Friendship is Card Games: Apple Family Reunion · 1:31pm Dec 13th, 2015
This week, Applejack tries to run a convention, and manages to run it into her house.
“Gesundhoof” is canon. 
Why is “gesundhoof” canon?
I’m fairly certain that this episode marks the first use of “moon” as a unit of time in Friendship is Magic. I understand why. Continuity issues were already raising their ugly heads, and it seemed like everything and its mother had been banished for a thousand years. The writers needed some wiggle room, so they introduced a measure of time that does for Equestria’s continuity what quads do for Starfleet’s computer science. A moon isn’t necessarily a night or a month. It’s however long it needs to be.
Huh. There are Apples in Hollow Shades? I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, but given how it seems to be the eldritch capital of Equestria, I can only imagine what grows there.
I do like Granny Smith demonstrating the disturbing malleability of pony flesh. Or at least that of her flesh. It’s moments like this that make me wonder if she ever pursued the path of the party pony, especially given the G3 reference in “Too Many Pinkie Pies” and how long Granny’s neck stays stretched out after Applejack calls her old. Yikes.
Hungry baby Applejack is adorable and hilarious, even to this day.
Ah, yes. The twin shooting stars, showing up when Granny Smith mentions how the entire Apple family has RSVP’d and again at the end. The closest the show ever came to acknowledging Applejack’s dead parents up until it got slipped in while we were still reeling from the Crusaders getting their cutie marks.
(Of course, it could be argued that they’re actually part of Equestria’s space program. Given the inconsistent technology levels, it’s not totally inconceivable. 
)
Seeing Apple Bloom buck a tree gives me the same warm feeling as watching Scootaloo hover or Sweetie Belle telekinese.
It’s very nice to see Applejack tackle different flaws in her episodes. Her friends chipping in during the preparation montage shows how far she’s come since “Applebuck Season,” while what’s to come shows how far she still has to go. Also, it’s interesting to see Spike contribute in a situation where Twilight doesn’t. It’s nice to see him show a little independence.
Wagons, stagecoaches, hoofing it, all what I’d expect. But which Apples arrived in the zeppelin?
I'd forgotten Hayseed Turniptruck is an Apple.
Those foals are willing to put up with quite a lot, perhaps out of fear. A pony mad enough to design that course is capable of anything.
Wow. Those sewing machines are clearly gas-powered, what with the ripcord and the engine noise loud enough that the quilters should probably be wearing ear protection. That implies a whole petrochemical processing industry. No wonder Celestia wanted to get into Saddle Arabia’s good graces in “Magic Duel.” (See what I mean about tech levels?)
Sadly, Apple Bloom did not earn her cutie mark in Wilhelm screaming.
“Gotta keep this assembly line movin’, gals.”
Model AJ fritters come in whatever flavor you want, as long as it’s apple. Also, while Applejack did indeed roll, fold, and crimp, she actually slid the fritters to the viewer’s left, which is her right. I’m pinning that one on enthusiasm.
Applejack’s mistake is entirely understandable. She’s a practical pony at heart, and while she well knows the joys of family, she’s used to running a farm, where there’s very little room for sentimentality. (Other than personifying the trees, as Bloomberg can attest.) You can’t cultivate memories like a crop, but AJ forgot that once she went into administrator mode. That’s her talent, overseeing and coordinating a complex, multiperson operation. It’s just being misapplied in a case where the activities aren’t as important as the people with whom you’re doing them.
I’m going to go on record as saying that I never once heard “Racist Barn” during the musical number.
Wait, Babs took a taxi here? Sheesh, imagine the fare. She must be the Oranges’ daughter. That or her father’s a taxi driver, but it seems like the company would frown on using its property for personal reasons.
Okay, Granny just winked at the screen. And this isn’t the first time she’s done that (cf. "Sleepless in Ponyville.") She was definitely a party pony, or at least had the potential.
Something of a bittersweet milestone: This is the very last episode where somepony dictates a friendship lesson letter to Celestia.
