Friendship is Card Games: Pony Life, Week 7 · 12:46pm Oct 11th, 2020
And so we return to Pony Life, and with it both a new overarching plot line and a new character. I have heard a bit about her, but let’s see what I think of the primary source.
Potion Mystery
Ah yes, Dash drinking essence of hedgehog. That was just a matter of time. If anything, I’m impressed by the restraint involved in waiting on this reference.
I wonder if Fluttershy’s size-changing power would allow her to elongate her neck like this normally. She does seem locked into keeping her proportions consistent.
I’m still weirded out by how casually this world treats thaumically active beverages. Pinkie being stuck in balloon form isn’t helping.
And apparently no one knows where the things come from. I’m honestly disappointed. And I may ignore it for the sake of an idea I have regarding Pinkie learning potionmaking.
Also, potions apparently need to be refrigerated. Or they just taste better cold. Still, definitely the sort of thing where you should take the expiration date seriously.
Okay, the CSI: Miami reference was a lot more forced. Shame on you, Taneka Stotts. Especially for trying to double-dip.
“Who’s to say it’s a pony at all? What if it’s a magical creature?”
I’m… not seeing a distinction there. Is this like how people don’t usually think of humans as animals?
“These potions are made by a gifted magic user-slash-scientist.”
Is that slash an “and” or an “or?” Because I could see it going either way.
I’m not at all surprised to learn that Twilight’s tried to reverse engineer these potions. I am kind of surprised to see that there are a bunch of standing stones around this world’s Golden Oaks, along with a buried giant unicorn head. Heck, the stones ringing the library have the Mane Six’s cutie marks engraved on them! The question is whether Twilight inscribed them or they were already like that.
(Also, the explosion may explain why Twilight is sometimes seen living in castle ruins.)
“One failure closer to success.”
It’s kind of sad when the Pony Life version is a better scientist than the Friendship is Magic one.
As for Twilight wanting to become the mystery brewer’s apprentice, I really have to wonder about her relationship with Celestia.
Good use of available supplies with both the camera and Winona… though Applejack’s absence from these antics does raise the question of what she thinks of the others borrowing her dog.
Okay, wow, even I can’t miss those wings. I get it; Pinkie’s the one wingless pony present. But you’d think they’d have premade resources for her that have the appropriate number of limbs. Wouldn’t this take more effort than doing it correctly?
I’m sorry, how exactly has this mysterious potion maker gone without a trace when their presence makes mushrooms sprout out of end tables?
Also, the endemic Larson Syndrome makes it hard to tell whether or not she’s meant to be an alicorn. More data required there.
Sick Day
Ah, there are Rarity and Applejack.
So… did the Mane Six all invest in Sugarcube Corner, do they work there, or are they just happy that Pinkie got a big order?
It’s really sad when tiny cartoon horses take contagious disease more seriously than some actual people.
Rarity, you have telekinesis. You could’ve taken the instructions with magic rather than extending a marshmallow noodle.
Oh hey, a copy of the Omnomnomicon.
Why would Rarity so casually dismiss Pinkie’s baking expertise? You know, besides the needs of the plot.
… I’m sorry, did Pinkie list Cadillacs as one of the frosting flavors? I’m just going to assume I misheard that.
“If only we had written instructions on how to properly run a cupcake business!”
So… is Rarity disregarding the input of everyone around her just going to be a character trait for her for Pony Life? Is that what’s happening here?
The fact that this is explicitly a viral infection makes it hit a little too close to home.
… I have numerous questions about the holoprojecting recipe book.
I have even more questions about that auto-froster. And how Celestia ordered six dozen cupcakes and accepted a package of four. Not four dozen. Four cupcakes. For a catering order. The crap?
“You look as healthy as your hologram.”
One of those sentences that you have to stop and appreciate.
And we have confirmation that Rarity produces gems and gold as part of her digestive process. She’s an anti-dragon, or at least constantly subject to a Smothering Tithe. And Spike’s crush on her took on a disturbing tone.
