Hello everyone.

Hey guys, I need to vent.
You ever get the feeling that you're so disconnected from yourself that you no longer feel like you?
Like you've gone somewhere entirely new yet it's all the same?
How you speak to family and friends all the time, but it never feels like you talk to them.
I think Robert Louis Stevenson knew what he was talking about, the whole id thing. I mean I think I'm me it just doesn't feel right you know like there was a massive switch-over at some point maybe to cope or maybe to I don't know.
That important things like my mom slowly leave me, barely leaving a feint imprint in the sand but mere hours later it's been washed away by the tide leaving nothing in it's wake.
I've started to notice that small things let me keep a grip like simple patterns in my routines, being with my cat, talking to people online through my persona my id would you have it.
But I feel as if I've lost myself while embracing the freedom I've gained through said persona and just become the antithesis of what I was.
Ironically It's funny that I only really now get why my persona where's a mask, it's because he was never there, just a way to front myself away from the harshness of it all.
Sorry if this made no sense at all, I can't bring myself to read through it all because I'd probably delete it all in frustration