Friendship is Card Games: Rainbow Rocks Promo Shorts · 1:47pm Jan 10th, 2016
Hello all. Today marks the beginning of the Stretch for Time Fortnight my rambling about the short lead-up animations for the movies, a welcome change in terms of ease of viewing. After all, Hasbro put these on their own YouTube channel. I’ve provided links, since odds are these are far from fresh in anyone’s memory.
You’d probably think I can’t get much out of shorts that aren’t even three minutes long each. You would be wrong. 
I love how this first short seemed like a silly bit of nonsense when it first came out, only to reveal itself as foreshadowing during the movie’s climax. And even then, it didn’t spoil the whole thing. More on that later, actually.
I choose to believe that the dancing cop is Flash Sentry’s father. And possibly Scootaloo’s. I’ve seen the idea of the two of them being siblings before, and I genuinely like it. Probably not going to incorporate it into my headcanon, but a neat concept. Heck, I approve of anything that gives Scootaloo some kind of concrete family.
I have to appreciate the efficiency of motion with that one guy. Fistbump Vinyl, glasses on, he’s out. Mission accomplished, apparently.
Ha! Diamond Tiara has a purse dog. That’s several kinds of perfect. (Or maybe it’s Silver Spoon’s. I can’t tell. The purse matches Silver’s outfit but has diamonds sewn into it…)
Also, anyone else think of Viewtiful Joe during the slow-motion sequence?
Yikes. Want some tea with your honey?
Of course, Pinkie’s unaffected. Or she’s moving at a truly incredible clip to compensate for her moment of on-camera depression. And then there’s the question of what brought that on…
Ah, yes, Vinyl’s on-camera inaudibility. We see her talking with Lemon Zest in the background at the end of Friendship Games, so she definitely isn’t mute. I’m not sure if it’s really a matter of Nowacking associating herself with Vinyl in the fandom’s collective consciousness, but for whatever reason, we may never hear Wub Horse (or Wub Human) in canon. As such, I’m sticking with my integrated Auto-Tune hypothesis until proven otherwise.
And there’s human Cranky, confirming that ponies aren’t the only ones with human analogues. Again, more on that later.
I’ll be honest, up until Vinyl bumped into Celestia, I was genuinely unsure whether or not the world was synchronized with the music. Musical numbers do appear to be a thing in this world; Vinyl could have instigated an instrumental one. Still not sure what to make of her apparently warped perception of time.
And Vinyl’s headphones, much like the Rainbooms’ instruments, are completely wireless. Eh, it makes it easier on the animators.
And we open with more Vinyl. Sheesh, looking back, they weren’t even being subtle about it. Of course, a half dozen shorts between this one and the movie helped gloss over any hints of correlation.
Does anyone reading this play guitar? How exactly do they get into that condition? I’d think Rainbow Dash would be rough on her stuff, but this looks closer to the end result of an ill-advised Pete Townshend impression.
See previous comment regarding magical cordless instruments.
Huh. More foreshadowing, in this case, of the “blow the competition away” montage.
Also, Dash’s eyes go pure white when she transform. Only to be expected when you rewrite the laws of reality with the power of rock.
Speaking of transformations, Dash’s guitar changes with her. Especially interesting given how that only happens to one other instrument, Applejack’s bass. I’m really not sure what to make of why that happens only to those two. At least, not on a Watsonian level.
Heh. A different kind of sonic rainboom.
“Check me out!” And that is literally all that will ever be said in these shorts by anyone regarding the transformations. No comment from Trixie about witnessing actual magic. No concern by any of the girls. No naked astonishment from anyone else in the mall who might be walking by this store. Sorry, this blasé attitude towards a girl sprouting additional limbs just bugs me. This is why I wrote that bit of subtle, global mind control in Oversaturation. There needs to be something deflecting human curiosity for people to treat this sort of phenomenon as unremarkable.
An interesting application of Loyalty: devotion to the tools of one’s trade.
It’s not surprising that the humans use dollars rather than bits—the show is made in Canada for a generally American audience (based on how ponies use imperial measurements like cups)—but it’s still nice to know.
