My Little Pony: The Runaway Rainbow (Review) · 6:39pm Jun 15th, 2017
Alright, I'm back from a break, let's talk about more G3 crap. I've now gotten to the point where I'm not reviewing them from memory anymore, and instead watching them and reviewing them immediately afterwards. Due to this change, I can take notes while watching it and remember more details. As a result, these next reviews will have a style more akin to the Nostalgia Critic. Now I can actually make jokes! Also, I accidentally posted this one before it was finished and had to delete it. The new layout confused me, and I was trying to hit preview. I know, it was stupid. Anyway, onto my longest review by far.
My Little Pony: The Runaway Rainbow (Review)
With the exception of Twinkle Wish Adventure, this is the G3 special I knew the least about going into it. Knowing how forgettable these things are, that'll be the case again in a few months. In terms of characters, there are new ones, but they weren't properly introduced, so you'll be just as lost as me when I mention them. So this one starts off the same way as literally every other special. Ponies are doing girly things with absolutely no charm. Truly this is brilliant and original. They're apparently preparing for... another festival. Why does every one of these have one? I though Friendship is Magic had a lot, but every single special I've reviewed has had them preparing for something. This will also be the case for The Princess Promenade, I know for certain A Charming Birthday and Positively Pink did it, and I think Come Back, Lily Lightly did it too. This is a terrible idea. With so many celebrations, I will forget them easily. Or at least more easily than normal. What about this one? Something about rainbows, shooting stars, and a princess.
Then we get exposition, another reoccurring problem, and then someone gets mud on her hoof. The horror. They solve that problem with a soap bubble fight. First of all, where did they get those? Second of all, overkill much? Third of all, obvious joke. After that, we go to Unicornia AKA slightly less terrible version of Unicornicopia. It took me a while to figure out that this was a completely different area with different ponies, which is a problem because that's something you need to know for this story to make sense. Anyway, some ponies come into a castle and mention that they have 63 ribbons when they need 65. Is this important? No, it's never resolved, or even mentioned again. I have no clue why it was there. Rarity (who's a kid here) is being taught about the importance of being a Rainbow Princess and doing rainbow things with a magic wand. However, she's distracted by a caterpillar. Seriously. In fact, I think if it weren't for that, this special wouldn't have happened. Something also to note here as that a lot of times, Rarity sounds like a higher-pitched G4 Spike. Weird. Cheerilee teaches her to use this magic wand thing, and demonstrates a special twirl that causes her silver carriage to show up. It doesn't actually happen though, for some reason, which is disappointing because it would've been funny if it crashed through the castle and killed everyone. Meanwhile, we're shown the breezies. One of them is named Tra la la, so I'm calling her Captain Underpants. She's allergic to flowers, yet she keeps sniffing them. That's her personality. She somehow sneezes so hard that it knocks the breezies out of their home.
Then we get a song about rainbows. It's lyrics are strange and repetitive. It even mentions a purple sunset once. During it, some ponies ask Rainbow Dash how rainbows are made. No, I'm not making that joke. She doesn't know, despite supposedly knowing everything about rainbows, and yet later she says she does know. I'm confused. Then, when they ask about how rainbows are made again, she says some things shouldn't be known. Uh, you're making that joke way too easy you know! After the song ends, we go back to the castle, where Rarity gets distracted and throws her wand in the air, causing it and her to disappear. Unfortunately, she doesn't die. Instead, she teleports to the breezies by accident, and falls from a height that should at least injure her, but she only shows sign of pain when the wand lands on her head. This raises several questions. Why does a wand for this celebration have a teleportation ability? Why does it teleport randomly? Why does it activate by throwing the wand? Or is it just a malfunction? If so, it's a rather consistent malfunction, since it happens again, later. Also, what are the chances of it being nice enough to send her to a nearby place where help is? And if you thought that was convenient, the second time it happens, it doesn't move her at all! And why didn't she consider doing it again to see if it teleports her back? AND WHY AM I QUESTIONING THE LOGIC OF G3?!
