Spiketards and Hetshippers · 2:46am Jan 5th, 2017
The rules of the site prevent me from naming or linking to examples of what I am planning on ranting about here. Doing so probably would constitute personal attacks against other site users. So you're going to have to take my word for it that these people exist, and do the sorts of things I'm about to describe. If you happen to know people like this, or have seen this sort of behavior, please do not name names or post links to examples. I don't want anyone else getting in trouble either. But it is a topic that I think is fair to express. 
Now, looking at the title of this blog, you might immediately decide to become offended. I've noticed that this isn't an entirely unusual response to the terms, and this blog is in part an attempt to actually define what they mean, so that those who it doesn't apply to might realize they have nothing to be offended about.
If I were to say, "dirty mule" you could interpret that several ways. A lot of people might think that I'm saying all mules are dirty. Especially if you replace "mule" with some other noun. Perhaps one indicative of a race, especially if the reader is of that race. What is going on here is that someone is seeing the fact that they're a mule, that I'm calling mules dirty, and interpreting my statement to be an insult to them as a mule. I am therefore calling them dirty. Their reaction is one of righteous indignation, for my being bigoted against mules. How dare I.
I might be talking about a particular mule though. One who has not bathed recently enough for my tastes. English works that way, and that is a perfectly valid and appropriate way to describe such a mule. It's reliant on context to know that is what I mean. It is reliant on context to understand if I mean the interpretation of the previous paragraph, but a lot of mules will ignore context, and make it all about themselves. This effect is prominent enough that even if great care is taken to explicitly indicate that this second interpretation is the intended one, some mules particularly lacking in reading comprehension skills will still insist that the previous interpretation is the one they will use, and will react accordingly.
I guess I've just insulted some people who are not the groups described by the title terms, by saying you lack reading comprehension for being offended by my terms that don't apply to you. Well, I'm not known for my tact.
You might argue that by calling someone a mule, that invites the bigoted interpretation. We're typically taught these days of political correctness that we shouldn't be specifying that someone is a mule, if we're objecting to the fact that they're dirty. This is not an unwarranted education, but sometimes the fact that they are a mule is important to the distinction for some reason.
Lets stop offending the mules for a moment and get back to Spike because, if you're a spiketard, you care about Spike quite a bit. If you're a fan of Spike, you may also care about Spike quite a bit. You're quite possibly not even reading at this point, because of righteous indignation, that I'm being bigoted towards you for liking a fictional character. This isn't the case, but you're interpreting my title that way.
Once again I am addressing someone I am presuming isn't actually reading my blog. Funny how often I do that.
Much like my objection to the mule isn't that they're a mule, but that they're dirty, my objection to the group of people I'm referring to isn't that they enjoy the fictional character named Spike. Liking Spike isn't the defining characteristic of this group, though it does seem pretty common among them. The fact that it is prevalent among this group, and often the way their defining behavior is expressed by them is why "Spike" is part of the moniker.
What is defining of this group is, as hinted at, their behavior. As it is typical of them to express this behavior using Spike, do keep firmly in mind that when I describe this behavior, it is not Spike the fictional character himself that is the objectionable part.
Lets say I write a story. I happen to be of the mindset that you can comment on it in pretty much any way you like, but I'm not really too interested in others having a personal conversation with each other about a topic other than my story in the comments section of my story. Say what you like, but keep it in the ballpark of the topic. If someone decided to lament my poor choice of character to populate my story, that's fair game. If you decide to point out mistakes I made in grammar, plot-logic, formatting, or various other technical reasons, I'm rather happy to receive that sort of feedback and will fix mistakes I understand and agree with are mistakes. If I see that my intent with my story isn't being broadcast correctly, I will seek to adjust my signal until it is. I don't seek praise or hugbox type feedback. If all you want to do is insult me as an apparently awful person for having written the story I wrote, that's fine too. It may not be of much value to me, but you're still pretty free to say as you please.
I also realize that some other authors are not nearly as enlightened as I am when it comes to comment sections of their stories. My openness isn't, like, a rule or something. I don't expect others to be so. Some may be better at it than me. I'm not perfect. But when a spiketard comments on a story, it generally isn't about the story. It's about Spike.
