Finals! · 6:48pm Dec 4th, 2017
So, here's the deal. I finally finished what I had to turn in for my video final technically this morning, and the week leading up to today was a rough one. Things just didn't go well, the longer the video went unfinished, the more depressed about it I got, and then suddenly other projects I wish I'd been told about were 'due,' and I'm currently working on those. On Saturday, depression reached a critical point and I couldn't bring myself to do anything.
I'm a pretty stoic person. I get all my emotions out by doing artsy stuff like writing and drawing, so unless I'm just screwing around with friends, the only thing I ever usually show alone is anger. I ended up writing a poem while trying to keep myself from just breaking down and crying, and after I wrote it and read it back to myself, I almost thought it looked like a suicide note. There's not a thing in the world that I look on with more disgust than the idea of killing one's self, and for something like that to come out of me was just... deplorable. So in the end, I just put everything away and went to sleep.
I wanted to finish the chapter I had half written, but there was no way anything good could've come from writing in that state. That said, I'm going to focus explicitly on finals until they end. There's a higher than not chance I'll write at some point after I return home, but who knows if I'll do that, so I won't promise anything.
Anyways, that's all I have for today, I just wanted to get that out there.
Until Next Time~
-KCZ
