Friendship is Card Games: Secret of My Excess · 5:39pm Jan 4th, 2015
Well, this is a fairly timely episode, what with Fate Reforged previews in progress, and not just because it’s dragon-centric. With the amount of continuity confusion here, you’d think there was time travel involved.
…Dang it, Twilight.
I can’t say I think much of Twilight’s sorting system. Maybe she’s trying out a new one. Again. This would explain why so few ponies seem to use the library; they can’t find anything.
I do wonder how a dragon’s sense of taste works. How do crystals ripen? What does a given resonant frequency indicate? Senses alien to my own are fascinating to me.
“That must be at least twenty carats!” Twenty carats is four grams, or about a seventh of an ounce. (See here for size comparisons.) Suffice to say, the writers probably weren’t that familiar with units of gem measurement. That, or Equestria is so overloaded with crystals that their carat is much more massive than ours. Granted, given that Rarity said "at least," she's still technically correct.
Even the bust in the center of the library gets a party hat. 
Pinkie hacks Twilight’s teleport. “If you wanted me to use the door, why did you leave the fourth dimension wide open?”
“This is my first birthday in Ponyville.” 
Damn it, writers. Especially after my triumphant rant last week. Though given that it’s apparently a big deal that Dash’s birthday and the anniversary of her moving to Ponyville coincide in “Pinkie Pride,” maybe birthdays work off of some weird alternate calendar.
Well, I’m going to try to make as much sense of this as I can: As long as the Grand Galloping Gala takes place in the spring, then “Return of Harmony,” “Lesson Zero,” and this episode can probably all fit in before the solstice. No one said the episodes had to be in chronological order (especially the wintry ones.)
Speaking of “Pinkie Pride,” my iTunes is currently playing “Everything You Know Is Wrong.” Well, we have my computer’s opinion on the matter, then.
Between the boxes that contain a massive pile of gifts and the shopping bag holding a pimp hat, this episode has a rather high hyperspace content. (Heck, Dash didn’t even give a box, just a barbell with a ribbon. Where’d the rainbow football come from? And why did Cheerilee buy a pimp hat, anyway? Do I even want to know?)
Speaking of hyperspace, that shortcut between Ditzy’s office and her attic had a lot of teething problems, hence her appearance in that well.
Drinking from a decorative fountain? That seems rather unhygenic. Eh, Junebug’s an earth pony. Her immune system can probably shrug off anything that that water might throw at her.
Twilight may be upset, but I’m pretty sure most of Spike’s horde is gifts he got from the Mane Six, including the literal kitchen sink.
The quality of healthcare in Ponyville is… well, at least the hospital seems competent. I have to wonder where Mane Goodall’s been hiding if she’s never seen a dragon. Well, she could be the vet for the next town over. Ditto the pediatrician. (Incidentally, I like to call him Spiral Fracture and cast him as Twist’s father. Assuming, of course, that he lives in Ponyville.)
M. A. Larson proves that even the show writers find it hard to write Zecora's dialogue sometimes.
I do love how Scootaloo thinks of her scooter as a “her.” There’s a story there.
One shamed dragon does not cure dracophobia, it seems. Understandable, really. I mean, how would you react if an irate dragon twice your size suddenly showed up at your house?
Given what the Appleoosans were able to do with pie, cake assault actually seems like a reasonable course of action.
The existence of the air raid siren leads to a number of interesting questions. I’m going to say the mayor, recognizing a pattern, had it installed somewhere around the fifth disaster after Twilight moved in.
This is probably the first evidence that the Wonderbolts are more than just a stunt team. They're also about as effective as the rest of the Guard.
Spike’s flashback doesn’t line up with the actual event a week before. The impermanence of memory, or more discontinuity? You decide.
For all that I harped on this episode, I still liked it. I love the idea of dragon growth being tied more actions and mindset than age. It really emphasizes their incredibly magical nature, how they're as much forces of nature as animals. The King Kong reference was icing on the cake.
I also liked how the lesson of the day lines up with color theory. Spike explicitly mentions kindness and generosity, the Elements I associate with white and blue. Those colors oppose red, the traditional color of dragons. With them, Spike can counterbalance his natural impulses with civility and mindfulness.
Right, that’s enough grousing over the inconsistency of a children’s cartoon. Now for cards:
Emergency Siren 1W
Instant
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to blocking creatures this turn.
The residents of Ponyville have enough experience with disaster that given sufficient warning, they’re ready for anything.
