Friendship is Card Games: Neigh Anything... · 10:20am Jul 10th, 2016
Hmm. Should I be capitalizing this, or should I go for the e. e. cummings thing and keep it lowercase like the comic does? Eh, I’ll go for the same convention as the movie it was named after, and that means capitalization.
In any case, break out the leg warmers and the hair products, because it’s time for a heavy dose of the 80’s.
Part 1:
I do love how this comic manages to give us more characterization and chemistry for Shining Armor and Cadence in the first panel than “A Canterlot Wedding” and “The Crystal Empire” did put together.
Also, Fluttershy lapping up her tea is unfairly cute.
Ah. The time issue is fully resolved. It’s about nine days before Cadence and Shining’s wedding anniversary, while also predating the events of “Zen and the Art of Gazebo Repair.” Thus, I can fall back on my favorite solution to darn near everything, parallel timelines. As long as no comic storyline is referenced in canon, this can work. 
And with that resolved, we can confront a different time issue. Okay, yes, 80’s Cheerilee was a thing, but it’s one thing to have a brief gag hinge on an anachronism and quite another to have an entire storyline hinge on a pile of them. This is especially egregious when one considers Twilight’s experiences in the human world, especially in the first movie. It took her a fair amount of time to realize she was at a school. Yes, she went to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns instead of Canterlot Academy, but she didn’t seem familiar with a modern education system as we know it.
Furthermore, Ponyville, a few hours trot from Canterlot, appears to have an education system that begins and ends at a one-room schoolhouse. Yes, one would expect the capital to be more sophisticated than a relative backwater on the edge of a hell-forest, but a modern high school strains credulity to the breaking point.
That being said… I’m going to let it pass for the purposes of this story. Let’s face it, if this thing were on Fimfiction, it’d have the Random tag. I just needed to get all of that off my chest before I could go further into this insanity. Let’s proceed.
That being said, I’m really tempted to go into a rant over an alicorn princess in a high school, but given Cadence’s babysitting, I’m honestly not all that surprised. What does surprise me that she isn’t used to that speechless, dumbfounded reaction. I suppose the novelty wore off for most ponies earlier.
So… Poindexter rolled the damage his character was going to take? Definitely not how I do things. Also, “elf-pegasi” are apparently a thing. Makes me wonder what the Lord of the Rings trilogy would be like in Equestria. And how much Oubliettes & Ogres tries to hew to an accurate portrayal of magic. (Given how pegasus characters can cast spells, the answer seems to be “not much.”)
Also, of course Shining plays a paladin. He basically is one.
Star Trek existing in Equestria raises all kinds of questions, from the concept to individual episodes to the special effects. Of course, if I keep trying to analyze every throwaway reference, we’ll be here all day.
Shining’s crayon-drawn fantasy is magnificent, as is his expression as he pictures it.
Ah yes, the ascended fanon that had Twilight Velvet as the author of the Daring Do series. It made so much sense. Ah well, c’est la vie.
Also, Cadence apparently already knew Velvet and had met Twilight Sparkle before. This raises a number of intriguing questions, especially since this is before Sparkle became Celestia’s student.
I see that by “We never had a single fight,” what Twilight really meant was, “All of our conflicts took place through passive-aggressive, often parent-assisted jabs.” Makes sense to me. For all that this family is nicer than most, they do live in Canterlot.
That float is magnificent in all the wrong ways.
I understand the reference behind Zacherle Stadium, which only raises more questions.
I know this is a love letter to the entire decade, and I’m trying not to think too hard about the anachronistic aspects of it, but “Where’s the beef?” takes on a rather disturbing context in Equestria. After all, it was part of a Wendy’s ad campaign about their burgers having bigger patties.
Aside from that, the musical number splash page is magnificent in all of the right ways, especially in how Shining manages to rock so hard he inspires a young Vinyl Scratch to make music her life. And I would totally listen to every song by a band called The Mystic Knights of the Electric Stable.