Now, over here, we’ve got trading card creation. Y’all just settle in and get to brainstorming. I made a few to start you off:
Buckethelm Commandos 1W
Creature — Pony Soldier
Buckethelm Commandos gets +0/+1 for each artifact you control.
Tough as nails and just as useful.
2/1
Face Lift 1W
Instant
Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. Untap that creature. You may have any number of target Auras attached to that creature lose all abilities that aren’t enchant abilities until end of turn.
Magic is a part of all equine medicine, including plastic surgery.
Crazy Quilters 1WW
Creature — Pony Elder Artificer
Artifact and enchantment spells your opponents cast cost 2 more to cast.
Between the gossip, the arthritis, and the complaints about today’s youth, they finish one stitch every few minutes.
1/3
Lend Aid 2W
Sorcery
Creatures you control gain exalted until end of turn. (Whenever a creature you control attacks alone, that creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each instance of exalted among permanents you control.)
Ponies love to contribute to a common cause.
Seven-Legged Racers 2W
Creature — Pony Citizen
Seven-Legged Racers can’t attack alone.
Ponykind’s great gift for cooperation is balanced by needing to coordinate twice as many legs.
3/4
Obstacle Course 4WW
Enchantment
Whenever a creature attacks, exile it. Return it to the battlefield under attacking player’s control tapped and attacking at the beginning of the declare attackers step on that player’s next turn.
”Seriously?”
—Apple Bloom
Sign from Beyond 3U
Sorcery
Scry X, where X is the number of cards you own in exile, then draw two cards.
Luna knows the true nature of both stars and souls, truths she has shared with only a precious few.
Family Reunion 3BB
Sorcery
Each player returns all creature cards of the type of his or her choice from his or her graveyard to the battlefield.
Granny Smith had thought Auntie Applesauce had passed in her sleep last year, but if nopony else was saying anything, she didn’t want to make a scene.
Fingle Fangle 1R
Enchantment
Whenever an opponent activates an activated ability that isn’t a mana ability, that player flips a coin. If he or she loses the flip, counter that ability. Otherwise, sacrifice Fingle Fangle.
After the first twelve tries, Sugar Smith finally remembered to knot the end of the thread.
Draconic Ignition 2R
Instant
As an additional cost to cast Draconic Ignition, you may reveal a Dragon card from your hand.
Add RRRR to your mana pool. If you revealed a Dragon card or controlled a Dragon as you cast Draconic Ignition, add an additional RRR to your mana pool.
Barn Razing 3RR
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast Barn Razing, sacrifice a land.
Destroy two target lands.
All of Applejack’s hopes fell with her home.
“Raise This Barn” 1G
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on “Raise This Barn”.
G, Sacrifice “Raise This Barn”: Reveal the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of verse counters on “Raise This Barn”. Put all land cards revealed this way onto the battlefield tapped and the rest into your graveyard.
Swarm of Fruitbats 1G
Creature — Plant Bat
Flying
T: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.
Ungula’s natural selection favors puns and rainbows as much as it does fitness.
0/3
Sweeten the Deal 1G
Enchantment
When Sweeten the Deal enters the battlefield, draw a card.
As an additional cost to cast spells, you may have each opponent gain 2 life. If you do, that spell can’t be countered by spells or abilities.
You catch more behemoths with honey than with vinegar.
Growing Family 2GG
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, put X 2/2 green Pony creature tokens onto the battlefield, where X is half the number of Ponies you control, rounded down.
”I need to hire a dozen extra ponies when the Apples send out reunion invitations.”
—Ditzy Doo
Hollow Shades Homesteader 3G
Creature — Pony Warrior
Deathtouch, protection from black
”We grow all the necessities: garlic, wolfsbane, apples…”
2/3
Cider Trough 3
Artifact
2: You gain 2 life. Any player may activate this ability. (The player who activates the ability gains the life.)
“Don’t fret. Germs won’t last long in there. Just don’t let the foals near it.”
—Applejack, Bearer of Honesty
Yonder Hill Skyboat 4
Artifact Creature — Construct
Flying
2: Target attacking or blocking creature gains flying until end of turn. Activate this ability only if Yonder Hill Skyboat is attacking or blocking.