Sweet Apple Lassoer 2W
Creature — Pony Warrior
Tap two untapped Ponies, Pegasi, and/or Unicorns you control: Tap target creature.
”You can do darn near anything with enough rope.”
—Applejack, Bearer of Honesty
2/2
Temporal Inconsistency U
Instant
Counter target spell if it wasn’t cast from a hand.
”It’s far too easy to change a timeline, and far too difficult to do it in the way you mean to.”
—Minuette, temporal operative
Dimension Flux 1U
Instant
Buyback 1UU (You may pay an additional 1UU as you cast this spell, if you do, put this card into your hand as it resolves.)
Exile target creature, then return that card to the battlefield under its owner’s control.
Gift of Knowledge 1U
Instant
Buyback 3
Each player draws a card.
”There’s always more to learn, more to give.”
—Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic
Reshelving Day 1U
Sorcery
Each player may exile any number of cards from his or her hand face down, then put that many cards from the top of his or her library into his or her hand. Each player who exiled cards this way looks at them and puts them on top of his or her library in any order.
Predict Trends 3U
Sorcery
Reveal the top four cards of your library. Put all artifact cards revealed this way into your hand and the rest into your graveyard.
A poor fashionista follows trends. A good one tries to anticipate them. A great one decides what they will be.
Wonderbolt Rescue Squad 3U
Creature — Pegasus Soldier
Flying
Whenever Wonderbolt Rescue Squad deals combat damage to a player, you may return target creature you own to your hand.
"It's not all stunt shows and autographs. We pull our weight as much as any other guardspony."
—Spitfire, Wonderbolt captain
2/3
Snatch 4UUU
Instant
Counter target spell or ability that targets you or a permanent you control. If a spell is countered this way, exile it instead of putting it into its owner's graveyard and you can cast that card as long as it remains exiled. If a permanent's ability is countered this way, gain control of that permanent. (Gain control of it only if it's still on the battlefield.)
Bric-A-Brac XU
Tribal Sorcery — Rigger
Put X colorless Contraption artifact tokens onto the battlefield.
”I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly at the time, but I was sure I’d find a use for it all.”
—Spike
Demand Tribute 3B
Sorcery
Manifest the top card of target opponent’s library. (Put it onto the battlefield face down under your control as a 2/2 creature. Turn it face up at any time for its mana cost if it’s a creature card.)
Dragons do not ask. They expect.
Precocious Scootersmith 1R
Creature — Pegasus Rigger
Assemble R (R: Put a colorless Contraption artifact token onto the battlefield. Assemble only any time you could cast a sorcery.)
Contraptions you control have “Sacrifice this artifact: Target creature gains haste until end of turn.”
A pegasus’s need for speed doesn’t always grow at the same rate as her wings.
2/1
Impulsive Charity 2R
Sorcery
Exile the top card of target opponent’s library. Until end of turn, you may play that card and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast it.
”A lady does not coerce. She inspires generosity in others.”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
Hoarding Instinct 3R
Tribal Enchantment — Dragon Aura
Enchant creature you control
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each permanent you control but don't own.
As long as enchanted creature is a Dragon, it has trample.
Whenever enchanted creature deals combat damage to a player, gain control of target artifact that player controls until Hoarding Instinct leaves the battlefield.
Compulsive Hoarding 4RRR
Sorcery
Untap all artifacts and gain control of them until end of turn. They gain haste until end of turn.
As dragons age, they become more discerning and appreciative of value. The young care only about quantity.
Zecora's Insight 5G
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast Zecora's Insight, reveal a creature card from your hand.
Draw cards equal to the revealed card's power.
"At my disposal I've much lore. To share it is never a chore."
Chapeau of Swagger 2
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature has extort. (Whenever you cast a spell, if this artifact is attached to a creature, you may pay (wb). If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)
Equip (wb) Bitches have equipped creature's money if able.
Scholar’s Globe 2
Artifact
1, T, Sacrifice Scholar’s Globe: Reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a land card. Put that card onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.
The problem with a map of the world is trying to find somewhere smaller than a country on it.
Assault Cake 3
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature has "T, Return Assault Cake to its owner's hand: This creature deals 2 damage to target attacking or blocking creature."
Equip 2
In an earth pony's hooves, almost anything can be dangerous, delicious, or both.
Fire Ruby 4
Artifact
Red spells you cast cost 1 less to cast.
T: Add R to your mana pool.
Even hearts of stone can burn with passion.
