MLP The Movie (1986), a few comments · 1:25am Apr 1st, 2017
So a few months ago I sat down and tried to watch the original MLP movie from 1986. I was curious about G1 as before G4 I never had any motivation to even bother with it.
In short, it did not go well.
Now, let me qualify a few things here. I was definitely NOT the target audience as I'm male and in '86, I was 15. If you are new here, back in '86, MLP was most definitely aimed at little girls (and their parent's money). That being said, I've always loved animation so I've always been willing to watch a lot of quality-questionable stuff and things that were never intended for me in the first place.
But this.... was pretty bad. This was a new level of ouch for me. I just couldn't make it through it. It would have required me to consume lethal levels of beer to make it through. I just didn't feel like doing that; I like my liver too much.
I watched it mostly on (very) fast-forward.
Why?
Oh, the plot was pretty reasonable for a typical 1980's 90-ish minute toy commercial. Sure, the world-building was crude, but I can't hold that against them, it fit the mold of the times. I grew up on 60's, 70s', and 80's TV, this wasn't anything different.
Animation? Straight up, middle of the road 1980's animation. It was no better or worse than other things of this caliber.
Character design? It wasn't good for me, but a lot of kids did like it, so I'm willing to admit I'm not a G1 fan, but a lot of folks were and still are.
The songs? Eh. They were mediocre at best. They could have been better. I mean, I'm completely spoiled by Mr. Ingram, but I'm not trying to compare then to now. I'm trying to compare then to then. And, wow, for the '80s, those were some forgettable songs. The Smooze song was the only thing that was even remotely catchy. I mean come on! You're making a cartoon for kids while trying to sell toys! If you come up with a few catchy songs, it helps the kids remember the show and helps you sell your toys! That's basic marketing! But this just didn't have anything I could imagine kids humming or singing after it was over. Not cool, guys. Not cool.
Voice Actors? OK, now here we go, something positive! They had some big-name actors such as Cloris Leachman, Tony Randall, Danny Devito, Rhea Perlman, and Madeline Kahn. And they did a wonderful job with their acting. I mean, these were big names back in '86. (And they are still big names. If you don't know know them I recommend googling them. Homework!) So, how does they not make this a good movie?
So where does that leave us. Ah, yes, the smoking gun... the script. It wasn't bad, it was horrible.
So what was wrong with it?
Everything.
They had a plot but didn't know how to sell it. It was rushed. It was hard to follow. They didn't know how to bring their characters to life. And dialog... oh, I still shudder at that. The script the actors were given was abysmal. They had these great comedic actors and gave them a complete crap-tastic script. It was dull, it was forced, it was un-funny, and it was not worth it. The final product was just terrible.
I mean, they had to spend bank to get those named actors, so why invest all that money unless they were going to give them a script that was worth while. Sure, the script was aimed at 5-10 year-olds, but still that money was still an investment in a product aimed to bring a return. The script felt like an insult. (Personally, I think some studio exec said, "hey, about this horse-toy movie-thing. Go get some "A-list" stars for it to help sell it to the kiddos' parents. What? no script? Eh, worry about that later. Go get that talent!" At least, that's how I envision it.)
I really feel sorry for the parents of the kids who did fall in love with this movie who watched it over, and over, and over, and....
So where does this leave me/us with all of this? Overall, the original MLP movie isn't very good and is very dated, but it's important to us. Most of us are here because of G4 (guilty!) but all the generations before us laid the ground work and it's always good to know your history. They've brought back Tirek and Smooze, and I'm sure there's other early stuff I'm not even aware of. (Yes, I know Spike has always been there.) They may bring back more. And I hope they bring back more. It's fun to re-visit stuff that's come before and then see it updated. That's fun!
So, my recommendation is, if you are curious about the original movie, grab a few beers and a few friends, even if they don't like MLP (you may need to up the bribe beyond beer and add pizza) and make it a good night of movie abuse. But do not sit there and watch it straight through by yourself, it's just not worth it. If you are like me, curious about the plot, the characters, and the world of G1, you're better off with wiki searches and videos from YouTube.
G1 MLP was pretty dark and just a little messed up.
And it was supposed to be darker, but Optimus Prime died, and Duke had to go into a coma, and they had to tone back the darkness in MLP because it was targeted at girls.
The ponies straight up murdered a fair number of their villains du jour.
Some of the other films are better, like Return to Castle Midnight.
4479060
I still remember paying my money to see the first run of Transformers The Movie and watching Optimus Prime die. And then, in the same film, we heard Spike yell, "Oh, shit!" as he and Bumble Bee were sucked into Unicron's maw. That was so NOT a kids movie.
It was awesome!
4479063
The fucks and shits have all been edited out of that movie on the newest releases.
4479075
All I remember from the first run was, "Oh, shit!" and "Open, damnit! Open!"
If there was more, it wasn't in the cut I saw in the theater.