Wow. Buck overrode the building slow clap. You just don’t do that… though slow claps generally only show up at the climax, and we’re not even halfway through this storyline.
Also, I find it really weird how his lackey looks so much like Mr. Cake. I keep having to remind myself he isn’t involved.
Nice background detail with Cadence berating Buck in the background as Shining and company trudge away. Good to see there’s some care with continuity in this stuff.
Okay, the “slay that dragon” line is actually pretty clever.
Nice touch in making Shining unwilling to sabotage the school’s chances of winning the championship, even in the name of love. He’s not a jerk.
Those aren’t action figures; they don’t have any moving parts. They’re miniatures.
I do like the idea of ponies playing equine-oriented sports we’ve devised. There’s an amusing surreality to it. Also, that mallet filly is adorable.
“Feedbag” as an insult. Curious.
I don’t know, Shining, an exploding mallet seems less specific than magnetic polo balls. Either way, another fine Acme product.
Poor Spike. At least Rarity’s affections have never lingered long on another stallion.
Part 2: Presentable in Periwinkle
A love story about a pair of total nerds. No wonder Dash is so disgusted.
Yup, like I said, passive-aggressive jabs. More aggressive than passive at times.
While I do love seeing Twilight and Cadence bonding, I do have to wonder where they got the equations necessary to do those love calculations.
Ah, yes. It wouldn’t be a romantic comedy without a contrived misunderstanding. Still, as those go, this is one of the more harmless ones.
Wow. Good to see the comic promoting healthy forms of interaction between the sexes. 
And another fantastic fantasy sequence. Those two really are made for one another.
I do appreciate the contrast between the different plans’ level of complication.
If there is one thing I am sorely tempted to take as canon from this storyline—aside from Oubliettes & Ogres, that is—it is the existence of Magic: the Gathering in Equestria. (Though part of me can’t help note that it’s a bit late for a tribute to the 80’s. The game was first printed in 1993.) If nothing else, I accept it in the human world wholeheartedly.
Also, three hours qualifies as a quick round? They must be playing Commander.
Hmm. There’s a book entitled “Progress on Sunset Shimmer” on Celestia’s desk. Interesting to see that, especially since “progress” could mean many things. Progress in bringing her to the school? Progress in her studies? Progress in locating her in probability space?
Also, that guard is whistling at high school girls. Knock it off, dude.
I do like how Cadence’s necklace anticipates the Crystal Heart. Of course, so does her cutie mark.
When even Celestia can’t find something nice to say about you, it’s time to rethink your life.
Really? Cheerilee and Mayor Mare? Here? Now? 
Heck, the joke doesn’t even work; what do they think their cutie marks are for?
Cadence is right. She doesn’t deserve a guy like Buck.
So… why is a pegasus being suspended from the rafters, again?
Oh wow. Is that a Carrie reference? I really hope that bucket isn’t full of pig’s blood.
Equestria apparently has a Congress. Not sure how that works with Celestia.
That Quantum Leap reference isn’t as out of left field as it may seem. Gaffer, the other unicorn of the group, did lead the planning on the quest to win Cadence’s heart. Sam Beckett’s done stranger things.
Shining does raise a potential issue with the tense issue. Cadence may be immortal. He almost certainly won’t be. Still, a concern for another time.
Huh. I guess constant nagging can help mold someone into a better person. At least, it can in this comic. Also, Buck never lost the stars in his eyes.
Katie Cook clearly knows very little about Dungeons & Dragons. This shouldn’t bother me anywhere near as much as it does.
In all, this is fun, provided you don’t dig too deep into it. Unfortunately, I find it hard to read anything without a shovel in hand. Still, for what it is, it’s enjoyable.
Now, who’s up for a quick game of Hocus-Pocus?
Mellow Out W
Enchantment — Aura
At the beginning of the upkeep of enchanted creature’s controller, put an age counter on Mellow Out.
