Horse Voice: Everfree Road · 1:24am Jun 4th, 2015
OH, WHAT A CON! WHAT A LOVELY CON!
Yeah, it's probably for the best that I wasn't the driver.
[Surgeon General's warning: The following contains Canadian humour.]
The other day, I got back from my first trip to Everfree Northwest.
I learned something there: These events are so crazy and chaotic, especially for a small-towner like me, that it's difficult to remember every noteworthy occurrence, and even more so to remember everyone you meet in person for the first time. I would like nothing more than to give a full report, but I'm so foggy-brained and generally overwhelmed by the whole thing, a summary of memory fragments will have to suffice.
GaryOak had a blast rubbing shoulders with high-up show staff, which was pretty cool to hear about. But the real highlight for me was chatting in person with not only several of my fans, (including "Flim," of all people) but also fellow writers, including Bookish Delight, Super Trampoline, Xepher, BronyWriter, Somber, GaryOak's pal Trevor, Pen Stroke, Asylum, Brony2893, twilightsparkle3562, Cloud Hop, and the whole Price of Loyalty crew. I met so many neat people, in fact, that I'm sure I've forgotten a few. So if you met Horse Voice this past weekend and you're not mentioned here, by all means jog my memory.
* * *
The first thing I did after crossing the border was try a Milky Way bar. My driver said, "Tape the wrapper to your forehead. There's your cosplay."
I barely remember anything else from the trip south, save that I got to meet GaryOak's first editor, Trevor, who was chill enough to hold a long, civil discussion about international politics with. A good omen indeed.
Interacting with people at conventions is a really odd experience, because it's not like normal conversation. At cons, there isn't enough time to do all the stuff you want, so sometimes a visit will end abruptly, or, if it's toward the end of the weekend, will end with a long goodbye. And then you see the same person in passing after having said goodbye, and you try not to think about how odd it is.
Toward the end of Thursday, I was taken completely by surprise by BronyWriter and Xepher, and made a less-than-articulate first impression. Turns out that after enough time has passed on a long, busy day, my people skills vanish into the aether. If you ever meet me in the evening and my introduction sounds something like "A-BLUH-BLUH-BLUH," that's why. But I like to think I made up for it over the course of the weekend.
Speaking of Xepher, my hat is off to him for having run the writing track so well. If there were any major hitches, I didn't see them. 10/10, would participate again.
* * *
The next day, I met Bookish Delight just before my first panel, and my pal Cameron and I had a few good chin-wags with him over the course of the weekend. We compared notes on Sonic SatAM, our least-favorite episodes, the relative lack of good EqG stories, (which we both aim to fix) and a lot more. I had been a little apprehensive about this meeting, since he and I didn't seem to have much in common on the surface, but he's pretty much impossible to dislike once the ice is broken. Kind of like a big ol' teddy bear. 
On the way home a couple of days later, my pal was heard to quip, "Next time, can we take him back with us?"
I had wanted to get a photo with him as a treat for our respective fans, with him smiling and holding his hands angelically, and myself grinning wickedly and making my own devil horns with my fingers. But in the end I respected his desire for anonymity, since some pony fans' careers have been, shall we say, effected by such publicity.
* * *
Since I traveled light and didn't bring a laptop, I couldn't enter the Iron Author contest, and instead found myself in the role of judge. As I'm not a fast reader, this cut down considerably on my socializing time, and during much of the "author chillout" times, I sat off to the side, reading like the wind. Every time someone tried to talk to me, I looked up at him, said, "I'm a judge!" and tried not to laugh maniacally.
The contenders had a broad range of talent, from obvious first-timers to near-professional veterans. The winner was Loyal Liar's excellent parody of "The Raven," but I was personally quite impressed by A Rocky Voyage, whose author I forget. Look for them both around here in the coming weeks.
As for whether I made a good judge, well, I'll know if I get banned from the next one.
