Journal Log · 8:23pm Dec 27th, 2014
This blog post will serve as somewhat of a semi-private journal of sorts.
Semi-private in the way that it is still being posted as public, but without the expectation or intention that anyone will read it.
In any case, if there is someone out here that actually is going to read this, I advise you look elsewhere then. Especially anyone from the Writer's Group. You already have made your own opinions clear with regards to my own, however controversial. I won't be troubling the group for some bloody time at least. If you insist on reading this, then I suppose you will get a laugh or two at someone's expense. At this point I imagine there are those of you whom will claim that I am asking to get comments on this. To that, I suppose in some small way one would be correct. Though I am apathetic and disgruntled at this point. What difference does a few more comments make? It isn't as if anyone's opinions will be changed. I am counting on the eventual massive word length of this post will discourage most people from reading this blog post, as well as them having much better things to do than read this. It isn't anything more than something therapeutic at this point in time, voicing thoughts to an imaginary audience who might actually listen to at least some of my admitably scatter brained thoughts.
This blog post will periodically be updated, one to prevent spamming anyone that happens to be following me for whatever reason that is beyond me, and two, to rant with extreme measure somewhere that it may not be judged by the masses, at least not too many. Nobody ever reads the blog posts of a user on this site unless they are of great notoriety of the good kind anyhow.
Anyway, enough chit chat to myself I suppose.
December 27 2014
2:23 PM CST
Well, yet again my own controversial opinions on fanon itself and how it should be managed on the site have been thoroughly scalded by some of the more regular forum goers over there. After initiating contact with a user name Europa, I was initially under the impression that he would at least try and listen to some of my reasoning and logic, however faulty he may considered it before and after the fact. My second reply unfortunately was cut short by back paging by a good 800 words or so, more or less gutting whatever passion and wording that I put into it. (If passion is even the right word for this. Some would claim the mad ramblings of a madman.)
I left the second reply as it was to be left under construction, under the assumption that there would be no replies until it was fully reconstructed. My naivety on that account has been off my legs in a most thorough matter. The recent PM from Europa on that account has swiftly cut down any further attempts at communication. I would be lying if I said I wasn't bitter about this. I suppose it is a failure on my part to effectively articulate my own thoughts and opinions in a way that didn't piss everyone off, especially when I first began voicing my own opinions on forums on groups like the Twilight Library and Writer's Group.
All I have for my efforts these days is being labeled as a complete troll and hypocrite, especially in regards to how I still have the failures of my own stories still up. I suppose I still have some sense of attachment to them, if only to remind me of my own failings as a writer, and the futility of even writing fanfiction. I am labeled a hypocrite for even keeping them there. There is a point to that, no doubt. But then again, I haven't updated any of the fiction I have up here for over a year. That more or less means that they have all been canceled. One can only wonder how it has come to this point where I have come to posting such thoughts on forums, even if to no avail, perhaps out of the futile desire to have someone listen. Almost like some pitiful desperate plea that will go unanswered. Almost anyway, if it weren't for the fact that the conclusion was foregone anyway.
I am not even sure why I write this. Sure, it is to the benefit of myself, but why post it here? Surely a notepad document would suffice just as well. Hell, I imagine somewhere down the line this blog post will surely come and bite me back when someone will inevitably use this to piss over any arguments of mine, be it justified or otherwise.
I still feel resentment for those who discount all of my points, without even considering the validity of even a single point. Even when I concede ground on at least some areas with my opposition, though rare as that may be... Perhaps resentment is not the right word to define my own emotions on these many issues all bundled up into one that is hard for me to describe with words. My ineptitude to articulate my thoughts in an organized and methodical manner unfortunately has probably proven to my downfall on the forums many, many times.
I certainly feel angst over this. But is it even justified? Should I even bother trying anymore? Why even bother with interacting with others when my own thoughts and opinions are considered ultimately worthless by association? I see post to rebuke my own, yet the actions of many of those same people put them into doubt for me. Again, yet a failure on my part to pinpoint what my issue is with fanfiction community here as a whole. It does not help that my cynicism seems to be justified more often than not, even if it is sometimes proven to be but a false alarm.