And Pinkie winks at the camera, because she is merely a humanoid extrusion of the greater entity of Joy that suffuses probability space, aware of her fictionality and of those who observe her. She knows the purpose of her existence is entertainment, and thus she—
Ahem. Sorry about that. Moving on.
Helping cute little puppies and kitties may never go out of style, sure, but I can’t help but wonder how Rarity would feel about the rescue center’s less cute tenants.
That is perhaps the most feces I have ever seen in a single frame of a children’s cartoon. At least it’s a little ambiguous what’s mud and what isn’t in a pigpen. The insides of that hamster habitat are clearly, unquestionably encrusted with dung. I’m amazed that a visible stench cloud didn’t emerge from the tube when Fluttershy opened it. And, of course, she thinks herself lucky for getting to clean up after them. Oh, Fluttershy.
Hamsters present an interesting question for Magic taxonomy. The game has squirrels, rats, and rabbits, but no hamsters. I just made them Beasts.
I’m not even questioning how Rarity made little outfits for all of the hamsters. I will question why Fluttershy had a tambourine in her backpack. I’m tempted to say that Tree Hugger was involved somehow. Or the eco-kids.
Hmm. This was post-Season 4. Seeing Pinkie with Granny Smith makes me wonder if the humans had a genealogical adventure of their own.
I have to wonder if Dash’s plans to make a band came before or after acquiring a new guitar. Did she need a new guitar for the Musical Showcase, or did she decide to join after she got her wings back? It’s almost a chicken-and-egg problem.
Never, ever tell Pinkie Pie to use as much of anything as she wants. Especially not glitter.
This short does a lot to support the idea of romantically oblivous Dash. If it takes her this long to put Pinkie behind a drum set, imagine how long it’d take her to notice more subtle advances.
And then Pinkie was Animal. Interesting to note that she seems to be able to control her levitation with later transformations. A necessary ability when your feet still need to hit the pedals for the bass drum.
I would not be surprised if Rarity actually did own a bust of herself. I’d wonder where and how she’d had it made, but I wouldn’t be surprised. 3D printing, maybe?
I’m sure Rarity would say that ladies do not sweat. They glow. Even if they’re dripping with glow.
Forget what kind of person doesn’t put a piano on wheels. What kind of person insists on shoving that unwheeled piano all the way to their school? Indeed, how long has Rarity been trying to move this thing? This feels like the human equivalent of 100% Move = 50% Fire, at least in terms of unspeakable acts done to pianos.
Ah, the Diamond Dogs’ analogues. Now that’s unfair. Poor Spike.
As for what those fellows are doing, I believe they’re members of Canterlot High’s geology club. Needless to say, Maud was the head of it until she graduated. Still, I doubt the principals look too kindly on collecting samples on school grounds. At least, not if the boys don’t clean up after themselves.
Speaking of cleaning up, it seems that Rarity’s palms excrete their own hair gel. Or she just comes prepared for every potential style emergency.
I appreciate a good Wilhelm scream as much as the next guy, but I have to wonder why there was such a crowd in the middle of the hallway.
Pinkie using her hair as a storage device never ceases to amuse me. Seeing her use hammerspace so flagrantly just makes me smile.
Grand piano, handheld wireless synthesizer, same difference, right? Like Pinkie said, po-tay-to, to-mah-to.
So, did Rarity do a test run with the piano to determine if it triggered her transformation beforehand? I would think so; it seems like her to do a test run first.
I do love the parallax scrolling in the opening here. It actually feels a little surreal to have such a strong impression of depth in a scene populated by 2D Flash puppets.
Also, this is the first time we get to see the home of one of the human characters. The resemblance is striking, but the surroundings seem to be much more suburban than I expected. Not really surprising, really, but everyone—myself included—seems to assume that human Applejack still lives on a farm. Eh, the evidence isn’t conclusive.
Yikes. And people snark about the principals’ proportions. The Flimflam brothers look like they evolved on a planet with half of Earth’s gravity.
Did Applejack ever introduce herself before Flam called her by her name? Checking the transcript, no. No she didn’t. That’s more than slightly peculiar.
I think Pinkie’s trying to see who's going to win the Derby.
Hmm. Going back to the question of why only two instruments transformed, I hadn’t noticed that it’s the first and last ones that do so. That may be significant, a ritual of awakening with peaks at beginning and end.
