Sneak Peek at Purple Tears V.2 · 1:19am Nov 27th, 2018

Just a little comparison and sneak peek into my complete rewrite of Purple Tears!! It's only on the sixth chapter, but ey that's... Chapter two or three of the old story? The further it gets the more it diverts from the original story though, so it'll be hard to compare it soon.
With that said, here's a few chunks side by side!

Original:

"Alright, check number five off, now to go get that delivery for Rarity!" Twilight smiled, but it soon faded into a long sigh.
"And then I have exactly twenty three more things, one of which includes scheduling my free unscheduled time!".
Her pace quickened as she began to hurry up.
Scheduling free time was always a long endeavor, especially when she had to plan something unplanned!
After a bit of thinking, and, trotting, she noticed a colt in the distance.
She shrugged it off at first, but began to study the far away pony. It laid limp on the dirt path, a white head and neck, but a black torso. It`s legs were black and white, like painted socks with stripes.
Twilight began to gallop to the colt.
And within moments, reached him.

Rewrite:

"Alright, that's one party plan done! And then there's two more, and that one meeting... And then Rarity mentioned a delivery. If I'd told Spike about that before I left there'd be more time to assess the problem Mayor Mare brought up..." Twilight mumbled as she trotted along the narrow path and scribbled off a few lines of the long scroll.
"After that, I have to..." she took in a slow inhale and sighed, "Schedule my free time."
Scheduling free time was such a tedious task- the purple Unicorn had grown up used to working constantly, and since she no longer had stressful and hard studies to work on, that free time felt... Wrong. It was probably unhealthy- but whatever, she was productive and that was all that mattered! She fastened her pace and headed towards Ponyville. The meeting she'd just been to had been held outside and just past the outskirts of Ponyville, where she and Zecora had discussed the possibility of Poison Joke spreading past Everfree. Having it set so far away did push back her schedule a little, but at least she had time to think by herself for a few minutes, since the path she was taking now had been long abandoned in favor of a much more reasonable and modernized route.
As she pondered what to occupy her mind with, she took notice of a large black lump in the path ahead of her. It looked like some sort of rock from far away, but the way it was positioned, it couldn't be. Twilight squinted at it as she came closer, and the realization hit her- that was a foal. A foal, laying in the middle of the road, unconscious.
Her heart quickened as she dashed for the limp pony, dropping her pen and scroll carelessly.

Original:

The black and white colt awoke to nothingness.
His eyes were completely black, save for a white dot for the pupil. It was the only thing that glowed in the blank setting he fell in.

Rewrite:

A black creature floated in an expanse of emptiness, conscious but... Scattered.
Two white pinpricks that seemed to function as eyes glowed dimly- it was the only thing illuminating the space-less expanse that may or may not exist. There was a subtle weight pulling down on her, so she knew he must be moving, but she didn't feel like she was. Instead of falling, her body floated in the expanse of darkness in no particular direction.

More descriptive and flavorful text and this time- thank god- no annoying you with "she`s not okay but its fine and their here. they`re not hers." (aka my grammar was weak and I didn't know the difference between there, their, and they're, and used `s instead of 's)

Hope you enjoy what the first chapter is gonna look like!

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