* * *
The second night, GaryOak managed to drag me to a big writer get-together at 13 Coins, a restaurant designed for tourists with deep pockets. There is nothing I hate more than spending money, so I ordered exactly one thing, and that from the breakfast menu. Toward the end, one of the Price of Loyalty crew—Dusk Watch, I think—turned to me and said, "How did you end up with a bill of less than thirty bucks?"
If I hadn't been so tired, I would have informed him that Horse Voice, like Batman, can do the impossible if he has enough time to plan.
* * *
BronyWriter and I never did have enough time to watch movies, but we did get in a good visit and talked about horror films, his extensive bibliography, and more.
Eventually, his roommates got back from a party. These were Pen Stroke, Super Trampoline, and a rock 'n' roller who I think was named Darryl Dustin. The latter took one look at me and said, "Oh my God! It's my childhood in jacket form!"
From then on, every time he saw me in passing, he said, "Patch guy!" and high-fived me if he could get close enough.
* * *
Actually, the jacket was a hit quite a few times. Between writing panels, a guy with a Rage Against the Machine back patch asked me to pause a moment so he could read it.
"Oh my God!" he said. "You have a Dethklok patch!"
"It was a bitch to get," I said.
"Good thing my brother's not here," he said. "He'd try to kill you and take your power."
* * *
A funny thing happened on the way to BW's room. My Pal Cam tagged along for part of the way there, and when we took the elevator down, we happened to step into the one being used by DustyKatt, Lee Tokar, "Big Jim" Miller, and Jayson Thiesson at that exact moment.
If this sounds like the setup for a joke... well, it is.
I decided to keep silent and appear stupid, rather than open my mouth and prove it. But Cam seized the initiative and said, as bold as brass, "Ah damn, I have to share an elevator with Lee Tokar."
This prompted a smattering of chuckles from all present.
Cam turned to Jayson. "Aw, and Jayson too?"
More chuckles.
"You're alright though, Jim," Cam said.
"See?" Jim said. "This guy knows who can break his nose!"
The entire elevator burst out laughing.
* * *
In the community guest lounge, I happened to run into Somber, the Pony Fiction Vault alumnus who wrote the brilliant Simply Rarity. I was more than happy to make his acquaintance, since anyone who can make me sympathize with her is deserving of praise. He said hello a few more times when I happened to cross his path later on, so I guess I didn't geek out that badly.
(I'm sure I geeked out over the "Friendship is Dragons" guy a bit too much when I met him, though. Oops. 
)
* * *
Only three events with an actual show person interested me, and in each case that person happened to be M.A. Larson. These were the Rookie Writers panel, GaryOak's screenwriting panel, and the big solo Larson lecture in the main theatre. I recall all of these being amusing and informative, but for some reason the clearest thing I remember is that there was almost an episode called "Bring on the Thunder." It makes me a little sad how close we got to a Pony episode whose name sounds like a Manowar song title.
* * *
I also had a few good chats with Super Trampoline, whose face I had to memorize twice, due to his cutting off his rather impressive beard between Friday and Saturday. Tell you what, if I could grow facial hair like this guy can, I would do my damnedest to look like Kerry King:
Might need to gain a few pounds, though.
ST also asked me to do a guest chapter for this crazy thing. I wonder if he knows what he's gotten into...
* * *
I also ran into Post-It Pony, and soon found out that you should never say to his face that he'll never "get" you. He's a lot faster than he looks:
Right on the back patch. There is truly no safe place.
* * *
I'm the first to admit I'm cheap, and moreover, the last thing I need is more dust collectors. When I went to the dealer's hall, all I wanted was a Tirek pin to complete the set of villains on my jacket. Then I saw this:
Everyone in my travel crew agreed I was meant to have it.
* * *
In conclusion...
All my life, I've had no shortage of friends, but never a proper tribe. I went to EFNW in part to see if I had found it at last.
I'm still looking.