Enchanted creature can’t attack or block unless its controller pays 1 for each age counter on Mellow Out.
Enchanted creature’s activated abilities cost 1 more to activate for each age counter on Mellow Out.
Mallet Filly 2W
Creature — Pegasus Citizen
Flying
When Mallet Filly enters the battlefield, search your library for an Equipment card, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library.
Every team needs the humble as much as the heroes.
1/1
Spellplate Paladin 3W
Creature — Unicorn Knight Ally
Rally — Whenever Spellplate Paladin or another Ally enters the battlefield under your control, creatures you control gain absorb 1 until end of turn. (If a source would deal damage to a creature with absorb 1, prevent 1 of that damage.)
“I can’t ask you to lug around all this metal, but I’ll still keep you safe.”
3/3
Intense Interrogation 1UU
Sorcery
Fateseal 3. (Look at the top three cards of an opponent’s library, then put any number of them on the bottom of that player’s library and the rest on top in any order.)
Investigate. (Put a colorless Clue artifact token onto the battlefield. It has “Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.)
Ceiling Vexers 2U
Creature — Pony Rogue
Flying
U, T: Target creature attacks this turn if able.
U, T: Tap target creature.
They may be the ones hanging from strings, but you’re the puppet.
1/1
Constant Nagging 2U
Enchantment
1U: Target player puts the top two cards of his or her library into his or her graveyard.
”Either he’ll become a better person or I’ll break his will. Win-win, really.”
—Lemony Gems, Canterlot socialite
Dumbfounding Beauty 2U
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature blocks or becomes blocked by a creature, that creature has base power 0 until end of turn.
”I get that a lot.”
—Cadence, Princess of Serenity
Comedy of Errors 3U
Enchantment
3: Counter target spell. That spell’s controller gains control of Comedy of Errors.
No plan survives contact with hilarity.
Consult Ziggy 3UU
Sorcery
Scry 2, then reveal the top card of your library. Draw cards equal to that card’s converted mana cost.(To scry 2, look at the top two cards of your library, then put any number of them on the bottom of your library and the rest on top in any order.)
It’s easy to know what to do when your future’s already in the history books.
Portion Control 1B
Enchantment
If an opponent would gain life, that player gains 1 life instead.
”I’ve seen things, done things that would turn your mind inside out. But I have never seen anything as insane as this tiny, tiny cake.”
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
Collective Sigh 2B
Instant
Choose target creature. For each other creature that creature’s controller controls, that creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn and that player loses 1 life.
Sometimes, everyone’s patience runs out at the same time.
Unbearable Loss 3B
Enchantment
Whenever a creature card is put into an opponent’s graveyard from anywhere, that player loses 2 life.
There are few greater tragedies than a true love that will never be.
Canterlot Bully 1RR
Creature — Pony Warrior
First strike
Canterlot Bully attacks each turn if able.
Whenever Canterlot Bully attacks, it gets +1/+0 until end of turn for each blue creature defending player controls.
In the land of the bookish, the half-brained brute is king.
2/2
Crash and Burn 2R
Instant
Destroy up to two target artifacts. For each artifact destroyed this way, Crash and Burn deals 2 damage to that artifact’s controller.
”Who’s steering this thing?”
Surreal Appeal 2RR
Sorcery
Chaotic 1R (You may cast this spell for its chaotic cost. If you do, choose its targets at random.)
Gain control of target creature you don’t control until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.
Love can make as little sense as a draconequus's whims.
Inspiring Performance 2G
Enchantment
Whenever you sacrifice a Song, draw a card.
Some ponies find their cutie marks not through their own work, but by seeing the pinnacle of what that work can accomplish.
Exploding Mallet 2
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +2/+0.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to one or more creatures, you may sacrifice Exploding Mallet. If you do, Exploding Mallet deals 2 damage to equipped creature and each creature blocking or blocked by it.