Or, more accurately, it isn't about the story, it's about the spiketard. What they demand.
A typical scenario is that an author writes a story. Spike might be in the story, but not very important to it. Maybe the story is about Twilight Sparkle or Rarity, and Spike is just around because he lives with Twilight or is friends with Rarity. Or maybe he's not in the story at all. Either way, the spiketard would completely ignore the story that is being told, and demand that Spike be granted greater relevance in the story. Maybe a romantic story about Rarity and Coco Pommel doesn't mention Spike even once.
I've seen one example where the author took this sort of feedback and decided he agreed with it. I assume it has happened other times. I would say the spiketard was still being pretty hostile with his comment, and the author was rather gracious in a way I admire for their ability to find value in such poor feedback. Most of the time though, it seems the feedback is not appreciated by the author, and the spiketard is not very welcome in most story comment sections.
The point here is that, while yes different situations, personalities, opinions, and contexts can make for a variety of situations, and there isn't a hard-fast definitive or black and white case to be made here, the intent of the title is to indicate that the persons it applies to retards or tries to downgrade things by their efforts. They let their personal like of a particular character blind them to helpfully criticizing a story, and they're usually pretty stupid and hostile about it. Even if they're right about their suggestions, many of them are so habitual about their behavior, that you can see them saying the same thing on multiple stories. A single author deciding they agree with one doesn't excuse their behavior.
Now, what they're doing isn't against the rules. Hell, I wouldn't even delete their comments from one of my own stories were they to infest one. But I do dislike their general attitude, and so I've come up with a derisive term for them. Spiketard.
Similar to the spiketard is the hetshipper. Like the spiketard, it isn't a group of people defined because they prefer heterosexual shipping stories. It's that they, like the spiketard, infest a story with inane comments. Where "spiketard" is clearly a portmanteau of Spike and retard, hetshipper is slightly more complex. It clearly is a portmanteau of heterosexual and shipper, but it isn't because the individual is heterosexual or necessarily a shipper.
While not always the case, a hetshipper is often someone who expresses a strong opinion favoring "heteronormative balance" in fanfics. The general logic they follow is that in real life, homosexuality accounts for maybe 10% of the populace, so stories featuring relationships ought to conform to that ratio of 90% straight, 10% gay. To do otherwise breaks immersion because it makes the world of the story too unreal. Much like if you were to ignore gravity and have houses turn upside down and float, you'd make it harder for readers to believe your story/setting.
Just to clarify, the heteronormative balance is a big enough deal to these people that they fret over the relatability of a setting that includes Discord and Pinkie Pie. This same setting has talking colorful ponies using magic, controlling the seasons, and literally moving the sun and moon around in the sky like a kite. Physics are paid lip-service to at best, biology as a whole is more or less entirely followed or ignored on whim, and I repeat, magic is a major part of the setting. The main cast are not humans, they're ponies. Whatever evolutionary and biological balances and norms exist for them are inherently different than humans. It is a fantasy setting.
Even more absurd is the idea that somehow all stories on Fimfiction.net should follow this balance. If one story has a lesbian pairing in it, there should be another featuring a gay pairing, and at least 18 featuring straight couples.
If you see a cute story about romance between two female characters from the MLP show, chances are pretty good that it's because the writer likes those two characters, likes the ship between them, or has some specific story to tell that they decided would best be told using those characters. Rarely do you see stories told specifically with some agenda to promote homosexuality. Even if you see those, so what? Artist's caveat. Rule#0. Complaining that these kinds of stories are popular is a fair opinion or stance to hold, but I don't feel it is particularly appropriate to express in the comments section of such a story. Complaining that "everyone" writes lesbian stories and that you wish more people would write heterosexual stories in a story clearly written about two mares is highly rude to the author. Expressing this opinion isn't done with the intent to help the author improve their story in any way, it's to exert pressure on them to conform to your desires and opinions. To get them to write the stories you want, instead of the commenting on the story they did write.