The reason I post my thoughts on the forums as is in the current form that they are in is out of a desire to avoid future disappointment.
At least, one of those reasons. Fanon and head canon alike just seem so... Fragile. Worthless. One moment they exist. The next, they never were. Abandoned. Disappeared. What was the point in creating such creative pieces if ultimately they will be discarded? Sure, there are a few writers may keep to their guns for a little while, but it ultimately will mean nothing but fruitless efforts to be replaced by whatever canon has to offer. Thus, why I am so damned adamant that there be regulations in place to kill off these efforts before they even get off the ground. I wish to discourage the creation of any fanon or head canon that is liable to have its head chopped off later as a sacrificial lamb. Why must I invest time and effort into these pieces if their fate is to become nothing but fodder? The answer some will claim is not to read. Or even a very few cruel but probably justified minds may claim just to off myself in this case. (Figuratively, not literally.) Thinking apparently isn't healthy for me. Perhaps it would have been better just to slave away in physical labor, free of pesky thoughts and the like. Just mind numbing work until my body collapses from exhaustion, then any efforts to be buried and forgotten, not even a memory. Any angst? Deemed completely unjustified.
So why do I bother coming to this site? Is this out of masochistic behavior? Why the pointless introspection that has been not only proven, but also documented in psychology to be near completely worthless? Just fate in some cases I suppose. Though I do occasionally find some pieces of fanfiction that are at least nice to read, without fail the future works of the author will always drift towards honoring current canon in one way or another. Unique interpretations before that point be damned.
On a further note on this, could someone tell me who thought it was a good idea to write for a character such as Luna even when she only had two lines of dialogue back in 2011?
Considered a cute and vulnerable angst character until October of 2011.
Season 2 ultimately meant all of those works for that character before hand from the fans are completely worthless. What more, people hate that interpretation of Luna being vulnerable. I myself have come to despise the form and interpretation myself. Their creators? To a lesser degree. It isn't their fault completely. But I am still rather slighted by the fact they even attempted to write for that character anyhow. At this point, I just wish for it all to be burned and utterly erased. No point in keeping it anymore. Nobody reads such content, at least not many enough to warrant keeping around.
Alternate Universe seems to be a poor justification to me. It means that the content for me is by default to be considered jettisoned and not taken seriously whatsoever. If one were to try and write using that character interpretation, the inevitable barrage of comments would claim that you are desecrating that character in the fullest, the AU tag be damned. If anyone even still cared for that interpretation, then I imagine there would still be people writing for that interpretation, both either acknowledging or not acknowledging current canon.
Fanfiction that both branches off from the mainline, or continue with current canon. Existing side by side in harmony, filling the work of this community with enriched diversity. A bloody angst pipe dream if there ever was one. With that respect, there is no one to blame but myself for even become attached to fictional characters that do not even exist. I suppose that means I am just a sad little waste in that regard. What else can be taken from all of this ranting of mine? There is no other conclusion. No direction to go but downward, or just conform with the rest and forget about trying to preserve what has been created. Retconned, erased, altered, just to suit whatever is current.
Christ... This post just reeks of self entitlement. Hopefully anyone who even began to read this was wise enough to jump ship quarterway into this. Pfft. Then again, some of my posts have been called out to be out of arrogant self entitlement. Again, yet a failure on my part to properly articulate my thoughts and opinions in a manner and/or outline them in a way to help others properly gain a hold of what I think from my perspective, from there people could then debate me on a rational ground to help disprove my current fears and worries, of which I have yet to see otherwise in any meaningful long lasting way.
As of two minutes and six seconds ago at 3:14 CST PM, I have apparently garnered another reply from a user whom had already established to wish for no further contact. I already left him a farewell and a cease to any further engagement in communication. Just to rub salt in the wound in a way, though not intentionally.
