Friendship is Card Games: Equestria Girls Holiday Special · 11:33am Dec 25th, 2016
Happy Christmukkah! Aren’t lunar calendars fun?
In any case, a few weeks ago, I had the very good idea to plan out my schedule as far as I could based on what comics I have available. (For those wondering, that’s through all of May.) However, once I started assigning dates, I realized that one blog would fall on Christmas itself, which told me two things: One, I’d need to do that one in advance, because like heck I was going to work on card designs on Christmas Eve. Two, it would need to be one of the holiday specials.
I decided to go for the chronological route, which means I get to deal with the obscenity of a concept that is Anon-a-Miss. Quite the present to myself, huh? 
Nice touch with the humanized version of the stock group shot with Sunset in Twilight’s place.
Either human Applejack has a lot less extended family than her pony counterpart, or she’s just talking having the whole nuclear family around for Generic Winter Solstice Holiday. Either way, conspicuous absence of parents.
Very interesting to get more background on Sunset, especially her less-than-close relationship with her family.
Given how she’s looking through a window at birds on a leafy branch, Fluttershy appears to be in a different hemisphere or month than her friends when she receives Applejack’s text.
Huh. The human world uses the QWERTY layout. I guess they had to worry about typewriter-jamming word-per-minute rates too. Pinkie certainly would’ve been cause for concern back in the day.
You have to love the little details in Pinkie’s MyStable page, like her five-digit friend count and how Maud likes and comments on every post. Also, the browser windows in… er, Internet Browser go maximize, close, minimize rather than the stoplight arrangement usually seen on MacOS. Curious.
Human Cheerilee does seem to be the school librarian. Interesting.
Okay, those low-detail expressions are more than a little disconcerting. I think it’s the absence of noses.
Heh. Meta joke about Fluttershy’s then unknown family. Though it does introduce a curious discontinuity between the worlds.
Ah yes, the infamous open and shut panel. Action lines, like words, mean things. Use them carefully.
That being said, I love both Sunset’s expression when confronted with Pinkie’s squee and how that squee transcends time and space.
Sunset’s uncertainty regarding slumber parties neatly places this between the first two movies, which makes sense… though I’m surprised that it took Pinkie this long to throw a slumber party for her newest bestie. (Of course, it can’t be that simple.)
Huh. Going by the Limit Break, I guess Magic Drive Racer VI Deluxe is a tie-in to the local Final Fantasy analogue. And that their VI uses the mechanics of our VII. It’s possible that I’m overthinking this.
I count seventeen pizza boxes in that sixteen-pizza stack. So yes, I’m definitely overthinking this. 
Heh. It is the duty of siblings to embarrass one another whenever appropriate.
I appreciate how Rarity took the time to put on her sleeping mask before drifting off.
And here we hit the continuity snag. Sunset has the quantum entanglement journal, which means that she doesn’t understand how slumber parties work after already having had one. 
And so it begins…
Huh. Seems that Fluttershy and Dash both have their learners’ permits.
I have to agree with Pinkie. The Closet of Shame may not contain much in the way of everyday wear, but it does have a lot of fantastic outfits.
Sigh. On the one hand, the evidence is stacked against Sunset. On the other hand, it’s called benefit of the doubt. If someone’s helped you vanquish evil mind-controlling sea creatures, she deserves some trust.
What happened to not using the school computers for social networking? Heck, where are the adults in all of this? I know cyberbullying in the real world can fly under the radar all too regularly, but still, CHS has one of the most approachable faculties in all of education, fictional or otherwise.
Wow. Human Trixie’s kind of ass, isn’t she? Granted, she does likely bear a heavy grudge against the girls who lucked into actual magic,
The cloud gremlins have human analogues? Tony’s got to get those in-jokes in, I guess.
Also, given the truth of the matter, why has Anon-a-Miss diversified into tearing the entire school apart?
… That is a book bed. Was Sunset living in the library this whole time? If nothing else, she seems worryingly proficient at putting together one of those. Of course, Spike whipped one together and he was a dog at the time, so make of that what you will.
The humanized windigoes are a very cool visual, no pun intended.
And so Sunset resolves a conflict that never should’ve happened in the first place. Again, when you help form a friendship rainbow laser, it’s pretty safe to say that you’ve turned over a new leaf.
Wow, AJ. Keep driving the knife in, I think Sunset still has a few drops of blood left in her.
I find it hard to believe that the Crusaders didn’t mean for it go this far given how they started posting everyone’s dirty laundry. Their motivation is flimsier than a balsa wood skyscraper: After one night of Applejack spending time with her friends, Apple Bloom decides to send Sunset’s reputation into the toilet? It may be near the holidays, but still, one night? Especially given the whole “saved your asses from getting mind controlled” thing? Maybe if it had been later in the “slumber party at everybody’s” plan, but the first freaking night!?
