In Which I Beg for Sweet Release From Breaking Dawn: Chapter 7 -- Unexpected · 10:49am Jun 28th, 2018
Bella has another dream about the immortal child, again with the Volturi coming for him, only this time she feels powerful and wants to protect him. Why? ’Cause he’s purty? Didn’t you hear about all the destruction they could cause? The Volturi are trying to keep vampires secret and keep humans from hunting them down. It’s not like they’re stomping around, going, “No fun allowed!” It’s like they’re trying to keep you from skating somewhere because that somewhere is a minefield. When she wakes up, she finds a note from Edward; he’s gone to the mainland to hunt.
Feeling hungry, Bella fries herself some chicken, but it tastes bad for some unfathomable reason. She abruptly feels tired again and goes back to sleep. She wakes up when Edward returns, only to have to run to the bathroom to puke. She attributes it to the food poisoning. She begins searching through her suitcase for a first-aid kit and finds a box of tampons. She does some math and realizes her period is five days late. She’s barely into adulthood; should her periods be that predictable? When Edward asks her what’s wrong, she thinks for a bit, puts some dots together regarding her symptoms, and realizes she’s pregnant. Vampires have sperm?
Out of reflex, she looks down, and sees a small-but-definitely-there bump between her hips. She thinks back to the vampire research she did in the first book and recalls legends of incubi. Rosalie had said that vampires couldn’t conceive, but Bella realizes that vampire bodies are frozen when they’re turned, and a body needs to change in order to bear a child. She puts a hand on the bump and feels something push her from the inside. VAMPIRES HAVE SPERM?
The phone rings; Edward’s not moving, so Bella gets it. It’s Alice, looking for Edward, but he’s still unresponsive. At Bella’s request, Alice gives the phone to Carlisle, and Bella tells him that she’s pregnant. Edward suddenly snaps out of it and asks to talk to Carlisle; they have a brief discussion, and the moment he hangs up, Edward says they’re going home. VAMPIRES HAVE SPERM?!
Edward packs too fast for Bella to be of much help, so she simply looks out at the ocean and wonders what’s up with him. She doesn’t see anything wrong. Even the fact that she’s already visibly pregnant she treats as unusual rather than a problem.
I hoped he would have Edward’s face exactly, with no interference from mine.
From that first little touch, the whole world had shifted. Where before there was just one thing I could not live without, now there were two.
I wanted [the child] like I wanted air to breathe. Not a choice — a necessity.
CM + 3
By the time Edward finishes packing, he’s crying. And he has a few choice words to say about the situation.
He pulled me against his chest. “Don’t be afraid. We’ll be home in sixteen hours. You’ll be fine. Carlisle will be ready when we get there. We’ll take care of this, and you’ll be fine, you’ll be fine.”
“Take care of this? What do you mean?”
He leaned away and looked me in the eye. “We’re going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you. Don’t be scared. I won’t let it hurt you.”
…WHAT? Holy SHIT! Talking to your own wife about her baby that way? For Pete’s sake, do you have any sort of tact? And you’re already planning an abortion without her consent? OH JESUS.
This is only gonna get worse, isn’t it?
In a plot contrivance, the cleaning people arrive. Edward quickly goes to handle them; Kaure, the superstitious woman, has made them dinner as a way to make sure Edward hasn’t killed Bella yet. However, the smell makes Bella gag, almost vomit. She puts her hand over her belly in a reflex to make sure the baby is safe. Kaure notices this, is shocked, and gets into an argument with Edward in Portuguese. Bella doesn’t understand most Portuguese, but between the gestures and what little she does know, she realizes that, in Kaure’s legends, the child of a vampire kills the woman when it’s born. Here’s hoping.
Edward says it’s only legends, but Bella denies understanding anything. She asks him to pack some more food, just in case she gets hungry again. Once he’s gone, Bella calls Rosalie and pleads for help.
Clinginess Meter: 21
This is the future of the book, is it? The future does not look bright. I guess the oncoming train has its light turned off.
Perhaps more pertinently, it's only been a few days? Nothing should be moving or showing???
God, yes.
I hope they were able to find a decent parking spot for it. Those things never quite seem to fit in anywhere.
So not only do vampires have sperm, they have magic turbo-sperm that accelerate fetal development by a ludicrous degree. And going by the "vampire bodies are unchanging" thing, Edward's testes logically only have the specimens that were ready to go when he turned, which means that he hasn't done anything past a certain point between then and now.
Just so we're clear on the insanity on display. Also, I'm not sure if I'd listen to a band called Magic Turbo-Sperm, but I might consider it.
My reaction:
You know, this reminds me of Vampire the Masquerade, except in this case, the vampire actually has to will themselves to say, get a boner cause, well, they're dead, and even then its rarely pleasurable for them