Celestia's exhausted personal paperweight.
While Tia's busy having her moment, I'll just quietly open the mailbox here. Leave your questions as per usual, dear readers, and she will answer them when she gets around to it.
No answers will be given today, for what I should hope are obvious reasons in the letter.
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What are your opinions on each of twilight's friends, her brother, as well as your sister?
Celestia already answered a few of these questions when I wrote them in reply to the second to last letter, However, the questions she did not respond to I feel require context, so I'm copying my original letter here.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Do you have anything to say about all of these unicorns cropping up everywhere that have a talent in magic? And how they all have similar names. Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, and arguably Trixie Lulamoon. Seeing a pattern there? Trixie is and illusionist, so she doesn't quite fit with the other three, but did those first three all attend your school for gifted unicorns? Two out of three were your personal students. Seriously, what is going on?
A concerned citizen
P.S. Has anyone ever before attempted to remove or alter cutie marks before? And yes, I know about that potion that gives ponies Cutie Pox. I'm talking about experimental spells, rituals, or incantations. How much research gone into Cutie Marks? And if the answer to above questions are "no", how much magical energy would you say it would require to remove a Cutie Mark? Also, you find out about a town where everyones' Cutie Marks are the same, and have been removed by a power mad unicorn who kept them contained in a vault, and you're worried about your maps being up to date!? Priorities, mare, priorities.
Dear Princess Who Happens To Run A School,
Do people at the School For Gifted Unicorns ever call you "Principal Celestia?"
If so, do you like that? or is it better if they call you "Princess" all the time?
Does Luna run a school?
If so, what's it called?
Does Luna have a student, like you have Twilight?
A nerdy unicorn who doesn't really want to go to your school but will gladly go to Luna's school any day of the week.
Dear Princess Celestia:
I learned this today: some mares like trixie talk sh*t. What else can I say? To make it worse, they're cocky; always leavin' you sweatin' but when they're talkin' like a BI**H then GO AND TEACH THEM A LESSON!
PS: The Bi**h doesn't know what a Nightmare Night she's bringing when she puts on this show.
Dear Princess Celestia:
Have you ever considered publishing a history book, I imagine being a living witness to history would make for several good stories?
Dear Princess Celestia,
In the future, will you open your school for everyone? I say everyone because there are tons of magical creatures in the world and your school would be a nice place for intelligent earth ponies and pegasi to learn things, like engineering or astronomy. Times are changing, princess, maybe we should start with your school?
signed, A dapper
changelingearth pony who is not an undercover agent.Dear princess Celestia
On behalf the other nobility, they have asked me to represent them in such matters, you will forgive my tardiness in this reply as I have trouble keeping up with current events with foals at my factories always complaining they only get eight hours off each day and can't go to school. I wish they understand they don't need school I have provided them a meaningful career they can work for as long as I am successful. Still that is a topic for another time, by the way is eqaustrian borders going to lessen the terrible restriction on child labor soon I do hope so, my businesses would be easier to get to if they were closer to home, however I must selve that for latter and address the biggest issue of this century. Twilight sparkle of low birth ascended to the rank of a princess I believe is an insult to the nobility. You must allow one of us to take her place, I would gladly handle the responsibilities of princesshood and help you raise more tax money by of course placing a new tax code that would make these lazy poor ponies pay their fair share. After all we the wealthy are burden and desperately need reprieve, and there is plenty those beneath us take for granted yet pay such a minimalism rates. And rather then devote her princess abilities to protect a worthless asset such as ponyvill we should concentrate the elements of harmony right here in canterlot where the important ponies are. I can help you depose of such worthless laws that promote equality and don't put the poor in their proper place, I eagerly await your reply.
Sincerely a wealthy baron.
P.S.
I am sorry to cut off this letter short without explaining the benefits of nobilities rule further or such but its come to my attention beggars are at my mansion door step and I am going to donate some eggs to them.
Are the rotten eggs properly ripe jeeves? they are excellent get my throwing glove. We gots some poor people to teach.
