Review #74 - Worst Princess, Trixie and her wagon will make history!! , Approximately 2000 Words (Mostly!) About Butts · 3:47am Mar 14th, 2017
Well, I've got quite the... interesting... lineup today. And now I need to find something to promote... let's do:
-Captain Blaze - A comedy that is also a serious story. While knowledge of the Wonderverse is recommended, it is not necessary to enjoy this one.
-Cold in Gardez - I'm just gonna link to his user page rather than individual stories. Anyway, a great author that you should read.
-I also found something entertaining on EQD:
Worst Princess by DrakeyC
Trixie and her wagon will make history!! by Brony Philosopher
Approximately 2000 Words (Mostly!) About Butts by Morning Sun
As always, I will put down my recommendations, but I truly hope that you to make the choice on whether to read a fic or not yourself.
Worst Princess by DrakeyC
(Comedy, Random)
A reader's poll in Equestria's leading newspaper rates the Princesses by approval ratings. OOC meta humor ensues as the four discuss the findings.
Review
This one is a meta-humor fic, that can be better if you have followed Equestria Daily for, oh, a long time, as there was a poll that took place there about this subject. However, said poll came after this fic was written (though the results are oddly similar). I guess I should talk about Celestia. Celestia seems to be feeling betrayed, jealous, and somewhat angry. These traits, combined with her sassy reactions, equal a great Celestia for this fic. Now for Luna. Luna on the outside is pretty calm and just wants Celestia to calm down and ignore the poll, but she herself is secretly enjoying being better than Celestia. Cadance's character is simple, as she is, to greatly simplify her, defensive. Twilight is quite the analytical book horse in this one and seriously tries to think out what each princess should have gotten. This one came close but just isn't quite there. The reason for which would end up being the greatest weakness.
And the greatest weakness would be that it all seems a bit forced. The interactions with each other don't flow as well as they could, and since the comedy comes from the characters, it suffers in that area.
Recommendation: Recommended. (Now, this isn't anything worth reading more than twice because it gets old, but it is still pretty good).
Trixie and her wagon will make history!! by Brony Philosopher
(Adventure, Comedy, Drama)
Trixie will travel from Ponyville to Appleloosa, and she'll stop at nothing for her to make one the finest shows that she can offer. An adventure will await for all of those who dare to read this. For this will be about... The Great and Powerful Trixie!!! (There will be no true present or past tense in this AMAZING STORY!!!)
Review
Um, what? What is this thing? It's a comedic adventure, but what? I cannot tell if this is the author telling a story with Trixie interrupting every so often, Trixie telling a story, or Trixie living a story. I'm gonna go with the first one. There is no way I'm ever going to be able to talk about Trixie, and I'm not even sure if I can talk about other things. Like how I liked the idea of Trixie's adventures in the Everfree, but it could use some TLC for the text, as it has some errors. Nothing too major, but it can be a little jarring. Also, there are 104 uses of Trixie in the story. That's right, one-hundred and four. Yeah, it gets a bit repetitive after about forty of them. Another thing, this time directed at the author. What in Celestia's cutiemark is Trixie doing in the Everfree? She starts in Ponyville, which is south of the Everfree, and is travels to Appeloosa, which is south of Ponyville. Why would she go north through the Everfree if the town is south? Where did I get my degree for Equestrian geography?
Anyway, besides the obvious plot holes, this one's greatest weakness has to do with pacing. This story had the potential to be this epic 30k+ word adventure about Trixie in the Everfree, but it uses, by my guesstimate, 950 words.
Recommendation: Not Recommended. (Without some major editing, or a re-write into something longer, this one just isn't that great).
Approximately 2000 Words (Mostly!) About Butts by Morning Sun
(Comedy, Random)
The title says it all, dear reader. This is a story primarily about Pony bottoms. And some other things, like cats. But mostly bottoms.
Review
I would have to name this one a slice of life fic, with random, comedic elements scattered throughout. This one is a first-person narration, which means there is no character to analyze. I guess I just talk about random things. This one gets boring at around words 1000, which is really annoying since it made me want to give up reading it. It was only through great determination to finish every fic I start that I read the end, and man was it worth it. The ending is perhaps one of the greatest I have ever read. Another thing I feel like mentioning, I only find fourteen, 14, mentions of butt, booty, plot, flank, rump, posterior, and bottom in all 2000-ish words. Oh, one last thing before the weakness. The comedy in this one comes mostly in subtle ways, which gives me the impression the author would be good at horror fics. Morning Sun, y u no rite horror? Also, I just realized, this fic could have become an amazing horror fic with only minor editing...
