Closets are dark. And lonely. I think it's time I left it then. · 4:40am Jul 17th, 2017
Hey guys, it's been a while, how's everyone doing?
Good to hear, but hey, pull up a chair, I got something to get off my chest, and it's something I want to share with all of you.
Seeing as I'm about a quarter of the way through my life, and most everyone I've met on here is chill on some deep fucking level, I feel like I can trust that y'all have everyone's best interests at heart. Which is why I'm gonna get on a level that most of you never knew or saw.
I'm just gonna let the world know who I am and that really, being afraid of being who you are? If anything taught us that it's okay to be whoever you want it'd be this show.
But I digress.
I'm not going to write fifty pages of emoti-blog like I have been prone to doing in the past, sometimes my words just run away from me and the sentences pile up. I just feel like, at the point I am in my life, I owe it to myself to be true to me and live it to the fullest. If I don't accept myself and embrace it now, I may never do it.
A couple years back, I made some confessions on a group here on the site that really helped me relax in my online persona life, and now I'm getting more catharsis just letting it all go, because really, if the types of stories I write and read and help with are any indication, I've got enough flags waving over my head by now.
They look kinda like this:
Yep. You see that correctly.
You all know me from the last four years by my online persona, a name I chose by chance and hilarious coincidence, Dash The Stampede. My friends in the physical world call me Dash as well, they have for so many years now. But only a scant few really knew, really felt trustworthy enough to me that I could spill and not feel afraid of who I am. Those true friends call me Alice. I know I still have some IRL friends that follow me here that might get a shock from this but I want you all to know I'm still the same old Dash, yer go-to-pal-wishin'-he-was-a-gal for random comedy or transformation smut, I just might have a little more bubble in my words when I type, a little bit more sensitivity and emotional shit, but still the same ol friend you always knew. This is something I've wanted to get off my chest for a long time now, and I feel silly that really four years into the fandom I still hadn't just told all my wonderful friends and fimfamily here. I was wearing a mask, really, and I hated to wear it. I'm glad to take it off now.
I'm sure some of you might have always seen this coming, or maybe not. Still doesn't change who I am, or who I've always been. Just means I go by a different name sometimes, to the right people :V
I'm nervous as all hell typing this up and the negative thoughts keep coming back with my anxiety but I'm stronger than I was three years ago and know I can face the challenge proudly now. Even though I sorta missed Pride month. Ah well, should be every month!
Goddesses, it feels so much better just letting the real me be known.
Hey, guys, Thanks.
Glad we could have this lil' chat. 
Peace and Love for all!
~Dash
Bravo, dear Dashie. Bravo. It took great testicular fortitude to express your desire of testicular forfeiture. I'm proud of you.
Seriously. I'm proud of you.
Congratulations, and good luck. I don't really have much more to say, I do know how it is to get rid of a dark cloud that hangs over your head because you're too afraid to talk about it.
4603934
Oh my gods that's gonna be a pull-quote at some point :V
I was frightened I'd be rejected, but really, on a site filled with adults writing smut about ponies that were cartooned up for lil girls? I should feel right at home :V
4603936
Just knowing that I haven't lost you as a follower is enough to mean the world :D
I have no idea what that flag means, but I believe I understand your message nevertheless. Here's to more happy fun times on here, sista.
4603941
It's the transgender flag, so by your terminology, you're correct! :V Thank you for the kind words!
4603938
Meh. I have my moments. And you need not fear rejection from me for, as a reject myself, I reject nothing. Well... I reject the laws of physics. They're just so boring.
Well, nice to know the real you, Alice.
4603955
So nice to meet you too~!
4603938
You write stories I enjoy, I'd give some speech about "What's on the inside that counts" but despite the site we're on I don't like to speak in kid's show morals. Keep doing what you do.
MFW
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Congratulations on being yourself!
(You're now the third trans pegasister I know named Alice. Huh.)
4603964
Thanks, been a champion at it since '93
But seriously, Thank you. :D
(That's kinda crazy but awesome coincidence!)
Pleasure to meet you Alice ^^ I'd Maddie. Funny coincidence but my initials are MLP
4603983
You're soooo lucky~! Basically set your destiny huh?
It's wonderful letting my true self be seen now. Thank you, Maddie
4603986
Something like that Yeah ^^ My husband enjoys teasing me about it often including the fact that the first toy I chose as an infant was a orange pony rattle.
Good for you, glad you finally got that off your chest. I was slightly taken aback, as I also know a trans girl named Alice, and was slightly weirded out because she has publicly stated she doesn't like MLP, and the odds of my digital and IRL worlds meeting unintentionally are small enough to make you go "woah, that's wierd."
But good for you!
4603995
It is quickly becoming apparent that I chose a rather common transgirl name
And here I thought it would be uncommon, but with the whole Alice in wonderland schtick, makes sense really. We're in our wonderland when we discover who we truly are. And now my wonderland is mixing with reality and it's amazing.
As I said to my college friend when he came out as trans:
Lifestyle or recreational?
That's really the only concern on my end, because the concerns surrounding the whole thing differ based on the answer. That and... you know, kinda relating, to a degree.
4604185
I currently live with my parents for expense purposes, and I haven't quite gotten that open with them just yet that I could start making serious lifestyle changes. If I was responsible enough to handle myself on my own with expenses and bills and rents, I'd most definitely be living as the woman I feel I am, I'm just constrained by reality, sadly.
I can at least take solace in the fact that by opening up about it and showing that it's really more than 'just a phase', I'm getting closer to my goal of being seen as Alice all the time.
And in the future, when money might be more plentiful, and my mind more on-track, I'd love more than anything to just drop whatever I've saved and really transition.
So I guess it's that I'm doing what I can to feel comfortable in my own body, and unfortunately due to constraints realistically, it's only little things... Keeping both wardrobes out in the same closet, sometimes choosing capris instead of jeans, little things. I so very badly want it to be everything, but I just can't afford or sustain it right now
4604196
Thought as much. Hope you find happiness, then, one way or the other.
4604219
Not just seen, I'd want everything to be. I know I'll probably never afford it all but I can dream. And I can hope beyond hope.
Thank you for the kind words :D
4604225
If you need help on the mental side of things, visualisation and self-hypnosis... it's been a while, but you know where to turn
As for the anxiety angle and rejection... gotta be totally honest, I'm not a hundred percent okay with the whole thing. But it's a personal matter, a question of principle and faith, and I won't attack anyone on it, certainly not you. It's complicated, and explaining it adequately requires some resources that aren't available yet.
4604243
I have a dedicated resource for anxiety-related issues and concerns. I'm finally, at last starting to solve the issues in my head, and hence why I felt open enough to post this to my meager followers list.
I certainly appreciate the offer of assistance, more support columns doesn't make the building less sturdy eh?
I support you and everyone in being free to express consistent gender identifications including when they contradict the physical body. However, I do think you could have done much better in your "coming out" post. Although I and other readers were able to identify your meaning through context, you never actually "come out" and say it!
I trust that the next time you publicly reveal your one true gender for the first time ever, you'll be careful to be more explicit.
4612114
Oh, sorry, I wasn't feeling confident enough at time of posting to do that.
Here goes.
HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT?! I'M TRANSGENDER!
4614250
ok cool that you feel confident enough to say it both in a flag (witch i had never seen so completely missed the meaning) and with words
Grats. Takes all types and I'm glad you're comfortable enough to be chill with it. Well done. Live your life how you see fit, you're the only expert on being you that will ever matter.