Friendship is Card Games: Family Appreciation Day · 5:58pm Jan 18th, 2015
Appropriately enough for the Fate Reforged prerelease weekend, this episode goes into the past, to the origins of Tarkir Ponyville as we know it, and to an encounter that could’ve changed the face of Equestria had it turned out differently. It also leads to some curious questions regarding earth pony longevity, timberwolf taxonomy, and where to put Apple Bloom in a library.
Wow. Big Mac doesn’t get to speak much that isn’t in Binary. I forgot he got an actual line this episode. Also, Apple Bloom is unfairly cute in that sleeping bonnet.
This is one of the episodes that aired as I was writing Elementals of Harmony, and it was quite helpful. Without all of Granny’s pet names for Apple Bloom, the cooking-by-instinct scene wouldn’t have been nearly as fun to write. (Also, it’s part of the list of ideas in that story I should really do something with…)
Earth pony magic definitely exists, and it definitely enhances tools. Otherwise, there is no way that broom would do anything.
Mac with windblown mane staring nobly into the ominous wind is a fantastic thing, and I am glad that it exists.
I do like that Filthy Rich gets characterization beyond “awful child’s father.” It adds a much more interesting dynamic to the two families as wholes.
Meanwhile, Diamond Tiara is basically all horrible things about childhood in a single package, including the introduction of shame and embarrassment. Still, even she loves her daddy.
“When I was little, ponies didn’t come that purdy.” Wow. Wow. Now I kind of want to write a story where Diamond Tiara gets sent back in time and young Granny Smith falls head over fetlocks for her.
No, Scootaloo, Sweetie’s the dictionary. After that rant, Apple Bloom is clearly a thesaurus.
It always bothers me when a thermometer is used incorrectly. The bulb needs to go in the mouth. Or the teapot, as the case may be.
Huh. The puppet ropes vanished into the same strange dimension into which Spider-Man fires webbing. Granny Smith has had a long life. I wonder if she ever walked the path of the party pony…
The timberwolves are curious creatures, all the more so when we see more of them in “Spike at Your Service.” For the sake of Magic taxonomy, I’m treating them Elementals rather than Plants. They seem more animated assemblies like Timbermare than living topiaries like Mosstodon.
Now, let’s address the elephant in the room:
“Winter Wrap-Up” establishes that Ponyville has been making the winter-spring transition without magic for centuries (other than pegasus weather magic, passive earth pony magic, Celestia putting more hours in the day… Hey, it’s a farming town. “Screw the unicorns” was probably taken off the town flag only a few decades ago. 
) This episode says that Granny Smith and her family were the first settlers in what would become Ponyville. Thus, it can be concluded that she is hundreds of years old… or there was a continuity error, or Granny Smith made the whole thing up.
Personally, I like the idea of ridiculous longevity being part of the earth pony portfolio. It fits well with my headcanon of their magic being mostly passive and fundamental, and extending life is certainly both. However, not every earth pony needs a superannuated lifespan, just as not every pegasus can go supersonic and not every unicorn can teleport. Like Dash and Twilight, Applejack seems to be an exemplar of her tribe’s usual capabilities (as opposed to Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie, who are exemplars of their tribes’ unusual capabilities.) It makes sense for her grandmother to be one as well. As Granny said, “magic is as magic does.”
And on that Gumpish note, it’s time to open up the box of chocolates and show you what you’re gonna get:
Address the Troops 1WW
Sorcery
Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control. Those creatures gain vigilance until end of turn.
A good general can boost morale. A great general can create morale where there was none to begin with.
Aurora Rays 3W
Instant
Radiance — Target creature and each creature that shares a color with it gain protection from all colors until end of turn. This effect doesn’t remove Auras you control.
The fifth sign, the rainbow at storm’s end that ripens the crop in a single incredible moment.
Sing to the Water 2UU
Sorcery
Draw a card for each creature whose name begins with the letter of your choice.