Anyway, I gotta get this thing moving. The greatest weakness has to do with how slice of life-y it is, as it gets extremely mundane about halfway through it. There's set up, then boring stuff, then comedy, then some dark/ horror/ comedy. So, yeah, just hold out through this middle of this one, and you won't be disappointed.
Recommendation: Worth Reading/ Recommended. (If you can get through the slight boringness, this is amazing writing. Also, that last line is epic).
Yeah, CiG and Skywriter are both "Read them all" authors.
Actually, no it wasn't. I didn't specifically base the poll on anything Equestria Daily did. I just called the paper that as a joke, the fic was all about the fandom's perceptions of the four characters and having fun with jokey commentary over it. While I'm sure EqD has done this poll before, this fic has nothing to do with such a poll. The ending joke was just the four reversing the "worst" idea on the paper in petty revenge, and not a jab at EqD, either.
Also, Luna's schtick was that she pretended to be above it but really wasn't - note how quickly she began bickering once the tables were turned against her, and she kept noting her percentage rating while simultaneously insisting she doesn't care about it.
So, yea, there's a reason 2,000 is so random : It was for a writing contest, I had writer's block, and I suggested to another author I write '2000 words about butts' as a joke. They told me to go for it. So I did. And as a result it's pure rambling stream of consciousness. Like, that bit about cats? Yea, that was my actual cat coming to bug me for petting.
I'm glad you liked it! As for not writing horror, well - I do do a lot of darkfic, it's just not published.
Though I admit I am softest for Gnosis among my 3 published works (Seeing it end up in To Reviewed is what made me hit the follow button!) and am still waiting to see your reaction to that. That one is a fun one!
And on butts? The idea there is the narrator is unreliable and a little insane. Is he (or she???) right? I don't know! Maybe they just needed help. Medical help. Maybe.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-uj5l0C_W9Ps/Vh9gxWnaXKI/AAAAAAAAA98/kYLCGxpkHmI/s1600/eq_map.jpg
And I really need an real editor
At least it has not true past or present tense
4455437
Well, close nuff? Surprisingly, the poll that was there about a month later actually did have fairly close results, but I'll still edit this a bit in the morning.
4455450
Lols.
Publish them!!
I'll have to get to that now.
Naw, it's totes how it seems in the story.
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Edited...
4455513 By a pre-reader. I've never actually had a real editor work on it, that's why I depended on people's comments, which no one replied
4455450
I remember that one!
One of the few competitions I took part in before life pulled me (kicking and screaming) away from the scene.
4455437
Alright, it has been edited. Let me know if there's anything else.
4455513
The only thing that was used interchangeably was shall and will, this is because she has a hard time telling the difference between future tense and command tense.
Question, how does one make a story without confusing the reader? Because I have ADD and no matter how hard I try people don't understand my original/creative/messy style of writing. I was going for future/command tense narrated from Trixie to herself and the audience, if you get my drift. Every pronoun and tense usage has a meaning with which might've been the thing that confused you in the first place
If you don't get it, that's okay. I got like super high comprehension yet somehow not good at making straightforward stories and sentences. It's the reason why most of the lines are short and the stories stunted, to stop it from becoming something like a three-part trilogy
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Wow. This makes me feel old. Anyway, to answer your question, I have absolutely no clue. I'm very sorry, but, I just don't know.
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I prefer the term well aged
Don't worry, maybe I just need a person who really gets me, so.... Good luck to me with that I suppose
Also, that's a clever username, never thought the bible could turn into a meme
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Ya know, you are the second person to comment on my username being bible-related. While I am, indeed, a Christian, it did not come from the bible. It’s my name, a lowercase “L,” and then... then a number I figuratively pulled out of a hat.
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Do you know what the verse is?
“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.”
I thought that was supposed to mean to follow your account and fish for others to follow too
What else should I expect from a reviewer from... SEATTLE'S ANGELS!!!