Update: Apparently some points of miscommunication in some areas. (Mine more than him it seems.) Though I will try and communicate to see where it will go. I honestly doubt it will go anywhere than just facilitating further hostilities between us, and further cementing my reputation as a troll in the eyes of others. Still, if he is willing to having further communication between us, I don't believe there could be much harm in trying. Though some parts of the message seems rather... Something like condescending.... Not the direct definition itself, but something along those lines. Less aggressive, mostly passive.
Update: December 31 2014 2:29 PM CST.
That is a negatory on being condescending. The user is respectful and believes my own opinions to be genuine.
He is willing to listen and open up dialogue, even if he does not necessarily agree with my views, he is willing to counter each of my points with his own reasoning and logic, bring his own suggestions and perspective to the table. I can most certainly respect and appreciate this. If nothing else, he is willing to read my rather admitably huge walls of text.
February 4 2015 1:41 PM
I have found an article by a certain JawJoe that seems to ring true to me. The following is of a response that I have made to give console to myself to help vent negative emotions, as well to provide minimal disturbance to the article in question.
>>2749474
And the thing is that even if this was the idea behind the show, the stories they're telling are coming up shallow by now. It's like you're saying: there doesn't seem to be much more room for Twilight to progress. This whole "learning friendship" thing has been dropped/dealt with. Twilight has reached lvl 99 friendship and got her special Alicorn prestige skin. She's also maxed out her magic skill.
One then has to wonder how this will affect the fanfiction and fan art side of things. (Oh wait...)
I believe you are already familiar with my interactions in the forums, particularly on why I am so dead set in attempting failing to shove my my own opinions on how the site should operate when accepting fanfiction down the throats of anyone who happens to be unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity. So I might as well chime in a little as to the reason for my actions on even posting such volatile opinions on a fanfiction site in the first place. (Yes, it is at least partially related to this essay of yours.) You may heed or ignore this comment from here on out, hell, delete it if you so wish it. It is just venting primarily on my part, so I wouldn't blame you if you did. This will probably end up as a wall of text, so either bring popcorn or a torch.
------
Well, my thoughts have grinded to a halt. Moving on to elaborate alone.
I find it somewhat deplorable to even make an effort to writing fanfiction in the first, if all that results from it is being overshadowed by canon and the latest stories of which that abide by canon, until those then too are rendered obsolete and replace in a vicious cycle of replacement. I do not understand the purpose of archiving fanfiction that branches out or have interpretations that are "not in line' with the canon focus of the show. The site is overall of a canonist orientation, thus surely it would be of fine logic to excise material that is no longer relevant to the fandom at present. After all, it isn't being used, large in part considered heresy if they were to be posted today unless altered down to the finest detail to suit canon. All those potential designs the writers on this site make before canon comes in to interfere? Or rather, before they adjusted suit? Completely worthless.
Why invest in it? Why correct? What is the point of being unique and creating a unique interpretation that is of your own design that identifies who you are? That makes a story even more unique, yet still keep the spirit of the show that is based off of? Or the vibe at least.
Dealing with other people's opinions can be emotionally draining. I sympathize with you on that front. At the same time, looking past the emotions at the facts contained in such opinions can be enlightening, and it is a skill that you can build over time. Plus, respecting the source of the opinion, even when you disagree with the opinion, helps minimize negativity because that communicates that your disagreement is not with the character of the person expressing the opinion, but with the opinion itself. Couching your rhetoric in positive terms is effective at creating discussion of said rhetoric rather than the discussion devolving into an emotional mud wrestling match that accomplishes very little if not nothing.
Because the Internet is primarily a text-based method of communication between people, people have a tendency to substitute their own emotions onto the words they read, which can color or distort their perception of those words. Not only that, it is a scientifically documented fact that the more negative and troll-like the comments on an article are, regardless of the tone or content of the article, the more defensive readers of said articles become about their own opinions of the material in the article, and the less willing they will be to consider different points of view. It's called "The Nasty Effect", you should look it up on Google. Anyway, any little thing you can do to decrease the emotional negativity in whatever discourse you make, whether it be from your personal perception of the conversation or the negative actions of others, the more the conversation will steer towards the actual discourse you may have wished to hold. To a point, of course; knowing when things have gone too far is another essential skill to online communication.