Equip 2
Ogre-Slaying Knife 3
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +1/+0 and has first strike.
Whenever equipped creature blocks or becomes blocked by an Ogre, equipped creature gets +8/+0 until end of turn.
Equip 1
Hocus-Pocus Deck 4
Artifact
4, T, Exile Hocus-Pocus Deck: Players play a Magic subgame, using their libraries as their decks. The winner of the subgame wins the game.
”The flavor text is the best part.”
—Shining Armor
Grease Slick UB
Instant
Put a -1/-1 counter on target creature and tap it.
”Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s supposed to glisten like that.”
Embellish (ur)(ur)
Instant
Copy target instant or sorcery spell. If you don’t control that spell, its controller may copy it. Each player who copied the spell this way may choose new targets for his or her copy.
”Some ponies should have their artistic licenses revoked.”
—Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic
Revenge of the Nerds 1UR
Sorcery
Revenge of the Nerds deals damage to target creature or player equal to the number of instant and sorcery cards in your graveyard.
Draw a card.
Ponies are a forgiving race. Usually.
Massive Ego 1RW
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature can only attack alone.
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each other creature its controller controls.
Research Agreement 2(ub)(ub)
Sorcery
Each of two target players searches his or her library for a card and exiles it face down, then shuffles his or her library. Those players may look at those cards for as long as they remain exiled. Each of those players may play the card he or she exiled for as long as it remains exiled.
Elf-Pegasus Bard 3(rw)G
Creature — Elf Pegasus Ally
Rally — Whenever Elf-Pegasus Bard or another Ally enters the battlefield under your control, you may have all creatures able to block target creature this turn do so.
(rw): Elf-Pegasus Bard gains flying until end of turn.
2/4
This comic was enjoyable as a self-contained story, but it's impossible to fit it with canon. Still, I've adopted the headcanon that Shining is a total dork/nerd. Heck, that part even fits with his reaction to his old stuff in "The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows."
This has always bothered me when its brought up...Why is it a big deal that Cadence is a babysitter? I mean, can't it be because she wants to? You know, because its a thing she likes doing? That its a fun thing to do and helps her become one with the people? She like feeling close to her subjects? This is Celestia's way to let Cadence bond with her subjects so she can become a better ruler?
I mean, we have princesses that own freaking clothing lines, a queen that skydives with James Bond (and if BFG is to be believed, hangs out with Giants), and a princess that likes to study. Babysitting seems like it would be easy enough.
Shoot, that is just real life. Don't get me started on some fictional princesses out there.
Simple! Its a palimentary monarchy. Celestia has the power to overide congress's decisions, but she still lets them do their ting so that way she can focus on everything else
4081733
It makes a lot of sense given Twilight's personality and preferences, and the fact that she idolizes Shining.
That Elf-Pegasus Bard also needs Rogue as a creature subtype, though whether or not it would fit is uncertain.
No.
We studied one of his poems in creative writing class on Friday, and I nearly understood it—at the cost of breaking my brain for the rest of the day. Trying to think during CS class was just about impossible, and it was only through luck and massive napping that I was able to avoid a full-on migraine. And then I couldn't fall asleep at night until some ridiculously late hour...
I now know how Twilight felt trying to understand Pinkie Pie.
Sorry, the events of that day have left me somewhat traumatized.
Yes. Yes it was.
Now that I think of it, it's an amusing parallel to Fleetfoot's reaction to meeting Big Mac in ZatAoGR.
Incidental stuff like this, I find, are the best take-aways from the comics. Little things characters like to do, or about what they might be. Like maybe Sombra was more fear-based smoke-monster than pony to begin with.
I bet he plays Pferddagrif. At least when he's not playing Rafiq of the Monkies.
Now onto the cards.
Comedy of Errors looks like a lot of fun in a chaos deck. This card is Discord-approved!
Unbearable Loss: More better Liability. This spell would be nuts with a Gravepact.