”It’s right there in the initials: Z. A. Gotta put the whole alphabet into the water or it won’t do nothing for zap apple trees.”
—Granny Smith
Gather the Goods 3U
Sorcery
Put the top card and the bottom card of your library into your hand.
Shopping trips with Granny Smith are always an adventure.
Harbinger Starfall 4UU
Sorcery
Each player shuffles his or her hand and graveyard into his or her library, then draws seven cards, then may put a permanent card from his or her hand onto the battlefield. Exile Harbinger Starfall.
The fourth sign, meteors that bring only beauty and bounty.
Humiliating Tendencies B
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature's activated abilities cost an additional "Pay 3 life" to activate.
”Sometimes family means putting up with behavior you never would otherwise.”
—Applejack, Bearer of Honesty
Sick with Worry B
Instant
All tapped creatures get -1/-1 until end of turn.
Whether mental or physical, exhaustion can weaken the immune system to a dangerous degree.
Inspire Shame 1B
Sorcery
Each player sacrifices a green or white creature.
Insidious whispers can spoil even the most innocent of pleasures.
Cutthroat Business 2BB
Enchantment
Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay (wb). If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)
At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life for each opponent and you draw a card.
The Riches are an economic force of nature.
Corvid Augury 6B
Sorcery
Delve (Each card you exile from your graveyard as you cast this spell pays for 1.)
Return up to three target creature and/or land cards from your graveyard to your hand.
The third sign, a flight of crows announcing the returning treasures of the past.
Scootagram RR
Sorcery
Each player exiles the top card of his or her library and may play that card this turn.
There’s only so much time to act on urgent news.
Bee Beard 1R
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature blocks or becomes blocked by a creature, Bee Beard deals 1 damage to that creature.
”Being sweet to bees is just common sense, really. Ain’t like you see many ponies taking the other option.”
—Granny Smith
Peculiar Puppetry 1R
Sorcery
Untap target tapped creature. Gain control of that creature until end of turn. It gains haste until end of turn.
Sometimes, plans go awry. Other times, they start that way.
Foliation Storm 2R
Sorcery
Until end of turn, lands you control gain “T: This land deals 1 damage to target creature or player.”
The second sign, dark clouds and ominous winds that usher forth a burst of leaves and lightning.
Make a Ruckus 2R
Sorcery
Multikicker 1R (You may pay an additional 1R any number of times as you cast this spell.)
Each creature can't block creatures with power equal to or greater than its toughness this turn. Creatures you control get +1/+0 until end of turn for each time Make a Ruckus was kicked.
Longevity 1G
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
At the beginning of each upkeep, regenerate enchanted creature.
"Anyone with eyes soon sees that earth ponies age like trees. A few bits may twist and gnarl, but health persists overall."
—Zecora, zebra shaman
Skittish Timberwolf 1G
Creature — Elemental Wolf
1, Tap an untapped artifact you control: Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt by Skittish Timberwolf this turn. Any player may activate this ability.
Deadly speed. Terrible fangs. Crippling fear of loud noises.
3/2
Seed Collectors 1GG
Creature — Pony Nomad
Whenever Seed Collectors deals combat damage to a player, search your library for a basic land card, reveal that card, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library.
Seed collectors gather from places ponies have yet to tame, exploring the unsettled reaches of Equestria as they practice their trade.
2/3
Zap Apple Orchard 2G
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant land
Enchanted land has "4, T: Add WUBRG to your mana pool."
From nothing, jam.
Howl of the Timberwolves 2GG
Instant
Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn for each Forest you control.
The first sign, a quickening of sap that only the wooden can sense.
Bunny Suit 2
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +0/+1, untaps during each other player’s untap step, and is a Rabbit in addition to its other types.
Equip 2
”Makes me feel fifty years younger. Never you mind how old that’d be.”
