The Limey Narrator reveals himself · 3:15pm Feb 23rd, 2017
There she is. Our heroine. See how she sleeps, all curled up in a little hollow hidden beneath the roots of a tree. So cute and cuddly… and caked in blood. Oh, she tried taking a bath, but she was exhausted, and not much got cleaned. So now she slumbers, her cheek resting against my scabbard, and she dreams a little dream.
Shēdo dreams of a turtle, or is it a tortoise? I can never quite remember which is which. Anyhow, it is a very handsome turtle tortoise, with the magnificent head of a jackalope, heh, check out my rack! What was I saying? Oh yes, the good-looking head of a jackalope. And then there are four perfect legs, all mismatched. Because, what is life without variety? Shēdo dreams of the most perfect and handsome of all draconequus spawns.
And while my little warlord dreams of draconequus turtle tortoises, I contemplate my own existence, these troubling thoughts that well up within my mind, just as before. There is a nauseating concern for protecting the innocent. Shēdo is innocent. Make no mistake, the adorable little hairball is a killer, but she is innocent. She is the victim. She is the sad, tragic figure. Shēdo is the flawed lump of iron being pounded into the imperfect blade.
The noble draconequus turtle tortoise that she dreams of, he might take pity on her, because, he too, was small and relatively helpless, all things considered. Mocked by his fellow draconequus spawns, they called him worthless and believed him to be a joke. He was met with ridicule and mockery. And contrary to whatever rumours you might hear, he wasn’t so pathetic that he hung around the ancient alicorns with the hopes that they might protect him from the bigger, more brutish examples of his own kind. Just forget about it! That is patently untrue and part of a vast conspiracy, a smear campaign against perfect, handsome draconequus turtle tortoises everywhere!
But I digress. He might take pity on her, but I don’t. No. I will make her strong. I will guide her paw. And just like I have done before, I will shape her into a new warlord. I don’t know what that silly little bookworm did to me, but it aches, oh how it aches. Like Shēdo, I am the flawed lump of draconequus turtle tortoise, and that snotty little filly pounded me into an imperfect blade.
Poor Shēdo… how I wish that I had the means to comfort her…
So much is revealed with a slip of the tongue.