Anyways, now that she's lost, she can't do certain things, meaning there might not be rainbows. That's called a thin conflict. The unicorns aren't even worried about her being lost, just the rainbow thing, so why should I care? Now the breezies take her to Ponyville, where she... eats an entire cake. And the adult ponies let her. Huh? In fact, characters being neglectful of children seems to be a theme in this special, since guess how this problem started in the first place? Then we get a Big Lipped Alligator Moment in the form of a terrible song. Seriously, this is the worst musical number in all of G3, and considering the sock song from A Very Minty Christmas exists, that's saying something! It serves no purpose in the story, is sung in the background like with A Strange New World, is all over the place, has terrible lyrics (You're worried about people knowing you're not perfect? It's a good thing that's not incredibly obvious-oh wait!), and Rarity's singing voice is horrible. First of all, it's obviously sung by someone else and not her voice actor, and yet it's still bad! I'm pretty sure she talk-sings a lot of the time, and her voice is just plain annoying. After that... atrocity in the name of music, the ponies visit Spike to have him help find Unicornia. There, we learn that there are many castles that seem like discount Elements of Harmony. Do any of the ones that aren't from Unicornia appear in this generation? Probably not. Anyway, Spike tells them where to go and they go on their journey.
While they're traveling, we see at one point that they're walking with their eyes closed. I think they were sleepwalking. Anyway, Rarity acts like an idiot (again), the ponies aren't able to keep an eye on her (again), so she falls into a river. Some of the other ponies manage to fall in too, and we cut to the breezies... playing with a beehive. With no bees. This is stupid. Anyway, they notice the trouble, and rescue two of the ponies, but they don't rescue Rarity. No reason why couldn't, the rest of the ponies just had to improvise with luggage for some reason. After that pointless conflict, they camp out for the night, and coincidentally enough, the unicorns were looking for her too and camped out very close to them. They even both have fires. And they don't notice each other! Also, Ponyville's group starts roasting marshmallows. Between this, the child neglect, and the Rainbow Factory, I'm starting to think G3 is a dystopian society. Anyway, the breezies go to sleep in some flowers, where one of them asks another if she's awake. She says she isn't. ... Anyway, Cheerilee decides to stay up. Why? So she could sing a "distant" duet with Rarity, who suddenly starts singing better this once. This song is actually okay, but I don't like how it beats you over the head with irony. They're singing about wanting to find each other, and like I mentioned, they're very close to each other. Also, boo-hoo is a song lyric. That's dumb. And when the song ends, it just holds on a shot with no sound for a few seconds longer necessary, and it's kind of distracting.
Eventually, Rainbow Dash wakes up (still in the night for some reason) and notices the color from her mane is going away and she freaks out. I would complain about her overreaction, but it probably does suck to lose your entire personality. This is due to the fact that time is running out, and Rarity needs to do her thing soon. Then someone finally realizes that the unicorns are right there, and Rarity reunites with them, and despite not paying attention at the time, remembers how to use the wand. She makes the silver carriage appear, and for some reason, she needs the wand to open the door. Everyone boards and flies off to the castle, and Rarity is somehow an expert at using the wand now. Also, she goes at a speed that should make everyone throw up at one point. When they arrive, though, all of the rainbows are disappearing and Rainbow Dash now has the coloration of Trixie. I have so many questions, but I've stopped caring. Rarity uses the wand, but it's too late. THE END. Actually, that's not the case (unfortunately), because Cheerilee and Rarity own up to their mistakes and that somehow makes it work again. Can you say Deus Ex Machina? After the rainbows reappear, we get another bad song sung by Rarity, the special ends, and I still don't care.
Admittedly, I wasn't bored watching this one, but I'm pretty sure that was only because I was taking notes the entire time. It isn't as bad as some of the other ones, but it still has the same problems as the other specials, the conflict was low-key, and the "adventure" contained almost nothing of interest. Ponies fell into the river, then they slept. That was the adventure. Needless to say, this was yet another terrible G3 special. I literally have nothing else to say. Other than that I'm still waiting for me to understand what's happening in any of these specials.
To be perfectly honest, I don't like how this one came out. I wanted to add more comedy, but I ended up making very few jokes due to the lack of material G3 gives me. It's just too much of me rambling on about every detail while only occasionally landing a joke.