Again, hold whichever opinion you like. Express it if you like, whereever you like. The rules permit it and I permit it, but I'm still going to mock you because that's my opinion and I'm going to express that. These terms allow me to mock you on merit, and be dismissive of you as is appropriate.
If you happen to be someone who has a fondness for Spike, or romantic stories between mares and stallions, more power to you. This blog isn't necessarily about you. If you're ever offended by my mocking a spiketard or hetshipper because you think you're part of the term I'm using, be assured you're not. Unless you behave the way I've described. Then fuck you.
This blog triggers me in all the right ways.
4369772 derpicdn.net/img/2016/9/26/1258668/large.png
For a little bit of counterbalance, I'm just gonna say a little bit about Spike and shipping myself.
I do like Spike, but I don't think that if he isn't the main focus of the story, he needs a larger role.
What I do think, though, is that since Spike is Twilight's assistant, he's gonna spend a lot of time around Twilight, and around the castle, doing things like rearranging books or cleaning. So if you have a story that spends a bunch of time around Twilight or the castle, I kinda expect either to see Spike there at some point, at least in the background, or something explaining that he's not there.
This isn't really that he needs a large role, but, you know, shuffling books in the background?
By the same token, it'd be nice to see Owlowiscious around the castle occasionally, Winona around Sweet Apple Acres, Opal around the Carousel Boutique... I like continuity.
As far as shipping goes, I do kinda think it's silly when everypony is suddenly lesbian. I also think it's silly when everypony needs to be shipped. Not everypony needs to be in a relationship. I think paying attention to the character is important when shipping 'em, too.
Between Prince Blueblood and Trenderhoof, for example, Rarity is definitely interested in stallions. She could also be interested in mares, of course. Twilight, well, she's interested in books and magic. She could be asexual. OTOH, if she met the right magic book...
So, I don't think you need any magic percentage of relationships between either sex, but the shipping should make sense for the characters or be silly enough for that not to matter. And, you know, why would all the mane six and the cmc suddenly be in relationships? Maybe Pinkie's interested in parties and friends, but not romance, for example...
I think the big thing, really, is if you want to ship two characters, convince me in story and have it happen naturally. Show reasons why they'd be interested in each other. build up is important.
And I think I might have lost track of what I was talking about in relationship to this blog somewhere.
--Sweetie Belle
The first description of what the writer is complaining about starts at the 13th paragraph of this blog, if anyone wanted to skip right to it out of curiosity for what a "spiketard" or "hetshipper" is.
4369870
Same here.
4369870
Counterbalance?
Just as there are plenty of people who might feel they fall under what they think is too umbrella a term that it catches them when I never intend it to and they take umbrage that they think it does, this blog is not so broad and overarching as to even remotely attempt to cover all of the different situations, personalities, opinions, and contexts that can make for a variety of situations of which you have brought up but one more.
What you describe is one of many in which someone likely isn't a hetshipper or a spiketard.
On the other hand, someone who writes a story and decides to make it silly and loaded with lesbians is exercising their right to do so. You are free to dislike a story, and you I know that you in particular are plenty tactful enough to hold a conversation with such an author and probably be helpful and wholesome.
As stated, objecting to the choices an author makes isn't the defining trait of the group to which the label applies. It is the useless, rude, dismissive, and self-entitled manor in which they express the opinion, not the opinion or the appropriateness or deservedness of the story/author for such an opinion.
4369872
tl:dr, Cryo likes to sit by the fire and ramble on while the youngun's listen to her aging voice and marvel at how she can keep going and going.
4369925
Well, more of "I'm gonna ramble on about my own thoughts on the subject", really.
It is something I do see a lot of, tho', and I did kinda want to make the point that sometimes a story legitimately could use more Spike, or less lesbians, or at least more appropriate choices.
I'd have more of a problem with serious and loaded with lesbians. Silly excuses a lot, as you're probably just purposefully going over the top. If you're trying to be serious, it could be kinda immersion breaking, though.
And yeah, I'm good with tact, and have had constructive conversations about why the main character probably shouldn't be named your fimfiction handle, and things like that.
I'm not really sure they need special labels, though. If somepony is making comments in a useless, rude, dismissive, and self-entitled manner, it's not really gonna matter what the topic is. It's still not gonna be very helpful, even if they aren't talking about Spike and lesbians.