In the Monster’s Clutches 2U(rg)
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature you control
When In the Monster’s Clutches enters the battlefield, choose target creature you don’t control.
As long as enchanted creature’s power is greater than the chosen creature’s power, you control the chosen creature.
When the chosen creature leaves the battlefield, you may return In the Monster’s Clutches to its owner’s hand.
Kiss of the Unicorn 3WU
Sorcery
Target player gains 4 life and draws two cards.
”A gift more precious than gemstones. Small gemstones.”
—Spike
Defoliate 6RG
Sorcery
Untap all lands you control, then add 1 to your mana pool for each tapped land on the battlefield.
Even leaves are enticing to a growing dragon, so long as they can all be his.
Aberrant Ontogeny X(gu)
Instant
Target creature has base power and toughness X/X until end of turn. X can’t be 0.
Compared to other factors, age has barely any influence over a dragon’s maturity.
Is "manifest" a keyword of your own creation? I don't think I've ever seen it before. When you pay 3 mana to put something onto the battlefield face-down as a 2/2 creature, I think it's technically casting a creature spell.
Love the Rigger things, and In the Monster's Clutches, and the pimp hat.
Snatch is one of those spells that look too good to be true until you remember its casting cost, which is rather prohibitive. A counterspell that costs 1U more than Mind Control? Even if it has a mind control effect as a rider, I don't think it's gonna see much play. You'd be able to reduce the cost, I think, if you changed it to "Gain control of target spell or ability. (If it's a permanent spell, you retain control of the permanent when it resolves.) You may choose new targets for it."
...damn you. XD
I like most of this batch. Snatch, Bric-a-Brac, Demand Tribute, Precocious Scootersmith, Hoarding Instict, and Aberrant Ontogeny are all pretty cool, and sound fun to use. Scholar's Globe is pretty funny flavor-wise.
Defoliate seems really strange. At first a one-turn burst of mana that eats a card for one turn but already requires you to have 8 mana sounds useless, but you could probably use it it for a game-ending X-cost spell (and if you're ramping up to 8-mana spells then an X-cost card will do you pretty well even if you don't get this one). Or maybe just use it to squeeze out an Eldrazi.
Defoliate after Pygmy Hippo triggers; get ALL the mana!
Obviously, dragons age slowly enough that they only get a birthday every three years.
2700181 Manifest is the new keyword from Fate Reforged. Don't forget to play in your local prerelease!
2700181 manifest is a keyword ability introduced in Fate Reforged. All spoiled cards so far involve you playing the top card of your library facedown as a morph, which you can turn face up if it's a creature, for it's mana cost. There's also a cycle of enchantments, that are like living weapon artifacts, only they enchant the top card of your library instead of a germ
Reshelving day is just like a sorcery version of Memory Jar, except cheaper and without the wincon. In the original, you'd have to set aside your entire hand, and discard the new hand at the end of the turn in exchange for the original. Megrim (2B enchantment) costs opponents 2 life for every discard, so by playing multiple memory jars in one turn via crazy ramp shit, you could force them to discard two or three hands at the end step, costing upwards of 20 life. The card was banned before it was standard legal. It was printed in Urza's Legacy, and had already seen success in extended, soWizards banned it to stop combo winter from dragging on any longer.
2700922
That is probably the least disgusting thing you can do with Memory Jar. The thing that got it banned is the part where you draw seven cards for free.
Also, on today's installment of Vocabulary Time With Twilight Sparkle: 'Megrim' is actually an archaic form of 'migraine'.
You know, once MaRo figures out Contraptions, your riggers will be completely out of date.
Unless, of course, you are MaRo...
This is one of my least favorite episodes, in no small part because it pretty strongly contradicts the portrayal of dragons TWO EPISODES LATER, in a MUCH better episode. You don't get jerk teenage dragons AND growth-triggered-by-greed dragons. Otherwise the bully dragons would be bigger than houses.
Also, I've never had the slightest difficulty writing dialog for Zecora.
2700941 These days you could probably pull off all sorts of shit with jar, but at the time, Megrim was the deck's only win condition. The deck was banned after Erik Lauer and Randy Buehler made 4th and 3rd at GP Vienna in 1999. It consisted of three parts: mana artifacts, tutors, and wincons. With Academy gone, it was all set to become the next big combo deck, along with High Tide, since it could go off as early as turn 2.
A lot of creatures in MLP seem to be poorly represented.