In light of the above paragraph, there are a few things that I wish to bring up for your consideration.
At the notion that a lack of output equals a lack of quality, I would like to submit my profile on this site as a case in point. I have had a story going on for well over three years at this point, and there have been extended periods of time where real life has intervened and prevented me from completing this story. Yet I made a conscious choice to not give up on the story, to stick to my guns and see it through to the end. I am committed to completing this thing regardless of its critical reception in its incomplete state, although I harbor no delusions to the flaws that are already apparent. So far, it is the most challenging and rewarding story to write for, when I have the time. Any time I have a new chapter ready to publish is a minor personal victory in and of itself. By refusing to give up despite the long amount of time spent writing it, I have personally grown as a writer and storyteller. Everyone's life is different; maybe the reason your stories have taken so long is because your own life makes it difficult to write for them? You know your life better than I do, but I encourage you to think about this concept. Do not let the length of time spent creating something deter you from finishing it, if you really want to see an end to it someday.
As for the idea of curating fanon to be in line with canon, this can be a very tricky proposition. For instance, writers on the site have varying levels of knowledge about MLP: FiM itself. I myself haven't seen any episodes past Season 2 and that includes not watching the EqG movies, although I am aware of general plot developments in future seasons. That's because I haven't gotten around to watching them, and I've always had something going on to keep me from the coming back to it. Should I not be allowed to write or create fan fiction stories, not allowed to express my own creativity, because I have imperfect knowledge of certain aspects of the story? Many would see that as an unfair restriction of the freedom of expression. In that light, I should be able to create works that may be inaccurate to canon, as long as my creativity leads me to creating high-quality stories regardless of whatever inaccuracies they may have. If a couple of readers object, I personally state my case as politely as I can and leave things at that. Perhaps I will make suggested changes, especially if I can see canon changes enhancing the story.
How would one even determine a person's "knowledge level" of MLP: FiM, though? Volunteering that info could be manipulated; after all, you do not know if I'm lying or telling the truth, and since this is the Internet, there are no mechanisms to find those who would cheat whatever system you put in place. You simply have to take everything at face value, and hope that what has been shown is correct, which may not have your intended effect.
Plus, things get really murky when you step into the realm of interpretation of the facts present. Case in point: I once had a reader of a story I submitted to a college writing workshop ask me in a blunt way: "So when are these guys gonna bang?" I had not written the characters in question as gay, and did not even write the story in a sexual or romantic manner. The reader simply expected two male characters who interact with each other to eventually have sex at some point in the story. There was nothing I could do to counter that perception because I had zero idea such a perception could exist. Imagine that level of creative, unique, and ultimately unpredictable interpretation applied to every single episode of MLP: FiM, and hopefully you can see the point I am making here.
Think of it like this: MLP: FiM is like a statue, and like a statue, there are multiple ways to view said statue, from a multitude of perspectives and positions. Plus, every single view point, position, perspective and method of observation (i.e. the difference between using human eyes and using a camera) will be unique because it is impossible for two people to occupy the exact same physical space at the exact same point in time. Sure, they can occupy spaces so close together that they could embrace each other intimately, but their perception will still have slight differences that will affect how they see the statue, which in this analogy is MLP: FiM.
Should inaccuracies in fanon with regards to canon be pointed out? Sure! Should those inaccuracies be used to penalize writers to force them to adhere to canon at all times? I don't think so. It's difficult enough to determine what's canon and what isn't in a writer's fanon, especially if writers get very creative. Five Score Divided by Four, however you may think of it, is a great example of this. According to its fanon, the story takes place after every single episode of MLP: FiM ever made, and after every episode that WILL be made. How can you police something like that to be in line with canon, when the story takes place so far outside of established canon? Where would My Little Dashie or Fallout: Equestria fit into canon? My question is this: should these stories be forced to fit a canon that, technically speaking, they do not even take place within? Would such enforcement enhance those stories or make them more creative, and thus more enjoyable to read for their audience?