I’m glad the Flimflam brothers were allotted a few moments of goggle-eyed awe before they came back to the subject of money. Appropriate to both the situation and their character.
Interesting to note it’s Pinkie who’s smacking her fist into her palm. I’d expect Dash to give the most overt threats of violence.
Wow. The banana suit is just cruel.
Okay, this instance of Granny Smith is almost certainly on the leading edge of senility. At least, she is in this short.
And now we get into the definitely noncanon stuff, as evinced by Twilight’s presence and Sunset’s absence. There simply wasn’t time in between the portal override and defeating the sirens for these last two shorts, and even if there had been, they wouldn’t have excluded Sunset. At least, I hope they wouldn’t. Since this predated the redemption arc of Rainbow Rocks, Sunset had to be kept offscreen, since most viewers would remember her as a villain first and foremost. Still, that meant that her stepping up to the plate felt more fulfilling when it happened.
Of course, just because this didn’t happen—at least, not in the same timeline as the movie—doesn’t mean I’m going to let it fall by the wayside.
Oh, and note that I’ve already made a Song card for this song in the Rainbow Rocks blog.
Good idea with the luau, Pinkie, but you probably should’ve cleared it with the others before dressing them all in grass skirts.
Poor Twilight. It’s hard enough relearning how to coordinate her awkward ape limbs. She doesn’t need balls getting thrown around to complicate matters.
Hmm. I’m not sure whether these outfits are better or worse than the ones they wore during the climax of the movie. I am glad that they didn’t go with the cutie mark face paint there.
Also, if any group is going to just enjoy the magical, mutating musicians, it’ll be the student body of Canterlot High. They were there for the freaking demon battle; they aren’t going to mind.
That’s definitely our solar system hanging from the chalkboard. Given the implied heliocentricity, it probably only applies to the human universe.
Heh. Rarity’s still having difficulties with the hamsters.
When in doubt, throw everything together and hope it works for the best. Well, that’s my philosophy in life. Still, probably wouldn’t have worked quite this well. Such is the magic of music videos.
Dancing human Granny Smith will never be anything but utterly fantastic.
Twilight would probably love having a smartphone… provided she didn’t immediately try to take it apart. I am glad this video exists as an excuse to give her one in “Aftershock.” It would’ve been a lot harder to coordinate Rainbow Dash punching herself without it.
I’m almost positive that that barrel was meant for bobbing for apples, but with Applejack, I can never be entirely certain.
Ah, Big Mac and Cheerilee… which is actually kind of creepy in this context. Let’s just assume he’s eighteen and she’s a TA, agreed?
Spike may have fur and paws, but he’s still a dragon.
Ah yes, the one hint of Discord’s existence in the human world… which Fluttershy smashes the moment she sees it. Ouch.
Still, that raises the question of how the image of the draconequus came to be well enough known in the human world that people made plushies of it. My pet hypothesis is that the human Discord was for a time a Mr. Wizard/Bill Nye-like figure, talking up the incredible potential of reality and reluctantly explaining to his animated draconequus mascot why certain things just weren’t possible. Fluttershy was probably frightened at a young age by the creature. Granted, this explanation has compatibility issues with my physics teacher Discord headcanon, but the video has compatibility issues with canon, so there we are. Isn’t probability space fun?
So… did Pinkie stick her face in the cotton candy machine, or did she sculpt that herself?
Hi, Flash. Bye, Flash.
Just because the photo booth doesn’t have a posted maximum occupancy doesn’t mean it doesn’t have one at all.
Again, Granny Smith is awesome in these two videos. Imagine her at Woodstock.
Heh. Recycling Derpy’s muffin dance animation from the first movie’s credits, this time sans muffin. It’s the one move she can do without collateral damage.
Haunted houses can’t compare to the horrors Fluttershy dreads on a daily basis.
Pinkie, I already resisted the urge to break into a Lovecraftian rant regarding your at-best loose association with conventional reality. Could you please abide by the rules of optics for the rest of the blog?
… That doesn’t mean “ride your equine self on the carousel!” I swear, the animators tease me sometimes.
