fJd Review: Spectrum of Lightning by Seriff Pilcrow · 5:11pm Nov 2nd, 2020
Overview:
An action-packed fic detailing the exploits of a young Twilight Velvet and Daring Do as they purse the fragments of a McGuffin. All from Twilight Velvet’s own journal, discovered by Spike. An added element of mystery comes with Spike trying to determine whether or not the events detailed in the journal actually correlate with the mare who helped to raise him.
My Thoughts:
Pinkie Pie probably said it best in Griffon the Brush Off:
Pinkie Pie: Hoof-biting action overload!
That actually kind of sums this up. If I threw in a John Wick bluray I’d get the same level of adrenaline as reading this story. Almost.
That is to say, this is a pretty amazing read. It’s face paced and very meta in its excellent humor, which is sprinkled liberally throughout without interfering with the main plot or the character’s development.
At certain points I was on the edge of my seat. I was always rooting for the good guys, but it wasn’t always clear whether they’d come through. The violence is rather well played, and the guns aren’t poorly managed, though I still have trouble picturing a pony with their clunky hooves manipulating one. Doesn’t really feel unrealistic in the way the author depicts it, so I never actually got distracted by that thinking until I’d reached the last currently available chapter.
Yeah, when an author can write in odd, incompatible objects and somehow get the reader to forget to worry about that? That’s good writing in my book.
I hate and love the action move trope of “neverending minions” in the chase scenes, because while that definitely provides extra edge and tension, I often get stuck on how realistic it is to expect the bad guys to continually be several steps ahead of the good guys. I did have those feelings as I read the story, but not to the point of distraction. The action was simply too good to bother lingering on the thought.
Honestly, I went into this thinking Twilight Velvet would be depicted as some elite special forces op secretly working alongside Daring Do. I was pleasantly surprised to be proven very wrong. She is a reporter for a scientific journal, a bit overweight, and very much in love with Night Light. She is just so strikingly average until she uses her brain and starts messing with technology. It’s pretty clear in this story where Twilight Sparkle gets most of her brains from.
I can definitely recommend this story to anyone. The violence is not over-the-top, the action is excellent, and the pacing is actually very good. A warning though, while the violence is not over-the-top, the body count is pretty high and language can get pretty coarse.
Also, this fic is not yet complete and the last update was May 3rd, 2020. So it isn’t clear when we can expect further chapters, but I hope it doesn’t take long. I really want to read more by this author.
Characterization:
Daring Do
Daring Do benefits from being portrayed as a badass. She’s an experienced fighter, skilled with guns, and has snarky one-liners. There’s little of the baseline Daring Do in here except her appearance and her going after artifacts, and her trademark “I work alone” speech.
Normally this would be problematic, but the characterization is done so well in the overhaul that I feel like I’d rather see this Daring Do in the show. She’s just so much more mature and fitting for the role of adventure-prone archeologist. Particularly in a ‘verse where guns are prevalent.
And up to this point in the story, we haven’t met in her present day. We haven’t even stablished that she’s real. It’s amazing.
Spike
Spike is the info dumpster. He’s the one reading the journal, and discreetly investigating the truth behind it all. He’s in the present day narrative, alongside Twilight Sparkle, continually scrutinizing every detail of Velvet. He wants the truth, and he’ll find it. When he does, we’ll know too. So, really, we’re pretty much seeing the world through his eyes.
Twilight Sparkle
She’s sort of antagonized by her mother, and we can to see that their relationship is not especially close. She’s more of a daddy’s girl, which is adorkable. Her role is not prominent in this story, other than to deal with Spike and just ask questions or inform the reader in ways relevant to her. We’re mostly just getting a look at the family dynamic of the Sparkles.
Twilight Velvet
Reporter for a Scientific Journal. Gadgeteer. Highly intelligent. A little overweight. Snarky as hell. This character is beautifully crafted, and her design reflects a lot of what she demonstrated in the show. She also has a flare for unknowingly throwing out ironic statements. The humor and joy of this character is in her utter normalcy at the end of the day. She doesn’t face the odds with a brave face, she panics and gets desperate. She’s imperfect, and that’s a delight to see.
I had expected a secret agent style, but she’s so much better than that. I could even accept all of this version of her as canonical with the show.
Night Light
Her fiancé, and her husband. I say it both ways because we get to see him both in present day and in the journal flashbacks. He doesn’t play a major role, at least not yet.
Character Development:
Twilight Velvet’s growth comes from the dangers she’s faced and the mistkaes she’s made. At this point she’s not sure how her relationship with Night Light will stand against all the turmoil. She’s stubborn as anything in the pursuit of a good story to report. But she learns, she has regrets, she has real feelings that are relatable. The characters in this story all evolve one way or another.
Daring Do, for example, was a sort of detached antisocial character, content to do her work on her own and not interested in making friends. Twilight pushes her way into Daring’s life, and Daring starts to soften up, little by little becoming friendlier and protective. It’s not all at once, it’s not magically there after a second, it develops organically and that is precious.
The same can be said of Night Light, her relationship with him, and the way we see the tension between her and Twilight Sparkle. It’s a really amazing journey just seeing howt hey grow, how their relationships change and evolve or fade, and just seeing how the character’s change their minds about once firm beliefs.
Theme:
This story was an action-adventure, well is one in the making. It isn’t a shipfest, it’s a genuinely inspired story about pursuing the fragments of a McGuffin while avoiding hoards of minions hired by some shady overlord. It’s handled quite well, respectfully even. So I have no complaints about this section.
Logic:
Ponies with guns is a difficult thing for me to process. But, as I said earlier, the way this is written invites me to forget about fitting their hooves into the triggers for a moment and just accept that it’s happening. The pacing plays a role in that, but also the fact that the guns aren’t the center point of any part of the narrative. While the references are pretty specific and authentic, and Daring Do does have the skill to use them, they aren’t played up so much as to demand scrutiny of that kind. Thus, the logic field is without complaint from me.
Rating:
Story Idea: 9.5
(What a terrific idea this is, Twilight Velvet with a secret past? And we aren’t even sure it’s a real secret past? Layers of mystery and action create a terrific story.)
Writing Style: 9.0
(Minor errors in spacing, technical writing, and such abound. Though not so much as to be distracting, or make the story itself unreadable. I just happen to be a stickler. The end result is that I can honestly give this a higher rating because apart from those minor nitpicks, the writing is very good and draws the reader in effectively.)
Entertainment Factor: 9.9
(As entertaining fics go, this one rates pretty high for me. I’ve read a lot, and I have enjoyed the action in many. It is particularly effective when it is also dark, when there are real stakes and injuries involved. This story is not fluff, which increases the tension in the action sequences. It’s quite the ride.)
Inner Logic: 8.0
(The guns, man, the guns. I keep coming back to that, but I also keep saying how the writing makes it a moot point. I’m standing by that, setting my rating accordingly. The rest of the story, apart from the fantasy elements and magitech elements, applies physics accurately and keeps injuries realistic as well. Overall, I have no real complaints.)
Final: 9.10
Feedback/Final Thoughts:
A phenomenal adventure fic. The pacing was good, the character development/growth was great. The only issue I really have is that the story is unfinished and 5 months have passed since the last update. I do hope to see more from you soon. You should be writing a lot more considering what you have to offer.
Thank you for choosing me to be your reviewer!