That said, even if it's not my tribe, it's a nice tribe for this misfit to visit. I got a lot more good feels from this con than I probably would from a metal festival. (There's a little Metallica patch on my jacket, which pegs me for a poseur in a lot people's eyes.)
I can't promise I'll make the next one, but I'll do my damnedest to.
Be well, bronies.
HV
ADDENDUM: I've just been reminded that Dawn Seeker was the first to ever get an autograph from Horse Voice. I really should have remembered, not only for how flattering it was to be asked this by a fan, but also for the hairy circumstances in which it happened. It was at the end of the Rookie Writers panel, and I tried to write it in the few seconds I had before the staff cleared us out. The pen chose this exact moment to start dying, and I managed to scratch the last word out just as the staff were starting to specifically ride my ass.
HV
Did you see the guy in the blue Zoot suit?
Haha that was Dustin. I always say I'm going to do these long winded convention wrapups and then it never happens . But I definitely am going to do at least a short one plugging how awesome a guy you are and that if people like whitespace they'll definitely like your stuff . Thank you for the follow and the fave by the way.
'Twas fun. Too bad I wasn't around you and Bookish more. That's the price I pay for being a main stage panel whor(s)e.
3121809
Aha! I knew it started with a "D"!
Thank you, and you're welcome! I wish I had read "whitespace" a long time ago, 'cause I'll be surprised if I ever see a scarier take on changelings. (I also wish I had written it, eheh.
)
3121919
A three-day event just isn't enough time to do all the stuff you want. Maybe we can set aside a few minutes next year.
3121696
Since most people were dressed outlandishly, it's very possible I did and forgot. Refresh my memory?
Aw, you didn't list me in your EFNW highlight reel! Was I that unmemorable?
Great anecdotes, though, especially the elevator story. Glad you had fun!
3122133 *rehashes tired joke about your being a changeling being the reason none of us saw you at ever free Northwest*
3121974
you better believe
I've got tricks up my sleeveI'm using that quote. It's quite an honor to be bestowed such praise. I would be delighted to have you as an advisor when I get around to writing its spiritual successor, https://www.fimfiction.net/story/198786/if-youre-going-to-go-out-go-out-with-a-bangCooolzers. Are you going to Bronycan this year?
3122133
Glad you haven't lost your sense of humour!
But seriously, I just had a conversation with my new boss, and it looks like I'll probably be able to make the next one. We're on a collision course after all!
3122201
As flattering as the request is, I don't know how helpful I'll be, as it's about a lot of subject matter I don't really understand.
But I would be happy to help with something more familiar, when the time comes.
3123033
Turns out I probably can make it, if only for the one day.
don't forget me i got your first autograph
3124353
Right! Please don't be offended by my forgetfulness.
My only excuse is that I'm starting a new career, and my mind is so chaotic, something was bound to slip through the cracks. Gonna add that bit now.
And now I can't stop laughing. Also blushing, but mostly laughing.
Dude, you were fantastic. Definitely a pleasant surprise on my end as well--a joy to talk to and brainstorm with. Please come back again.
Though if you're taking me with you to Canada, you'll need to put me up in a place with central heating or I will freeze.
3124384
And you also!
On that note, I talked to my new boss, and I can probably wrangle the necessary six days at the same time next year, as long as I prove myself useful enough before then. And next year, it's Horizon's turn to get Horse Voice's "GUESS WHOOOO!" treatment.
(No good without central heating, huh? And here we are in the one warm-ish part of the country that doesn't have it. So much for that plan. Dang it, now he's got me doing the tiny text thing.)
3123638 Yay!
EFNW '15 was like a mix of HempCon and BronyCon.
Another con-goer told me that I stopped in the middle of a conversation and stared at a tree for 5 minutes.
God Bless America. This is what happens when you actually vote, people.
3124376 Not a problem friend it was nice getting to meet the man behind the horse skull
my smile was so wide it hurt and for some odd reason kept twitching
also "much respect" to you too