—Granny Smith
Xyloelectric Feedback RG
Enchantment
Whenever a player activates an ability of a land that isn't a mana ability, Xyloelectric Feedback deals 1 damage to that player.
Zap apple trees operate on their own arcane cycle. Attempts to bypass this process are not appreciated.
Doddering Thoughts RW
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
At the beginning of each upkeep, flip a coin. If you win the flip, this turn, enchanted creature can’t attack or block and its activated abilities can’t be activated.
”I ain’t senile, I’m just… what was I saying?”
—Granny Smith
Inscrutable Ritual 1UR
Sorcery
Put two cards from your hand on the bottom of your library in any order, then draw three cards.
Each step of making zap apple jam has been confirmed as necessary by years of experimentation, no matter how silly it may seem.
Zap Apple Grove
Land
Zap Apple Grove enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add R or G to your mana pool. If that mana is spent on a spell, whenever that spell becomes the target of a spell or ability, Zap Apple Grove deals 1 damage to that spell or ability's controller.
Zap apples may be delicious, but they still come from the Everfree, with all the danger that that implies.
I'm a little unclear about how Cutthroat Business works. Do you draw cards equal to the number of opponents, then lost life equal to the number of opponents? Or just draw the one card then lose life equal to the number of opponents?
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Oh, that is an unfortunate ambiguity. I meant it to be the latter. Hopefully, that's clearer now.
I would totally read that.
Inscrutable Ritual is really good if it's the only card in your hand
Forgive a new follower his ignorance, but have you gone into the "unusual capabilities" of unicorns and pegasi in your headcanon anywhere? I'm so used to thinking of Fluttershy as simply being un-pegasus-like that I'm wondering what the connections are.
For a while there I thought this group of cards would be creature-less. Nope, two of them.
So close.
Personally I'd resolve that plot-hole by saying that it was the tradition of wherever the settlers were from before they founded Ponyville, rather than force an undying Granny Smith into continuity, but whatever works works. As for the cards, I feel like they got more interesting as they went on, though I might've just been paying better attention by the end.
Aurora Rays seems pretty versatile--that could save any or all your creatures from enemy action, make a nuke one-sided (if you find a nuke that leaves enough free mana), turn a bloody combat phase one-sided, or most importantly make all your creatures effectively unblockable for a turn.
Sing to the Water... shouldn't that be the reverse of that effect? Anyways cards that interact with card names are strictly Un-set material.
Sick With Worry seems simple and cool.
I'm not sure when you would ever play Humiliating Tendencies with all of black's more final ways of killing creatures for 2-3 mana, but I guess it's balanced.
I don't understand Scootagram. Unless you're playing team multiplayer, I see no possible advantage to this over just having drawn the card that was under it.
Peculiar Puppetry... is basically Act of Treason for 1 less mana but it can only target tapped creatures? Still seems a bit unbalanced. Love the flavor text though.
Foliation Storm seems potentially powerful. It's got a bit more overhead than the standard "X to the face" red spell, but more versatility.
Not sure how Make a Ruckus is supposed to represent what Granny did in the episode, but it is an interesting effect.
Longevity seems awesome. I want that card.
I love creatures with "Any player may do ___ to stop this creature" abilities like Skittish Timberwolf has. Still, he's only marginally bigger than a bear but has a drawback so he would probably be limited fodder.
Seed Collectors is really cool and I'd love to see a deck with them playing a key role.
Doddering Thoughts needs to say "until ___" on that ability. Also, it gives a 75% chance of being able to activate tap abilities at some point each turn, or ~94% in a 4 player game, so it should probably only do the coin flip during one player's upkeep.
Zap Apple Grove looks pretty cool. I think counterspells are rare (and predictable) enough that the downside is pretty minor, but I guess it's still worse than a fetchland.
Which creature does Bee Beard damage, the enchanted one or the other one?
(Also, Beebeard is surely one of Equestria's most feared pirates.)
