Horse Story · 2:02am Nov 19th, 2020
So, this horse is watching MTV and sees a guy playing guitar all wiggly-widdly-widdly-wiggly.
And the horse is just into it and says "Man, I gotta learn to do that!!
So he calls up the music teacher and is like "Hey man!!! I saw this guy playing guitar and I really need to learn to play guitar now, but there's one problem... Imma horse.."
Music Teacher says "No problem! Come in... I'll teach you to play guitar!!" So he brings him in, teaches him.
Several months later, the horse is awesome at guitar! Calls chicken over "Chicken! C'mere!! Look what I can do!!"
Wiggly-widdly-wiggly-widdly Blows him... away!
Chicken is like "Where'd you learn that?!"
"You gotta check out this Music video!" and Horse shows Chicken the video of his influence.
Chicken pauses... and says "That guitar is cool but I wanna learn THAT!" He points to the drums.
Chicken's like "THAT'S my jam!" Chicken calls up the music teacher "HEY, can you teach me to play the drums?!"
Teacher says "Yeah sure!" Chicken quickly notions "Now h-hang on, You know Imma chicken!
Music teacher quickly answers "Doesn't matter, we have technology, don't worry about it, come on in, play some drums!"
So, after some months go by Horse and Chicken are just jammin' in the barn and they call Cow over
"Hey Cow, you gotta come check this out" But cow sees some guy playin' bass and says "THAT'S my jam... Moo!" So he calls up the music teacher!
After a couple months... Cow's rockin the Bass, Chicken's rockin the drums, Horse is just Killin it on guitar!
Widdly-wiggly-wiggly-widdly
They got themselves a band now!
They're out playin one night, and this producer comes up to them: "I wanna sign you guys!! You guys are amazing!!!"
They get signed to a huge contract! They start playin' gigs all over the country!
They become MASSIVELY successful over the next year!
Things were going great, but then one day... Horse gets a call...
"Horse your mom is sick... you gotta come check on mom"
So horse leaves, he goes, he checks on mom. Thank goodness...
Mom's fine. But while he's visiting mom, he gets ANOTHER call!
"Oh no! your band members and your producer, they were all on the plane, they were flyin' somewhere and the plane went down."
So Cow's dead... Chicken's Dead... The producer's Dead... all This, this Horse's ENTIRE career is gone!
He's got NOTHING! So he wants to drink himself to death!
So horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?"
My tooth hurts
Well, that was... certainly something, that's for sure. I can't say I didn't enjoy it, that much I can ascertain.
I hope your tooth stops hurting.
5400754
Thanks, I Bought some painkiller and now I can finally sleep.
your newest blog sounds like a waynes world shitpost and I love it