Also, given her previous activities, I find it very hard to believe Sunset’s phone wasn’t password protected. And I find it even harder to believe that any instance of Scootaloo would willingly publicize evidence that Rainbow Dash isn’t perfect.
PEOPLE SUBMITTED SHIT!? Okay, so the entire school is rife with hypocrites and horrible, horrible people.
… Oh. Right. High school. Still, that doesn’t mean that the Crusaders had to post any of it. All the glomps in the world don’t forgive that. To say nothing of the entire school going for Sunset’s throat when they engineered most of it.
If there’s any justice, those six months of detention will come with the scorn of the other students. The protagonists I can accept; they embody harmonious virtues, so their being as forgiving as any Equestrian pony makes sense. On the other hand, the rest of the student body consists of par-for-the-course teenagers who lapped up the gossip with a spoon to the point that it turned them into a blank-eyed legion of scorn. They should be coming down on the Crusaders like a ton of bricks.
(And now I’m wondering if Anon-a-Miss’s last post divulged her sources. All of them. Oh, what havoc that would wreak.)
My point is, if Canterlot High is more forgiving than the citizens of Ponyville towards a certain gossipmongering trio, something has gone horribly wrong. Especially since the ponies were coerced, while the humans chose to tear apart their school’s social fabric worse than Sunset ever did.
Despite the enraging aspects of this special, you have to remember to take a moment to appreciate the little things, like the Apple family’s fruit-themed holiday decorations.
In all this comic is a lesson: Holiday specials and PSAs should never mix. And that’s what this is, a PSA comic about cyberbullying trying to fold in a message about family in the time of goodwill towards men. Trying and failing. It plays its hand too heavily and suffers a crippling logical failure because of it. Combine that with an attempt to repent that almost outdoes Season 5 Starlight Glimmer in terms of insufficiency, and this one is infamous for a reason.
Still, that doesn’t mean I can’t work with it. Merry Christmukkah to all, and to all some good cards:
Limit Break 2WW
Sorcery
Fateful hour — If you have 5 or less life, creatures you control get +2/+2 and gain double strike and lifelink until end of turn.
The greatest feats are performed when they matter most.
Client Hack 2UU
Sorcery
Target player reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals an instant or sorcery card. You may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then that player shuffles his or her library.
Social Network 3U
Enchantment
All creatures have “1, T: Draw a card, then discard a card.”
”The Internet is one of the most powerful tools ever created by any sapient race, used to share pictures of meals and complain about fiction.”
—Sunset Shimmer
Stolen Secrets 3UU
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals his or her hand. Draw a card for each card revealed this way.
Learning opportunities are everywhere if you know how to look.
Usher Out XUU
Sorcery
Return all creatures with converted mana cost X or less to their owners’ hands.
Rarity: “It’s time for adult conversation, dear.”
Sweetie Belle: “You’re sixteen!”
Hollow Repentance 1B
Instant
Target player sacrifices a creature, then gains life equal to that creature’s power.
”Sometimes doing everything you can still isn’t enough.”
—Sunset Shimmer
Old Shame 2B
Sorcery
Draw three cards.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if Old Shame is in your graveyard, you lose 1 life.
2B, Discard three cards: Return Old Shame from your graveyard to your hand.
Sadistic Spectator 2B
Creature — Human Rogue
Whenever another creature dies, you may put a +1/+1 counter on Sadistic Spectator. If you do, you lose 1 life.
”You all have your fun. I just like to watch.”
2/2
Soul of Spite 2BB
Creature — Spirit
When Soul of Spite dies, all creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn.
Rumors had always taken on a life of their own. As magic flooded the world, that life became all too literal.
2/1
Gossipmonger 3B
Creature — Human Monger
2: Each player loses 1 life. Any player may activate this ability.
”I’ll tell you everything I’ve heard. All I ask for is something new.”
3/3
Ominous Taleteller 3B
Creature — Human Citizen
When Ominous Taleteller enters the battlefield, you draw X cards and lose X life, where X is the number of Humans you control.
The bigger the audience, the more memorable the story.
1/2
Teenage Backstabbers 3B
Creature — Human Rogue
Exploit (When this creature enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice a creature.)
When Teenage Backstabbers exploits a creature, target player discards two cards.
”Nothing personal.”
2/2
Broken Trust 3BB
Enchantment
Creatures can’t be the targets of spells or abilities their controllers control.
Society is founded on unspoken promises and unwritten rules. Without them, it breaks down almost instantly.
Humiliating History 5B
Sorcery
Delve (Each card you exile from your graveyard while casting this spell pays for 1.)