Somehow I'm starting to think there needs to be a story about Spike, lesbians, and Twilight being shipped with a magic book...
--Sweetie Belle
4369949 I'd say less "counterbalance" and more "your two cents/devil's advocate"
Pretty interesting blog, all in all.
If I don't like the premise of a fic, including the ship, then I'm probably not going to read it. And I'm certainly not going to say something about that in the comments. That would be like walking into an Italian restaurant and saying, "you know, this would be a much better restaurant if it served Japanese food instead, and maybe had blue walls instead of red ones." I might write a review of one on Rage Reviews, but if I feel really antagonistic towards a whole genre or ship, I'll probably shoot a link to a friend and have them do a reality check on me. .
I sometimes wish there were more m/m shippers on the site. It sometimes seems as though people who like or write those come in for a lot of criticism from some people and it's usually male readers, let's be honest. In most fandoms, it's heterosexual women writing about gay men and saying that two women are disgusting If you're a straight person who fetishises one type of same gender romance while acting all disgusted about another kind, then I will judge you and judge you hard and take away your shipping license.
The reason why Like Reality Unless Noted exists is not because writers are lazy, but because it is simply a set of default assumptions baked into everything. Having magic in your world doesn't really change this fact.
There are actually good reasons for why this sort of thing makes sense and indeed, it can strain my suspension of disbelief to see everyone be gay. And every one of my shipfics involves lesbians!
That doesn't mean that I have a problem with any couple, but when everyone in the setting ends up gay, it ends up feeling kind of fetishistic.
Doesn't mean I want to see a lot of straight shipfics. But when I see a shipfic in which everyone is gay, it does tend to strain my credulity.
4370114
No it's because readers are lazy (which is, arguably, their prerogative otherwise performance art and storytelling wouuldn't be valid professions) and having magic in MLP canon doesn't change this fact even though it should. If someone is going to whine about orientation in an unlicensed story about a lady-positive universe where the rules of its magic are still changing even now I heartily endorse them being mocked and downvoted.
I draw the line at harassment, though. Which is what Spiketards and Hetshippers engage in. Your concern about poor underrepresented Spike is noted, but if the author cared as much as you do, Spike woulda shown up. Say your piece, then step off. But no, it can never be that easy. They gotta come back, and they gotta bring their pals. And nothing is ever added to the conversation. It'd be almost fine if "needs more Spike" or "why are they gay" counted as concrit, but it doesn't. It never ever does except in cases where the author is just THAT naive, which rarely happens anymore.
As an unpaid author around these parts, I couldn't care less whether or not someone writes multi-lesbian ships or Spikeless stories, mainly because the odds of me finding another one of those before finding HiE college-aged dude fantasy #2,547,690 are slim indeed.
Write whatever the fuck you want. And for heaven's sake, write what you want to read before writing for anyone else. Spiketards and Hetshippers don't get this.
But to get hate on this site all you have to do is write minimal Spike where Twilight is involved (which goes back as far as this site's inception) or write a lesbian ship (which goes as far back as Equestria Daily's goddamn star system in 2011). To get hate for anything else you need have written rape, an idiotic political soapbox, or joined a story flood/bandwagon. Of these five, two and a half of these things are not like the others.
And that's why this blog exists.
4369870
Nope. Nein. Still doesn't need to happen.
Cryo hasn't said it for whatever reason, so I will: I've seen way too much Spiketard talk start off with exactly the above words. Does Spike shuffling books in the background serve anything to the story's purpose aside from sating a random person's Spike/continuity nerd boner? No?
Then write whatever the fuck you want, authors.
4370230 So, back when EqD was relevant?
:P
4370477
That place has its uses. Just not to fanfic writers. It's debatable as to whether or not it ever did, and I say that as someone who EqD initially put on the map (only for them to put up a "no fanfic mode" button weeks later).
4370499 ... If I had a week I couldn't list all the reasons that's counterintuitive.
4370501
You shoud do it anyway. In front of Farrie.
She'll love you for it I promise
4369949
As long as the book as male, in order to pay at least lip service to heteronormativity.