Meet Potion Nova!
“What happened to us!? We used to go on adventures! Fight evil! Regale each other with lore!”
I think Twilight speaks for all of us. Certainly me. Though really, it’d be nice if she took the initiative. If you want magic adventures, go make them, Magic Horse. (Still, can’t fight the writers. Not outside of fan fiction, anyway.)
Thank goodness the entrance cut off Rarity. Really not liking this grossly egotistical take on her. This world already has a Trixie.
Ugh. Between the rainbows, the “whoops, I’m so clumsy” entrance, and the characters’ reactions, Potion Nova’s coming across like a bad OC.
Also, looks like she’s not supposed to have wings. Or she’s hiding them. Could be either, really.
So, are we ever going to get an explanation for why Potion Nova went with the Tooth Fairy routine?
Twilight, I can understand getting itchy hooves, but you’re at a nine, and we need you at a four.
Huh. Broken bridge over a crevasse. I’ve seen this one too.
Arctic leading directly to desert. I see we’re going by Mushroom Kingdom geography. Or Zendikar, given the floating islands.
“Not all magic has to be big, explosive… showy.”
Kind of wish someone had explained that to some of the FiM writers. Also that not all magic has to take the form of horn beams. Still, someone needing to explain this to Twilight Sparkle feels wrong on several levels.
Potion. It’s called a cart. Though I can understand appreciating the company.
Nice to see Twilight leave a contrail.
Pony Surfin’ Safari
Discord’s definitely rubbing off on Fluttershy given that prank.
I’m sure the Cute Triangle (Cutriangle?) won’t come up again.
Oh boy. Applejack’s going full reunion on the mandatory group activities.
I’m not sure what’s worse, AJ ruining Fluttershy’s kite or Rainbow Dash licking marshmallows like they’re lollipops.
Applejack may be fourth-wall aware, but Pinkie can still exploit scene transitions.
With whom did Applejack sign up for that surfing safari, exactly? It looks like the only staff at the Potion Ocean resort are the crabs.
I’d comment on Rarity using sunscreen, but she’s the one who demonstrated that ponies can indeed get sunburned.
Oars and surfboards seem like an odd mix, but, you know, hooves.
Oh hey, that’s where Bubbles the cat ended up. No big loss. Also a piano. There’s a Triptych Continuum joke in there.
Okay, AJ coming up with the metareferential solution of “throw friendship at the problem until it sticks” is honestly kind of fantastic.
There was a disappointing lack of Beach Boys given that episode title.
I admit, Potion Nova is growing on me… to a degree. I just need more time to get to know her, and the format of the series doesn’t allow for much. I do wish they’d stuck to eleven-minute episodes. Those seem to be the perfect size for this format. Still, some interesting stuff to be had here. Let’s get homebrewing:
Containment Protocol 2W
Sorcery
Exile target creature with a counter on it.
“I don’t know what your deal is, but for both our sakes, I won’t take any chances.”
—Rainbow Dash, Bearer of Loyalty
Cutriangle Seal 2W
Enchantment
When Cutriangle Seal enters the battlefield, exile any number of target nontoken, nonland permanents with total converted mana cost 3 or less your opponents control until Cutriangle Seal leaves the battlefield.
Inexplicable Wings U
Instant
Buyback 4 (You may pay an additional 4 as you cast this spell. If you do, put this card into your hand as it resolves.)
Put a flying counter on target creature.
Twilight looked for the cause. Fluttershy started preening lessons.
Mirrorskin Potion 1U
Instant
Kicker 1U (You may pay an additional 1U as you cast this spell.)
Target permanent you control gains hexproof until end of turn. If this spell was kicked, choose new target for up to one target spell that targets that permanent.
Catalyst Crab 2U
Creature — Crab
Instant and sorcery spells you cast cost 1 less to cast.
