In Which I Beg for Sweet Release From Breaking Dawn: Chapter 22 -- Promised · 10:41am Jul 13th, 2018
As Bella and Edward run back to the house, she asks him to tell her about (bleelalgh) Renesmee. It’s the boringness of perfection: she’s wonderful, she’s about a half-and-half split between a vampire and a human, she sleeps soundly, she prefers to drink blood although she can eat human food, and she communicates effectively even though she doesn’t speak yet. Well. Isn’t that convenient. However, Edward’s frustrated over Jacob imprinting on (ghghghgh) Renesmee, but he manages to hide that fact from Bella.
Just as they arrive, Jacob comes out to meet them, to see if Bella can hold off on attacking him first. He’s friendly and relaxed thanks to imprinting on (jeelkh) Renesmee HOLY SHIT DID I JUST TYPE “THANKS TO IMPRINTING ON RENESMEE” MOTHERFUCKER and Bella can now smell him the same way vampires do: namely, he stinks like a wet dog. Everyone’s relieved and/or amused by this, but Bella’s distracted when she hears her daughter’s heartbeat.
I couldn’t see her — the light bounced off the reflective windows like a mirror. I could only see myself, looking very strange — so white and still — next to Jacob. Or, compared to Edward, looking exactly right.
CM + 1
Bella finally sees (khalg) Renesmee, who’s already more than newborn; in the few days since her birth, she’s grown to look a few months old, and Bella can see intelligence in her eyes. Edward tells the Cullens about Bella not eating the hikers during their hunt, and although Carlisle’s miffed at Edward’s irresponsibility, everyone fawns over her for two whole pages. It’s boring. This convinces them that she has control over herself. Bella’s allowed to hold (juulkh) Renesmee, who puts her hand to Bella’s face. Bella sees herself as she was shortly after birth. Renesmee is gifted; when she touches someone, she’s able to show them her thoughts, and she was letting Bella know that she knew who she was. Renesmee can’t speak yet, so that’s convenient. Bella is relieved to know that fighting for (clahlk) Renesmee was worth it, but clinginess spoils the moment.
Renesmee was real and I knew her. She was the same one I’d fought for from the beginning. My little nudger, the one who loved me from the inside, too. Half Edward, perfect and lovely. And half me — which, surprisingly, made her better rather than detracting.
CM + 1
Jacob’s overly protective of the little dhampyr, which annoys Bella. She wonders what could have changed his behavior, especially since he doesn’t seem to mind being around vampires anymore. She quickly realizes that he’s imprinted on (flark) Renesmee and spends two pages yelling at him for doing so, as if it was his choice. Still, at least she gets how squicky it is. Jacob protests that now they can be a family without him competing with Edward, but Bella’s not hearing it.
“C’mon, Bells! Nessie likes me, too,” he insisted.
I froze. My breathing stopped. Behind me, I hear the lack of sound that was their anxious reaction.
“What… did you call her?”
Jacob took a step farther back, managing to look sheepish. “Well,” he mumbled, “that name you came up with is kind of a mouthful and-”
“You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?” I screeched.
And then I lunged for his throat.
You know what? “Nessie” is kind of a cute name. It’s not great, but it’s a bazillion times better than “Renesmee”. You know what else? I’m exclusively using that name from now on. She’s not Renesmee. She’s Nessie. Even when I quote the book, I’m changing her name. Because fuck “Renesmee”.
And, yes, the chapter does end with Bella attacking Jacob.
Clinginess Meter: 46 x 4
Chapters Left: 17
I think I’ve figured out one way how there’s so much padding: everything gets oh-so-slightly over-described. Meyer thinks we need to know everything about the scene, so everything gets described. Touches, smells, temperature, feelings, gestures, expressions, everything. There’s no blanks to fill in. It’s like she’s describing the way a movie set should look, rather than trying to create a feeling for the scene or only including the important parts. To be honest, I think this is a problem I have as well; I have a very clear image on what the throne room (for example) should look like and I want the reader to see that throne room, so I describe all of it. In short: hooray! Finally something truly new that I can apply to my writing!
Also, who said the Loch Ness Monster was a bad thing to share a nickname with? Here, look at this kickass mofo:
i.pinimg.com/736x/39/ee/66/39ee66041d47f3fda9cd768e0e2a9a67--dragon-artwork-creature-fantasy.jpg
And if kickassness isn’t your thing, it can be cute, too!
res.cloudinary.com/teepublic/image/private/s--0d2Qy-bD--/c_crop,x_10,y_10/c_fit,h_680/c_crop,g_north_west,h_972,w_1127,x_-248,y_-147/l_misc:transparent_1260/fl_layer_apply,g_north_west,x_-314,y_-289/c_mfit,g_north_east,u_misc:tapestry-l-l-gradient/e_displace,fl_layer_apply,x_0,y_19/l_upload:v1507037316:production:blanks:knoqtwkqk9vucfsy8ke0/fl_layer_apply,g_north_west,x_0,y_0/b_rgb:262c3a/c_limit,f_jpg,h_630,q_90,w_630/v1518825110/production/designs/2370486_0.jpg
A shame. I was learning some useful conversational Klingon from your reactions to (gagh) Renesmee. In any case, ye gods, any time someone calls any MLP character a Mary Sue, I'll have one hell of a counterexample.
I am definitely down with "Nessie".
But good lard. D:
See, even Jacob gets how dumb that name is.