Hey! I thought I told you no recursing!
I suppose Shiny did have a point.
Massive Ego would be self-exalting. Come to think of it, that card would work absurdly well in an exalt deck.
Of course they have Star Trek; ever heard of Lieutenant Commander Wolf?
...yes, I used that gag in a game with the Golden Door to Fiction with the Two Daring Dos, and no I'm not sorry.
Also, if you're bringing in the Ogre Slaying Knife, you ought to also bring in a bottle of Honeydew. It's in the fridge, duh.
I think that guard was whistling at celestia's hindquarters. follow where his eyes are pointing
4081772
Not to me tion elected local officials would be a fantastic way for a monarch that actually cares about their subjects to find out about local concerns- people (and one assumes, ponies) are more willing to complain about things to their congressman than their queen. And hey, a group of lawmen drawing up the laws for you to sign (or if they don't meet your standards, reject.) is a great way to take a lot of work off your shoulders.
Another one of my favorite comic storylines, both funny and adorable. The scenes with filly Twilight are dangerously cute.
I'm curious, do you have a plan for when you're going to do the micro series and Friends Forever? The micro series Luna issue remains arguably the single greatest issue to date.
4081904
I see what you did there
I don't really get the flavor text on Mallet Filly. If it missing a word or something?
*Grins at Intense Interrogation* You finally used Fateseal!
Ummhum, that's some tasty mill on Constant Nagging. I always love a good source of recurring mill.
I understand why it is just three colorless but I feel that the activation cost for Comedy of Errors should have some blue/colorless hybrid in it but I'm not sure how to balance it. I think 2{2/U} would work, it'd be CMC three for the blue deck and CMC four for a non-blue deck, and four of any mana for a hard counter-spell is rather good. That being said I don't really like a hard counter-spell that doesn't need blue mana but for the down-side cost reduction to work properly it has to be usable by any color.
An interesting card that brings up some questions of how it would be designed.
I read the name Consult Ziggy and then what it did and my first thought was "Wait, shouldn't that be 'Consult Ziz' instead? Not that she'd give you a straight answer."
I'd say cross-fandom foul but we're already cross-fandom so that doesn't matter.
I feel that Portion Control should read "would gain more than 1 life" but I'm not totally sure if that is correct or not.
The answer to Crash and Burn's flavor text: a minotaur. *Waits for it.*
On Ogre-Slaying Knife; unlike Goats there are quite a few Ogres in the game. Still not as many as some other races but still a good amount of them that this might actually hit an actual Ogre and not just something with Changeling.
I really enjoy the fact that you can have up to four Hocus-Pocus Decks in your deck, and thus you start the main game, then the first sub-game, then a second sub-game, third sub-game and fourth sub-game and then whoever wins the final sub-game wins all of the games.
The "Magic" should be in all caps, see the only non-silver border card that does this.
I also feel that it should read "wins the upper-level game" or "wins the main game". Because just saying "wins the game" doesn't make any sense, because you've already won that game, just, you know, the sub game, there could be some confusion on which game you win for winning the sub-game.
I really love how Embellish works in multiplayer games where you either have a teammate or just someone else you can negotiate with on what spell gets copied.
Massive Ego almost makes me want to splash Red in my Exalted deck. Almost.
I remain steadfast in the belief that either Twilight Velvet or Night Light are either editors at the publishing firm that publishes Daring Do... Or they run it. There is a bit more to it than that in my head, but that is the gist of it.
As for the presence of a Senator in the Equestrian government... It doesn't seem to beyond the pale to have a Congress of some kind and a Monarch. Heck, the Roman Senate persisted well after the acquisition of an Emperor. Considering that Equestria often shows a bit of Greco-Roman influence, especially where pegasus are concerned, the use of the word Senator may have been a deliberate, if low key, reference.
4081733 4081834
Agreed. Nerd Shining is too perfect given his family. If miniature-based war games exist in Equestria, I could totally see him playing them as a colt. Nowadays, the pieces are real and the dice are invisible, so he plays that much more carefully.
