Ranking the Pillars of Equestria (Version 2) · 3:27pm Sep 16th, 2018
After the events of "A Rockhoof and a Hard Place" this list had to be updated, plus last time around I didn't really talk about Stygian and I feel like now it's imperative to do so considering what's been established in the Legends of Magic comics. So anyway here's the original version, from the end of Season 7. Let's see what changed.
7. Rockhoof
Why he moved down to the bottom: Is it too soon? Maybe. But poor Rockhoof was NOT handled well at all in "A Rockhoof and a Hard Place", if everyone had just minded their own business at the start of the episode he would've been perfectly content. But because Professor Fossil couldn't even try to work with him, she unloaded him onto Twilight, who made no real effort to educate Rockhoof on what had changed and just expected him to figure things out for himself. And at the very end, after being unable to adjust to modern life at all, Rockhoof was saved only because others liked hearing his stories. Great, so what happens when he runs out of stories to tell or ponies start to move on from them? He goes right back to not having a purpose in life. The only reason why I can possibly imagine them mishandling Rockhoof, is because his Scottish accent is more pronounced now, and they thought "accents are funny, so therefore everything Rockhoof does should be funny". That's a mentality similar to what they did with Pinkie Pie in Season 3, and guess what, you can't just stick someone into a scene or episode and expect them to automatically be funny. You have to some kind of actual joke or punchline, which takes effort.
6. Mistmane
Why she moved up: Really she only moved up because Rockhoof moved down, I feel like she and Somnambula had their conflicts glossed over. They had villages they were once part of, even if they're not archeological sites. And of all the places Mistmane would show up in, I somehow don't think the Crystal Empire was the first idea that came to mind. Even the Everfree Forest would've made more sense. And I still can't overlook the fact that Mistmane's legend story was kind of stupid, there really was no reason for her to give up her own beauty, at no point did they specify that the land was unable to bear floral life.
5. Stygian
Why he was added: Stygian alone pokes a lot of holes into Rockhoof's fate, because Stygian was a scholar by trade. One who educated himself on ancient legends, which is what led him to seek them out to save his village. I still don't like how the comics lay the blame for his downfall at Starswirl's hooves, when it was Stygian who went behind the pillars backs, stole items of significance from them, and intended to cast a spell that he had no way to know for sure would work as intended. Yes, he was tempted by the darkness after not being given a chance to explain himself, but all of that could've been avoided had he just approached the pillars and told them what he wanted to do. Even if Starswirl rejected it, Somnambula, Meadowbrook, and likely even Rockhoof and Mistmane would've backed him up.
4. Starswirl the Bearded
Why he moved down: Starswirl was just there for "Friendship University" his role amounted to nothing more than just being an unwitting pawn of Flim and Flam, and something to give Neighsay an excuse to give EEA accrediation to Flim and Flam's school (which he would've done anyway). At no point does he reveal that he was there on a mission or to monitor the school, he's just there because somehow he learned about it before he learned of Twilight's school despite sharing letters with her. I do like the idea of him traveling the world and discovering how much there's still to learn, and it feels like that could be a ripe avenue to revive the Legends of Magic series, showing us Starswirl's travels and have him occasionally bring along other pillars to solve problems.
3. Flash Magnus
Why he moved up: With Starswirl moving down and Stygian coming in kind of low, Flash Magnus managed to shoot his way up to the top three. While his time in "A Rockhoof and a Hard Place" was short, I did like that we finally got the chance to see him as something other than a male Rainbow Dash, a chance to see that he's more than mere bravado. He makes for a fine drill sergeant, and I feel like of the pillars he now has the most likely chance of appearing again since he's in the royal guard. Still would like some clarification on whether or not he's related to Flash Sentry at all, it just feels so uncanny to have two military based pegasi with similar first names and coat colors.
2. Somnambula
Why she moved down: Like Mistmane, Somnambula had her conflict glossed over. I can imagine that even though her village is still standing, she'd be most surprised to learn that the ponies there now worship her as something akin to a deity. Not to mention that Prince Hisan is probably long dead and buried (Somnambula would probably at least in secret be torn up that she never got to say goodbye to him). It would even be interesting to know whether Hisan's descendants are still the rulers of the village, or if the village no longer has pharohs or princes. I also don't exactly get the motivational speaker vibe from Somnambula. Hope may be her defining element, but hope alone doesn't make one a motivational speaker.
1. Mage Meadowbrook
Why she moved up to the top: It makes sense that since Meadowbrook was the most real of the pillars and was already used to life on the road before her disappearance, not to mention Cattail managing her home in her absence, she would have the least amount of trouble adjusting to modern life. Plus, healers like her will always be in demand.
And there you have it.
My ranking is currently:
1. Flash Magnus
2. Somnambula
3. Mage Meadowbrook
4. Starswirl
5. Stygian
6. Mistmane
7. Rockhoof
tbh in A Rockhoof in a Hard Place they did all of the pillars well except rockhoof, the one the episode was about! but the whole thing with him getting wanting to be truned to stone did resonate with me as at times ive felt useless and wanted to disappear
I mean they did the pillars well in that episode, but overall yes they have been glossed over
-sees Meadowbrook at #1-
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3