I'm the slightest bit disappointed that Inscrutable Ritual isn't a ritual in the player jargon sense, but it's a great card: indeed, all of them are. I want a copy of Zap Apple Orchard for each of my WUBRG Commander decks.
I love how the five signs go in reverse of the traditional colour wheel order.
Something about the wording of Doddering Thoughts feels off, like the "this turn" is slightly out-of-place. But that might just be me.
Considering you're supposed to be banging things together, shouldn't Skittish Timberwolf require someone to tap two artifacts?
As for the Fate Reforged pre-release, I picked Abzan and managed to win one game (not match, game) and lose every single one afterwards, mostly from lack of mana. I really need to start upping the amount of mana I put in my draft decks.
I also didn't get a single dragon until the complimentary boosters were passed out, wherein I got four. I did get Ugin's Nexus right off the bat, though, which was awesome.
I'm liking Cutthroat Business. Then again, I love Phyrexian Arenas and its variants a lot. The card has a lot of synergy in itself, giving you more spells to fuel Extort with; a massive problem you run into with Extort is running outta spells. Hell, it can actually negate the downside of being a Phyrexian Arena—that life is coming back to you. A lot.
I kinda want to see Corvid Augury's flavour text say "murder of crows" instead of "flight of crows", but flight gives a sense of action. So I dunno. I do like how a group of crows is called a "murder" a lot, though...
Inspire Shame is awesome. Ever face a W/G enchantment deck, where creatures get enchanted to high hell and Oversoul of Dusk is an absolute pain in the ass to take out because of all that Protection? Yeah, Cruel Edicts and Chainer's Edicts and Diabolic Edicts are nice answers, but that is a cheap black spell that can potentially get rid of enchantments. I like that a ton. It's totally fair.[/totallyunbiasedblackplayer]
Zap Apple Orchard turns a land into a Crystal Quarry for 1 less the activation cost. Hmm... that does offset it slightly if the land gets nuked. It's a 2-for-1 type deal for the opponent.
I wonder if Longevity is a bit too good. It does cost the same as Regeneration, but it has no activation cost, and the ability can only happen once per turn. Ok, maybe not too good, but still mighty appealing. It's like a green Gift of Immortality in a way, except the ways to get around it are easier to see.
Like Skittish Timberwolf since I tend to like creatures that're undercosted but have a massive downside. Like Oona's Prowler, a case where that downside makes it the new Putrid Imp, or can be a nice way to get your opponents to discard for you in a discard deck. Oh, and Filthy Cur is the most absolutely hilarious in this regard.
Zap Apple Grove is an underwhelming Boseijou that won't discourage any blue player much. But the flavour on its effect is awesome. Actually, it can shine late game, when your opponent is near dead. A huge advantage is that it produces coloured mana and has the potential to stay in main, freeing up sideboard.
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Hilariously so. Like, if there's a Vedalken Orray on the field, having only Inscrutable Ritual in your hand makes it near OP.
I dunno. There's a reason why the whole "put two cards from your hand to the bottom of your library" bit is written as the last portion of the effect, and having no cards in hand is that reason. But perhaps I shouldn't question it. It says right on the flavour text that it's confirmed that each step is necessary, no matter how silly. To question its legitimacy is to invite rainbow hued lightning to the noggin.
I can see this card being useful for Dragonstorm decks, where you want to shove a couple of Bogardon Hellkites back into your library from hand so you can Storm them out later and get your OTK.
On the matter of playing your hand til you go to top-deck mode, the Uncle of Machines has a few words to say. It may work some decks like legacy mono red burn, but if your deck ain't relying on creating some massive explosion through massed aggro or combo, then perhaps striving for Hellbent triggers ain't the way to go. The Uncle of Machines is a player who favours control, and often adopts a conservative style of play, especially in Limited. After all, if you still got a hand of cards, you still have options—killspells and removal. If you know you have options, you won't be sweating so much, but your opponent will be. He gets to know how many cards are in your hand, too, but not what they are (as long as you're the type who obscured your hand. Hey now, I can see what cards you have, stop dipping your hand so low). Heh, ever wonder why people ask, "How many cards in hand?" Options = win.
