In a nutshell. · 1:08pm Aug 31st, 2016
A ruler has unusually low standards for both herself and others. For no given reason, which has not yet been questioned by at least a thousand people, said ruler decided to be a male when originally female. She, who is now a he, meets up with a little girl in an alley way alone, which totally sounds like the start of a hentai plot. Cuddling afterwards, they decide to live together in an unusually huge cardboard box. Big enough to not also fit a large male, but a small child with legroom to boot. No one questions this. Anyway, they live in this box without really talking about it. They proceed to spend a year together, most conversations generally go something like this:
"I JUST WANT TO BE A USELESS, RESPONSIBILITY FREE SACK OF SH-"
"OH MY GOSH CUTTING YOU OFF WITH EITHER SASS OR A WEIRD OPINION."
"GEE KID, YOU HAVE UNUSUALLY HIGH EXPECTATIONS AT TIMES FOR A HOMELESS CHILD."
"GEE SIR, FOR BEING OUR RULER FOR A 1000 YEARS STRAIGHT, YOU SURE ARE A SACK OF SH-"
"HEY KID, LET ME RAMBLE ABOUT MY PAST LIKE I'M WISE, OR DRUNK."
"THE ONLY TIME I'LL ACTUALLY ACT LIKE AN INNOCENT CHILD SOMEWHAT IS WHEN YOU'RE IN ANCIENT RULER MODE SO HOLD ON HERE, LET ME PULL OUT MY WIND UP TOY THAT MAKES GENERIC LITTLE KID NOISES."
"I watched my parents die."
*Pulls string*
"Wow!"
"Speaking of completely changing the subject, Allow me to be a calm voice of reason at precious few moments- SWEET LUNA YOU MAKE THE BEST PILLOW."
"WHY ARE YOU SO WEIRD? CAN WE DO THIS EQUALLY WEIRD THING INSTEAD?"
And so forth.
Then the ruler leaves, and the kid is sad for like, five seconds, and then ruler kinda just... coughs out an entire house, pushes the kid inside and calls it a day. Cuddling even more afterwards, the two proceed to do more stupid things which generally paints the picture over time that they love each other dearly.
Truly, it's an artistic masterpiece of modern literature.
I'm pretty sure the reason is a combination of boredom and altruism.
4183528
I'm putting my money on deep-seated daddy issues and an inferiority complex.
Well your masterful writing somehow gracefully implied to my emotions that it was bigger on the inside. Yes...
We may have been working on implied headcanon from your previous stories.
s2.quickmeme.com/img/57/5790e8801aa7a2d32cc20313417916abf5811709aca257ac019d13fb72d8ab6d.jpg
4183545
Help, my Genderbent Mom bit my Skateboard.
If you're going to disguise yourself with near-unlimited magical options, you might as well go the whole hog.
Maybe it's used to contain a reaaaally big refrigerator?
4183545
Actually, now I think about it that is a perfectly reasonable explanation. She has simply literally forgotten what a mare looks like.
Edit: OH MY GOD I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW IT WORKS
I always assumed Celestia just really was dedicated to the bum aesthetic and that's why.
4183528
I first read that as autism and I laughed way too much.
Why isnt THIS the story summary?
4183557
Tell me more of your thoughts on the matter. You've got me hooked.
Eeyup.
THIS.
Well when you explain it THAT way....
4183620 Here's what I've head canoned so far
All conceivable forms of artwork or construction are included in the illusion, because it was easier for the creator of the illusion to do that than to specify what constitutes clothing. This is because, like many things, clothing operates under the laws of platonic idealism. So it was easier to do massive broad strokes of all created things than to go into the nitty gritty and often case-by-case bases of clothing.
It's very important that clothing is included in the illusion, because you can't have experts like Rarity being inexplicably incapable of properly fitting... whatever portion of the population you have head canoned as female. That would draw a lot of attention, and there's no way of knowing what obscure kind of clothing that doesn't fit any of the normal rules could suddenly surge in popularity. So while Rarity's mind is measuring and crafting a beautiful dress for a beautiful mare, the illusion ensures that her body is measuring and crafting a beautiful dress for a cross-dressing stallion.
And because of these broad strokes, all forms of art including but not limited to paintings, drawings, sketches, murals and statues are included in the illusion, depicting stallions in reality whilst showing mares to observers. Thus, Celestia hasn't seen the form of a mare since the illusion lost it's power on her, and has forgotten the appearance beyond all recollection. The female form now exists in her mind only as an abstract concept.
Her disguise was male because magic depends on the imagination, and her imagination is no longer capable of envisioning a female disguise. Also, she's a terrible artist, can't draw to save her life. *phew, loophole closed*
As for her behaviour, she adores the phrase 'my little pony,' as well as other gender neutral pronouns. It allows her to buy a lot of time to get to know what gender a pony is. She's also taken great pains to steer Equestrian society to greater acceptance of such things as cross-dressing and transexualism. Purely for her own benefit, of course.
And God looked upon his work, and he saw that it was good.
It's an embarrassment is what it is. And stop calling yourself made-up words, sister.
Don't criticize my art, Lulu! And it's not made-up, it's in the dictionary!
Because you put it there last year. With crayons. While sitting in a cardboard box in some back alley. Shortly before your to-be-adopted daughter pushed your face into a puddle of mud because you took her crayons again without asking.
You'd be surprised how many great decisions of our government were made that way. Why, it's practically tradition by now.
I'm not surprised, I do know, and I really wish I didn't.
I don't really see the problem. Clearly this is what life is like in Equestria. It would be rude to question it.
4183955
Define the meaning behind the phrase "the illusion".
4183955
4184039
Sits back with popcorn.
Pffft ahahahah!
4184082
4183955
He uses "the illusion" like a idiomatic phrase to reference a specific set of concepts, just as someone would use "The Masquerade" as an idiomatic phrase to reference the specific concepts of the vampire conspiracy.
Yup.
Sounds legit.
Or it's just some ultimately silly nonsense that rides the wave of silliness it started with and has no major message to express and was written for the sheer ridiculous joy of putting pen to paper - in a manner of speaking. Is that a bad thing? Did I miss a memo?
Yep.
4184329
The little tags at the end.
4184383
The what now?
...
Oh Jesus, I don't pay attention to hashtags, man! Also, is this something you wrote or a paraphrase of some other idiocy?
>Laffs to ded
4184234
Are you being facetious?
When I say, "The illusion," I am referring to the magical perception filter behind Pickless' other story, 'Help, my Father Bit my Skateboard'
I had been under the impression that you were already aware of this. Do you have mature stories enabled? Enable mature stories and go read about dicks.
4184082
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4184456
Something I wrote on the spot this morning, couldn't sleep.
4184571
Ah. I feel ya man.
4184536
Never read that story. Will do now.
This explains my confusion.
Thank your for your constructive participation.
I agree, it IS kind of funny in a stupid way
4184864
Yeah, I suppose needing to read that story is a bit of a barrier to entry in this conversation.
I apologise for being short with you, I was still mentally reeling from the knowledge that you hadn't read the story. The way you worded your moar comment, I was convinced you'd already crossed that barrier.
4184977
Now i have read it.
4185060
I'm sorry.
4183955
Also, I don't how to feel to see someone work out so much head canon over something I wrote.
That fic takes me back man I wrote that when I just started-
4186028
You have only yourself to blame. I never would have connected them if you hadn't said what you said.