Dear
Princessfriend Luna,I was unable to move my castle, apparently doing so would cause a magical disaster, the reasons why will be published in my new thesis called "Stupid magic leylines and you", yes I was a bit cranky when I wrote it. However, there is a lot of room in it, so at least it means I could stash a lot more books that I had at the library. You are welcome to visit at any time, any hour, and use the Royal Canterlot voice, specially if there are visits. Yes, I do plan to open a new library there, but is gonna take time.
Also please don't visit the basement, Discord was there and ran away screaming. No, I won't tell you what did it, but lets just say I borrowed the idea from the crystal Kingdom.
Your fellow princess, Twilight Sparkle.
PS: Was that okay? I am not very good writing informal letters.
No Spike, I am not trying to use Luna to scare away annoying ponies that aren't Pinkie Pie, that's what I got Fluffy for. Yes I am quite aware having a mini Cerberus as a pet is not exactly legal, that's why I applied it under the royal exception act that allows a princess to have as many weird pets as they want as long as they are responsible and pay for the damages.
Fluttershy? No, is not part of a bigger plan to get all my friends to move to the castle with me, even if I would like that. No, you and Owlicius count as assistants, not pets. Yes I guess Rarity's boutique would fit inside one of the bigger rooms, but having Fluttershy's animals around and Applejack turning half the place into a farm would drive me nuts.
No, you cannot have the basement to hold your hoard, you are legally not allowed to have a big hoard until three decades from now. What? You thought there would no legal repercussions from that incident back then? You are lucky working at a library and later for a princess counts as community service. Plus the basement scared Discord away, trust me, you do not want to go there.
Hey don't cry, I am sorry, I am still cranky okay? Tell you want, I will invite Rarity for tea and you can follow her around.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I have enclosed a stamp with the name "Applejack" written on it. Perhaps you can use that when you write letters?
Dear Princess Celestia
Do you really move the sun? Or are you just turning the planet to face the sun? Did you get your cutie mark from staring at the sun too long? Did you ever forget to start the day? If there's such thing as moonshine, is there a sunshine? Can you make the day start later? It'd be nice to sleep in sometimes. just sometimes, it'd be a nice surprise to wake up and not have the sun in my eyes.
Sincerely, that young stallion with the
prescriptionsunglasses, Carrot GoldDear my faire Princess, bringer of sun, and majestic mare of power,
I have wondered, have you, Luna, or Cadance considered taking up students? Sunset is now Twilight's student, but have you considered it?
Also, do you have plans for a sort of Job Location Service? For ponies who have a talent but don't know how to use it? For instance, a talent for magic, such is beheld by Princess Twilight, Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, and myself.
Lastly, I would like to request a visit to the castle, as a friend of mine is coming in from Manehattan, and as she has never been to Canterlot, I want to make her welcome in this fine city.
Signed- Lunar Glow
The white unicorn noble with dusk blue hair? The guy with the Phoenix that Philomena likes to play with? The NOT uptight one? Yeah, can I have a job at the castle? I wish to honor and serve my country(world, universe?), and I wish to be not just a servant, but a friend. Ask Quillamore. She knows me.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Now that the option is available, have you considered corresponding with Sunset Shimmer and/or your analogue in the human world?
Dear Princess Celestia
Your disdain of the Canterlot nobility is very noticeable (except by them, as I suspect their ego's are so large that they cannot actually realise how hated they are by basically everypony else in Equestria) and yet you still have to deal with them on a constant basis. How have you resisted the urge to just banish the lot of them to the moon for so long. I mean I doubt you always just ignore them, but honestly, I doubt anypony would mind if the lot of them just got a few years in lunar time out (unless Luna takes offense to them being on her moon. Maybe Tartarus would be more suitable). How important are they really?
Sincerely Pontiac56
PS- If they do go away for a while Luna will be able to take her dragons out for walkies without causing the ponies to run around screaming.
Dear Celestia,
How did you get your cutie mark?
~~DarkSpeed
3129474 In a previous fan mail response, she has stated they serve exactly one use. Taxes. A large percentage of the revenue that the Crown brings in is from the high income tax bracket. And she uses these funds for public works and the likes. A "legal Robin Hood" as she referred to it.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I was just wondering if there were any of the nobles that you were able to, if not like, tolerate. I honestly understand your dilemma and your preference to let Brutus do most of the talking with them, but they can't all be complete nimrods, can they?