2700181
Snatch was a top-down Timmy design. It's like Counterlash; the point is splashiness, not efficiency. Furthermore, given Commandeer, I don't think your version would cost much less.
2700289
In my stories, the scooter is named Jolene. (After all, if a rock can be Tom...)
2700323
In other words, it's as resource-intensive and questionable as stealing every leaf from an orchard of apple trees.
But yeah, a combination Early Harvest and Mana Geyser is going to be a bit costly.
2700777
Wasn't it Little Orphan Annie who aged at one quarter the normal rate because she was born on February 29th?
2700922
Actually, Reshelving Day is just a one-shot Scroll Rack for everyone. Remember, unlike with Memory Jar, you can't get out more than what you put in.
2701438
Sadly, several people have gone on record as saying that Steamflogger Boss was a joke. The good news is that I'm as right as anyone.
2701864
In the show or in my cards?
2702014 Generally the show. A lot of cryptids are poorly represented in general. A single type has a variety of specie that differ between culture, location, and family. For instance, the term 'dragon' applies to a multitude of subtypes and categories. While a griffon has very few. I'd honestly like to see the show go through a couple of the more...diverse mythological creatures that there are to offer.
Interesting that wonderbolt rescue squad is just blue.
Contraptions and Assembling Riggers might be a joke but i still hold out hope! Mister Rosewater is hesitant to use the word "never" on anything that doesn't outright break the game or can't be done within the (comprehensive) rules so there is still a chance!
That said even if they never do anything with Contraptions I think "Bric-A-Brac" is over powered.
Combine it with [url=http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Search/Default.aspx?action=advanced&text=+[%22Affinity%20for%20artifacts%22]Affinity for Artifacts or [url=http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Search/Default.aspx?action=advanced&text=+[%22Artifacts%20you%20control%22]anything that cares about the number of artifacts you control and watch everyone else cry.
And since Artifacts are good at making loads and loads of colorless mana... . I'd say it should probably cost XUU instead of just XU, since the majority of X spells that put things onto the battlefield cost double colored mana.
For some reason I feel that "Chapeau of Swagger" should have Extort itself in addition to giving Extort.
But that's just silly.
So "Assault Cake" is dangerously delicious?
I think "In the Monster’s Clutches" should tack on a "As long as you control the chosen creature it cannot attack." clause because it's, well, being held captive and can't move/escape. But you can use it to block because the holding monster can move it around in front of others.
That's all about flavor though.
2702014 No no, it was one of the characters in The Pirates Of Penzance who couldn't leave until he was 18 but was born on a leap year day so he only got 1/4th as many birthdays.
2703231 In Soviet Dominaria, Contraptions assemble you?
2702014 I did not know about Commandeer! Yeah, I wasn't expecting a big difference, but I was thinking {1} or {U} less. Given that even my wording of Snatch is a little more powerful/flexible than Commandeer, though, I think you got the mana cost just right.
She's a smooth criminal.
canterlot.com/uploads/gallery/album_11/med_gallery_82_11_133948.png
Snatch reads better (to me) as ‘Counter target spell or ability that targets you or a permanent you control. If a spell is countered this way, exile it instead of putting it into its owner’s graveyard. You can cast that card as long as it remains exiled. If a permanent’s ability is countered this way, you gain control of that permanent. (You gain control of it only if it’s still on the battlefield.)’.
The difference is that one sentence is split, and two sentences are changed from imperative to declarative.
2702014
Yes, and MaRo has sworn not to retire until he figures out Contraptions.
With regard to the size of the gem, the solution is clear: Equestrian carats are more massive, because the Equestrian carob has much more massive seeds than the Earth equivalent plant.
I did a bit of guesstimation and got somewhat over 2000 carats for the ruby (the math was admittedly quite fuzzy, because I'm not sure how to calculate that thing's volume, so I treated it as a cardoid prism with r = 3 cm and h = 1.5 cm, then plugged in the appropriate numbers - all assuming that Spike's hand is about half the size of mine). So the average equestrian carob seed can be assumed to weigh a hundred times as much as the Earth one does. This implies seeds a little over four and a half times the size of ours, assuming constant density.
Edit for clarity: "carat" as a measure of weight (and as a measure of gold purity) comes from "keraton," Greek for "carob," as carob tree seeds were believed to have uniform weight and were thus used as a measure of weight for small things. A certain Roman pure gold coin was weighed at 24 carob seeds, hence 24 carats/karats for pure gold. The measure was later standardized to .2 grams.