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FanOfMostEverything


Forget not that I am a derp.

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Aug
16th
2015

Friendship is Card Games: MMMystery on the Friendship Express · 10:27am Aug 16th, 2015

The references. Good God, the references. Agatha Christie, Ian Fleming, Arthur Conan Doyle... Is it any wonder I've cast Pinkie as Discord's mother?

Big Macintosh strains himself to hold up the MMMM. This from the stallion who uprooted a house. Is the secret ingredient neutronium?

Ironically enough, it seems like Mr. Cake has low blood sugar. Fainting that frequently seems like it’d be indicative of poor health.
Still, if the Cakes treat their kids half as well as they treat the MMMM… Well, Pound and Pumpkin may actually find it a little stifling. Even if they get six awesome aunts to play with.

I’m pretty sure train cars can’t just have the sides removed like that. To say nothing of the Team Fortress 2 school of reassembly: Whack with blunt object until mechanism is operational.

Ah, Gustave le Grande. Only the second griffin we ever get to see, and the first male. And a demonstration that it’s possible to grow a mustache on a beak. Who knew? (Perhaps he has a unicorn refresh it regularly…)

You know, given that Celestia has eaten at Joe’s, you’d think it’d already be famous. I suppose it takes more than that to stand out in Canterlot.

As for Mulia Mild, it’s nice to see that mules can be more than the butts of racist jokes. Apparently, they can also make Prench cooking accessible to the masses.

Most ponies’ hair is dead, but as I’ve noted time and again, Pinkie Pie is not most ponies.

There is some marvelous irony in thanking Celestia for the continued integrity of a cake. Especially just after “Ponyville Confidential” aired.

Once again, Twilight demonstrates that reading books is the path to omniscience. Who needs to be trained in forensic investigation when you can just read Fetlock Holmes?

Equestria apparently has lasers, or at least knows of them. And now I want to see what Equestrian science fiction is like.

I do like that Twilight partakes of the bubble pipe once she dons the deerstalker. Not so above the silliness herself, or she’s just getting into character.

“By Jove, I think I’ve got it!” They know of Jove? I mean, I’ve posited a noble house of Jupiter, but that’s part of the “planetary dynast” headcanon that incorporates four extra alicorns.
I know, I know, it’s just an expression, but one that comes with some mythological baggage. Still, given the amount of Greek influence in Equestria, maybe some manner of Zeus was present at some point. I wonder if Europa was a cow the whole time…

Rarity has a most unfortunate mutation if she needs those false eyelashes. No other mare seems to need them… though I suppose “seems” is the operative word here. Who knows how many other mares have unusually fine lashes? (That, or Rarity scorched hers off while forging something recently.)

Okay, most of the evidence makes sense, but in what way does someone eat eclairs so as to get some in his hair?

The question of the distance between Ponyville and Canterlot continues. Here, it seems they're far enough apart not just for an overnight train, but one that leaves enough time for two investigations of dessert destruction. The most likely explanation is that this train was going more slowly than usual to avoid disrupting the more delicate entries, like the MMMM and Donutopia. Of course, that begs the question of how Equestria's single-track railways handle bidirectional traffic, both local and express trains...
Yeah, I'm taking this bit way too seriously. Since the train I took into New York had to sit idle for twenty minutes as we waited for two trains to pass by in the wrong direction, I'm rather sensitive to locomotive matters right now.

I am strongly tempted to make a joke about something eating reality given that ending. Either Pinkie, an Eldrazi, or some combination thereof.

And that should be enough time for the cards to be loaded. I just hope no one's eaten them.

Pegassistance 2W
Tribal Enchantment — Pegasus
2, Tap an untapped Pegasus you control: Regenerate target permanent.
Ponies are always willing to lend a helping wing.

Dramatic Lighting 3W
Enchantment
Whenever another permanent enters the battlefield under your control, it gains hexproof and indestructible until your next turn.
Presentation may not be everything, but sometimes, it's enough.

Thought Bubble 1U
Enchantment
Whenever an opponent casts a spell, that player puts the top card of his or her library into his or her graveyard.
Spending enough time around Pinkie Pie can make your head feel like it's exploding even without magic.

