Coffee is bad everyone

So yeah,i was bored and drank a lot of coffee so i couldnt sleep.While reading feeds someone ask what we would respond if a certain holy creature was to come to you (after living six month in equestria,making friends and all that fun stuff) to informs you that you are to be taken back home.So obviously i've writen the most sensible thing to do.

If you want to read it from the source its here https://www.fimfiction.net/group/20/human-in-equestria/thread/176453/one-of-these-comes-to-return-you-to-earth and for thos who doesnt want to spend the next hour seerching i'll put my response down this blog because im SO proud of my lack of inhibition and i dont want to lose this piece of art.
Now that my mission of spreading shit is done i'll go take a nap."Where is my bed"-_- *Spunk* *snore*

Thats the holy creature

My answer:
I stare directly in his eyes.
Strip off my clothes
Do the ugliest suggestive dance ever with this song in the background https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG_6CopW9GQ
Put my clothes on
Spin around and around and around while making chubaka sound
Rip off my shirt
Take two apple from Applejack stand before exploding one on my chest and the other on Diamond Tiara's face making her unconcious
Take the apple pieces on my chest
Lick my hands like an hungry animal
Put Diamond Tiara in the closest trash
Burn my house and all my belonging
Put Tiara's trash horizontally
Kick it down the road
Return my insane look and smile to him before finally asking my most crucial question
"Why the f**K would i do that?"
While my pants and underwear fall to the ground

PS:Only to see,im already back on earth.
PPS:I am not sorry for this