yourself. In fact learn to ejaculate while limp. Hell, learn to orgasm while blowing dry. That way, nobody will learn that you get off to folding chairs being unfolded. There will be no evidence, thus proactively fighting against the banhammer men (the villainous scoundrels!).
Fuck, I cannot think of a serious answer to this fucktarded issue.
Abstinance?
EWW...
2635829
oh?
2635503
Any governing body that feels this is an important enough issue to pass laws on should be mocked. There are far more important things a government should be focusing on. Unemployment, wage inequality, renewable energy, healthcare. Hell, the fucking cost of cheese is more important than what people do or don't watch in their alone times.
2635869
I can't tell if this comment is sarcastic or aggressive
2636382
I was a bit bitter when I was writing this. Guess it's a bit too bitter and angry looking. Sarcasm? Oh yeah. I was going for humour, though
2638928
Ah. Well I took tsa joke anyway
"In fairness, I can see some heath risks associated with water sports."
Urine is sterile.
There is no risk from watersports unless you have a serious metabolic problem which prevents your body from dealing with salt and/or urea or if you have a bladder or urinary tract infection or some types of STI.
Kissing or just having normal sex have much greater health risks.