Whoa whoa whoa. That was clearly a bit of CHS in the corner of that last shot. This was all done on school grounds? I thought it was in a public park or something. What kind of budget do they have there?
In all, these were a fun lead-up to the movie. A good introduction to the awakened Equestrian magic without providing anything truly necessary for the plot, with the possible exception of Vinyl. Let's move on to the cards.
Beyond Fear 1W
Instant
Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature. That creature gains indestructible until end of turn.
”I’ve been afraid all my life. You think a few jump scares will impress me?”
—Fluttershy
Drastic Markup 2W
Enchantment
Spells with converted mana cost 2 or less cost 2 more to cast.
The Flimflam brothers own the only gumball machine that accepts credit cards.
Traffic Conductor 2W
Creature — Human Soldier
Remove a verse counter from a Song you control, T: Tap target creature.
The chief takes no issue with him expressing himself as long as he’s still doing his duty.
2/2
“Music to My Ears” 3W
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on each Song you control.
W, Sacrifice “Music to My Ears”: Distribute X verse counters among Songs you control, where X is the number of verse counters on “Music to My Ears”.
Rescue Center 3W
Enchantment
If a creature would die, exile it instead.
At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player may return a card he or she owns exiled with Rescue Center to the battlefield.
”It doesn’t matter where they came from or what they are. We’re here for them, and we’ll find them homes.”
—Fluttershy
Counterdistortion 1U
Instant
Counter target spell or ability with one or more targets. Scry 1.
When the surreal meets Pinkie Pie, the result is surprisingly mundane.
Synesthetic Syncopator 1UU
Creature — Human Rogue
Synesthetic Syncopator has hexproof as long as you control a Song.
Synesthetic Syncopator can’t be blocked as long as defending player controls a Song.
Lost in the beauty of her music, she doesn’t even notice the strife around her.
2/2
Decelerando 2U
Instant
Each creature target player controls gets -X/-0 until end of turn, where X is half that creature’s power, rounded up.
”Take it easy. This is a slow song.”
—Vinyl Scratch
Yapping Nuisance 1B
Creature — Hound
Whenever a player casts a spell, that player loses 1 life.
Spike looked upon the creature and realized that there were forms even worse than his in this world.
1/1
Insult to Injury 2B
Enchantment
At the beginning of each upkeep, each opponent who lost 2 or more life last turn discards a card.
”They swore up and down it was the only costume they had in stock. And I’m the Duchess of Trottingham.”
—Applejack
Wallow in Filth 2B
Instant
Target creature gets +X/+X or -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of creature cards in your graveyard.
The hamsters were perfectly content with the uncleaned habitat. Rarity less so.
Drummer’s Instincts R
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
If enchanted creature would deal damage to a player or permanent, it deals that much damage plus 1 to that player or permanent instead.
”Anyone who thinks it’s just hitting things with sticks doesn’t have them.”
—Rainbow Dash
Glitterbomb R
Instant
Glitterbomb deals 1 damage to target creature. That creature can’t block this turn.
Left to her own devices, Pinkie Pie may take anything to ludicrous excess.
Hamster Roughrider R
Creature — Beast Knight
Flanking (Whenever a creature without flanking blocks this creature, the blocking creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.)
No one was more confused than the cat.
1/1
Electric Rainboom 2R
Instant
Converge — Attacking creatures get +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of colors of mana spent to cast Electric Rainboom.
”I am the amplifier.”
—Rainbow Dash
Frantic Celebrant 2R
Creature — Human Rogue
Haste
Frantic Celebrant’s power can’t be reduced by spells or abilities.
Life’s too short to fini
3/1
Obsessive Percussion 2R
Enchantment
At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, Obsessive Percussion deals 1 damage to that player and to each creature that player controls.
No matter the world or the species, Pinkie Pie is utterly and unavoidably enthusiastic.
Throw the Horns 2R
Instant
Until end of turn, target creature gets +1/+0 for each artifact you control and gains trample.
”I’ve always been more of a heavy metal gal myself, but dang if they don’t sound good.”