Suave Stallion 2U
Creature — Pony Rogue
Suave Stallion can’t be blocked by Ponies, by Pegasi, or by Unicorns.
Mares want him. Stallions want to be him.
2/3

Wild Surmise 2U
Instant
Draw two cards. If you control no red or green permanents, discard a card.
"Genius and insanity are by no means mutually exclusive. Sometimes, I suspect the opposite."
—Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic

Drift Off 3U
Sorcery
Tap all untapped creatures target player controls. Those creatures don’t untap during that player’s next untap step.
”All creatures must sleep. It cannot be denied, only delayed.”
—Princess Luna

Stretch Flesh B
Instant
Target creature gets +2/-2 until end of turn.
"I try to leave fewer grotesqueries in my wake these days, but these things happen."
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

Marzipan Mutilation 1B
Instant
Target player loses X life, where X is 3 plus the amount of life that player has gained this turn.
"Happiness is a lot more fragile than most ponies like to admit."
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

Final-Strike Mule 3B
Creature — Pony Donkey Ninja
Ninjutsu BB (BB, Return an unblocked attacker you control to your hand: Put this card onto the battlefield from your hand tapped and attacking.)
Whenever Final-Strike Mule deals combat damage to a player, destroy target creature that player controls if that creature was dealt damage this turn.
2/2

Trackbinder 4B
Creature — Griffin Rogue
Flying
Metalcraft — 1BB, T: Destroy target creature. Activate this ability only if you control three or more artifacts.
Some forms of murder require more infrastructure than others.
2/2

Equestrian Engineer 2R
Creature — Pony Artificer
Artifact creatures you control have trample.
"Brakes are applied on an as-needed basis. I don't see any need here."
2/2

Security Grid 2R
Enchantment
Whenever a permanent you control becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, Security Grid deals 1 damage to that player.
Inventing the laser occurs much earlier when a decent fraction of the population can fire them out of their foreheads.

Shovel Coal 3R
Sorcery
Add R to your mana pool for each artifact you control.
You can gather all the riches of the earth, but they will be meaningless if you lack the means to harness them.

Ravenous Ruin 1G
Sorcery
Each player sacrifices an artifact or enchantment, then gains life equal to that permanent’s converted mana cost.
"You can eat anything if you pile on enough applesauce."
—Applejack, Bearer of Honesty

Delectable Description 2G
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant artifact or enchantment you control
When enchanted permanent is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, you may draw up to three cards.
0: Destroy enchanted permanent. Only any opponent may activate this ability.

Alarm Hat 2
Artifact — Equipment
While choosing targets as part of casting a spell or activating an ability, your opponents must choose equipped creature if able.
Equip 2
Pinkie Pie doesn't do "subtle."

Infiltration Gear 2
Artifact — Equipment
Whenever equipped creature attacks, tap target creature defending player controls.
Equip 1
"I can neither confirm nor deny any intelligence-gathering branches of the Equestrian government, nor any tools they might possess."
—Princess Celestia

Landing Pad 2
Artifact
Sacrifice Landing Pad: When target creature dies this turn, return that card to the battlefield under its owner’s control.
"I know there's been times I've wanted one."
—Rainbow Dash, Bearer of Loyalty

Sleuth’s Deerstalker 3
Artifact — Equipment
Whenever equipped creature attacks, scry 1.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, draw a card.
Equip 2
”Fetlock Holmes never wore one in the books, you know.”
—Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic

Mousse Moose 5
Artifact Creature — Elk
1B: Mousse Moose gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
1G: Mousse Moose gains trample until end of turn.
Not all mighty creations begin in stone and steel.
3/3

Lightheadedness (wu)
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Whenever a player casts a spell, tap enchanted creature.
Drama can all too frequently block the flow of oxygen to a pony's brain.

Deep Investigation 2(ub)(ub)
Sorcery
Look at the top three cards of each library. You may put any number of those cards into their owners' graveyards. Put the rest back in any order (on their respective libraries).
The truth lies in plain sight to anyone who cares to look.

Comments ( 11 )

For some reason, I like this best:

Inventing the laser occurs much earlier when a decent fraction of the population can fire them out of their foreheads.

:twilightsmile::pinkiehappy::raritywink:



Duplicate Text:

return that card to the battlefield to the battlefield under its owner’s control.