It’s far easier to go over the many valleys of the Yonder province than through them.
2/2
Ravenous Foal 1(rg)
Creature — Pony Child
(rg), Sacrifice a noncreature permanent: Ravenous Foal gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
A growing pony’s magic demands a terrifying amount of food.
1/1
Hectic Hayride 2BG
Sorcery
Search your library for three basic land cards and put them onto the battlefield tapped. Then shuffle your library. You lose 3 life.
You’ll see beautiful vistas if you can stop screaming long enough to appreciate them.
Fritter Folders 3(gu)W
Creature — Pony Citizen
Lifelink
Whenever you gain life, draw a card.
”Roll, fold, crimp, slide to the left. Roll, fold, crimp, slide to the left. Roll, fold, crimp…”
2/4
Obstacle Course: the only race a Meandering Towershell can win!
It's got the last friendship letter? I never realized that. :O
This leads to what i have been thinking about for some time, and to why Celestia has been slowly fading away (Seriously, only two speaking roles in season five). These girls, while still growing as characters through ad venture or teaching others, have been needing Celestia less and less. Why? Well, that's because they've grown up. They don't need to write letters because they've learned what they needed to and now its time to move on and show the world what they've learned. Muh like how they no longer needed little jewels to prove themselves as the elements, because they have been and always will be the elements of harmony.
Celestia's role as a mentor is becoming less and less...nessecary.
Wow, this was really the last friendship letter? Huh.
I suppose at least the last letter wasn't the cider letter.
Princess Luna and the Festival of the Winter Moon kinda sorta maybe uses it to mean one year, and uses it constantly. For instance, Celestia says that the Summer Sun Celebration is "one of the only nights a moon when everypony gets to see us together".
I can't remember when the last time was, but it's gotten to be a very long time now since the Sweet Apple Barn was last rebuilt, hasn't it?
Growing Family is a green, pony-flavored Endless Ranks of the Dead. Considering I love ERotD, I am obliged to love Growing Family.
I, too, never heard AJ say Racist Barn. Ponydora Pranceypants did write a lovely story on the subject, though.
Also, I was totally one of the people thinking "Raze this barn" with how many times it's been destroyed.
I love your obstacle course. An entire field of durdle turtles!
As for the flavor text on Sign from Beyond (which card combos absurdly well with Obstacle Course), it gets me thinking in interesting directions. I already see Luna as offering gentle, quiet guidance to ponies in their dreams. What if she also plays the role of Equestria's psychopomp, guiding the souls of ponies to the hereafter? Furthermore, did Celestia take up this duty during NMM's banishment, or were pony souls left to their own devices on passing for a thousand years? Or maybe someone else's psychopomp covered her absence. There is a fic or few lying in these questions!
Family Reunion's flavor is hilarious, and I can totally see it as being Granny Smith's reaction to necromancy.
As for evolution preferring puns and rainbows, perhaps it's because being otherwise would make one an eyeblight.
Fritter Folders' ability only activates once per instance of gaining life, as opposed to once for each life point gained, right?
Thanks for keeping these post going. This week's was particularly fun.
Sad to see the letters go away BUT it's also sad to be reminded that Applejack is pretty much Batpony. I halfway expect her to shut Rainbow Dash up by yelling MAH PARENTS ARE DEAD!!!!....which leaves me wondering if somepony is going to mutter "So are mine....."
It took me a bit to work out how "Buckethelm" was pronounced.
Obstacle Course: Now everything is durdle turtle!
For some reason, I'm exceptionally upset that Draconic Ignition puts you one mana shy of casting Bogardan Hellkite.
Sweeten the Deal doesn't actually do anything, because someone can just counter your spell in response to the trigger. Maybe if it had you do it as an additional cost or something? Can you even do that?
I never did either.
I like this episode better than most people do. I watched it right before I went home to see my family for Christmas and the lesson really hit home for me.
Oranges.
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True, but it'd be nice if we still got to see the character more, even if the cast is outgrowing her original role.