Hmm... how about if you've exhausted all your cards in hand and are now top-decking lands? Your first instinct may be to play that land, but you probably shouldn't. You should be sitting around 5 or 6 land at that point, which should be enough to play most anything in your deck in competitive formats. No, if you don't need the land for something big later and you got a bunch of mans on the field, keep the land in your hand. Or if it's a creature, don't play it. You might need it later. Go ahead and pass turn if it's all you got, put on your poker face and stop making enthusiastic yappy noises with your noise hole.
Ploys are an awesome part of Magic. The Uncle of Machines has been able to stall quite a few alpha strikes this way because they thought I had some removal in hand, which would make the counter attack a game winner, even if they had attacked at that time they would've won the game. And all I actually had in hand were Swamps... after that, it's about building back those options through drawing and bluffing.
Oh, and playing conservatively is how you counter guys who like to Wrath of God every couple of turns. Bounce right back after the nuke comes.
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It'll go over to the creature who's not enchanted.
Also, Beebeard sound like he'd make an awesome story. I can see it... Beebeard, Bee Keeper of the High Seas. I wonder if One Piece ever made Devil Fruit that deals with bee powers...
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What the—this is surprising. I'm used to seeing Foamy lodged into completely random places, and now I guess I'm seeing it in you? Does this make you a fan of most everything, too? You into Magic at all then?
Foamy's headcannon is pretty interesting. Well, the implications that Granny Smith is the Bicentennial Mare (hey, Robin Williams reference!) is rather far out and funny, but there's a lot to like. I think the best was Berry Punch's ability to make fruit rot with a touch, fermenting it into those beverages she loves so much. It's grounded Earth pony magic, so it rather does make sense to me.
<_<
>_>
...I see your Coca-Cola hole ^.^
2731777 I'm a fan of many things, although I've played little enough Magic that these posts become unintelligible to me once the cards start.
AUGH DAMMIT GO DRINK MILK FROM A BAG YOU PERVERT
Actually I misread Zap Apple Orchard and thought it was damaging you instead of damaging the person playing counterspells. This version's fun too, though it seems odd giving a second advantage (even a minor one) to something that's already a dual-land.
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Fair enough.
I guess all you have to know is that if someone's comboing off, start playing Yakety Sax on your phone while the player spends a full 5 to 10 minutes throwing cards around. It will thoroughly be the most boring 5 to 10 minutes of your life and it will suck. Ok, there's other things to know, but that's a big one.
Hey... one thing I don't know about Foamy is his taste in music... he's never mentioned that one, I don't think.
*is drinking chocolate milk that's been poured into a plastic grocery bag*
Guilty as charged ^_^
*continues glugging*
From nothing, jam.
Ex nihilo, poma decocta.
Also, re: Granny Smith: if we want to ignore the "creators not all that bothered about backstory" thing, I will just repeat a phrase I used elsewhere. Equestria is a magical land where death has no lease. It's barely got a time-share.
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17 lands is the magic number for 40 card deck limited play. That, and trying to go for the lower CMC options of your pool. Just don't cut out too many bombs. You'll need them.
Going to have to break the responses into chunks. Blame/thank Brickman. On that note:
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No one said anything about an undying Granny Smith. She's probably going to die within months of the season finale.
...Unless, of course, she's actually a lich, and one of the zap apple trees is her phylactery.
I'm well aware that Sing to the Water is silver-bordered, but it's Granny Smith singing the alphabet. What else would that do?
Humiliating Tendencies was made shortly after the episode aired, and thus before Viper's Kiss. Still, making firebreathing, regeneration, or tap abilities painful but still available seems more fun than simply shutting them down. However, given the aforementioned Kiss, I think I can afford to drop the cost.
