Review: Whistles Volume 1 The Starlight Calliope

So, I found this gem at the thrift store on Presidents Day and it cost me a whole 99 cents, that's almost 10% of the cover price. Artistically, if not superficially, Whistles resembles Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. Which, is doubtlessly intentional considering it was also produced by Slave Labor Graphics. Ironically enough, the story wouldn't be out of place in the Invader Zim universe either. Basically it's a parody of a classic Twilight Zone episode, if not a subtle tribute to little shop of horrors. I could literally spoil the entire plot of the story by pointing out Soylent Green is people. As with 'It's A Wonderful Life, and 'Killer Klowns From Outerspace' you've probably seen so many versions of this story already that I really shouldn't have to cover the following description with a censor bar.

What follows is a brief description of Whistles Volume one. It consists of three chapters, an epilogue, some extras and a filler. That's about it. In the first chapter we are introduced to 'Throttles the Jackhammer' a gigolo with a tragic past who was once a clown named Whistles. After twisting his ankle while performing with a seltzer bottle and being run over by a fire engine, Whistles believes he is destined to join Buster Keaton, Jerry Louis, Lucille Ball, Anna Faris and Johnny Depp in Clownhalla...Did I mention this story takes place in a dystopian future?

Anyway, Whistles is injected with a tranquilizer by his manager Pendelcoat before he collapses into a dead faint from the pain. With subtle references to 'Everything can be beaten' and 'Sardine' Whistles wakes up on a pile of dead bodies next to a conveyor belt where it's discovered all the clowns are being processed into carnival treats and goodies. Fortunately, the butcher takes pity on Whistles, the poor, innocent, deluded fool and throws him out the tower window like he was Batsy Fluffentuft. Whistles lands safely on a dirigible, meets a pimp, and begins his new career as the Jackhammer.

The first chapter ends with Whistles returning to the circus, taking a bullet for Gambolin, and blasting everyone to smithereens in order to avenge Pendelcoat, out of loyalty I fear. I'd go into greater details for later chapters. But, the remaining chapters basically amount to Gambolin killing the treacherous Pendelcoat. Doodlebean, the love interest not essential to story, is stalked by the ghost of Pendelcoat the Pedobear. Pendelcoat the Pedobear is revealed to be one of many alien plants that are using the clowns as fertilizer. The butcher is needlessly killed. Whistles and Gambolin crash their space cruiser into the Starlight Calliope. They set the Starlight Calliope to self destruct, rescuing Doodlebean and a baby Pendelcoat monster in the process, before they fly off into the cosmos to start a new family circus.

That's about it, with exception to the birth of the vegan Sugar-shoe (a character who immediately commits matricide) there is no reason to continue reading this story. I'd be surprised if it has a second volume. And, the book is apparently out of print now, it's literally no longer available online. Thus, increasing it's value to somewhere between $29 and $121 dollars on amazon. Which means I paid roughly 1% of its current value. So, if I sit on it long enough, it might increase in value like that $1000 copy of 'The Last Unicorn' or that $100 copy of JTHM I saw on amazon a few years back which I doubt are worth any more than the paper they're printed on.