Everything that lives in and around the Potion Ocean is infused with its raw magic.
2/2
Decant the Past 3U
Instant
Put any number of target instant and/or sorcery cards from your graveyard on top of your library. Draw a card. Exile Decant the Past.
“Reorders are easy. I already made the potions once.”
—Potion Nova, master alchemist
Trail of Slime 1B
Enchantment
Whenever a creature dies, you may pay 1. When you do, put a -1/-1 counter on target creature.
“It’s green and smells terrible. You don’t need to know germ theory to know it’s bad news.”
—Rainbow Dash, Bearer of Loyalty
Shambling Baker 2B
Creature — Pony Zombie
Lifelink
Unearth 1B (1B: Return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield. It gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step or if it would leave the battlefield. Unearth only as a sorcery.)
3/1
Potioncrust Skeleton 3BB
Creature — Beast Skeleton
Potioncrust Skeleton can’t attack unless a player has eight or more cards in their graveyard.
1B, Mill two cards: Tap Potioncrust Skeleton. It gains indestructible until end of turn. (To mill two cards, put the top two cards of your library into your graveyard.)
5/4
Bösium Tincture R
Artifact
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, you may sacrifice Bösium Tincture. If you do, that creature gets +1/+1 and gains haste until end of turn.
When you absolutely, positively have to go fast.
Feverish Delusion 2R
Instant
Choose one —
• Switch target creature’s power and toughness until end of turn.
• You may choose new targets for target spell with a single target.
Blurred vision makes life more exciting.
Insistent Taskmaster 3R
Creature — Pony Warrior
Attacking creatures you control get +2/+0.
Creatures you control attack each combat if able.
“Let’s go! Let’s go! We’re going out there and you’re all going to like it!”
2/3
Aspect of Giraffe 1G
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has reach.
Fluttershy enjoyed the transmutation until she had to walk back out the door.
Sporetrail Cape 1G
Artifact — Equipment
When Sporetrail Cape enters the battlefield, attach it to target creature you control.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create that many 1/1 green Saproling creature tokens.
Equip 3G
Troll Umbra 2GG
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
When Troll Umbra enter the battlefield, put three +1/+1 counters on enchanted creature.
Totem armor (If enchanted creature would be destroyed, instead remove all damage from it and destroy this Aura.)
Rainbow Arch 2
Artifact
Kicker 3
When Rainbow Arch enters the battlefield, if it was kicked, exile any number of multicolored creatures you control, then return them to the battlefield.
Each multicolored creature you control enters the battlefield with an additional +1/+1 counter on it.
Buried Idol 3
Artifact
1, T: Scry 1. Put a brick counter on Buried Idol.
Buried Idol is a 5/5 Unicorn Golem artifact creature as long as it has three or more brick counters on it.
Whenever Buried Idol attacks, scry 3.
Harmonious Megaliths 3
Artifact
Hoofcraft — Untap Harmonious Megaliths during each other player’s untap step if you control three or more Ponies, Pegasi, and/or Unicorns.
T: Add one mana of any color.
Ancient runes symbolizing modern values.
Volatile Experiment UR
Instant
Counter target spell. If that spell is countered this way, Volatile Experiment deals damage to you equal to that spell’s converted mana cost.
Like the Izzet League, Twilight Sparkle understands that an explosion is as valid and valuable a result as any other.
Aria of Arrogance BG
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on Aria of Arrogance.
1BG, Sacrifice Aria of Arrogance and any number of creatures: Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn for each creature sacrificed this way, where X is the number of verse counters on Aria of Arrogance.
Potion Nova, Archalchemist 2UR
Legendary Creature — Unicorn Wizard
Noncreature spells you cast cost 1 less to cast for each card type among cards in your graveyard.
UR, T, Discard a card: Draw two cards.
“Give me the right ingredients and stand back.”
2/2
Hostile Terrain
Snow Land — Desert
T: Add C.