Scootagram is red card draw combined with a bit of milling for everyone else... unless they exile instants.
Remember that Peculiar Puppetry can't perform one of Act of Treason's most useful tricks. Since it can only target tapped creatures, you can't take potential blockers.
Make a Ruckus sadly didn't have room for flavor text. The gist of it is being so loud and obnoxious that everyone just tries to go about their day and pretend you aren't there. In other words, Ponyville's reaction to Granny going shopping.
Doddering Thoughts uses a tweaked version of detain, and Off Balance indicates that one-turn Pacifism is a "this turn" rather than "until end of turn" effect. As for the effectiveness, I admit that it's designed to work with one of my pet cards, Chance Encounter.
Giving a dual-land a minor advantage may seem odd, but at least that advantage isn't "gets bigger every time it attacks."
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If I've explored it before, then I don't remember where. It's such an interesting topic that I'd like to give it its own blog... though I can't promise when you'll see it. Between work and racing to finish my More Most Dangerous Game entry...
Well, we'll see.
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I may need to put that one up on the Idea Exchange. I have way too many things to work with as it is.
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They said Blondbeard and Blackbeard were the worst of the worst. Nopony realized that Blackbeard was a stout mare and a barber besides. Now their child sails the seven seas, and the only thing more terrifying than his crew are his buzzing pets.
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"Granny, shouldn't we be makin' mana?"
"Oh, don't get me started on th' fancy mana these days. How many colors're they up to, eight?"
"Five."
"Bah! Back in my day, we didn't need no fancy colors."
"Granny, how old are you?"
"Ain't polite t' ask a lady her age, Inch-High."
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The reverse color wheel thing just kind of happened. Harbinger Starfall was the last design, when I realized I had four fifths of a cycle and needed blue.
I'm fairly certain I'm right with Doddering Thoughts. Compare the Oracle text for Peace Talks.
For Skittish Timberwolf, that's what the mana's for. You're banging the artifact against the land. Or the poor elf's head.
See here for how I did in the prerelease.
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All Auras are 2-for-1's for your opponents. That's why Auras have gotten progressively better over the years. They have to be worth it. Also, it always bothered me that Crystal Quarry generally required you to tap six lands for five mana.
Remember, you can always throw a kill spell at the creature in response to Longevity's trigger.
I try to make my combo decks fairly quick in their execution. Sanguine Bond, Exquisite Blood, Pristine Talisman, good game. (Or Chandra's Spitfire, Raid Bombardment, and Quest for Pure Flame. The longest part of that is calculating how much damage was dealt.)
As for my taste in music? Guess.
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Firstly, thank you for doing the Latin translation. I was hoping someone would.
Also, I find that idea difficult to accept. If death has no purchase, then fear shouldn't have a Shopper's Club card. Granted, a lot of the fear on the show is because of nonlethal peril, but then there are bits like the confrontation with the hydra or Fluttershy's dracophobia.
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Hmm, since it's an objectively weaker version of an effect they just printed (can pay 3 life to do it anyways vs "cannot"), AND the other version comes with a -1/-1 to act as a kill spell on early or utility creatures, maybe Humiliating Tendencies could be a cantrip? Even in Black I'd be willing to pay two mana to cripple a utility creature if I didn't have to give up a card as well (because why would I give up a card to partly shut down some creatures when I can just wait a turn for doom blade or go for the throat and fully shut down most creatures?).
As for Scootagram, you wrote it so that it "draws" a single card. One. As its entire effect. As in, its ONLY positive effect is to conditionally replace itself in your hand.
I submit to your judgement on Peculiar Puppetry, Doddering Thoughts and Zap Apple Grove, since you've got good reasoning. I didn't see the "this turn" in Thoughts when I first read it.
Silver-bordered: Sing to the Water (alphabetical).
Pretty good this time; no edits needed to make it work.