4370107
I narrowly miss your stereotype. I'm a lesbian and I almost kinda-sorta wrote a gay story. I doubt anyone who is actually into that sort of thing would enjoy what I was going to write even if I did finish it. Might get back to it some day.
4370114
4370230 Said it pretty well, but to expand:
There are a lot of factors that can determine if a story is good or bad. Immersion is one of the most important ones. Most people are capable of suspending their disbelief to various degree. You and are I both aware of these things, and many authors on the site aren't. Coaching someone on ways to help their story not strain suspension of disbelief is certainly a valuable conversation, or even a great blog topic to refer people to. Hint hint.
The groups being described are not doing so. They have an agenda. Depending on the level of infection of a particular story's comments, it might just be a single rude comment, made off-handedly. "I wish this had straight romance in it. There are way too many lesbian stories." Enjoy your downvote, asshole(not actually said, but implied by me for emphasis). You could argue that such a person doesn't deserve mockery or response, and many times are not mocked nor responded to. A higher degree of infection often occurs if anyone does, provoking them to start to defend their misbehavior when called out (by others; I tend not to engage these people much). The Hetshipper will usually profess some religious belief that forms the basis of their active disdain for homosexuals, and gives them this sense of permission to express this disdain and attempt to push their agenda, even in this ineffective and inelegant way.
A hetshipper isn't someone seeking to help an author improve their story. If their comments are valid or helpful, that is a side effect, not the intent. They may even attempt to masquerade as a helpful person, or delude themselves into thinking they are generally or genuinely helpful. Once again, note the heavy emphasis of my blog on pointing out the false positives. We're discussing a particular group of people who do not self-identify this way, and would object to being identified this way.
A habitual hetshipper or Spiketard will engage in this behavior on many stories. Some give the impression of just ambling about the site, stumbling now and then on things they dislike, and being a 'tard. Others give the impression of actively searching for this stuff to piss on. As Bookish pointed out, they occasionally demonstrate organized behavior, acting in small packs. Not all people who like Spike or value heteronormative balace fit the term, but I'm sure spiketards gather in spike-positive groups, and hetshippers in straight romance groups. If it helps, think of these assholes as the "bad apples" of these fan groups.
Again, the focus is not on the merit of the story in question on needing or not needing critique. It isn't on the validity of the critique-value of the statements made by these groups. It is the behavior. Even if they did break the site rules, most are persistent and self-preserving enough to figure out how to maintain their behavior while fitting within the rules. The focus is on the typical, general behavior of these individuals.
The terms are useful in discussion of these individuals, often not in direct confrontation within a particular comment section of a story. Engaging with and provoking these assholes would itself be poor behavior within some unlucky author's comments section. But mocking these people for their bad behavior in places elsewhere helps spread awareness of their behavior. So other authors and would-be authors can prepare for their brand of assholery, and dismiss it instead of being put off by it (or, as in a few cases even helped by it by looking at the words analytically).
I figure some people's fascination with spike is because he is one of the few male characters portrayed in a positive light in the show. I guess male fans want some male representation. Nothing wrong with that, though it seems a little whiny considering how many other popular shows struggle just to get even a few female main characters with equal screentime to the male ones. (Where's my black widow movie, Marvel?!)
This reminds me of a group of steven universe fans a while back who complained really really loudly that they wanted male gem characters. They thought it wasn't fair that all but one of the crystal gems were female, despite the fact that the only male gem was the main character: a human/gem hybrid chosen one messiah figure :P
4370230
It isn't laziness, it is efficiency of information transfer. It allows the audience to build reasonable intuition and expectation about situations without the writer having to spell out every little thing. It is a tool.
If we had to both explain how everything is like or unlike reality in said world, that's a lot more work, which makes our works less compact and efficient, which makes it more work to get into them, which would make it harder to get people to read stuff at all because it would require more time and effort.
Indeed, fanfiction itself basically relies on Like The Show Unless Otherwise Noted, which is why it can be such a powerful tool - we have shorthand for a lot of stuff, and already-developed characters. Having to re-establish all of Twilight's characterization or Fluttershy's characterization from the ground up would make short stories a lot longer.