Hence, I would recommend making following canon over fanon a voluntary act, rather than an act that must be enforced with consequences when deviated from. Writers get creative, and if one fully believes in the principle of freedom of speech, they should be able to create whatever they wish. There are writers in a multitude of genres who are very good at it. There are very popular writers in a multitude of genres as well. Should we shun or turn away anyone simply because their creative expressions are not what is desirable for someone? We can pick and choose what we wish to read and enjoy. Should not writers be able to pick and choose what they wish to create, and let public opinion and critical reception show its worth to its audience?
Another point: it may be helpful to take your time writing your posts, if you usually "fire off and forget". This will allow you to double-check them to see if they say what you actually want to say, rather than them being half-formed thoughts that you don't give the consideration they need to be fully articulated. This post took an hour-and-a-half to write, as a personal example. If you already take your time, then I would recommend asking yourself a couple simple questions: "Is this saying what I want to say? If I put myself in the shoes of another person, how would they respond to this?" Also: re-read your post before you post it! You'd be surprised the mistakes you end up catching that way
Last but not least, emotions physically affect your body. Why else to you smile when you're happy, or cry when you are very, very sad? Your emotional state affects your physical state. So, fictional characters that entertain you and cheer you up when you are down are having a positive affect on your body, and are improving your health. You may not feel it, but the very fact that one can be uplifted from an emotional downer and physically feel better is a huge deal. Life is stressful, in many ways and in many forms and places. Being able to ease that stress in your downtime will help you lead a healthier life overall, and will calm down quite a few headaches. It's not perfect, anything can be taken too far, but it is one tool of many possible tools to alleviate negativity. In the right situation, it can completely change your outlook for a day, maybe a week, maybe your whole life, I really don't know.
Make of my thoughts whatever you will.
Sincerely,
Mr. Album
2690921
I did not expect such a length and well thought out response. I appreciate the time and effort you put into your comment sir.
An hour and a half eh? Seems to me you are somewhat quicker as a typist than I am. That, or perhaps you have a fine ability to sort, organize, then finally articulate your thoughts.
Considering that you even devoted such a lengthy and constructed comment to a post that is essentially more or less a pile of angst in wholesale, I will do my utmost best to see if I can bring up a response of similar caliber. Eventually. Somewhat busy at the moment. (I am curious as to what inspired you to come here and write your comment though. Was it the recent forum post I made on the Self Doubting Writer's Group?)
I will attempt to formulate my response in a timely manner. Though it may take some time.
2691046
Heya! Glad you liked my comment! I followed you a while back, and I saw your blog post in my feed. Haven't seen your post in the Self-Doubting Writer's Group. I might check it out, but I won't make any promises right now.
I have actually thought long and hard about many of these subjects for some time, and I do have a knack for analogy and metaphor in discussions. So you could say that I have already spent some time coming up with general well-articulated thoughts, and that I then find specific applications of those general thoughts. It helps with keeping my thoughts somewhat organized without setting them completely in stone, and gives me a frame of reference to come into a discussion on those topics.
It's not perfect; sometimes coming up with the most effective wording (I almost used "right" instead of "most effective"!) is difficult, and if my emotions trigger for one reason or another, it can be hard to remain level-headed. It also falls apart if I don't have anything to add to a discussion. Not only that, I need to temper it with the fact that my perception of facts or events is no more or less correct than that of anyone else. It doesn't mean I'm 100% wrong, and it doesn't mean I'm 100% right either. Being open to having one's thoughts challenged is a skill that need a lot of practice, and I'm no master of it yet. Plus, it can get really long and rambling through all sorts of semi-related tangents if I let it
Thanks again for replying! I hope things work out for you, whatever those things may be.
Sincerely,
Mr. Album