Looks like I'm getting coal this year. · 5:58am Dec 24th, 2015
The bad news:
There won't be a new chapter of Desert Spice ready by Christmas. Between being stumped with how to continue the lunch scene (which, appropriately, is from Rize's perspective), having only recently discovered the glorious time sink that is Diablo III, and having my favorite sister visit us along with her freshly minted family, horse words just have not been put to virtual paper. 
I'm still going to write this chapter and release it. I have no intention of giving up on it. I may take an extended break from writing this story once the current chapter is over if I find that I can write more consistently for Monster Hunter: Equestria, but I'll burn that bridge once I get over it.
As for some somewhat better news, below the break is some proof that I can, in fact, still write. It's a 440 word chunk of non-horse story that I whipped up in about half an hour on a whim due to being perplexed as to why there was a rock on a bed. Hope you enjoy it!
There's a Rock
“There's a rock,” I say, giving Butler a pointed look.
“Indeed there is, sir. A most fascinating turn of events, is it not?”
I shift my unimpressed glare to the rock of my offense as it continues to sit where something else should be, and then turn it back to Butler.
“Let me try this again. Why is there a rock?”
“That, dear sir, would depend on what sort of rock it was. If it were igneous, it would be because of a volcanic eruption. If it were sedimentary—”
“No, no, no!” I say, making a cutting motion with my hands. “I didn't phrase my query quite right.”
I let out a sigh before continuing.
“Why is there a rock instead of, say, a ham sandwich? Or turkey. I'm not that picky. I asked Kitchen for some food, preferably something suitable for lunch. Something–” I sigh again, bringing a hand to my face, “–solid. Solid and nutrient-dense… This rock is high in calcium, isn't it.”
Butler, delightfully proactive fellow that he is, cuts a fragment from the rock and incinerates it in his on-board spectrometer, all the while making that inane “beep-boop” sound effect my father firmly believed proper robots should make.
“You are indeed correct, sir. It is high in calcium, along with sodium, carbon—”
He cuts off as I make another slashing gesture with my hands. If only dealing with other humans were this easy.
“Thank you, Butler.” At least now I knew which target actually deserved my ire. “Did Kitchen have any messages to go with its latest 'offering'?”
“As a matter of fact, it did, sir. He had me record some audio to play back for you when you received your meal.”
Oh, joy. “Ok, Butler, let's hear it.”
After a second of additional boop-beeping, a new voice begins to play from his speakers. One that sounds rather akin to a recently kicked hornet's nest that someone then locked in a front-loading dryer.
“Is this high enough in minerals for you, sir? Maybe do some more thinkin' before you call your food preparer the malfunctioning son of a promiscuous toaster, you fuzzed-over bag of no-longer-potable water!”
Oh. So he's still mad about that.
“Thank you, Butler. That will be all.”
“Any time, sir,” he says, once again in his pleasant, familiar buzz, “I exist to serve.”
I can't really hold it against Kitchen, no matter how much my growling stomach wants me to. Creative types are temperamental and sensitive by their very natures. I'll find a way to apologize to him later.
In the meantime, I'll just make my own darned sandwich.
Heh, nice. :)
Though now I'm curious: why was the rock on the bed IRL?
As for horsewordery, I'm in similar circumstances; just replace Diablo III with The Binding of Isaac. Don't feel bad about it; it's the holidays. Family should take precedence over fan fiction.
glorious time sink indeed. and it'll only get worse once the 2.4 patch drops.
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I know, right? And they're buffing my already wonderful Natalya's set into pure ridiculousness!
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Apparently, my little brother's boss had asked him to paint it for someone's Christmas present.
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Man, Binding of Isaac. I have played so many hours of that game while 'listening' to friends drone on about their WoWcrafts... And now I've beaten every boss except Hush and Mega Satan with every character but the Lost, and beaten Hush with a few characters as well.
Thanks for the unguilt, by the way.
I'm glad you enjoyed the short. At which point did you figure out Butler was a robot?
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I suspected at the comment about query phrasing. I knew at the spectrometer, though I'd be even more impressed if a human butler could do that.
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It appears that the story is working as intended, then!
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"Apparently, my little brother's boss had asked him to paint it for someone's Christmas present.
...Well okay then. :)
"I'm glad you enjoyed the short. At which point did you figure out Butler was a robot?"
Ah, now that I'm afraid I don't recall; sorry.