—Granny Smith
Diamond-Gang Haulers 2RR
Creature — Human Minion
Trample
Whenever Diamond-Gang Haulers attacks, you may attach target noncreature artifact to it. If that artifact isn't an Equipment, it becomes an Equipment and gains "Equipped creature gets +X/+0" until end of turn, where X is its converted mana cost. Unattach that artifact at the beginning of the next end step.
2/2
Shred-Off 2RR
Sorcery
Shred-Off deals 5 damage to target player.
Remove two verse counters from among Songs you control: You may choose a new target for Shred-Off. Any player may activate this ability but only if Shred-Off is on the stack.
Thus did magic return to the world.
Infrasonic Pulse 4R
Instant
Kicker—Remove a verse counter from a Song you control. (You may remove a verse counter from a Song you control in addition to any other costs as you cast this spell.)
Infrasonic Pulse deals 3 damage to each of up to two target creatures and/or players. If Infrasonic Pulse was kicked, the damage can’t be prevented.
Potent Pup G
Creature — Hound
3G: Potent Pup gets +3/+3 until end of turn. Activate this ability only once each turn.
The blood of dragons cares little for such minor trifles as complete bodily transformation.
1/1
“Perfect Day for Fun” 1G
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on “Perfect Day for Fun”.
2G, Sacrifice “Perfect Day for Fun”: Look at the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of verse counters on “Perfect Day for Fun”. You may put any number of creature cards with total converted mana cost X or less from among them onto the battlefield. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.
Horde of Hamsters 2G
Creature — Beast
Horde of Hamsters’s power and toughness are each equal to the number of artifacts your opponents control.
Only when Rarity was making the twentieth little suit jacket did she realize she’d lost control of the situation.
*/*
Grand Entrance 5GG
Sorcery
You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield with an additional two +1/+1 counters on it.
Rarity doesn’t do subtle.
Herding Tambourine 2
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature has "X: You choose whether and who target creature with power X or less attacks this turn."
Equip 2
Fluttershy’s magic imbues all of her possessions.
Mechanical Bull 3
Artifact
3, T: Target creature gets +2/-1 until end of turn.
”It’s a fun ride if you can handle it. Just keep plenty of padding nearby.”
—Applejack
Padded Mallet 3
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +2/+0.
If equipped creature would deal damage, you may prevent any amount of that damage. You gain life equal to the damage prevented this way.
Equip 2
Backup Gear 4
Artifact
You may have Backup Gear enter the battlefield as a copy of any artifact card in a graveyard.
”After the first time you lose a remix to a bricked hard drive, you learn to be prepared.”
—Vinyl Scratch
Grinning Tiki 4
Artifact
T: Look at the top card of target opponent’s library. You may sacrifice Grinning Tiki. If you do, exile that card. You may play that card for as long as it remains exiled.
There are many kinds of smiles in the world, and very few that Pinkie Pie dislikes.
Double-Necked Axe 5
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +2/+0 and has double strike.
It can’t slice through a torso, but it can burst eardrums with the best of them.
Equip 4
Draconequus Doll 6
Artifact Creature — Chimera
Indestructible
Whenever Draconequus Doll is dealt damage, each player reveals the top card of his or her library. Each player who revealed a land card puts that card onto the battlefield. Each other player casts the card he or she revealed without paying its mana cost if able.
0/1
Flimflam Pawnbrokers 3(ur)
Creature — Human Rogue
T: Target opponent gains control of another target permanent you control. Add X colorless mana to your mana pool, where X is that permanent’s converted mana cost.
X, T: Gain control of target permanent you own with converted mana cost X or less.
1/2
Vibrant Flock 4(wu)
Creature — Bird
Flying
Vibrant Flock’s power and toughness are each equal to the number of colors among all permanents.
”Just keep them away from my hair, okay?”
—Rainbow Dash, to Fluttershy
*/*
Actually, I diagnose Vinyl with exercendas Cantus. Basically, while ordinary ponies might start up a heartsong when they're in the throes of some powerful emotion, Vinyl starts a heartsong every time she opens her mouth.
Great fun at parties. Awkward when you ask where the bathroom is.
Eh, I associte Vinyl's muteness (That's a word?) with the other great mute gag characters in cartoon history. Wich, for some reason I can only think of Road Runner. I don't know why, considering all of the cartoons that I have seen in my life. But anyway, I think this is the best because Nowhacking is so strong in everybody's mind that there is no way anyone would accept anybody BUT Jessi in the role. ITs kind of like how when I read Derpy I can only hear Bald Dumbo Rat's voice.