Best Regards
Angel_Alchemist
Dear Princess Celestia:
You know what else Twilight would appreciate? Pancakes.
Your Not-So-Faithful Subject
Hclegend
P.S. Amateratsu is best sun goddess.
To her royal highness, Princess Celestia.
I am considering writing a thesis on the Elements of Harmony, (and have in fact been
pesteringin communication with your former student for this purpose) however there is one question I believe only you can answer.When you used the Elements on
your sisterher royal highness Princess Luna, they banished her to the Moon indefinitely. (I understand she broke out with some assistance from her stars.) However, when your then-student and her friends tried the same thing, they gave her a magical therapy session instead.So, your Highness, my question is simply this: why the difference?
Your faithful subject,
Under Sky
Your Solar Majesty,
First, I would like to thank you for answering my other question. If it isn't too much trouble, though, I would like to ask another that has only recently crossed my mind: since cats (and a few other animals) are crepuscular, do they fall under your domain, or Luna's? Or do they, perhaps, have a secret government of their own, in charge of all the in-between, twilit moments? Do they simply answer to you both, like us ponies do? (Would that mean that Princess Luna can see their dreams, as well as ours?)
I know it's a lot of questions, and I know that I've already had one answered. But if you would find it in your heart (and schedule) to answer these, I'd be extremely grateful.
Your loyal subject,
Shooting Star
Dear Princess Celestia,
Do you ever miss Starswirl?
From,
Lionpaw315
P.S. Do you know Ammy?
3129733 Fair enough
http://o.aolcdn.com/hss/storage/fss/bc2156bd615f7b93cdcd4bf9220125ea/AppleJack_Maverik.jpg
Dear Princess Celestia,
Now I know you are only used to receiving letters via magic from your faithful student/fellow princess and her friends, but Spike was more than willing to help after promising that I would take pictures of Rarity at night when she's asleep for him.
But enough about that misdemeanor... Princess. I have taken Applejack of Sweet Apple Arces hostage. If you want her returned safely, you will leave five million bits in five unmarked sacks of holding, on the outskirts of Ponyville where Sweet Apple Acres brushes up with the Everfree Forest. Once I have my bits, I will then return Applejack safely to her family.
And don't even think about sending the "Cutie Mark Crusaders" after me! There's no such thing as a, "Hostage Negotiators" Cutie Mark! And if I see them, I swear to the Pony Goddess Faust that I will do things to her that have only been written about in the fanfics of Bronies! I may even enjoy it!
And don't worry. Take as long as you need to gather the money. She's so soft and huggable!
Signed, Your Faithful Ponynapper,
The MaveriKat
3130812 Lionpaw... do you by any chance like cat books? Or is your name just in reference to an actual lion's paw?
3140206 To answer your question, I do in fact enjoy cat books.
Favorite is Hollyleaf~
3142733 I'm tied between Bluestar and Leafpool, although Yellowfang is a close second. For me, Warriors is an obsession to rival that with MLP and Harry Potter
Dear Princess Celestia.
How many plushies are there in Lunas room?
Signed: A Dark Subspace Being With No Name.
Dear Sun Princess.
Your sun is too damn bright. Could you turn it down a bit?
Sincerely,
Halfmoon, a tired thestral.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I, Doc Glitch, would like to join you on one of your many drinking sprees about the town. Don't worry, my head is a hole in the fabric of space and time, I can certainly hold my liquor. Along with any amount of matter that I also happen to accidentally consume. I'm certain we both could be wonderful friends again, considering I had to wipe your memory the last time you tried to seduce me into removing Discord permanently. It didn't work then, Tia, and it most certainly will not work now.
In any case, bring a bottle of reverse-Griffon Scotch, and we'll call it a day that lasts until Luna stops trying to kill me.
With amusement,
Doc Glitch
P.S. Tell Philomena her bet is off.
Dear Princess Celestia,
How would you feel to being psychoanalyzed by me?
Sincerely,
Morticus
AKA Pale Pony
He Who Trots On Eight Legs
Death