Each player loses 1 life for each card in his or her graveyard.
Combat Fury R
Instant
Target attacking creature gains double strike until end of turn.
The first step of any journey, including a headlong charge, is the hardest. The rest flow naturally.
Stage Dive 2R
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast Stage Dive, sacrifice a creature.
Stage Dive deals damage equal to the sacrificed creature’s power to each creature.
Every performer should leave an impact on the audience.
Unseasonable Bloom 1G
Sorcery
Each player may put any number of land cards from his or her hand onto the battlefield tapped.
”That’s odd. I didn’t think this world had weather magic.”
—Sunset Shimmer
Bunny Trucker 2G
Creature — Rabbit Artificer
Metalcraft — As long as you control three or more artifacts, Bunny Trucker gets +5/+5 and has trample.
”This game is weird.”
—Pinkie Pie
1/1
Wallowing Hogs 4G
Creature — Boar
Landfall — Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, you gain 3 life.
”’Happy as a pig in mud’ ain’t just an expression.”
—Applejack
3/4
Consult Twilight 2WU
Sorcery
You gain 3 life and draw two cards.
Fateful hour — If you have 5 or less life, you instead gain 6 life and draw four cards.
”I trust Sunset. If she’s reaching out to me, it’s probably serious.”
—Princess Twilight Sparkle
Obscured Identity
Conspiracy
Hidden agenda (Start the game with this conspiracy face down in the command zone and secretly name a card. You may turn this conspiracy face up any time and reveal the chosen name.)
Creatures you control with the chosen name have “1U: This creature gains hexproof until end of turn.”
Either this is a typo, or someone is trying (badly) to ruin a wedding...
Nothing to put you in the holiday spirit like a PSA about cyberbullying, huh?
Honestly, on this Christmas of all times, a PSA about cyberbullying sounds like a fine and timely thing to me.
4354718 When you put it like that this comic sounds stupid... wait, it already was!
Humiliating History is an interesting card, especially if you use it to exile Old Shame right after playing it.
Love the flavor text on Stage Dive.
I thought you enjoyed making up cards, or is it enjoyable but stressful?
4354710 That card is going to be perfect. Future tense.
I'm amused and annoyed that "do X as well when you're under Y life" is already keyworded as Fateful Hour, because now I need a different True Laughter ability.
4354710
Fixed. Thanks.
4354891
I am far too proud of that particular bit of flavor text, yes.
4355087
It's definitely enjoyable; it's just time-consuming. It takes me at least four hours to throw together the commentary and cards, and that's four hours I don't spend with my family when I don't get to see some of them on a very frequent basis.
4355091
As chroma and devotion taught us, one can always reflavor preexisting mechanics. They're going to need to if they ever bring back bushido.
Is there supposed to be an "in" after that? Or does it imply that that card must be the only card in the graveyard?
I figured I'd read the issue before this FiCG, seeing as, apparently, I actually have it. It didn't seem terribly unreasonable until the sudden ending that failed to justify the CMC's actions in the first place...
...especially that. They weren't blackmailed this time, so I'd expect that once they realized that they had made a mistake (probably shortly after the second of third post), they'd quit on their own. As far as the ruthless nature of the teenage population of CHS... they were under Evil Sunset's rule for quite some time, so the pervasive nature of negativity – not just directed at Sunset, but in general – is probably more familiar of a territory than the Friendship is Magic culture that has only existed since Twilight popped through.
I'm not sure what to think about backstabbing being added to RoboFoME.
(Edit)
Now that you mention it, there very much seems to be 16 in the first panel, and 17 in the next.
So, uh, Limit Break does nothing if you're above five life? Maybe give out the +2/+2 as the base and the double strike and life link on the Faithful hour.
On Social Network's flavor text; She forgot about cat pictures, how could she forget about the cat pictures?
As for the ability I think it should probably cost 2 to activate, since colorless shouldn't be more efficient at a colored ability than that color and this is the sort of thing that'd probably cost one Blue normally, if not one generic and a Blue.
Huh. I like Stolen Secrets. Information gathering at it's finest.
I also like Old Shame, especially when used together with Madness.
Well, Gossipmonger reminded me of the "Monger" creature type. I feel kinda bad for Squallmonger since it has no other creature type. Would it have killed them to make it an Elf?
I could see death by Ominous Taleteller being a thing if someone got you an extra Human or two at Instant speed.
Broken Trust is a great Commander card.
I like how Delve is on Humiliating History, nice job with that.
Nice flavor text on Stage Dive. The card itself is also nice.
Unseasonable Bloom has the potential to be utterly broken, especially if you use it in combination with a lot of land search into hand effect.
Minor typo in the flavor text for it, it should be "That's".