Again, there is that descrepancy between what works for a gag (Vinyl's muteness) vs what works for something serious (Why we need Vinyl's voice). Something that this show is good a juggeling.
Fun cards as usual
Small nitpick: Wallow in Filth - This would probably fit black better if it was "... +X/+0 or -0/-X ..." (Similar to Drana, Kalastria Bloodchief); Black doesn't really buff toughness very much. As it is, it feels more Black/Green.
Rescue Center's flavor text brings to mind images of Fluttershy caring for some of the really bizarre or exotic creatures from Magic's history, like Harvester of Souls or various Atogs.
Draconequus Doll is silly. All is well with the world.
3676802
A fascinating concept, that. No wonder she's such good friends with Pinkie.
3676829
I'm sure that if Vinyl ever gets another significant role in the show, they'll let her speak.
Guess what I think is going to happen.
3678093
Nighthowler says hi.
I will admit that this is a relatively infrequent area for black, but the recent movement to give it more high-toughness creatures makes this feel justified.
3678229
Fluttershy gulped as she looked at the latest addition to the shelter. "Okay, Fluttershy," she said to herself. "You can do this. You've handled hellions, demons, krakens, and Mr. Ultimus. You can handle this."
She summoned up all of her courage, stuck out her hand, and said, "Hello. I'm Fluttershy. What's your name?"
A massive claw stretched out and took her hand between two talons with surprisingly gentle grace. "(Z–>)90º – (E–N²W)90ºt = i"
I was going to use this comment to point out my favourite lines of flavourtext, but there were too many.
Vinyls' sad face at the end (before she gets her backup headphones) was really adorable. Yes that is what I took away from that short.
That and I think the first 30 seconds of it was the animators showing off their ability to draw footwear other than boots.
The amount of Innuendo in this statement...
You know, I always thought Maud was the little sister. Did the show ever actually specify?
You don't remember high school, do you?
We Made It, clearly.
3679180
Entirely possible.
Was entirely unintentional, I assure you. Though now that you've said something, "dripping with glow" does sound like something out of a mid-rate clopfic.
Yes, in "Maud Pie":
Now you know.
In my experience, the vast drifts of humanity moved if it wasn't lunchtime. This seems to be after school.
So they're time-traveling Crashlanders trying to swindle the gullible folks of the early 21st century?
... That's actually a really interesting hypothesis.
Except that hamsters are burrowing animals, and their excrement, like with mice, are small hard pellets, so, assuming they have some area inside that thing where they can indeed indulge in their digging instincts, it's much more likely to be just dirt
3683099
Can you tell I've never owned hamsters?
...Oh. Well, just take all the wind out of my sails, why don't you?
3683128
My sister owned some. Smells horrible, though. Shit is one thing, but that piss, ugh
Ah, the doll. Many sleepless nights have I spent at my computer, notes document open in front of me, staring blankly as I try to work that one out.
3685507
Well, that's the best hypothesis I have. Though I suppose that world would at least have myths of chimeric trickster spirits that could've made the transition to popular culture.
3685510
oi63.tinypic.com/if7jmq.jpg
But why, though? Why does everybody else get only a personality counterpart in a completely different body, but Discord's form in Equestria is perfectly represented by this world's mythology? Are we even a hundred percent sure that there is a human Discord at this point? What if he's just the same in both worlds? That's what keeps gnawing away at me. What if he's been relegated to myth, but an actual chimeric Discord is actually still out there somewhere in this otherwise normal world, the one example of magic native to this dimension?
I'd be thrilled by the idea if it didn't raise even more questions than it answers.
...somehow in all this time I somehow have never seen most of these shorts. What a huge omission.
I really love the "John Discord the Science... (nothing rhymes with discord)" headcanon.
3696705
Well, there's Science Lord, but I would think most instances of Discord would be averse to such authoritarian titles. At least, when they're taken seriously. No, I think his show would be entitled "This is Reality," as much a statement about the incredible ridiculousness of the universe as it is a reminder of its limits.