4081772
The thing is, the real-life British monarchs don't have much actual power. Cadence is a direct line to Equestria's ruler and chief celestial mechanic. She'd need a 24/7 guard detail (or, at the very least, pantribal self-defense training) to avoid ransom and assassination attempts. Furthermore, there's the matter of her being the second alicorn most ponies ever knew existed. I suppose the novelty might have worn off after a while, but it just feels weird to see one of the most powerful beings in Equestria live life with that power having a minimal impact on it. (With Twilight, it usually feels more natural; she cultivated bonds with Ponyville to help them see past the wings, and is usually respected elsewhere. Except Manehattan.)
Also, with regard to parliamentary monarchies, I'm familiar with the concept; I was just wondering about the details.
4081859
That's the exact reason why it isn't a Rogue, and why I never made Dwarf-Mule Ranger, since that would have to be a Dwarf Pony Donkey Ally at minimum.
4081884
Yikes. Didn't realize you had such a disturbing history with cummings.
Good point about the parallel. Also, Zataogr sounds like a robot-filled anime series that explores themes of consciousness and humanity.
The characterization details are probably the most portable ones... though part of me questions Equestria's industrial and distributive capacity for some of the hobbies.
I could also see Shining play Iroas. The best defense is preventing damage to attackers. Or something like that.
4081904
Fortunately, in Hocus-Pocus, the Wolf Barrage is a lot more effective.
Also:
Compel Carousing 4U
Instant
Roll a six-sided die. Target opponent taps a number of creatures he or she controls equal to the die roll. Creatures tapped this way don't untap during their controller's next untap step.
"Yes, you're getting drunk. Stop asking!"
4081916
The problem is that his pupil, Celestia's rump, and the three promgoers are all on the same line. Plus, unless this is early in his career, he's probably used to the sunbuns.
4082020
Excellent point. This is why I brought up the topic; to foster discussion about it.
4082126
I'm not sure about when to do the other series. Given how we appear to have two weeks left in the hiatus (Caution: Episode title spoilers) I could fit in a blog for the micros and the first Friends Forever issues. Needless to say, the former would not cover the entire micro-series.
Yeah, let's go with that.
4083948
The actual term used was "congresspony." As noted below, I'm familiar with the idea of a constitutional monarchy. I was just curious about Equestria's particular permutation.
4082778
Mallet Filly: No, it's just being poetic. Perhaps overly so.
Intense Interrogation: I've actually used fateseal five times before, including FiCG: Swarm of the Century's Scramble the Shelves and Ponyville Confidential's Invasion of Privacy.
Hocus-Pocus Deck: I feel the use of the term "subgame" makes the distinction clear.
4084000
Perhaps a more modern referent was substituted for "Tribune of the Earth Ponies". In Shakespony at least the Tribunes were always stereotyped as scheming, corrupt politicians who manipulated the public but were not of it, as in Foalius Caesar or Coriomaneus
Perfectly appropriate for young Buck.
(Sadly it seems we don't know the name of Julius Caesar's horse, but apparently he (himself following in Alexander the Great's footsteps) found a horse with mutated cloven hooves to give himself a supernatural aspect
)
4084000
I need to go dig out my copy, I would have SWORN he said senator.
Canterlot Wedding was before the end of summer.
Canterlot Wedding was before the end of summer.
CANTERLOT WEDDING WAS BEFORE THE END OF SUMMER.
CANTERLOT WEDDING WAS BEFORE THE END OF SUMMER.
I guess it's BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD!
I freely admit, the first part I bought because I fell in love with the yearbook cover. I still need to get the omnibus TPB with the second part. Brilliant cards as always n_n
The flavour texts for Comedy of Errors and Portion Control are fantastic. Those for Grease Slick and Embellish are great too, but they're not quite gold-medal quality.