3615424
Though it was written by Applejack.
3615479
A year? But they already have a term for years. They call them years.
And yeah, I think the last time the barn was demolished was in "Bloom and Gloom," and dream sequences don't really count.
3615789
I got the idea of Luna as psychopomp from a Tumblr ask blog for an OC captain of the guard. (This was rather back in the day at this point. The character's reaction to the reveal of Shining Armor was hilarious.) I quite like the idea for universes where Princess Temperance isn't a thing.
The idea of ponies being as murderously beauty-obsessed as Lorwyn elves is frankly kind of terrifying. Especially Rarity.
Yes, that ability only triggers once per life gain, regardless of how much life you gain, much like the ability of Ajani's Pridemate.
And I'm not going to be satisfied until I've hit every episode.
3615919
We still have zero concrete data on Fluttershy's parents...
3616134
Having your opponents gain life can definitely be a cost, as cards like Reverent Silence and Roar of Jukai demonstrate. By borrowing a bit of wording technology from Chorus of the Conclave, I've gotten Sweeten the Deal to be functional.
3616430
Yeah, some episodes may not be universally beloved, but when the message resonates with you, it can mean a lot.
3616580 How odd that the only Pegasus we've seen with a parent is Spitfire. Five years in and we have not a clue as to what Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo or Fluttershy's backgrounds are. No wonder the 'creche' system is so popular with some people; it's the only way to explain the lack of known parents.
3617250
We did see Rainbow with her pops back in... I think it was "Games Ponies Play"? I mean, it could have been some random stallion from a Big Brothers/Big Sisters program for ponies with the same color scheme, but I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be her dad. That was a flashback, though; he's had plenty of time to die. We can only safely assume living parents for Rarity, Twilight, and Pinkie. I'd still have to see some positive evidence to assume Shy is orphaned, though. (No, her being literally Batmare doesn't count.)
3617274 We do get to meet her brother in season six. Given her personality problems, he'll probably be one of the three jerks we first met in Sonic Rainboom.
3617250
My pet theory is that pegasi have a very weak sense of nuclear families, a relic of the quasi-Spartan, pre-exodus pegasus culture, where the foals that fluttered back to the polis after being abandoned on mountaintops were allowed to run half-wild in storm herds until they came of age.
3617274
No, Applejack is Batmare. Fluttershy is Mare-Bat. Important distinction.
3617438 Which contributes to their being thought of as being less civilized than tribes that put great stock in their lineage. Witness the result: Rainbow Dash might as well be speaking Klingon and Fluttershy is a basket case because of warrior race bullshit toxicity. Those who look down on them for being colder, more arrogant and just plain mean-spirited are dead right to do so.
I'm going with "moon" = "month" thing. The hundred moons mentioned by Granny Smith mean 8 years 4 months by that measure, which sounds about right to me. That would mean that by the time of the previous reunion, Applebloom was just a small filly and Applejack was a (young) teenager.
What about the reunion in the series premier? Well, we see a lot of Apples (plus some Oranges!) here who didn't show up then, so I assume it wasn't a "real" reunion. Rather, it was a bunch of Apples coming in to help AJ & co. with the catering for the Summer Sun Celebration.
It’s far easier to go over the many valleys of the Yonder province than through them.
One does not simply wander over Yonder.
3617563
Here's the thing: If you look at this compilation of barn photos from the episode, you can see that while Apple Bloom does appear at a previous reunion, she looks about as old as she does now. Certainly not eight-and-a-third years younger; she'd be a toddler at the absolute oldest. From a Doylist perspective, it's recycled Flash assets. From a Watsonian one, it's a sign that something screwy is going on. That, or ponies age at an absolute crawl. Not even just earth ponies, given the tribal mix in Apple Bloom's classroom.
Also, holy crap, the Oranges did show up. And there are unicorns in the Apple family.
3618429
Well, someone had to say it.
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I'm gonna go full Doyle there and just handwave the implausibly old AB away.
Also, it's good to see there's precedent for Rarity to become an Apple by marriage!