”All creatures must sleep. It cannot be denied, only delayed.”

Technically not true. Maybe "All creatures with minds" would be more accurate.

Also, in light of the Hearth's Warming Episode, the choice of cake thieves is rather interesting...

Okay, most of the evidence makes sense, but in what way does someone eat eclairs so as to get some in his hair?

This is possible, kids are especially adept at this. More so when you are not looking.

You could think of it as thanking Celestia for not swooping down to devour your cake. I know I would.

The rules text on Suave Stallion looked odd to me. I went looking and could only find one card that dealt with preventing blocking by multiple creature types, all the other "can't be block by" deal with power, color or some intrinsic trait (flying, shadow or horsemanship).
I think it should read "Suave Stallion can’t be blocked by Ponies, Pegasi, or Unicorns." since the Torch doesn't have a second "by".

I'm going to have to disagree with the princes on Drift Off, your standard Elf in D&D doesn't sleep, neither do the majority of Undead. Everything must rest at some point, but that doesn't mean sleep.

I like Marzipan Mutilation, it is something I could see them actually printing. A good spell in an of itself, three life for 1B at instant speed, but is just even better against life gain decks.

The wording on Final-Strike Mule is a little wonky, I think it should be "Whenever Final-Strike Mule deals combat damage to a player, destroy target creature that player controls that was dealt damage this turn.", because that is how other cards phrase it.
And based on the name I think you were basing it sort of off the second card linked.

I'm going to have to disagree with the farmer on Ravenous Ruin, you cannot eat dentics, even if you fry them.
Well, I mean you an but they just won't be digested and cause you all sorts of trouble that is just not worth it.

I'm not sure why Alarm Hat is so expensive, on both the casting cost and the equip. Sure it is a repeatable Flag but that only costs W to cast and isn't really that strong of an ability most times, though being a lighting rod to keep other, more important, creatures safe is indeed very strong is used properly.
Maybe 1 to cast and 1 to equip? It just seems over-costed to me.

Oh, and then you have Infiltration Gear, which seems under-costed to me. Being able to tap down a defender on attack is pretty powerful, especially combined with any other sort of tap, destruction or blocking prevention.
It looks like this effect is a rider on other things, +1/+1 for 1W and +3/+3 for 3W (or a 3/3 with the effect for 6W) and then you have it on an otherwise vanilla 2/2 for 2W.
I'd put this card as a 2 cast 2 equip because it can be used over and over again as creatures die.
Also, princess, the whole "neither confirm nor deny thing" translates to "yes, this thing totally exists" in people's heads. But, well, plausible deniability is also a thing.

Ahh, Mousse Moose, that joke never gets old.[/sincerity]

The correct prayer for an intact cake: "Dear Princess Celestia, Thank you for having not yet devoured this confection before us..."

Also, I like how the villain is *all of her friends except Twilight*. And none of them said anything. Great friendship there, guys!

---

Cards are pretty good overall, I'm too tired to talk about them all individually.

What's Stretch Flesh supposed to be about?

Trackfinder's flavor text made me grin. Same for Equestrian Engineer. And Sleuth’s Deerstalker (also the effect is nice for that one).

Delectable Description looks like a great combo card, especially with stuff that already dies after a few turns (like cards with fading/vanishing), or other sacrifice effects.

3325766 The Stretch Flesh, I believe, is when she distends her mouth at the end to engulf the grotesquery in one gulp.

You know, it's really confusing that Final-Strike Mule doesn't have last strike.

According to Merseine, the correct wording for Delectable Description would end in “Any player may activate this ability, but only if they are an opponent.” WotC would probably rewrite the rules to make this unnecessary, though.

4430173
Hey, it works out fine for Final-Sting Faerie. Besides, since it's an if clause, by the time the ability resolves, it can kill a blocker.

Looking back, I do wish we'd known about Vehicles when this episode came up. Equestrian Engineer would be an easy Pilot design.

I am strongly tempted to make a joke about something eating reality given that ending. Either Pinkie, an Eldrazi, or some combination thereof.

And that should be enough time for the cards to be loaded. I just hope no one's eaten them.

Wow, I'd forgotten that ending. Pinkie is definitely channeling Ulamog. And remember, don't eat the delicious cards.

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