TBH, I find those really easy to avoid, as they're mostly pretty clearly labelled.
I'm just confused where you guys find these people. I don't think I've had a dozen of them between all my stories. I certainly don't spend any more time thinking about them than they do about me, which is to say, pretty much none at all.
Like, I just went through I Can Explain!'s comments and found like one person who was weird about it, and that's a story with over 4k views and over 100 comments. And they weren't even complaining about them being lesbians, they were complaining about how romance between friends was weird and how Applejack and Rarity aren't friends (which... is just baffling, but whatever).
I dunno. It just feels like giving a tiny group of people an undue amount of attention. If they actually harass people, that's against the site rules and they should just be reported. If they just don't like them and leave a random comment... well, is arguing with them really going to help?
Goodness knows I argue with people on the Internet, but at least I enjoy it on some level that may or may not be my latent serial killer tendencies. If they actually upset you, why respond at all?
These people don't really seem worth spending the effort or emotion on. They're the sort of people who you can line up ear to ear when the water main goes out so you can keep the water running until you find a new pipe.
4370602 It IS a stereotype. A lot of lesbians have written some damn good m/m stories. I both have read essays about and known real human lesbian and bisexual women who were really happy to have run across a good Drarry story. As a teenager, maybe it's the first story they've ever read in which two people of the same gender were in love, and that was a big thing. And somehow, good fanfic writers like to write about certain characters who appeal to them.
I have about 25% of a m/m Gothic that I really worked very hard on. I did a lot of research. But it sits in a set of files on my hard drive because I wasn't easy in my mind about fetishizing someone else's life. I worried about exploitation, even though I liked reading romances about two guys getting together in the British navy in the Age of Sail. (Alex Beecroft writes some good ones. She's the Patrick O'Brian of m/m romance. People have actually complained that there are too many technical details, and they wish she'd get down to the juicy stuff.) I have a friend who writes erotica all over the place about everyone. But I still felt weird about it.
Too bad, man. It had a weird old house and ghosts and everything.
4370230
Not predictably enough, they don't!
I swear, when I wrote my ridiculous nonsense story, I specifically put in Spiketard bait and didn't get a single bite! Not one!
So disappointed.
4371152
I can't speak for others, but like you I happen to read a lot. Not necessarily the same things, but probably quite a bit of overlap over the years. As a reminder, we've both been on this site for years now. This blog isn't about a new phenomenon, or one that is terribly important or pressing. It's just a thing I've noticed over those years, here and there, and have used this term now amongst friends for years. I felt like opening up the terminology a bit to others.
I don't agree with Bookish labeling it as harassment. There have been individual cases that could be argued to have been harassment amongst the ones I've seen, and likely were actually handled by site staff. Harassment isn't outside of the realm of behaviors you could expect from these spiketards and hetshippers, but it isn't how they are most of the time else they simply would be a general harassment problem and dealt with.
This isn't a call to arms or tumblr SJW-style "movement" against a silly and unimportant group of miscreants. It's one person, me, who has used some terms over the years to refer to a minor annoyance. This is a random rambling blog on some random pony fanfiction site. It carries as little importance to it as some people posting about their cats. Don't confuse anyone here's motives that it is anything more than that.
4370602
Well, the most natural way that occurs to me to do it would be for the book to sort of magically project a pony that represented it into the real world, and what that looks like would probably change as the book got written in. So what sex it was might vary!
That could get pretty strange, as Twilight writes everything she wants in a date into the book, and it tries to oblige...
Terms can kinda mutate after a while and tend to generalize. One reason I don't really like the term 'spiketard' is with the wrong people, I could see it being applies to anypony who likes Spike or even anypony that doesn't hate Spike. I don't generally like categorizing anypony anyways, though, so my dislike for it could be part of that.
I'm actually pretty bad about leaving comments, good or bad, though. I forget about good ones. As far as critical ones, I don't leave 'em nearly often enough, because I do want them to be constructive, and I tend to end up leaving constructive enough ones that I sometimes get asked about editing the story! And I definitely don't have time for that...
--Sweetie Belle