2S, T or 1, T, Sacrifice a Desert: Hostile Terrain deals 1 damage to each attacking creature. (S can be paid with one mana from a snow source.)
It’s quite lovely for four seconds a day.
The Potion Ocean
Legendary Land
T: Add C.
1U, T: Put an instant or sorcery card at random from your graveyard on top of your library.
A sea of potential waiting to be realized.
I fell like pony life was written as FIM in universe fan fiction (maby it was written by a mellowed out discord with the strangeness, or a older CMC.)
Obviously this is the remnants of a post-scarcity, post-apocalyptic society that has left its holographic recreation of the early Twilight era to run amok. It's the only explanation I have left.
5375890 5375897
I'm still sticking to the theory that this universe was created by Chaos Goddess Pinkie Pie in a single moment of careless, idle thought.
OoOoOo, potions :3
"laughs uncontrollably for five minutes"
Think of all the potential recipes 
I just....that....that is the best thing ever right there
Totally the best thing ever
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Remember, generic reductions only work on generic costs. Potion Nova will be more useful to noncreature artifacts than to instants and sorceries as a result, as anyone who has ever tried to enable Tarmogoyf can attest to.
5375960
The rest of the book, it's a cookbook!
5375901
It would explain much wouldn’t it. Blaming Discord is a safe bet too.
ORrrrrr... it’s a byproduct of the battle between Chaos Lord Pinkie Pie and Discord, Returning Champion (or whatever those planeswalkers were actually called) that survived the clash. Discord stuck it in a funhouse mirror, since he’s been learning compassion from Fluttershy and wouldn’t just let a universe, even a small strange one, evaporate back into nothingness once it had living inhabitants. Said funhouse mirror will be a minor artifact in its own right, wherever it turns up.
Personally I think a Crazy Pinkie Whimsy World would look like Candyland, but played dead straight as far as worldbuilding goes.
Potion Nova is Evil. EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She is not to be trusted at all to anypony whatsoever. -_-
I think there's a typo in the text for Mirrorskin Potion.
Why brick counters?
Wait, what gave you THAT idea?
Anyway, I think there are a couple of mistakes in the cards in this batch. Aspect of Giraffe seems to need an "Enchant creature" and I'm pretty sure Aria of Arrogance isn't supposed to be a repeatable effect...is it?
Or Pandora (of Borderlands)
Ugh, seriously. Just crack open a D&D player's handbook and you'll find literally hundreds of spells that Twilight 'studies literally everything' Sparkle should have mastered by now. I forget which one of the HiSHE: MLP Movie fics on here did it, but it had the storm armada's invasion stopped with, among other things, Celestia calling down sunbeams like kill sats, Luna banishing storm soldiers into the void, and Twlight using a combination of reverse gravity, rock to mud, and mud to rock to slam around Tempest a few times then trap her while pointing out that she's not just the princess of friendship, she's the princess of magic.
I quite like Potion Nova, and it's interesting to see different people's reactions to her. I've seen quite a few people (okay, maybe only a handful, but that is quite a few relative to the numbers of us PL watchers) who believe she's evil or secretly hiding something, and I think that just highlights how she doesn't really fit into the same scheme as other FiM characters, if that makes sense. But I also like PL Rarity so what do I know.
As for the wings, the interesting bit is that she's actually seen flying at one point. So I have to wonder how much it was animation errors, if she's actually an alicorn in disguise, or if she was meant to be an alicorn and that was changed during production. Personally as far as my fics go, since she's been showing using them, I might have her as a Schrödinger's alicorn of sorts. An incomplete alicorn, maybe. She does have wings, just not all the time. Sometimes she just gets a ghostly image of them on her back.
I'll just take a moment to point to what E Moose said in another comment:
Now that I have pointed to it, I think you already know what reference I'm meaning to make, so I don't need to spell it out.
(The car company was named after the person who founded Detroit, it is several other things as well)